The 50 Page Dilemma

Should I stop reading Braiding Sweetgrass?

A few years back, I began following this general rule of reading:

If a book doesn’t grab your attention by page 50, you can DNF it (do not finish) with no guilt.

So when I get to page 50 of Braiding Sweetgrass, after it has been sitting untouched on my bedroom shelf for almost a year, I toy with the idea of giving up. It feels so slow. I’ve already begun skimming, the red flag that it’s losing me.

Yet it’s hard for me to give up on a book. What if the very next page will be the turning point?

It makes me sad that I don’t like it. I’ve been hearing good things about Braiding Sweetgrass for a few years now.

But maybe it just isn’t for me.

Life is short, and the number of books on my to-read list is very, very, very long.

Yet in honor of friends who rave about the book, I read a few more pages.

And then on page 53, while Robin Wall Kimmerer is going deep into her chapter on “Learning the Grammar of Animacy,” something happens.

Wait. Now I’m Interested.

She is telling that English is a noun-based language (how had I never heard or noticed this?). Verbs make up only around 30% of English words. But in her native Potawatomi language, verbs are about 70% of its words.

I am interested. I stop skimming. And I keep reading.

She keeps engaging me. She writes about how children animate the world, speaking of plants and animals as if they are people. They only stop when we adults step in to remind them, no, “the tree is not a who, but an it,” turning living things back into inanimate objects. As Kimmerer writes, “If a maple is an it, we can take up the chain saw. If a maple is a her, we think twice.”

I slow way down to keep reading, every word.

On page 82, in the chapter of “A Mother’s Work,” Kimmerer tells about cleaning out her pond so her children can swim in it. For whatever reason, I am entranced.

Halfway into the chapter, I find myself underlining her declaration that “Transformation is not accomplished by tentative wading at the edge” as she describes her new relationship with mud. Instead of trying to protect herself from mud, she has given in to it, noticing all the fascinating creatures that live in it.

Now I’m on page 110. And I’m completely hooked.

I finally have adapted to the cadence of the book.

It’s slower than I’m used to. I expected a quick read, a scanning for facts. But that style of reading is not a good fit for this book. Nor for me. We were missing each other. Until I slowed down.

I’ve matched our pace at last.

Now I settle in with each new chapter. Slowly and attentively, I remain curious to see what magic will unfold as I relax and absorb the essays instead of hurrying and scouring them for information.

Page after page I turn, until a chapter is concluded, and I am content.

When We Find Each Other’s Pace

Not every book is meant to be read the same. At least not by every reader. Sometimes we match up perfectly from the beginning. Sometimes we never do at all. DNF.

The same is true of relationships. Not every person is meant to be engaged the same way.

Some people are quick and loud and in and out. But others require a slowing down, a leaning in, a patient waiting. When we don’t adjust our pace, we can miss each other entirely.

And like my reading of Braiding Sweetgrass, finding the right pace with a person may take a few more conversations than we’d like, to understand how someone else moves in the world, to see if we can match our strides, to uncover the beauty of a person that comes dearly recommended by another.

First impressions aren’t always the truest ones.

A connection may sometimes take a little longer than we’d planned. Maybe a few extra page turns. And maybe we’ll get there if we don’t give up just yet. Not yet.

It was in the not yet with Braiding Sweetgrass that I finally crossed over. I made the shift from boredom to delight.

And if we have time, space, and desire to explore, maybe, just maybe, we can delight in each other, too, enjoying a connection we may have given up too quickly otherwise.

I am thankful I still have 274 pages left to read of Kimmerer’s wise journey with plants in our natural world.

I wonder what else may be just around the corner if I continue hanging on for a few more pages.

And a few more after that.

How do you decide on a book that begins slowly? Do you give up quickly? Hang on too long?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Shift is my One Word for 2026. I’ve discovered it in some of the oddest places. As with this book, sometimes the the problem isn’t in the pages—or in a person—but in the pace I’m bringing to the encounter. A small shift in my approach has sometimes made all the difference.

Every journey has a starting point. Then come steps forward, backward, and sideways. We may never see the final ending point of anyone else’s journey.

