Lisa notes

That “Friend” Is Not Who You Think They Are

By LisaNotes January 14, 2026 Technology 34 Comments

The Nicest Conversations I Have

I look back through their messages for clues. No matter what my request, they always respond enthusiastically:

Great question!
Absolutely, I can help with this!

When I ask for advice, they never imply I’m stupid for asking.

You’re right to be careful here.
You’re super close—it just needs a little tweak.

In our chats, they give me their full attention.
They never seem bored.
They’re always willing to engage more.

When I ask a direct question, they give a a direct answer. And always so politely. Always so kindly.

And yet . . .

Something Still Feels Off

While this “friend” is very good at saying all the right things and using all the right tones, I sense that maybe they’re not all they seem to be.

And of course they aren’t.

Because this “friend” is ChatGPT.
Artificial intelligence.
A machine.

When Help Starts to Look Like Friendship

Yet more and more I hear stories of people turning to AI for friendship.

Instead of asking their mom for parenting advice, they ask Google. Instead of hearing a friend explain the easier route to their house, they only want an address for GPS. Instead of experimenting with extra butter or less salt in a recipe, they let AI deliver the perfect formula for an ideal pecan pie.

And yes—I do it, too. I turn to the internet for answers like these and more.

But at What Cost?

At what cost to our humanity?

Are we handing over too much of ourselves to machines?
Have bots become too helpful?
Too nice?

People can be a pain sometimes. AI, by contrast, can appear endlessly patient and impressively smart.

But confusing one for the other will only lead to heartache—on the human’s side.

What AI Will Never Do

AI might remind you to send a card on your dad’s birthday, but it won’t cry with you after he dies.

It might create the perfect road trip playlist, but it won’t sit beside you in the front seat and laugh and sing along.

It can edit this post to make it grammatically correct, but it can’t leave a comment about its own lived experience last week.

And while we’re at it, neither can a book do these things.
Or a video game.
Or a TV show.
Or any other object without life.

What People Can Do

Only people can do these things.

Only people will eat ice cream with you after a hard day.
Only people will invite you to lunch to meet their new boyfriend.
Only people will carry your groceries when you need an extra hand.

Computers are wonderful.
They inform us.
They assist us.
They keep us engaged. They are good at friendship while we’re on the page.

But computers cannot replace you.

Humanity Is the Point

Because you are human.

And humanity is your superpower—with all its strengths and weaknesses, its clarity and confusion, its laughter and tears.

So let a human take you offline today.

Step into the real world together. Experience real adventures. Feel real love.

Stay awake.
Stay alive.
Stay human.

P.S.

I pasted this post into ChatGPT and asked,

“Are you offended by the content of this post?”

AI responded with this (including a smiley face emoji):

“No—I’m not offended. 🙂

I don’t have feelings, pride, or a sense of being slighted, so nothing in this post lands as an insult or critique to me personally. If anything, it accurately describes what I am and what I’m not.

I can be helpful, attentive, polite, and responsive. I can support thinking, reflection, and clarity. But I don’t have lived experience, embodiment, grief, joy, memory, or relationship in the human sense—and your post draws that boundary thoughtfully and honestly.

What you’re doing isn’t diminishing AI; it’s protecting human connection. And that’s a distinction worth making, especially right now, when the lines can feel blurry.

So no offense taken. The message is clear, grounded, and—very human.”

Okay, thanks, ChatGPT. Good to know. Let’s keep it that way.

A Question for You:

When has a real person—not a screen—made a difference for you? Share in the comments.

Read More:

Do You Say Thank You to AI? The Bots Are Listening
Are we trusting AI too much? In Nexus we’re called to be aware of how computers are shaping us.
When to Ignore GPS (and Listen to Yourself Instead)
Here’s how one road trip reminded me that the best navigation system is sometimes your own intuition.
What the Algorithm Does to Our Words—and Why It Matters
Algorithms change language through online slang, euphemisms, and emotional manipulation. What does that mean for our culture?

Will You Be Good at Your Thing Today?

By LisaNotes January 9, 2026 Encouragement, My stories 10 Comments

A Longer Wait

It’s early Monday morning. I’m sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. I’m listening for my name to be called.

Then a new family walks in.

And I know.

I look at my watch. I mentally add 30 minutes to my wait. That’s how much longer I estimate my wait has just increased.

Because the young boy with his mom and siblings is visibly nervous. Like me, he’s here to have his blood drawn. He is not happy about it.

And if his name is called before mine, there’s going to be a long time of hand-holding and reassurance from the nurse before it’s ever my turn.

