Lisa notes

I look at the list of things I want to accomplish today.

The list is too long. I know it when I see it. I’d love to get to each item today and spend ample time on each.

But it’s impossible.

So I remind myself of this mantra on an almost daily basis:

You don’t have to finish today.

I’m not a procrastinator by nature. I really do like to start AND finish things (I’m an Upholder, if you know about Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies quiz).

But if a project isn’t time-sensitive, while it may need finishing eventually, it rarely has to be finished today.

And there are things that NEVER have to be finished. We will leave life with unfinished business. 

So for now, take the pressure off yourself by saying it’s okay to stop for the day.

Even if it’s not complete.

Maybe not for everything. But for most things? It’s alright.

You don’t have to finish today.

Is it hard or easy for you to shut down for the day if you’re not finished? Share in the comments.

Read More:

• Create More Finish Lines
• How to Win Your Fight with Time
• Can You Meet the Expectation?

You are on Day #14 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

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“Focus on the highest good” {Mantra 13}

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“Oh, well. So what?” {Mantra 15}

Whether you’ll be attending an event today, or meeting with a group, or spending a day at home, what is your ultimate goal for today?

Not just the immediate, obvious goal. But the big one. The underlying goal more important than anything else.

Sometimes we don’t think about the larger goal. And thus miss it.

But with a little self-questioning and intention, we can:

Focus on the highest good.

Perhaps the highest good is to:

• Enjoy the moment loving the people you’re with
• Create a work of beauty to share with the world
• Reconnect with God in a meaningful way

Whatever your highest good might be, let it be your driving force for that time.

And the other details? Whether they go as planned or not, it won’t matter quite as much.

Focus on the highest good.

What is the highest good for your day today? Share in the comments.

You are on Day #13 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

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“Presume goodwill” {Mantra 12}

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“You don’t have to finish today” {Mantra 14}

We can’t control what other people do.

And neither can we accurately explain why people do what they do.

We don’t know what others are thinking. Or how they’re feeling.

Sometimes we might make a good guess. But not always. And never for certain.

Instead, if we’re guessing anyway, can we assume the best of them instead of the worst?

Presume goodwill.

We often do it for ourselves. If I act up, it’s just because “I’ve been under a lot of pressure” or “I’m really tired.”

But if you do the same thing, I might think, “You’re just mean.”

It’s called the Fundamental Attribution Error [read more about it here, “You’re Bad, But I’m Just Stressed”].

And it’s a dangerous bias. We never have all the facts. Prematurely judging each other is harmful.

On the other hand, it’s a big boost to my confidence when someone assumes the best of me, even when my words or actions might be in question.

If they assume my intent was good, I feel secure and loved.

Can I do that for others?

Jeff and I often remind each of this pact we’ve made: Assume the best.

It prevents a few arguments when we remember to put it into practice.

Erring on the side of grace makes for healthier relationships.

When God gives grace to us (which God gives us daily), we can pass it along to others.

Presume goodwill. 

Is it hard or easy for you to assume the best of others? Share in the comments.

Read More:

• When We Eat Our Own
• Do You Assume the Best or the Worst? (And the Barking Lady)
• Don’t Take This Personally

You are on Day #12 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

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Previous:
“Take one step” {Mantra 11}

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“Focus on the highest good” {Mantra 13}

When you’re not sure if you should say something, ask yourself these three questions.

1. Is it true?
2. Is it helpful?
3. Is it kind?

1. TRUE

Obviously we want to speak truth. Whatever comes from our mouth should be trustworthy. That doesn’t mean we always get things right; each person is wrong on a daily basis about something.

But if our goal is to be honest, others can at least trust our intent.

Yet we also don’t need to spew out every thought we have. That would violate the second principle:

2. HELPFUL

Sometimes speaking our truth is not helpful to the other person. It could unnecessarily tear them down or squash their spirit, and serve no purpose.

In those situations, keeping quiet might be more helpful than speaking up.

That doesn’t mean we avoid telling the truth to each other when it’s needed. But if we just want to get something off our chest, and it serves no benefit to the other person, maybe that thing doesn’t need to be said.

And the third test for our words is critical. . . 

3. KIND

Basically, if we’re not kind, it won’t matter what words we use. Nobody will listen. We’ve lost all credibility.

In this age of divisiveness, online and in person, over politics, covid, religion, etc., we especially need kindness to be mixed in with our truth and helpfulness.

• Kind in tone
• Kind in intent
• Kind in approach

As the apostle Paul said, without love, our words are just noise.

Which do you need to work on with your words: true, helpful, or kind? Share in the comments.

Read More:

• It’s Ugly Out There
• Empathize with the Hurt
• Is This Your Tone?

You are on Day #10 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

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“It is what it is” {Mantra 9}

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“Take one step” {Mantra 11}

Is this the way you want it to be?

Sometimes we fight reality. We don’t want things to be as they are. Our brains can’t accept it.

So we create alternate realities in our head. We unconsciously make up stories to explain what we perceive is happening.

We want to relieve the cognitive dissonance. [See how we blind ourselves to the truth, and what we can do about it.]

While this may feel comfortable in the short run (or not, depending on the story we’re telling ourselves!), it’s an unhealthy way to live.

Accepting reality as it is, whether good or bad, is a healthier and more honest way to live.

“When we can let go of how it is supposed to be, we can finally relax and be more peaceful with the way it is.”
– Susan Jeffers

It is what it is.

But even when we know it’s best, accepting reality isn’t always easy.

• It’s embarrassing to face up to our mistakes.
• Accepting that a relationship has changed is hard.
• Realizing something is out of our control is frustrating.

But we create extra suffering on top of suffering when we refuse to see things are they are. We get stuck in bad habits. We imagine false scenarios. We’re inhibited from taking appropriate next steps.

Granted, it’s impossible to fully know the truth about anything. Only God can do that.

But as much as is possible, accepting “it is what it is” will better position us to receive healing and to grow forward.

As Jesus said,  

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes” (Matthew 6:34, The Message).

Like it or not, tomorrow will be different. Live in today, even as we use today to straighten out mistakes from the past and to make things better for the future.

This is where God is most present. This is where God is now working. This is what we need to accept.

Right now it’s like this.

It is what it is.

Some people lean toward the past; I think too much about the future. Is it hard for you to stay in the day, too? Share in the comments.

Read More:

• 4 Lessons on Living in the Now
• Are Things Really Worse Now?
• Is Your Head in the Sand?

You are on Day #9 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

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“Tell something personal” {Mantra 8}

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“Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?” {Mantra 10}