Is It True? Is It Helpful? Is It Kind? {Mantra 10}

When you’re not sure if you should say something, ask yourself these three questions.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it helpful?
  3. Is it kind?


Obviously we want to speak truth. Whatever comes from our mouth should be trustworthy. That doesn’t mean we always get things right; each person is wrong on a daily basis about something.

But if our goal is to be honest, others can at least trust our intent.

Yet we also don’t need to spew out every thought we have. That would violate the second principle:


Sometimes speaking our truth is not helpful to the other person. It could unnecessarily tear them down or squash their spirit, and serve no purpose.

In those situations, keeping quiet might be more helpful than speaking up.

That doesn’t mean we avoid telling the truth to each other when it’s needed. But if we just want to get something off our chest, and it serves no benefit to the other person, maybe that thing doesn’t need to be said.

And the third test for our words is critical. . . 


Basically, if we’re not kind, it won’t matter what words we use. Nobody will listen. We’ve lost all credibility.

In this age of divisiveness, online and in person, over politics, covid, religion, etc., we especially need kindness to be mixed in with our truth and helpfulness.

  • Kind in tone
  • Kind in intent
  • Kind in approach

As the apostle Paul said, without love, our words are just noise.

Which do you need to work on with your words: true, helpful, or kind? Share in the comments.

Read More:

You are on Day #10 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

Find Your Mantra: 28 Daily Mantras

“It is what it is {Mantra 9}

Take one step” {Mantra 11}

13 thoughts on “Is It True? Is It Helpful? Is It Kind? {Mantra 10}

  1. Jean Wise

    Your series inspired me last week to begin to collect my 30 mantras ( I am up to 12 so far) and last week wrote this exact one you shared today on my list. I have found these questions helpful when I bad talk to my self and retreat into the mire of discouragement, Most of the time the self talk is not true nor helpful nor kind!

  2. Donna B Reidland

    Yes, you are so right. We are to speak the truth but we’re to speak the truth in love. And while sometimes that means saying things the other person doesn’t want to hear, sometimes it’s the loving thing to just keep silent.

  3. Carla

    I don’t remember where I heard this variation a few years ago…
    “Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”
    So your post is causing me to reflect on the difference between “helpful” and “necessary”! 🙂

  4. Richella J Parham

    I love this, Lisa! And I especially appreciate the thorough but short kindness inventory you provide. It’s easy to get caught in trying to sound kind without examining the intention behind one’s words. Our world is just screaming for people who will practice real kindness in speech.

    Thanks so much for joining the Grace at Home party at Imparting Grace. I’m featuring you this week!

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