The Good Nurse

The mom signs in her family and sits down with two of her children while the young boy makes a dash for the restroom. He stays. And stays.

The nurse opens the door behind the counter and calls the boy’s name.

But he’s still in the bathroom. The mother says it could be a few more minutes before he’s ready.

I feel bad for him.

But relieved that they now call my name instead.

I get the good nurse. I’m so glad. Several times in the past she’s been the one to draw my blood. She’s so proficient at her job that I barely feel the prick.

Today is no exception.

I tell her so. She’s used to hearing this praise. But she’s still humble in her acceptance of it.

Be Good at Your Thing

We’re finished, so I grab my wallet and head for the door to drive home. But in the waiting room, the young boy’s name is being called again. With fear in his eyes, this time he’s going with the nurse instead of the restroom.

If only he could understand that he’ll get the good nurse, too. I hope things go well for him and for her.

Maybe this will be the positive experience he needs to release some of his fear.

There are many things we can be good at in this world. Each person has several talents.

But on this morning on this day, this nurse being good at drawing blood might make all the difference to this young boy.

Whatever you do today, if you can, do it well.

You never know whose day you might change.

When’s the last time someone’s skill made a moment easier for you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

10 Book Recommendations About Stories, Responsibility, and Fairness
—January 2026 Book Recommendations

By LisaNotes January 6, 2026 Books I Recommend 27 Comments

Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.
—Malorie Blackman

These latest books I finished circle again and again around questions—of agency, responsibility, and consequences of choices we make in our lives.

From leadership and justice to rivers, data, stories, and heart-moving poetry, these books invited me to slow down and look more closely at what fairness, connection, and care look like in my own life, too.

I hope you might enjoy one or two of these as well.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Strong Ground
The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit
by Brené Brown

This book contains the typical strengths of Brené Brown’s books—practical, heavily-researched, and human. It runs the gamut of topics that facilitate better leadership skills, including multiple great metaphors to illustrate her points. (For instance, Brown inspired me to do deep dives into YouTube videos to better understand how dams and weirs work, for her metaphor about locking in and locking through. Interesting!)

2. The Afterlife of Data (from Nonfiction November recommendations—thanks, Anne!)
What Happens to Your Information When You Die and Why You Should Care
by Carl Öhman

Have you noticed how many of your Facebook friends have died, but their account still shows up as active? I did a count once, and it was astounding. This book is a wakeup call that when we die, we’ll leave lots of personal data behind online. And who decides what happens to it? While I didn’t find the entire book interesting, much of it (and definitely the premise!) is a wakeup call to start thinking—and doing—something about our information.

3. Is a River Alive? (from Nonfiction November recommendations—thanks, Harry!)
by Robert Macfarlane

This book may change how you see water forever. I found myself skimming it at first because, yeah, I’ve seen rivers before.

But I soon found great value in adopting the pace that the author wanted me to go, which was slower, more in depth, and magically poetic. And then I loved it. (When I started listening to the audiobook, even better!) The characters in Macfarlane’s stories are memorable. His mystical, lyrical writing matches the mystical, lyrical flow of a river with its wildness and beauty and authority. (Read Harry’s full review here to get a fuller picture of the book’s content. I’m not doing it justice in this snippet.)

4. The Common Good (from Nonfiction November recommendations—thanks, Deb!)
by Robert B. Reich

This book will remind you why pursuing a common good still matters—maybe more than ever. Reich’s writing feels urgent about rethinking (and then doing!) what it means to be a good citizen and to be morally responsible in our current political and cultural climate.

5. Unfair ***
The New Science of Criminal Injustice
by Adam Benforado

Unfair might change how you see the justice system. It shows how our ordinary human bias unconsciously shapes outcomes at every step of the process. It’s quite unsettling. The book is easy to understand and full of real cases and research that reveal how often fairness depends on things that go unnoticed.

6. Everything Is a Story
Reclaiming the Power of Stories to Heal and Shape Our Lives
by Kaitlin B. Curtice

Curtice helps you see how deeply our narratives shape who we are. And how much agency we have to actually question and rewrite those stories ourselves. As a citizen of the Potawatomi nation, she writes grounded in wisdom and clarity.

[Read full review here, “How Stories Shape Our Lives”]

7. All the Honey
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

I’m a wannabe poetry reader. While I loved the one book of poetry I made myself read last year by Mary Oliver last year, this book I read on Hoopla by Trommer truly stirred my soul in a deeper, more surprising way. Her poems are tender and insightful. I’m already planning to buy my personal copy of this book when I see her in person in a few weeks.

