Lisa notes

Why You Should Write Back. Now.

By LisaNotes March 10, 2020 Community, Encouragement 34 Comments

Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.
Isaiah 65:24

Hit Send

It felt risky. I wasn’t sure I should say it. I wondered if it would change things, make things weird.

I wordsmithed it cautiously, copied it to Gmail, and hit send.

Then waited.
For something.
Anything.
Anytime now.
Please?

You, too? Waiting to hear back from someone about something you sent?

No Response?

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m not always good about responding either. I definitely could be better.

But this I know. Eventually. . .

We all should write back.

(Or text or message or call or visit . . . .)

Because we all know what it feels like when someone doesn’t get back to us.

It hurts.

When you make yourself vulnerable but are left hanging, you question if you said too much.
When you throw out a tiny bait but get no bite at all, you wonder who cares.
When you ask a question but get no answer, you feel insulted.

At the very least, you feel unheard. Did they even get my message? Maybe my email bounced? Was my voicemail deleted?

Now What?

What can we do when someone doesn’t respond to us? Not much. We can’t make someone pay attention. Try again if it’s important. Or forgive and move on.

But we can control how we respond to others.

Be the one to reach back.

You might not heal the hurt or dispense wisdom or fix any problems with your reply. But when you affirm that you’re listening, at least you stay connected.

So if you can:

When someone sends you a note, acknowledge its receipt.
When someone asks a question, give an answer (“I don’t know” is acceptable; so is, “I’ll respond later.”)
When someone says, “I need help,” say that you care (if you do), even if you don’t know what to do next.

Any acknowledgement, however short, is better than none at all.

So say something.
Hey, I hear you. I care. You matter.

Write back.

Who do you need to respond to today? It’s not too late. It can be short, but let it be something. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

Be a Better Daily Helper – Grace & Truth Link-Up

By LisaNotes March 6, 2020 Grace & Truth Link-Up No Comments

When Helping Doesn’t Come Naturally

Some people are natural helpers. It seems giving comes easily to them. They know what to do; they have time to do it; they have resources to give away.

But for the rest of us, we need tips.

I know I do. Karen gives some great suggestions in today’s featured post about how to add more service into our everyday lives.

It still may not come easy to serve. But it may come quicker and more frequent when we recognize these opportunities.

They’re usually not as hard as we imagine. And once we do them, we are as blessed as the person we are serving.

Our Featured Post

I encourage you, too, to read Karen’s post today: “4 Practical Ways to Incorporate Service Into Your Daily Life.” She writes at Growing Together in Grace and Knowledge.

Join her to look at these four practical ways to incorporate service into your daily life. She gives very practical suggestions under each category.

Serve others through your time
Serve others through your hospitality
Serve others through a good attitude
Serve others through your spiritual gifts

Thanks for sharing, Karen! Here’s a button for your blog.

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5 Links, Books, and Things I Love – March 2020

By LisaNotes March 4, 2020 Life updates, Links I like 18 Comments

Every month I share my list of favorite 5’s.

5 interesting things online
5 articles about words, books, or podcasts
5 pictures of things I love
5 things on the blog

What are you enjoying this month?

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5 Things Around the Web

An Open Letter to the Older Women in the Church

“I didn’t know how to respond. I wasn’t too busy for you. I was scared because I didn’t think I could do what you were asking of me.”

An Illustration of How Relationships Change Over Time

An artist illustrates the dynamics of various relationships by drawing lines.

If You Think the U.S. Is More Polarized Than Ever

We sometimes think we’re more polarized in the U.S. than ever before. But not so. Not even close.

Confessions of a Recovering Evangelist

“If I gave you 30 minutes to tell these Christians what not to do to have a spiritual conversation with you, what would you tell them?”

When Schools Close

I saw this on Facebook. It reminded me of how it used to be when I was growing up (but more like 1970, not 1990).

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

5 Things with Words and Books

Free Audiobook—The Ragamuffin Gospel

Christian Audio offers a free audiobook each month. This month’s selection is one of my favorites, the late Brennan Manning’s The Ragamuffin Gospel.

When Your Books Talk to Each Other

I love when this happens. It’s one of the perks of reading more than one book at a time.

You’re Not Listening. Here’s Why.

From Kate Murphy, the author of this wonderful book, You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters, see why we have an unconscious tendency to tune people out.

Should a Book’s Title Match Its Content? + 3 Books I Recommend

And speaking of You’re Not Listening, it’s one of my favorite 3 books I read this month.

Book Dreams

Wouldn’t this delivery be lovely? For us readers, anyway.

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5 Things I Love

4 Corners Slumber Party

We had our annual Christmas slumber party a few weeks ago. It used to actually be in December. Then we shifted it to January. Now we are lucky to squeeze it in by February. I love these lifetime friends. We made big plans for upcoming trips in 2020.

