Do You Say Thank You to AI? The Bots Are Listening
“We focus our anxieties on the wrong target. . . It is too soon to worry about computer chips implanted in our brains. People should instead worry about the smartphones on which they read these conspiracy theories.”
– Yuval Noah Harari
How Polite Are You to AI?
Do you ever follow up with a “Thank you” to AI? I often feel compelled to do it out of habit—and then realize it’s a little silly to be polite to a computer.
Plus, it’s expensive. Every time we ask AI to respond, it uses costly resources (I don’t quite understand it, but that’s what I read). Yet a 2024 survey found that 67% of AI users are courteous when interacting with AI either because they feel it’s morally imperative or to “hedge their bets in case of a future AI uprising.”
But the bigger question isn’t whether or not we should thank AI, but whether or not we should trust it.
What Nexus Reveals About Our Digital Lives
I just finished a fascinating book about artificial intelligence by Yuval Noah Harari, Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI. In the book, Harari asks us to question any digital system that is increasingly shaping every aspect of our lives.
Nexus is the kind of book that challenges you to pause and reflect on how deeply embedded computers have become in our lives—not just as tools, but as active participants in our social, political, and emotional networks.
As we’ve all likely noticed, algorithms now:
- Determine which news stories are available to us
- Choose which friends we see online
- Nudge us toward certain products
- Amplify or silence certain opinions
The book’s premise is clear:
“The computer network has become the nexus [important connecting link] of most human activities. In the middle of almost every financial, social, or political transaction, we now find a computer. Consequently, like Adam and Eve in paradise, we cannot hide from the eye in the clouds.”
From Controlling Attention to Controlling Intimacy
Unlike previous revolutions in communication—writing, printing, radio—AI is not just another medium. It has its own intelligence; it has agency.
One of the most striking concepts Harari explores is the idea that we now live in a world where computers can create, manipulate, and impersonate intimacy.
In the 2010s, social media fought to control our attention. But now, Harari argues, the 2020s are about controlling our intimacy. What happens when bots begin making emotional connections—albeit fake ones—that influence how we vote, shop, or even understand ourselves?
Harari isn’t an alarmist about it, but he does tell us we need to get morally clear about this while we still have the ability to shape the future. He writes:
“We humans are still in control. We don’t know for how long, but we still have the power to shape these new realities.”
Rewriting Democracy’s Operating System
But that power comes with a cost: we need to deeply understand politics, society, and culture—not just technology. When we write code, we are, in effect, rewriting the operating system of democracy and human relationships.
As I read Nexus, I kept returning to my own questions that are both personal and political:
- How much information do I put online?
- And does it even matter anymore, if the system already knows everything about me anyway?
I didn’t get comforting reassurances from Harari. Instead, he reminded me we’ve already transitioned from a world where privacy was the default to one where surveillance is constant and often invisible.
Even more chilling is the idea that we are no longer just being observed—we are being reshaped. He says that algorithms, like children, learn from their environments. But unlike children, they never sleep, never forget, and may soon outperform us in areas we once believed were uniquely human—like recognizing emotion.
Harari writes,
“We yearn to be understood, but other humans often fail . . . because they are too preoccupied with their own feelings.”
But computers, devoid of their own emotional baggage, aren’t as easily distracted from giving us their full attention. They have the potential to become better at understanding us than we are at understanding each other.
Connection, Not Control
Yet this isn’t a book that dismisses humanity. Rather, it’s a powerful reminder that our shared humanity is something we must actively defend—especially through democratic principles.
Harari calls for systems that are:
- Benevolent
- Decentralized
- Based on mutual surveillance—where governments and corporations are watched just as closely as individuals.
In a world where trust in institutions is fading, Harari insists that self-correcting mechanisms—like independent media, academia, and the judiciary—are essential not just for truth but for the survival of democracy itself.
A line I keep returning to is:
“Information sometimes represents reality, and sometimes doesn’t. But it always connects.”
In the end, Nexus isn’t just about data or devices. It’s about connection—real and fake, healthy and manipulative, human and machine. It left me reflecting on how much of what I “know” comes from systems I didn’t build and can’t fully explain. We say “do your own research,” but Harari reminds us: we can’t survive alone. Trust is a collective act. And building trustworthy systems—ones that admit their flaws and evolve—may be our greatest challenge.