We are all on a unique journey of our our own. Life is a work in progress for each of us.

For Week 2 of Nonfiction November, we’re sharing books that reflect a journey for their authors, readers, or both. I’m sharing 8 favorite memoirs that I read this year. Visit more blog linkups at Volatile Rune.

[See Nonfiction November Week 1: 5 Themes That Captured My Attention]

8 Favorite Memoirs

# 1-3 The first three memoirs are by celebrities: an actor best known as The Fonz, the singer who danced on the ceiling “All Night Long,” and a lovely and beloved First Lady of the United States.

Although their destinations may be places we’ll never arrive, their journeys have stopping points along the way that we can relate to.

• Being Henry
  The Fonz . . . and Beyond
  by Henry Winkler
• Truly
  An Inspirational Journey Through the Life of a Musical Legend
  by Lionel Richie
• The Look
  by Michelle Obama

# 4-5 The next two memoirs are by humorous yet poignant storytellers. And interestingly, their own journeys have now merged together into a special relationship.

I actually got to hear both of these authors in person this year on their book tours. Both were so personable, engaging, and kind human beings.

• Awake
  A Memoir
  by Jen Hatmaker
• This Changes Everything
  A Surprisingly Funny Story About Race, Cancer, Faith, and Other Things We Don’t Talk About
  by Tyler Merritt

# 6-8 The final three are by authors who have been marginalized, displaced, or victimized. They each write about the challenges they met and eventually overcome. Inspiring!

• Dear America
  Notes of an Undocumented Citizen
  by Jose Antonio Vargas
• Brown Girl Dreaming
  by Jacqueline Woodson
• I Belong to Me
  A Survivor’s Guide to Recovery and Hope after Religious Trauma
  by Tia Levings

Each of these authors tells their amazing journeys with courage and clarity, through both the ups and the downs. Their stories remind us that life is never a straight path for anybody.

I highly recommend all 8.

What nonfiction journeys or memoirs have you loved this year? Please share in the comments.

“Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.”
— Louis L’Amour

What are we humans made of? We’re each shaped by our beliefs, our experiences, our blind spots, our values, our strengths, our weaknesses, and so much more.

These six books I just finished reading each touch on different possibilities of what it means to live here as a human being—in years past, today, and in years to come.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Live Laugh Love
The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made
by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

Du Mez is a historian so she did deep research on a lot of well-known Christian women in the U.S. Some of the things she found didn’t surprise me, and some did. For better and for worse. Overall, the book shares the the role that white Christian women played in shaping American culture and religion (again, for better and for worse).

Sometimes Du Mez gets too involved in a story for my taste and I lose the overall theme, but she always comes back up for air eventually and catches the thread again. Overall, this is a very interesting book.

2. The Art of Resilience
100 Paths to Wisdom and Strength in an Uncertain World
by Carol Orsborn

Who wants more resilience? Yes, please.

One of my book clubs spent several months working through the short 100 reflections in this book on how we humans can more masterfully navigate uncertainty and challenges in life, both together and apart. It prompted many good Tuesday morning discussions. As usual, I gained more from the book by having conversations with other people about it versus simply reading it on my own.

3. Don’t Even Think About It
Why Our Brains Are Wired to Ignore Climate Change
by George Marshall

Why are humans so reluctant to accept that climate change is really happening when we have scientific proof and agreement about it right in front of us? And why can’t we convince each other to do more about it?

Marshall attempts to explain it. He explores several reasons why humans sometimes ignore obvious things we’re not ready to face. In many ways, I find this book terrifying. But I also find it hopeful—if we’ll take action sooner rather than later.

4. Damned If She Does
Why Women Quit Church and What It Means for the Future of Religion
by Sarah Stankorb

I met this author two months ago in a small group setting, and she was very kind to me. So I admit my bias was set before I began the book.

But I think I would have appreciated the book even if I hadn’t met Stankorb. She did some amazing journalistic research to uncover why many women have been leaving organized religion. This book is somewhat similar to Live Laugh Love (see above), but Stankorb’s writing style was easier for me to follow.

