There are parts of Christmas that many of us dread.
For Jeff and me, it’s the gift craziness.
Trying to find the perfect gift for everyone can take the joy out of Christmas.
What can we do to relieve our stress over gift lists?
I share three ideas here:
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I’m writing today at Do Not Depart for our #SimplifyingChristmas series.
Last Thursday morning began as an ordinary day.
Jenna was driving to school on the same roads, past the same neighborhoods—some good, some bad—that were always part of her path.
Except this past Thursday. Someone unusual was on the path.
And he had a gun.
She heard two shots before she saw him. But were they really shots? Maybe instead it was a car backfiring?
Then she saw the man. He was hiding behind a brick mailbox in the wealthy neighborhood. He was firing his gun at a passing vehicle.
When something unusual happens, it grabs our attention. Our senses perk up. Our brain wants to make sense of any mystery.
I’m trying to stay awake to more of life’s mysteries.
And mysteries deep inside mercy.
Last Thursday morning I was most keenly aware of the mystery of grace.
If the man had pointed his gun at Jenna’s car as she drove by that morning, her whole life would have changed in a split second. And my life. The life of her husband, her extended family, her friends—all changed.
Many people are forced to live with those split-second changes. Just ask the family of E.J. Bradford, Jr.
E.J., a 21-year-old African American man, was shot and killed by police on Thanksgiving night at Alabama’s largest shopping mall, the crowded Riverchase Galleria Mall, near Birmingham, AL. He was mistaken by police as the gunman who had just shot others in the mall.
E.J. Bradford, Jr and his mother, April Pipkins (Courtesy Benjamin Crump)
Instead of E.J.’s family celebrating Christmas together this month, they attended his funeral, their lives forever changed, forever pained.
We are forced to live with mystery. Why this person? Why not that person? Why this and not that?
We can’t answer these questions.
Our feeble explanations fall inadequate.
But when bad things don’t happen? Do we notice?
Let’s notice, too, when things don’t happen.
Also on Jenna’s path Thursday morning was a police officer, two cars in front of her. He seemed in no particular hurry, not heading to any particular crime.
But upon seeing the man with the gun, the policeman immediately turned around and headed back toward the mailbox.
Police closed the road to further traffic. They arrested the man for shooting at passing vehicles. He was taken to the hospital for a cut on his arm and for a mental health evaluation.
photo credit: WHNT News 19
Jenna drove on.
She arrived safely at school that day, shaken, but unharmed. She could go about her normal routine. Spend it as an ordinary day.
So I could, too.
More things go right than go wrong. And we don’t notice.
When bad things could happen, but this time they didn’t, appreciate it.
Ordinary days are miracles, too.
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Do you ever think about the what-if’s that could have happened but didn’t? Please share in the comments.
You see the writing.
The message is clear. Keep out.
Do you stay away?
Messy circumstances can often keep us distant from people who need help. They keep us away from giving a blessing. They keep us away from receiving a blessing.
We were working in this neighborhood in Panama City after Hurricane Michael whipped through. The best spot to set up our trailer and equipment? Across from the graffitied house.
We saw no one there the first day.
But around lunchtime the second day, the owner of the house wandered over. He began talking.
He told us his story. He and his family had decided to stay through Hurricane Michael. At least until early that Wednesday morning, October 11.
It was 5:30 a.m. His phone rang. It was a trusted friend who was in the know.
The message was brief: Tell your family to leave town. Now!
He was wide awake. He immediately called his grown daughter. Get the grandchild out of bed and go! Go west! Go west! She did. He was glad.
He stayed behind. And experienced the worst hurricane of his life.
His first impulse afterwards was to guard the belongings in this house. At all costs.
But now?
He told our volunteers to go in, find something they need. Inside was a collection of goods he once sold.
But now he wanted to give it away.
The keep-out house was inviting us in.
When we judge others by their outside signs, by their looks, by their outer layers, we can miss their deeper gifts.
But if we can just show up, be available, and listen, we’ll discover this: There’s enough of God to go around. For everyone.
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Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Read more Hurricane Michael stories:
What was a highlight of your November? What are you looking forward to in December?
[If you can’t see the 1 Second Everyday video, click here]
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1. Why You Can Be a Kinda Contemplative Christian
by Ed Cyzewski
Ed is one of my favorite Christian thinkers and writers. Here he reminds us that:
“It is far better to begin imperfectly, to be ‘kinda contemplative,’ than to have no silence, no centering, no attempts to reach God in the stillness of our souls.”
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2. Want to Remember It? Draw It
by Emma Young
The act of drawing something has a massive benefit for memory compared with writing it down.
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3. Should We Stop Publicly Shaming People?
by The Tylt
Is it the internet’s job to make people pay for their mistakes? How do you vote? I’m in the camp of #EndTheShame.
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4. Stop Hand Washing Your Dishes
by A.A. Newton
Another great excuse to just load everything up in the dishwasher, using math.