So yes, maybe I’ll keep saying thank you to AI. But more importantly, I’ll keep asking who’s behind the answer—and what they want me to believe.
—
Now, what if I told you that AI wrote this blog post you just read, up to this point anyway?
Well, it’s partially true. I fed AI my main takeaways from the book and key quotes I marked, then asked AI to turn it into prose. I took what it gave me, then did some major tweaking to make it my own.
But still . . . who now is the true author of this post? It was a collaboration between human and computer.
I don’t know if I should be excited about it. Or terrified.
Either way, it’s not a practice that feels authentic to me, so while I’ll continue asking AI for help on many tasks—including editing, I don’t want it to do my writing for me. Even if it can do it better.
Some tasks I’m just not ready to hand over yet to AI, thank you very much.
What do you use AI for? Share your thoughts in the comments.
My thanks to NetGalley and Random
House for the review copy of Nexus
I find the entire AI world extremely disturbing and frightening, Lisa, but I know it is here among us, so we need to get ahead of the curve while we still can. My most alarming experiences have been when I’ll be discussing a topic with my husband, and my phone seems to “hear” us. The next thing I know, I’ll see ads for whatever it is we were talking about. That is scary and an invasion of privacy. It would behoove us all to read this book. Thank you!
I agree with you, Martha. AI is somewhat disturbing to me, too. But yes, like it or not, it’s here. I just hope that humans can keep things under control. (I don’t like when my phone listens to me either!)
I’ve read a couple of Hariri’s previous books which were excellent. Nexus is high on my TBR list. Thanks for this review — it gets me even more interested in the book. And congratulations on experimenting with AI tools too. Even if you don’t use them often, or ever again, I’ve found it’s really eye-opening to get first hand experience with what they’re capable of.
I’m guessing you’ll like Nexus, too, Harry. There was a good chunk of history in the book as well as info on AI, but it was relevant to the overall conversation. I continue to experiment with AI, but I find that I’m just doing the same things again and again, and I need to learn some new challenges for it. 🙂
Thank you for this very informative post Lisa.
I can edit anyone’s posts except my own, so I currently use AI to check the mechanical correctness of my posts. And I always say ‘thank you’ — 100% of the time!
I’m like you, Donna–it’s hardest to edit my own writing because I already know what I’m trying to say and miss my blindspots. AI is great to edit our writings; I appreciate it for that, too! I don’t always say thanks to it, but it has always been very polite to me (so far anyway! ha).
I listened to an interview with Harai recorded in Toronto shortly after he published Nexus. I did take out Nexus from the library, but, must admit, I only read parts of it. I recently read a great post by Anne Handley (Everybody Writes) on how to approach AI as a tool, not the creator itself. And like any tool, it’s important to know how to handle it properly or else you are left with a mess! I use AI for ideas from time to time, but still using my CMOS and other manuals for editing questions. 🙂
I’ll have to chase down some of Harari’s interviews. I like hearing the author’s voice (and seeing them too if I can find a video). It adds to the book. I’d also like to read the post you mentioned by Anne Handley. I’ll google to see if I can find it! Thanks, Lynn.
wow this sound uncomfortable yet interesting to read. Your words controlling and manipulative hit the mark. I think I will check this one out and be stretch….
You nailed it, Jean: this book is uncomfortable yet interesting. That’s how I feel about AI in general! 🙂
What an interesting coffee blog post, Lisa. I find it unsettling when I discuss something with a human (my phone is present) and afterwards, my phone has ads for whatever the discussion is about. It happened recently after a conversation about needing new glasses.
I hadn’t heard of Harari. I will have to look up his books.
I’m with you…I don’t like seeing ads for things I’ve talked about. It feels creepy. My husband and I intentionally talked about a product one day that was not something we would ordinarily buy, just to see if our phones would start showing us ads. And they didn’t! I was shocked. ha. Because ordinarily they do. I guess the algorithm knew we were playing games with it. ha. We couldn’t outsmart it. 😉
I’ve always wondered about the environmental impact of computer use in general. And now there’s AI. “…it was estimated that GPT-3 consumes the equivalent of a 500ml bottle of water for every 10 to 50 responses…” and that’s after the cost of creation: “…this analyzation process took an estimated 3.4 GWh over 2 months…the yearly energy consumption of 300 American households.” from AI’s Addiction to Energy, Carime Lane, in Alive, Issue 505, Nov, 2024. We exchange one thing for another. We need to pay attention to what we’re willing to sacrifice.