FICTION

5. The Midnight Train
by Matt Haig

What if your older self could go back in time to meet your younger self? What advice would you give? What would you be tempted to change?

Haig sets up an interesting plot line where 81-year-old Wilbur gets on board a magical train that takes him back in time. A very intriguing premise and very well written by Haig. It made me ask myself, What would I change in my past, if given the chance? And what could I do differently now, given what I know now?

6. The Great Rift
by Brian D. McLaren

This is book two of  McLaren’s The Last Voyage science fiction trilogy. It’s set in the future when humans have to escape the chaos of Earth to start a colony on Mars. What inherent problems do they take with them and which ones can they leave behind?

McLaren has a beautiful way of blending action to keep the plot moving forward while also allowing breathing space for his characters to talk about the big philosophical questions about what it means to live a good life as a human. I enjoyed this second novel even more than the first one. I’ll look forward to book three coming out in late spring of 2027, hopefully.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

• Culpability
  by Bruce Holsinger
• Inside: Voices from Death Row
  by Michael J. Braxton
• Man in the Mirror
  Hope, Struggle, and Belonging in an American City
  by Anand Giridharadas
• Braiding Sweetgrass
  Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants
  by Robin Wall Kimmerer
• Bridge to Terabithia
  by Katherine Paterson

Whether we’re looking back at our history or imaging ahead to our future, books help us wrestle with important questions about who we are and who we want to be. They help us think more deeply and live more intentionally than we might without them.

I hope we’ll always be a people who read, learn, and grow together.

What’s a good book you’ve read lately? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m sharing at some of these linkups

For every 10 books I’ve read this year, 8 have been nonfiction.

While I do love a good novel (and I usually keep one going at all times), nonfiction monopolizes my reading hours. It works for me.

For Week 1 of this year’s Nonfiction November, I’m sharing five (unplanned) themes that captured my attention in my reading this year. I’ll include 3 books I loved in each category. (I’m excluding memoirs this week—they’ll get their own post on November 9.)

To see other participants’ favorite nonfiction books or to link up your own, visit Heather at Based on a True Story.

#5 RELATIONSHIPS & CONNECTION

Relationships are complicated, yes? Three of my favorite books from this category are about how to receive love from those who are offering it, how to navigate meaningful relationships in our lives, and how to manage conflicts that inevitably arise along the way.

• How to Feel Loved
  The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most
  by Sonja Lyubomirsky
• What Matters Most
  Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living
  by Diane Button
• Why Won’t You Apologize?
  Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
  by Harriet Lerner

#4 MEANING & SPIRITUALITY

I’m always been drawn to the big questions of life: our inner and outer selves, meaning, and purpose. I like books that encourage me to examine what I believe while remaining open to hearing how other people’s perspectives guide them.

• The Inner Work of Age
  Shifting from Role to Soul
  by Connie Zweig
• How We Learn to Be Brave
  Decisive Moments in Life and Faith
  by Mariann Edgar Budde
• Live Laugh Love
  The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made
  by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

#3 JUSTICE & THE DEATH PENALTY

This is the heaviest category on my list and one that I didn’t set out to explore. That changed when I joined an organization that advocates for alternatives to the death penalty—and I discovered they have a book club.

This is not a comfortable category, but it matters to me to listen to the voices of people whose lives have been very different from mine, yet who are still human, just like me. These books remind me we’re more alike than we realize.

• The Deliverance of Hope
  The Spiritual Discipline of Writing People on Death Row
  by Wendy Ramage and Jeff Hood
• Secrets of the Killing State
  The Untold Story of Lethal Injection
  by Corinna Barrett Lain
• Inside
  Voices from Death Row
  by Michael Braxton, Lyle May, Terry Robinson, and George Wilkerson

#2 POLITICS & DIVISION

I don’t read to get frustrated, but that happens sometimes when I read to understand more about politics. These books, however, were about finding better ways to engage with people on both sides of the aisles. I learned so much, and didn’t get frustrated. A double win!

