Tell Something Personal {Mantra 8}
Who Wants to Know?
Why would anyone want to know this about me?
That question often keeps me quiet. I don’t want to bore people with my details. If they don’t ask, I might not tell.
But telling even small things about ourselves can enhance our relationships. It can help us feel closer to each other.
Especially when that little detail is something the other person can relate to.
Tell something personal.
But Use Wisdom
Granted, be judicious with your personal information.
- Don’t give away your credit card number.
- Don’t spread pet peeves about your partner.
- And don’t even go on and on about your latest vacation to someone who is clearly bored.
Being a chatty Cathy won’t win you many friends. People need you to listen to them, too.
Don’t Be Stingy
But don’t be too stingy with yourself. The best relationships involve talking and listening, giving and taking.
A current personal thing for me?
I’ve been having a crisis of expectations the past few months. I’ve been questioning who I can trust and who I can’t with my personal information. Sometimes it’s obvious, but other times it’s confusing. I’m praying for clarification and wisdom.
It has felt excruciating.
But it has also been freeing. When I let go of unrealistic expectations about a friend, I also let go of bitterness and disappointment. And then I’m free to love them again with fewer strings attached.
In the end, it’s a welcome release. For everybody.
Humble and Connected
Telling something personal can be a positive move away from pride and independence. And one step closer to humility and interconnectedness.
So when the mantra “Tell something personal” pops up as a reminder on my calendar every two weeks, I give it some thought.
And find a way to open up again.
Where do you fall on the privacy spectrum? Share in the comments.
You are on Day #8 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}
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“Empathize with the hurt” {Mantra 7}
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“It is what it is” {Mantra 9}
I have been wrestling with the same tension–how personal is TOO personal, and what’s the latent cringe factor in opening a particular storyline? Definitely an issue requiring Spirit fuelled discernment.
How personal is too personal is something we should ponder, Lisa. We can’t have closer relationships without opening up, but we do have to assess where and with whom we are.
Blessings!
It’s a fine balance between “unrealistic expectations” and “humility and interconnectedness” isn’t it? Trust is such a deep heart issue yet requires spiritual discernment and thoughtfulness.
It’s a fine line between being considered an over-sharer & an under-sharer.
I absolutely love your mantra series, Lisa. Each one is speaking to me in some way. Today’s is something that I struggle with…I always want the other person to initiate, but sometimes I must do that with sharing part of myself. Wonderful advice.
Good morning, Lisa! I’m featuring your 10 Books I Recommend today
http://www.lindastoll.net/2022/02/a-february-bookbag.html
And I love this series you’re doing – your topic is one that I continually evaluate. I’m really glad you’ve put this on the table, especially in this day of click-bait.
Do I feel safe? Is this helpful to others? Is this my story to tell? Is it unnessarily divisive? What’s the goal? Is there an impact on my family? Does Jesus get the glory?
Stuff like that.
You’re reading my mind, Linda! These are the type of questions I’m writing about for Thursday’s post. 🙂 And thanks for featuring my Book post. I appreciate you.
While attending a Bravers Angels session last week, I shared some personal information that I rarely share with anyone. It was appropriate. It was necessary to help those in my sphere of influence better understand the people group we were discussion. It may be weeks, months or even years before I share that nugget again. Yet, I’m confident I used wisdom and judiciousness. It was helpful and guess what. They saw with new eyes because I shared.
This is so true: “Telling something personal can be a positive move away from pride and independence. And one step closer to humility and interconnectedness.” This can be so true. Sometimes we reveal very little about ourselves because we want people to see us a certain way, which is usually pride.
I really enjoyed this post, especially not being the Chatty Cathy and listening instead. That is where friendships and relationships are made.
Lisa, such a hard question. It’s hard to know who to share the deepest parts of ourselves with. Trust and keeping a confidence are most important. You’ve given me much to think about today.
Lisa, this part of what you wrote stopped me in my tracks: “When I let go of unrealistic expectations about a friend, I also let go of bitterness and disappointment. And then I’m free to love them again with fewer strings attached.” I experienced this with my mom several years before she died, and you’re absolutely right … it was so freeing and made all the difference in the world, actually. As for the privacy spectrum, you’ve really made me think here. I’m grateful for a handful of friends with whom I can share deeply one on one. But in larger groups, I find myself mostly listening more the older I get. I’m not sure why that is, but I think I’m OK with it.
I’m a pretty private person most of the time. I probably tell my students more personal things about myself than I do most adults (they’re high school kids)—mostly because I want them to see even adults had problems in high school ?.