Stingy or Generous? – Grace & Truth Linkup


Was I Listening?

I thought I was giving.

I was listening, after all. Okay, maybe I also was typing at the same time. And not looking up. And thinking of what I needed to do next.

But I got busted. Last week I started reading, You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy. She says,

“Listening is about the experience of being experienced. It’s when someone takes an interest in who you are and what you are doing.”

So I decided to listen more closely. Listening is my February mini-goal for my 2020 One Word: Linger. 

And I realized this: I had slipped (again) into lazy patterns of listening. I had become a stingy listener.

Best Way to Give

Last week I also read this post by Lois Flowers on giving generously, The Best Way to Give Anything. She reminds us that God gives generously to all and without complaining. 

Ouch. I was doubly convicted. Can I at least give generously with my ears, if nothing else?

So I’m paying better attention this month to how I listen, trying to let go of what I want to say next. I’m trying to close off that space in my brain that I hold open just for my pride, that says: What do I want to say after this person stops talking?

I’m contributing that space instead to the other person.

If I forget what I want to say before it’s my turn to speak, then so be it. That’s my sacrifice, my emptying of me, for the benefit of truly experiencing the person I’m with. They’re worth it.

Sometimes giving generously means giving up. 

I don’t want to be a stingy giver. Not with my attention. Or anything else. 

Our Featured Post

I encourage you to read Lois’s post, too. Maybe you give generously in one area, but are stingy in another. Listen for how God is speaking to you about being a generous giver.

Featured Writer Lois Flowers

Thanks for sharing, Lois! Here’s a button for your blog.

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Thanks to the women at Grace & Truth Link-Up for inviting me to co-host with them. This is my first week to host!

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
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LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
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18 thoughts on “Stingy or Generous? – Grace & Truth Linkup

  1. Linda Stoll

    Dear Lisa …
    Gosh, you are busy these days! I just wanted you to know that I’m giving the Friday link-up a whirl. It’s not a day that I’m usually online, but I am excited about you being a link-up hostess ’cause I know how you put your heart into everything you do.
    Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet lady …

  2. Theresa E Boedeker

    Congrats on being a host to Grace & Truth, Lisa! Love your thoughts on listening. And yes, sometimes that means forgetting what we want to say. That book is on my read list. After your thoughts I think I will be moving it on up my list.

    1. LisaNotes Post author

      Thanks, Theresa. I’m excited to be a host! I’ve been linking up with Grace & Truth for a long time so I appreciate the opportunity to do it from this side now.

      “You’re Not Listening” has really been good. I took me awhile to get it from my library, and now I discovered I can’t renew it so I must hurry and finish it this weekend. NIt feels wrong to be rushing through a book about slowing down to listen. 🙂

  3. BettieG

    “Sometimes giving generously means giving up. ” Amen. In this day and age of multiplied distractions, may I let go and be a better listener also. Thank you Lisa, for these good words. And congrats on being a host for Grace&Truth! May God Bless you here.

    1. LisaNotes Post author

      Thanks, Bettie. I was in conversations over the weekend and while trying to concentrate more on what others were saying, I totally lost my own train of thought. That was probably for the best. ha. If what we need to say is really important, I trust God will bring it back to mind.

  4. floyd

    Some years ago I decided that I needed to be a better listener. Since I have started doing better at it I find I enjoy most conversations a whole lot more.

    The kicker is when you really listen you have a genuine interest in the other person.

    A couple days ago I asked a nurse that I’ve seen three times if she and her husband got the issue with their neighbor resolved. She turned to me, eyes wide, shocked and pleased that someone had actually been listening to her.

    Here’s the payoff I didn’t contemplate; people immediately think of you as someone quite special and as a friend, not an acquaintance.

    God uses folks who truly listen.

    1. LisaNotes Post author

      I can imagine that nurse’s expression now. I know I am surprised if someone remembers a conversation I’ve had with them before. It can seem like such a small thing, but it really can make a difference in someone feeling loved. Thanks for sharing that, Floyd. I know God is using you as you interact with people every day.

    1. LisaNotes Post author

      Glad to point to Lois’s post, Barbara. I appreciate how we all learn from each other in the blogging world, in easy and hard ways at times. I know the internet brings LOTS of troubles with it, but God uses it for good and I’m grateful.

  5. Pingback: Laudable Linkage | Stray Thoughts

  6. Lois Flowers

    Lisa, why am I not surprised that you have given me yet another title to add to my list of books to read? 🙂 “You’re Not Listening” sounds like one that could really help me! Thanks again for sharing my post, and welcome to your new role as linkup hostess.

    1. LisaNotes Post author

      Thanks for giving us such great material to think about, Lois! I continue to think about your words as I try to listen more. I’ve noticed that it does “cost” me more attention to be a more generous listener, but it’s worth it. I finished “You’re Not Listening” over the weekend and give it a 5 star rating.

    1. LisaNotes Post author

      Thanks, Leanne. Yes, I’m hoping to get better at it in the second half of life too. It definitely presents us with new opportunities to experiment in different ways with what we have to give and who we give it to!

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