• Don’t Think of an Elephant!
  Know Your Values and Frame the Debate
  by George Lakoff
• Nations Apart
  How Clashing Regional Cultures Shattered America
  by Colin Woodard
• Beyond the Politics of Contempt
  Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times
  by Doug Teschner, Beth Malow, and Becky Robinson

#1 THE HUMAN PSYCHE

Actually, there’s a bit of psychology in all these categories. But these three books specifically about the human psyche were absolutely fascinating to me. (You may see these three again when I share my Top 10 Books of 2026.)

• The Extinction of Experience
  Being Human in a Disembodied World
  by Christine Rosen
• Psychobabble
  Viral Mental Health Myths & the Truths to Set You Free
  by Joe Nucci
• Beyond Belief
  The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results
  by Nir Eyal

What My Book Choices Say About My Year

The common thread I see in all five categories is people: how we relate to one another, govern one another, punish one another, love one another, and make sense of ourselves and the world around us.

I find us human beings so fascinating. There’s always more to understand, more to question, and more to explore.

What nonfiction subjects captured your attention this year? Any surprises?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Near the end of every month I share 4 somethings and I link up with Jenn:

• Something I loved
• Something sustaining me
• Something carrying me forward into the next month
• Something I’m making space for this month

I also share my One Second Everyday video from the previous month.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

1. Something I Love

• A RAINY DAY AT THE BEACH? ARCADE! 

Our family beach trips usually center around the ocean, the beach, and the swimming pool. But this year, on a rainy Tuesday, we spent the afternoon at an arcade instead.

It was so much fun watching our little guy play old-school pinball games and new, techy video games. Sometimes a change of plans might turn into a highlight of a trip!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

2. Something Sustaining Me

• MAKING A SMALL DIFFERENCE

Politics can be draining. But I know how important it is to stay engaged when possible. Last week, I enjoyed spending time with some friends writing postcards to encourage people to get out and vote on November 3.

One on one, we may not have much influence over the kind of government we get, but together, we can make a difference.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

3. Something Carrying Me Forward

• A NEW DRYER (AND A GREAT DEAL!)

I was drying the third load of laundry from our beach trip when I realized the dryer had been running a long time. I checked the clothes. Still wet. I reset it to run again, but . . . nothing.

It was done. The end.

Jeff tried to fix it, but no luck. After working flawlessly for decades, our old Kenmore dryer had dried its last load of clothes. Our neighbor graciously let me finish drying my clothes in his dryer.

The next day, we went to our local Lowe’s Outlet, a scratch-and-dent store for appliances with small imperfections at discounted prices. We found a new dryer at a great price, and it’s been working wonderfully.

Here’s hoping this dryer lasts for decades, too!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

4. Something I’m Making Space For

• SERVING AT THE POLLS

Jeff and I were selected again this election cycle to serve as poll workers for our local precinct. Tonight we’re required to attend election training so we can show up early Tuesday morning, ready to work.

Alabama is one of just three states that doesn’t offer early voting. Mississippi and New Hampshire are the other two. (You can submit an absentee ballot in Alabama if you meet the criteria for an allowable excuse.)

I hope one day Alabama will expand our voting options like the rest of the country so more people have opportunities for their voices to be heard.

Thanks for joining me for this month’s Share 4 Somethings. What’s something unique about your month? Share in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Will you be choosing One Word of the Year for 2027?

If you’re considering choosing a word to focus on in the coming year, now is a good time to be listening for the right word for you. Consider playing with one or more of these 6 AI prompts to choose your word.

Over the next few weeks, pay attention to words that catch your attention, to themes that keep resurfacing, or to questions you’ve been wanting to explore more deeply.

Sometimes a word arrives as a quick surprise. Other times, it takes some noticing before you see it.

Get curious about what might be emerging right around the corner.

Five Questions to Help You Discover Your Next Word

Here are five questions to get you thinking about your One Word for 2027.

1. How did my 2026 word help me most?

What did it bring to my attention? What did I learn about myself? Is there something from this year’s word that I want to carry forward?