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5. Just 5 More
Want to squeeze out just a little more from yourself? I love these short videos every few weeks from Dan Pink.
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1. How Long Does It Takes to Read Each Book of the Bible?
This is an interesting infographic about the length of time it takes to read sections of the Bible, including this:
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2. I Love My Kindle, But…
It can’t do this. Funny comic by Maria Scrivan. She’s right.
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3. Podcast with a 2018 Holiday Gift Guide
Lots of suggestions here on gifts you can give AND help others around the world at the same time.
FOR THE LOVE OF GIVING: EPISODE 01, The Hatmakers’ Favorite Things Returns: 2nd Annual Holiday Gift Guide.
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4. Podcast: 7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How to Form Them
On the OLD podcast (Optimal Living Daily), the host reads one great blog post every day that he finds around the web. This one, Episode 1079, is by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on simple things we each can do to make for a better life.
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5. Five Books I Recommend + Video
Here are two novels and three non-fiction books that I really enjoyed and learned from in November.
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1. Under the Tree – Progress!
How’s your Christmas shopping going? It’s empty under our Christmas tree—no gifts there. BUT I have actually bought almost all my gifts; they’re just not wrapped yet.
I never finish this early (and granted, I’m not done yet). But this is big, y’all. I’m hoping it will help remove some stress from the busyness of Christmas.
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2. Clean and Lit – Into the Future
We’re not prepping for surgery. We were about to tour a facility that grows lettuce the hydroponic way (without soil).
The lettuce is grown under LED lights. We wore special glasses for the tour to protect our vision.
When I later looked at the picture I took, I was surprised – it was totally pink. Jeff is standing near the center, looking left.
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3. Kali’s 25th Birthday
If our middle daughter Kali had lived, she would have turned 25 on November 13.
Jeff is a wonderful caretaker of her grave at the cemetery every year. It makes me love him even more when I see how he tends to these details.
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4. Siblings Turn 60?
How can this be? Both my brother Lane and my sister-in-law Bonnie turned 60 this year. Neither one of them look it!
Their daughter Amanda threw a surprise birthday party last weekend for Bonnie. We had lots of fun celebrating her and guessing trivia questions about 1958+.
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5. Life at 10 Months
We were blessed to see our sweet granddaughter a lot in November. And hope to in December as well!
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What was a highlight from your November? What are you looking forward to in December? Please share in the comments.
Summaries and links to blog posts for November 2018
Which side are you typically on?
(1) You speak up very quickly.
Opening your mouth comes easily, and sometimes gets you in trouble.
(2) You’re reluctant to voice your opinion too soon.
You’d rather think about it first, but sometimes that means you miss the opportunity altogether.
Kathy Khang addresses both sides in her new book, Raise Your Voice.
As an Asian American, she erred much of her early life on the quiet side. But as she aged, she learned that silence carries a risk.
She shares in this book that as God’s creation, we aren’t meant to be silent. All of creation communicates, and we need to speak up, too.
“We all need to understand that voice, identity, and agency are given by God but often are underdeveloped or ignored in people on the margins. We need to be seen and heard.“
That doesn’t mean we become abrasive.
Speaking up should not create more divisions or cause more pain. To the contrary, “speaking up can be an avenue of truth and healing,” bringing injustice and sin to the forefront where it can be corrected.
“I choose to speak up, over and over again, even when it’s awkward because awkwardness is easier to overcome than allowing injustice to continue.”
Kathy shares a list of things to consider before we speak up, as we speak up, and after we speak up. Here are a few items from these sections.
Before You Speak Up:
While You Speak Up:
After You Speak Up:
But speaking up isn’t just for IRL situations. We use our voice again and again in online venues as well.
In the video I give you some of Kathy’s tips for online communication. (I originally shared this video on Monday’s post on 5 Books I Recommend.)
I recently joined a new Facebook group mentioned in Raise Your Voice called Be the Bridge to Racial Unity. It’s the online arm of Be the Bridge, a website dedicated to equipping racial bridge building in the church.
I’m currently one month into the three-month quiet stage of the Facebook group. For the first three months, you’re asked to do active listening there—no posting or commenting.
Just this:
“Read. Watch. Learn. Feel. Examine yourself. Wrestle with God.”
This is good advice both for online interactions and in-real-life conversations. First listen. But then speak.
Whichever way we choose to speak up, this is a truth worth remembering:
“Speaking up is never about creating conflict or being disruptive just to shake things up and leave a mess. Speaking up is always about the gospel—speaking and painting a picture of truth, wholeness, and hope.”
Regardless of your natural tendency to speak up quickly or slowly, speak up wisely. That’s the best way to make a difference.
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Do you tend to react too quickly or too slowly? Please share in the comments.
Learn more about Raise Your Voice here.
My thanks to NetGalley
for the review copy of this book