~ * ~

Our Little Outdoors Girl

Our oldest granddaughter has spent a few afternoons in the woods with her dad. She was curious about this squirrel he got.

~ * ~

Sick One

It’s been a rough winter. Our baby granddaughter had a rough go with sickness and was waiting her turn here at the doctor’s office. I still find her adorable, even when she’s sick.

~ * ~

But Recovered

But by the next visit, she had fully recovered and returned to her happy little self. 4 months old now!

~ * ~

My Baby’s Babies

I love that I get to watch my baby girl in action once a week. She’s an awesome teacher and loves her students so much. They were reciting their memory verse together here.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

5 Things on the Blog

Your Cheat Sheet: Summary for Enneagram Types {Enneagram Series #28}

Get your cheat sheet of a summary for Enneagram types. It includes triads, groups, core traits, etc., for each Enneagram number.

Improve Your Relationships with Other Numbers on the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #26}

See how to improve your relationships with other numbers on the Enneagram. Approach each personality type in a way that suits them best.

Who Has Your Enneagram Number? Numbers of Famous People and People in the Bible {Enneagram Series #6}

What are the Enneagram numbers of famous people and people in the Bible? Here are guesses. See who has your Enneagram number to help find your own.

If You Don’t Know What to Say

If you don’t know what to say, try using a blessing from scripture. Philippians 1:9-11 is a prayer for love, wisdom, and hope.

20 Ways to Practice the Enneagram for Spiritual Growth {Series Index}

How can you practice the Enneagram for spiritual growth? Discover 20 ways to use the Enneagram in this series. Don’t just learn about it; use it.

* * *

What was a highlight from your February? What are you looking forward to in March? Please share in the comments.

previous Links and Books

On the Blog – February 2020

By LisaNotes February 29, 2020 Archives 1 Comment

Here are brief summaries and links to blog posts from February 2020.