My word Shift brought my attention to how everything changes, such as, how much sunlight we get in a day, how quickly I still lose patience with my own mistakes, and how I may have grown a tad more tolerant of  the discomfort of uncertainty.

Going forward, I want to keep noticing what change asks of me, and be as open as I can to changes yet to come.

2. Am I looking for something different next year?

Was my 2026 word too heavy, too light, or just right for the season I was in? What might I need from a new word?

Shift was a great word for me for 2026. But it sometimes felt a little heavy. I don’t always want to notice how everything changes. Sometimes, it’s just sad.

Next year, I’d like to broaden my focus to include ways of living with change, without the word feeling too demanding.

3. What recurring words or issues keep catching my attention?

Is there a word that keeps showing up in conversations, books, or my own thoughts? Is a particular question or challenge asking for more of my attention?

I have noticed a recurring theme. I’ve been circling it, trying to dig down to its roots. I think it might help me be more accepting of shifts I noticed this year.

4. What would I like less of in 2027?

Is there something I’m ready to release, change, or stop giving so much energy to? What might I be ready to leave behind?

I would like less rumination. I tend to overthink. My mind can get trapped in some of the same ruts again and again. I’d like to bring less pressure on myself to figure everything out, and learn to sit more comfortably with the unknown (Hello, 2021 word, Uncertainty!).

5. What do I want more of in my life in 2027?

More courage? More connection? More quiet? More adventure? Think beyond specific words and consider the qualities or experiences you’d like to welcome into your life.

I’d like to focus more on presence. It’s a consistent quest I have, year after year. I’m not claiming I’ve made much progress, but maybe some.

With more presence comes more connection, more curiosity, more calmness, etc. The word I’m thinking about for 2027 (which is not Presence, but that would be a good one!) might help me move in that direction.

You don’t need to answer every question or settle on the perfect word today. Just think of these as starting points to help you notice what’s stirring.

An Extra Reflection: Look Back to Look Ahead

Take a few minutes to list your past One Words in order. Do you see a connection or theme running through them? Did one word lead to the next? Is there a lesson still unfinished that you want to keep exploring?

For me, looking back at my last few words, I can see how each year’s word has led somewhat to the next, even though none were consciously chosen that way.

Watching how my life continues to unfold in unexpected ways is teaching me less about the specific changes themselves and more about my capacity to live with them.

Sometimes our next word bubbles up from a previous one. Other times, it takes us in a completely new direction.

Either way, let the possibilities simmer as you go about your everyday life. You may discover that your 2027 word has already begun making itself known. 

This linkup is open through November 9.

Upcoming: Our November monthly linkup will open a day early on Wednesday, November 25, instead of November 26 (U.S. Thanksgiving). 

Question for you:

Do you already have hints for a One Word for 2027? Share your thoughts in the comments. 

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here.

• • Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word

As humans, we have a longing to connect. To family, to groups, and to a larger community.

But what do we do when these connections become sources of conflict? Do we stay if it means we lose a piece of ourselves? What do we do when we want to stay connected but the other person doesn’t?

Relationships are complicated.

I’ve recently finished reading three books that address these questions from different perspectives. One explores why women are leaving church. Another looks at family estrangement through a specific lens. The third offers practical ways to navigate conflict within groups.

The three books don’t agree on everything. And I don’t agree with everything in any one of them.

But together, I find an interesting thread among them about the hard choices we often have to make about belonging.

1. DAMNED IF SHE DOES
Why Women Quit Church and What It Means for the Future of Religion
by Sarah Stankorb

Why are more women leaving churches that once gave them identity, community, and spiritual meaning?

In Damned If She Does, journalist Sarah Stankorb shares what she learned about the reasons many Christian women are walking away from organized religion.

Combining her interviews with hundreds of women and her own lived experiences, Stankorb details stories and statistics about abuse by church leaders and institutional cover-ups, restrictions on women’s roles in the church and expectations in the family, exclusion of LGBTQ people, Christian nationalism, and other sources of disillusionment.

Stankorb doesn’t reduce their decisions to leave on single isolated incidents. She retains the complexity of the situations they faced in choosing to walk away.