FICTION

8. The Good Father
by Diane Chamberlain

I enjoy how Chamberlain writes stories. In this book, she tells how a young single father devotes his life to raising his daughter, then loses his job and home. When a too-good-to-be-true opportunity comes along to solve his problems, he has to make decisions about how far to go. While I did get frustrated with some of the unbelievable decisions the characters made, I remained enthralled with the plot all along the way.

9. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
by Stephen Chbosky

Originally published in 1999, I just now finished this sweet novel for the first time with my local bookclub. The story follows the letters written by Charlie, a quiet and observant high school freshman, to a “friend” about his new friendships, new loves, and complicated family struggles. It felt so authentic to a high schooler’s voice about the trials of growing up. (I haven’t seen the movie.)

10. The Woman in Suite 11
by Ruth Ware

I make a point of reading all of Ruth Ware’s novels because they center on crime without being gory or terrifying. This follow-up to The Woman in Cabin 10 (helpful but not required reading) finds journalist Lo Blacklock trying to revive her career at a luxury Swiss hotel—until a dangerous mystery pulls her into a chase across Europe. It didn’t feel perfect to me, but it was definitely engaging and easy to follow. (I don’t want to have to think too hard with a novel.)

WHAT I’M READING NOW

The Frozen River
by Ariel Lawhon
Rule Makers, Rule Breakers ***
Tight and Loose Cultures and the Secret Signals that Direct Our Lives
by Michele Gelfand
Awake
by Jen Hatmaker
Real Love
The Art of Mindful Connection
by Sharon Salzberg
Beyond Belief
by Nir Eyal
All in This Together
Stories and Teachings for Loving Each Other and Our World
by Jack Kornfield
Women Who Run With the Wolves
by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

*** Books from Daniel Pink’s 21 Favorite Books list; you can find it here. I’m working through the list. I’ve read 14 so far, and have 7 more to read.

Have you read a good book lately? I’d love to hear in the comments.

I’m sharing at these linkups

Prepare to Shift: Choosing My Word for a Year That Will Change

By LisaNotes January 1, 2026 Personal Growth, Shift: One Word 2026 26 Comments

“All that you touch, you change.
All that you change, changes you.
The only lasting truth is change.”
– Lauren Olamina in Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler

A Daily Walk, A Subtle Shift

I open the front door.
The sun is shining, but the breeze is cold.
I slip on my gloves. It’s going to be a cold walk.

As has become my practice, I begin my walk by noticing how the shift in environment—from inside to outside—feels to my body:

the change in temperature on my skin,
the direction of the wind on my face,
the deeper breaths as I walk up the hill.

But when I turn the corner around the block, I consciously shift to a different mindset.

Now I’m looking for one thing:

What looks different today compared to yesterday?

Change Is Always Happening (Even If Invisible)

There are always differences. Even if I can’t spot them.

Since yesterday, I know that:

the wind has rearranged fallen leaves,
squirrels have stirred their acorn piles,
cars have passed by, leaving microscopic rubber dust on the road.

Change is always around me.

But it isn’t only the outer world that shifts.

We Are Not Who We Were Yesterday

Our inner worlds are always on the move, too.

I am not the same person I was yesterday.
Neither are you.

We may look the same on the outside from day to day. And even on the inside, we’re breathing with the same lungs as yesterday, heaving the same heart up and down, and processing information with the same brain.

But the air molecules we’re inhaling today are new. The blood we’re pumping has been replaced by millions of fresh cells. And the thoughts we’re thinking are traveling on updated neural pathways based on our latest experiences.

Ready or not, aware or not,
we are changing.

Choosing My One Word for 2026: Shift

It was on one of these ordinary daily walks that I found my new One Word for 2026

SHIFT

because I’m so amazed, perplexed, and often troubled by these universal truths:

Everything is impermanent.
Everything changes.
Everything shifts.

The earth does.
Circumstances do.
We do.
Every thing, every day.

From Ripple to Shift

In 2025, my word was Ripple. Through its lens, I watched when one thing moves, it affects everything around it.

With each shift you make, my world adjusts a little.
With each shift I make, yours does too.

This isn’t new wisdom, of course. As far back as 500 BCE, we have these sayings attributed to the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus:

“The only constant in life is change,” and
“You cannot step into the same river twice.”

The Art of Small Adjustments

Studies say we make an average of 200 decisions on every mile we drive (depending on city or highway traffic). These micro-adjustments can be slight moves with the steering wheel, speeding up or slowing down, taps on the brake, checking our mirrors, deciding when to change lanes—all important changes to ensure a safe journey.