Don’t Make Me and Week 4 in Summary {Enneagram Series #29} (2/29)
See summaries of all the Enneagram posts in week 4 of the series, Enneagram for Spiritual Growth.
Your Cheat Sheet: Summary for Enneagram Types {Enneagram Series #28} (2/28)
Get your cheat sheet of a summary for Enneagram types. It includes triads, groups, core traits, etc., for each Enneagram number.
Notice His Presence – Grace & Truth Link-Up (2/28)
God is with us in ALL our moments. He’s never too busy to notice us. Are we too busy to notice him? Link up this week for Grace & Truth.
A Wake-Up Call for Each Number on the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #27} (2/27)
When you’re spiraling downward, you need a wake-up call. See one for each Enneagram number. Also see the unique gift your type can give the world.
Improve Your Relationships with Other Numbers on the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #26} (2/26)
See how to improve your relationships with other numbers on the Enneagram. Approach each personality type in a way that suits them best.
Which Enneagram Types Go Best Together? {Enneagram Series #25} (2/25)
Which Enneagram types go best together? Those at their healthiest number. Here are the best/worst traits to watch for in each number.
Should a Book’s Title Match Its Content? + 3 Books I Recommend – February 2020 (2/24)
Should a book’s title match its content? Yes, please. Plus 3 books I recommend in February 2020.
Shine a Light on 9 Ways We Lose Our Way {Enneagram Series #24} (2/24)
See the 9 ways (Passions) each Enneagram type can lose their way. And learn Bible verses to shine a light on them.
The Most Important Thing About You {Enneagram Series #23} (2/23)
What is the most important thing about you? The Enneagram teaches us many important things about ourselves. But the best? We are loved by God.
Each Type on Their Day Off and Week 3 in Summary {Enneagram Series #22} (2/22)
See what each Enneagram type does on their day off. Here also is the week 3 summary of the series, Enneagram for Spiritual Growth, featuring intelligence centers, harmony triads, harmonic groups, etc.
Grace at 6:11 a.m. – Grace & Truth Link-Up (2/21)
When we fall, we don’t have to stay down. His mercies are new every morning. Join us for the Grace and Truth Link-Up.
3 Survival Strategies – Subtypes of the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #21} (2/21)
What’s your go-to survival strategy? Being alone, meeting up with a crowd of friends, or spending one-on-one time with someone special? Learn the subtype for your Enneagram number.
What’s Your Coping Style? Choose Your Response {Enneagram Series #20} (2/20)
What’s your coping style? Do you respond logically, positively, or emotionally when troubles come? Know your Enneagram style to choose appropriately.
Is Your Social Style Annoying? 9 Ways We Manipulate Each Other {Enneagram Series #19} (2/19)
Look at the three social styles (stances) on the Enneagram. See how we manipulate each other and how we can stop doing it.
What’s Your Connection Style? 9 Prayer Practices for Each Enneagram Number {Enneagram Series #18} (2/18)
Find your connection style using the Harmony Triads of the Enneagram. Discover a unique prayer practice according to your Enneagram number.
Are You a Thinker, Feeler, or Doer? Enneagram Triads & 3 Practices {Enneagram Series #17} (2/17)
Are you more of a thinker, feeler, or doer? See which Enneagram triad you belong to and the spiritual discipline to practice it.
You See Differently {Enneagram Series #16} (2/16)
You see differently than I do. We can’t change that. “You can’t change how you see—you can only change what you do with how you see,” says Suzanne Stabile.
On Your Mind Before Bed and Week 2 in Summary {Enneagram Series #15} (2/15)
See what’s on your mind before bed by Enneagram type. Here also is the week 2 summary of the series, Enneagram for Spiritual Growth, featuring wings and lines of disintegration and integration.
Stingy or Generous? – Grace & Truth Linkup (2/14)
Are you a stingy or generous giver? Visit our featured post to find out. Link up your Christian living blog posts here at Grace & Truth.
Podcasts, Music, and Other Resources on the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #14} (2/14)
If you want to learn more about the Enneagram in places other than books, you have a multitude of resources available to you. Here are my favorite podcasts, Instagrammers, music, etc.
If You Don’t Know What to Say (2/13)
If you don’t know what to say, try using a blessing from scripture. Philippians 1:9-11 is a prayer for love, wisdom, and hope.
My Favorite 6 Books on the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #13} (2/13)
Here are six of my favorite books on the Enneagram. Although the Enneagram began as an oral tradition, you can now find lots of written material.
Be a Healthy Number – Lines, Arrows, and Letting Go on the Enneagram {Enneagram Series #12} (2/12)
Don’t freeze at your core number on the Enneagram. Move around the circle to become a healthier number, using lines and arrows on the symbol.
What Is MY Enneagram Wing? Extra Names for Subtypes {Enneagram Series #11} (2/11)
Identifying your Enneagram wing number is as important as discovering your core number. See subtype names. Find a healthy practice to develop.
3 People to Love on Valentine’s Day (2/10)
Who are you going to love on Valentine’s Day? Try these three people. One from your past, one in your present, and one in your future.
What Are Enneagram Wings? Your Invitation to Abundance {Enneagram Series #10} (2/10)
Knowing your main Enneagram number is good. But don’t stop there. Learn your Enneagram wing. It explains a lot. See your invitations to abundance.
A Hidden Gift in Each Enneagram Number {Enneagram Series #9} (2/9)
Every Enneagram number has a hidden gift associated with it. Find yours. Use yours.
Your First Impression of the Enneagram and Week 1 in Summary {Enneagram Series #8} (2/8)
What was your first impression of the Enneagram? See the first week’s summary here of the Enneagram series, Enneagram for Spiritual Growth.
Where Did the Enneagram Come From? What Does the Symbol Mean? {Enneagram Series #7} (2/7)
Where did the Enneagram come from anyway? What are its origins? What does the symbol mean? It’s not as crazy as it looks.
Who Has Your Enneagram Number? Numbers of Famous People and People in the Bible {Enneagram Series #6} (2/6)
What are the Enneagram numbers of famous people and people in the Bible? Here are guesses. See who has your Enneagram number to help find your own.
5 Enneagram Tests to Determine Your Type {Enneagram Series #5} (2/5)
Take an Enneagram test to help determine your type.They may at least rule out what your number is not. Here are links to five tests.
3 Ways to Find YOUR Enneagram Number + 9 Healing Attitudes to Accept It {Enneagram Series #4} (2/4)
What’s your Enneagram type? Here are three ways to find your enneagram number. And one way NOT to.
9 Enneagram Types with 9 Fears and Desires {Enneagram Series #3} (2/3)
Discover the nine Enneagram types with their core fears and desires. New series on how to practice the Enneagram for spiritual growth.
You Are God’s Masterpiece {Enneagram Series #2} (2/2)
The Enneagram can help you discover you are God’s masterpiece. But don’t overvalue the tool; worship the One it leads you to.
5 Links, Books, and Things I Love – February 2020 (2/1)
Links and pictures of articles, books, and things I love – February 2020
20 Ways to Practice the Enneagram for Spiritual Growth {Series Index} (2/1)
How can you practice the Enneagram for spiritual growth? Discover 20 ways to use the Enneagram in this series. Don’t just learn about it; use it.

Don’t Make Me and Week 4 in Summary {Enneagram Series #29}

By LisaNotes February 29, 2020 Enneagram 5 Comments

Depending on your Enneagram type, there are certain things that you’d rather not have to do anymore. See if this list rings true with you.