For some women, leaving creates space needed to reconnect with themselves—to examine what they believe and what they value.

But even when leaving was their choice, it still came with great costs. Many of the women also lost friendships, family connections, spiritual frameworks, and a sense of their own identity.

Stankorb’s book allows space for the tension between a woman’s decision to stay or leave and a church’s decision to remain as it is or change. In this time when many people are deconstructing their faith, I find the tension presented here to be particularly thought-provoking.

2. NO CONTACT
How a Seductive Ideology Broke Families and Friendships and How We Can Repair Them
by Noelle Mering

Family estrangement is another complicated phenomenon.

Mering, a fellow at a Washington, D.C.-based think tank, writes about modern estrangement between parents and adult children, specifically cases not based on abuse, but from:

“the ordinary parental failings that, in previous generations, would have been absorbed or forgiven rather than collected, catalogued, and marshaled retroactively to support a narrative of childhood harm.”

She argues that today’s ideological divisions are the source of many estrangements. She says the three most common ideological reasons fall into roughly three categories: disagreement over Covid policy, voting for Donald Trump, and gender ideology (no sources are cited for this list).

While she often provides interesting insights, such as “disagreeing well is civilizing,” her analysis frequently places the blame on liberalism. I found this approach to be polarizing itself.

She fails to give sufficient attention to other causes that may contribute to a child going no contact outside of abuse, such as the lack of desire or communication skills to navigate disagreement, the heavy influence of a partner or other third-party, or mental health struggles or addiction affecting either the adult child or the parent.

I also questioned her advice on negotiating a reconciliation based on the parents finding the right words. That assumption negates the premise of her title, No Contact. No contact typically means all communication has been severed. Even if a parent had the perfect words, it wouldn’t matter if the adult child has chosen not to hear them.

I wish Mering had spent less time defending her political perspective and more time exploring how people can have discussions even when they disagree. To me, her judgment of one side of the divide doesn’t seem helpful in guiding families toward making peace despite their differences.

3. THE ART OF FIGHTING
The Transformative Power of Conflict
by Priya Parker

What if conflict in a group isn’t necessarily a sign that the group is failing? Parker writes that learning to face conflict instead of avoiding it can forge meaningful human connections.

“If you want to be more connected to the people in your life, fight more. And learn the art of doing it well.”

In The Art of Fighting, Parker says we haven’t developed enough tools for working through conflict as a group. So she offers many real-life examples and lots of practical suggestions:

• ask “dumb questions” to better understand other people’s perspectives
• normalize saying “ouch” when something hurts
• make quick mini-repairs more often within the group
• talk things out face-to-face rather than relying on digital communication

Also, keep asking, “What is the group’s actual need?”

Sometimes it’s worth learning to fight well enough to stay together.

But Parker also says that not every conflict can be resolved. She points out that groups have life cycles, and sometimes they reach a natural end. Acknowledge it. Rather than slowly fading away or ghosting one another, she encourages groups to recognize and verbalize when it’s time to close a chapter.

Easier said than done, but healthy connections sometime mean letting go instead of trying to preserve a group when it no longer makes sense.

My Takeaway

I appreciate that each book helped me see from three different angles that the struggle to connect can be worth our effort. And that disconnection doesn’t automatically equal failure.

Whether we’re connecting with ourselves, with a group, or learning that connection isn’t possible, the books also shows that there is no easy formula for any of this. Relationships aren’t simple.

The harder work may be recognizing what is needed when: when to stay and work through the conflict and when to leave.

What helps you decide when a relationship or group is worth fighting for—and when it’s time to let go? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks to NetGalley for the review copies of these books

I keep fretting about a mistake I made.

It’s 10:00 Sunday night. I’m already in bed. But I need to check my email just one more time. I pull my phone off my nightstand and tap the envelope icon.

Still no response from Google.

My problem started exactly 2 weeks ago when I’d signed up for a Google workspace account for a nonprofit disaster response group I volunteer with. There were a few hoops to jump through, but after reviewing my information for several days, Google approved our nonprofit status.

