You See Differently {Enneagram Series #16}

We don’t see the world the same. You see differently than I do. We can’t change that.

But what we can change is what we do with that awareness.

You can’t change how you see—you can only change what you do with how you see.Suzanne Stabile

We See Differently

Most of us have no idea that others don’t see as we see, nor do they process their experiences in the same way we do.

A  person whose go-to stance in life relies on feeling and another whose orientation is toward thinking or acting will respond completely different to everything from a simple request in an email to a life crisis.

Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others, and in ourselves.”
– Suzanne Stabile

While we can’t change how we’re wired to see the world, we can become better aware of it. And then understand that others see differently than we do. We all come from a different perspective.

Understanding our differences doesn’t have to alienate us from each other. Rather, awareness of our differences can help us give each other more grace.

God made us each unique. The sooner we accept it as a beautiful thing, not a hindrance, the more love we can show each other.

This quote from Suzanne Stabile is one of my favorites. It’s from her excellent Enneagram book on relationships,  The Path Between Us.

“You can’t change how you see—you can only change what you do with how you see.”


Are you partnered in life with someone who has a different Enneagram number than you? What benefits does it provide? Please share in the comments.

See the whole Enneagram series here

Enneagram for Spiritual Growth

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Previous: On Your Mind Before Bed and Week in Summary {Series #15}

Next: Are You a Thinker, Feeler, or Doer? Enneagram Triads & 3 Practices {Series #17} 

2 thoughts on “You See Differently {Enneagram Series #16}

  1. blankMartha Brady

    it would be difficult for my husband to take a test for this right now due to dementia. i’m not sure which eneagram he is. we are definitely different. i think that is why we work:)
    he thinks carefully b/f he speaks, is very tactful, speaks concisely, has a great sense of humor, is probably an extroverted introvert. he can speak publicly without much stress. (retired pastor). and is also quite organized.
    not many of those characteristics come naturally to me. I’ll have to sit down and figure out what describes him best.

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