You’re so right, Mona. The environmental impact of AI is bad; it’s an energy hog. And depending on the source of that energy, we are worsening our already bad climate crisis. It bothers me. And I feel a little guilty every time I ask ChatGPT a question. That’s one reason I’m at least trying to stop responding to AI after I’m finished with a project; I don’t need to send it an expensive “thank you.” It’s too costly!
Oh I so agree with Martha, I too have had this experience with my mobile phone ‘listening’ & it is very disturbing indeed!
I don’t use AI (not even for editing my posts) other then when it appears at the top of a google search…to me it’s the old saying that ‘the cat is already out of the bag’ we need to get control back.
Great post Lisa, a book I’ll definitely be reading.
Blessings, Jennifer
I don’t like the creepy listening-in either, Jennifer! I know it’s a common thing, and I’m not happy about it. 🙁
It’s interesting to read how bloggers have used AI. It’s not necessary for me to use AI to generate blog posts or photos so I don’t. Some AI tasks are energy hogs that contribute to more climate changes. Thank you for your weekend coffee share.
Definitely, Natalie. Because AI is such an energy hog, I find it interesting for Sam Altman (OpenAI CEO) to say that despite it costing so much money in electricity costs for people to be polite to AI [and I’ll add, also at great cost to our climate!] that it is “tens of millions of dollars well spent.” No thank you to that. It’ll be interested to see how it plays out over the next few years.
Lisa, hi. I’ve had little to do with AI. I know it’s on the scene but I admit to being more than a bit suspicious. As always, I like the tried and true and venturing out of my comfort zone is not something I do easily. I am wary and not all that happy about all the ways that technology is oozing into our lives, stealing our creativity, invading our spaces.
Anyway … happy weekend to you, friend!
I hear you, Linda. I dabble with AI, but as a supplement to fine-tune things I’ve already done. I totally understand why artists, writers, creators, etc., are up in arms about what AI has the potential to do to our creative work. It is disturbing indeed.
I have friends who are very reliant on AI to the point where they don’t need to hire a consultant or lawyer. I am little disturbed by that because I know AI has the ability to hallucinate and say a bunch of nonsense. I don’t like AI doing art because I realized art is enjoyed because it’s created by people. I want to admire talented people as someone I can aspire to, not to some AI…but then, I have to admit, I’ve used AI myself. I do see it as a creative partner asking me feedback for little things but not as a replacement to do ALL my things.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Julie. I’ve been looking over a book on AI and it, too, mentioned the hallucinations of AI (I’d never heard that until you mentioned it!). It definitely still has flaws and we need to stay aware of that. I’m conflicted, too, about its ability to create art; I’d much rather see art created by humans too–even if it’s not “perfect.” I hope AI’s creators will continue to wrestle with it on many levels!
So interesting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so thoroughly. I might need to look into this one for information/learning sake. I rarely use AI, ChatGPT, though I have found it useful and interesting. I was just telling my husband on our drive somewhere the other day that while we are always hearing about the negatives of technology, that it was pretty cool to see something, go, I wonder what that is, and immediately just look it up and talk about it.
I hear you, Kirstin. I’m making a concerted effort to learn more about AI this year but it’s quite overwhelming on multiple levels. I use ChatGPT some for editing, but haven’t found many other uses for it yet. (However, I remember when personal computers first came out, and I distinctly said, “I don’t need one of those things at home!” haha. Now I can’t live without it.) We did plan a vacation using AI, and it was very helpful. But also not totally accurate. I now know I should “trust but verify” with AI.
Lol, I’ve said thank you to AI to. And I’ve used it at times for blog posts when my thought gets stuck. I know what I want to say but I can’t get it out. I plug my thought or what I want to say into ai and like you said, there it is. And then I change things to make it my own, or just to start me out. Or when I want to look something up on Google and type the first letter and there pops up choices of what I was thinking without even saying anything out loud. I’m like FINE Google. Lol. Like anything I think ai can be used for good or bad. Bad is the scary part.
Thanks so much for sharing with Sweet Tea & Friends this month dear friend.
xo