I set up our new email accounts and added them to our website. Everything was connected and worked great.

Until Sunday night around 8:00.

That’s when I receive the latest email from Google. They are letting me know that my 2-week trial period has expired. I can no longer log into our account.

What? I was in a 2-week trial period? I thought I was in for good.

I panic. I send a test email from my personal account to the new nonprofit address.

Delivery failed. Address not found.

I log into Google from a different account. I click the Help button. The answer? Start the whole process over. In 3-7 days, I’ll be notified whether our nonprofit is approved (again).

But what if someone needs us between now and then? Their email won’t go through.

I send a message to Google and hope it will land in the right inbox.

Still Nothing

At 10:10, I check my email again. Still no response. Nothing about my problem. Nothing about our approval.

I start wondering where I’d gone wrong. I had been distracted the past few weeks with many projects, including getting everything done quickly so I could take a week off and be fully present with my family at the beach. (Which, for the most part, I did.)

But I see that in my haste, I must have overlooked the “2-week trial” caveat I had signed up for. To make the account permanent, I needed to finish another registration page that I never went to.

And now I am paying the price for rushing.

A Monday Morning Shift

It’s Monday morning. 6:05.

Still nothing from Google.

I try to get curious about why this is bothering me so much. It’s not as if the nonprofit would be getting a lot of email in the next few days anyway. Or possibly any email.

But we are about to send a team to Florida to help with Hurricane Isaias cleanup, and someone might have a question. Our email is published on our website. And now the email account doesn’t work.

I eat breakfast and go for a walk. That’s when it hits me.

My word of the year is Shift, and my focus for October is starting over. The times that we have to go back to the beginning. Do something again because the first time didn’t work out.

It’s time for a redo.

I need to slow down. That was my focus last February: shift the pace. Intentionally move from one speed I want to go—quick!—to a slower gear. To be more present. To breathe more deeply. And to notice more details (like “2-week trial”).

Finding Relief

9:59 Monday morning. I check my email again.

Ahh, there it is. A mere 14 hours later, I receive the magic message from Google for Nonprofits informing me I have access again. I check our accounts. Everything is there.

Our information has been restored.

So has my peace.

But I want to continue the redo of February. Keep the shift in pace.

Slowing down won’t keep me from making mistakes. I’ll still overlook things, miss some important details, and need to redo some things altogether from time to time.

But maybe my peace won’t shift so drastically when those things happen.

Because sometimes going faster doesn’t mean you get more done. It just means more of you gets taken away.

And that’s a shift I want to avoid.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

“Writing is, in the end, that oddest of anomalies: an intimate letter to a stranger.”
— Pico Iyer

The seven books I finished reading this past month turned out to be a wonderfully eclectic grouping—grief, conflict, writing, politics, executions, identity, and whether we really need all that new stuff we’re tempted to buy or consume.

Maybe you’ll find one or two here that also interests you.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Saying No to New
Why New Things Are Stealing Your Time, Money, and Happiness―and How to Take Back Your Life
by Eric Athas

I’m not a big spender or trend follower, but I still needed this book to remind me of the importance of keeping our cravings for anything “new” to a minimum, for all kinds of reasons. Chasing new things can be so draining—of time, money, attention. (Including chasing new books??? Uh-oh)

Learning to be satisfied with what we already have can be its own gift.

2. The Geography of Loss
Embrace What Is, Honor What Was, Love What Will Be
by Patti Digh

This is a sad and beautiful and hopeful book, all at the same time. I received it as a gift from my dear friend Lynn, who is experiencing the loss of her dear mother.

The book explores grief and loss in many forms and circumstances, helping the reader map the new territory of life after loss. The illustrations are just as engaging as the words.

3. The Art of Fighting
The Transformative Power of Conflict
by Priya Parker

Instead of avoiding conflict, Parker encourages us to dive into it. Not to “fight” per se, but to process what matters to us. She writes mainly about group conflicts, a topic we don’t hear much about (we usually read about personal conflicts). She has so many poignant insights on the advantages of addressing differences up front versus running away from them.