Follow Sarajane Case at Enneagramandcoffee on Instagram to see more Enneagram lists like this.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Summary of the Week

Below is a short recap of the Enneagram articles from this week.

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, see these five articles from week 4 in our series, “The Enneagram for Spiritual Growth: 20 Ways to Practice the Enneagram.”

#24 Shine a Light on 9 Ways We Lose Our Way

Spiritual Practice #16—Learn your verse.

See the 9 ways (Passions) each Enneagram type can lose their way. Learn Bible verses to shine a light on them.

#25 Which Enneagram Types Go Best Together?

Spiritual Practice #17—See the best and worst in relationships.

Which Enneagram types go best together? Those at their healthiest number. Here are the best/worst traits to watch for in each number.

#26 Improve Your Relationships with Other Numbers on the Enneagram

Spiritual Practice #18—Use these relationship tips.

See how to improve your relationships with other numbers on the Enneagram. Approach each personality type in a way that suits them best.

#27 A Wake-Up Call for Each Number on the Enneagram

Spiritual Practice #19—Use your gift.

When you’re spiraling downward, you need a wake-up call. See one for each Enneagram number. Also see the unique gift your type can give the world.

#28 Your Cheat Sheet: Summary for Enneagram Types

Spiritual Practice #20—Pray about these 9 lies and truths.

Get your cheat sheet of a summary for Enneagram types. It includes triads, groups, core traits, etc., for each number. Also see this list of lies/truths for each number.

Did you learn anything new about your relationships this week using the Enneagram? Please share in the comments.

See the whole Enneagram series here

Previous: Your Cheat Sheet: Summary for Enneagram Types {Series #28}

Your Cheat Sheet: Summary for Enneagram Types {Enneagram Series #28}

By LisaNotes February 28, 2020 Enneagram 12 Comments

Get your cheat sheet below of a summary for Enneagram types.

Summary for Enneagram Types

As you’ve discovered throughout this series, the Enneagram is a rich tool, far more than just a number on a personality chart.

The more you dig into it, the more it expands.

As you use it to expand your own soul through the grace of God, harness it not just for your own growth, but also for the greater good of loving God and loving others.

Here is an Enneagram cheat sheet for you to download. It includes many of the Enneagram triads, groups, core traits, etc., that we covered for each number, along with a clickable link connecting to its associated post.

Download “Summary for Enneagram Types” here

Spiritual Practice #20—9 Lies and Truths

Our final spiritual practice is to evaluate a set of lies and truths that we believe, one for each number.

Pray about any lies you are believing and ask God’s Spirit to replace them with his eternal truths about who he is, who you are, and how you can best love others. The information is revised from AJ Sherrill’s Enneagram & the Way of Jesus and from Suzanne Stabile.

Type 1—Perfectionist

The lies Ones believe:
“It’s not ok to make a mistake; I have to be perfect.”
The truth Ones need:
“You are loved for who you are, not how good you are.”

Type 2—Helper

The lies Twos believe:
“It’s not ok to be needy.”
The truth Twos need:
“You are wanted.”

Type 3—Performer

The lies Threes believe:
“It’s not ok to be seen as a failure.”
The truth Threes need:
“You are loved for who you are, not for what you do.”

Type 4—Individualist

The lies Fours believe:
“It is not ok to be too functional or too happy.”
The truth Fours need:
“You are seen and valued for who you are.”

Type 5—Investigator

The lies Fives believe:
“You are strong enough to not need help.”
The truth Fives need:
“Your needs are not a problem.”

Type 6—Loyalist

The lies Sixes believe:
“It is not ok to trust yourself.”
The truth Sixes need:
“You are safe.”

Type 7—Enthusiast

The lies Sevens believe:
“It is not ok to depend on anyone for anything.”
The truth Sevens need:
“You will be taken care of.”

Type 8—Challenger

The lies Eights believe:
“It is not ok to be vulnerable—you can’t trust people.”
The truth Eights need:
“It’s ok to be weak.”

Type 9—Peacemaker

The lies Nines believe:
“It’s not ok to be bold and assert yourself.”
The truth Nines need:
“Your presence and opinion matters.”

For more, here is an excellent Spiritual Formation Plan you can download from Saturate on how to use the Enneagram. The plan is designed to help you “take off the mask so the real you can meet Jesus and be transformed into the person God made you to be, for His glory and the good of others.”

Thank you for traveling along this journey with me. I’ve enjoyed every single comment and have learned much from you.

Please share any thoughts in the comments.

Previous: A Wake-Up Call for Each Number on the Enneagram {Series #27}

Next: Don’t Make Me and Week 4 in Summary {Series #29}