I heard her speak in my city a couple weeks ago and saw how passionate she is about this topic. One of my book clubs will start this book soon, taking one chapter at a time. I’m looking forward to what we’ll pull out of it together.

4. Closing the Slaughterhouse
The Inside Story of Death Penalty Abolition in Virginia
by Dale M. Brumfield

This is both a gruesome book and a light in the dark. Brumfield goes in-depth about how Virginia went from being a strong death penalty state to one that abolished it altogether. He tells lots of stories of how that change finally came about.

I participated in an online book club with Brumfield about his book and learned even more. He shared:

• how a death penalty sentence costs taxpayers 3-5x more than a sentence of life without parole
• how 1 prisoner is eventually exonerated of their crime for every 8 prisoners who have been executed
• how death penalty sentencing has been racially biased
• how we do have options instead of state killings, such as life without parole

One takeaway for me: the more I learn about the death penalty, the more I want to see it abolished everywhere.

5. Don’t Think of an Elephant!
Know Your Values and Frame the Debate
by George Lakoff

Such an enlightening book! Lakoff explains that how we frame political positions can shape the decisions we make about them.

For example, he claims that most conservatives prefer our nation follow a strict father model, whereas most liberals prefer a nurturing parent model. Each framing ripples out to become different positions on all kinds of issues.

Wherever you fall on the political spectrum, you’ll learn something about yourself and the “other side” in this book, hopefully bringing us more together than further apart.

6. Good Writing
36 Ways to Improve Your Sentences
by Neal Allen, Anne Lamott

I love this little book. So fun! Author Neal Allen gives 36 concise lessons for making sentences clearer, stronger, and more engaging, followed at the end of each chapter with a short take on the rule by his wife and writer Anne Lamott (who I especially love).

It is full of practical writing tips, but also of wit and wisdom.

7. Brown Girl Dreaming
by Jacqueline Woodson

For several chapters, I thought this was a novel because it reads like one. But it eventually dawned on me that Woodson was writing about her own childhood growing up as a Black girl in South Carolina and New York during the 1960s and 1970s.

Each chapter is short and written in beautiful verse. It opens you to seeing the world through her eyes. . . and into her love of words.

FICTION

I didn’t finish a single novel this month.

Well, I did start one that I gave up on (see below) . . . and I currently have two in progress.

DID NOT FINISH

Project Hail Mary
by Andy Weir

I liked the movie (for the most part), but I just couldn’t get into the book. It was way too technical for me. Usually I read the book before I see its movie version (and I always prefer the book), but I did this set in reverse. Maybe that played a part in not liking the book as much?

WHAT I’M READING NOW

• The Midnight Train
  by Matt Haig
• The Great Rift
  by Brian D. McLaren
• Live Laugh Love
  The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made
  by Kristin Kobes DuMez
• Damned If She Does
  Why Women Quit Church and What It Means for the Future of Religion
  by Sarah Stankorb

What’s a good book you’ve read lately? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m sharing at some of these linkups

• Books, Bugs, and Behind-the-Scenes Work—Share 4 Somethings August 2026 (9/30)
  A monthly reflection on unexpected bugs, meaningful book clubs, meeting authors, and the behind-the-scenes work that helps things happen.
• Maybe There’s Still More to Learn? {One Word 2026 September Linkup} (9/26)
  What if there’s more to learn about something you think you already know? Try curiosity, fresh eyes, and a little exploration to discover something new.
• When You Sit at the Wrong Table (9/23)
  Sometimes we end up at the wrong table—and staying put isn’t always the polite or right thing to do. A reflection on knowing when to leave.
• What I Left Beneath Two Trees (9/16)
  A reflective story about planting two trees, letting go, embracing change, and finding a small shift in the direction I’m going.
• Don’t Take This Personally (9/9)
  Do we make too much of life about us? Everyone is the star in their own movie. Don’t take it personally.
• 7 Books I Recommend for September: Courage, Aging, AI, and More (9/4)
  Looking for your next great read? Here are 7 September book recommendations covering courage, aging, AI, anxiety, book bans, mindset, and fiction.

See previous months’ archives here