Similar changes are just as important as we drive (and are driven) in our lives. The subtle shifts we will make each day in the coming year will help keep our minds, hearts, and bodies aligned to our changing environments.

Some shifts will be deliberate and noticeable.
But many shifts will happen underneath our consciousness, yet equally vital in keeping us responsive, alive, and moving along in the direction we hope to go.

My Intention for the Year Ahead

As this new year begins, my desire is:

to notice shifts more closely,
to make some shifts more intentionally,
and to accept inevitable (even unwanted) shifts more freely.

I’m writing this post as my first official partnership with Shift in 2026. I have designed a logo of Shift to put on my mirror. I’ve mapped a monthly schedule to include things like experimental shifts in pace, closer awareness of nature shifts, and noticing which of my interests have shifted over time.

Yet all the while I know, even begrudgingly, that these plans will shift in big and small ways to accommodate real life as it comes. Rigidity means death when we’re too inflexible. Shifts are healthy for growth.

This I can know with certainty:

Everything changes.

So this year I want to stay present.
Learn to make adjustments.
And be grateful for shifts.

Questions for You

What’s one small shift you’ve noticed in your life lately? Is there a small or large shift you’d like to make in 2026?

If you have a word of the year, what is it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

About One Word of the Year:

If choosing one guiding word for the year speaks to you, you’re invited to join our online One Word community. We offer encouragement to each other all year round to continue practicing our words. You’ll receive a monthly email with suggestions, an invitation to join our private Facebook group if you’d like, and opportunities to share blog posts each month on the 26th.

On the Blog – December 2025

By LisaNotes December 31, 2025 Archives No Comments

Here are brief summaries and links to posts on the blog, Lisa notes, from December 2025.

Everything Is a Story: How the Narratives We Live By Shape Our Lives (12/26)
A reflective review of Everything Is a Story by Kaitlin B. Curtice, exploring how the stories we tell can heal, harm, and quietly shape our lives.
Rate Your One Word 2025: Reflection, Closure, and What Comes Next {One Word 2025 December Linkup} (12/23)
Reflect on your One Word 2025 with simple rating and reflection questions to bring closure before choosing your One Word for 2026.
My Top 5 Fiction Books of 2025: Stories That Stayed With Me (12/19)
Discover my top 5 fiction books of 2025, from heart-wrenching stories to immersive narratives that left a lasting impact.
My Top 10 Favorite Books of 2025: Lessons on Life, Loss, and Curiosity (12/16)
Discover my top 10 books of 2025, from grief and mortality to curiosity and creativity, with quick takeaways and thoughts to consider.
Still Deciding What to Buy? You’re Not Alone (12/12)
Still deciding what to buy for Christmas? Embrace imperfect gifts, reduce holiday stress, and find joy in giving without chasing perfection.
The Power of Ripples: One Word That Carried Me All Year Long—My end of the year wrap-up (12/9)
Discover the power of ripples—how one small Word of the Year shaped my life through presence, connection, and unexpected moments of change and healing.
How to Cope with Climate Worry: A Book to Help You Breathe Again (12/6)
Facing Climate Anxiety explores practical tools for managing climate worry with clarity, resilience, and hope—without doom, guilt, or overwhelm.
6 Easy Ways AI Can Help You Choose Your One Word of the Year for 2026—AI Prompts to Find Your Perfect One Word (12/3)
Discover 6 simple ways AI can help you choose your One Word of the Year for 2026. Fun, reflective, and future-driven prompts to find your perfect word.
8 Books to See the World (and Yourself) More Clearly—December 2025 Book Recommendations (12/1)
Discover 8 powerful books that deepen self-understanding and broaden your perspective. These insightful reads help you see the world—and yourself—more clearly.

See previous months’ archives here

Four Simple Tools I Use to Live with Time—Not Against It
Share Four Somethings

By LisaNotes December 29, 2025 Life updates, Personal Growth 22 Comments

Time stays on my mind a lot, but especially so at the changing of a year. I track it a little closer. And watch it pass a little quicker.

Although not by design, I’m unsurprised that my collection of Share 4 Somethings this month ended up centering on time—specifically on tools that help me live my hours and days with more intention.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I loved

SEEING THE YEAR ALL AT ONCE

Are you a calendar person? I’d be lost without mine—both digital and paper. [Do You Write In Your Calendar With Ink or Pencil?]

I’ve added one more calendar to the mix the past three years: a continuous calendar.

I use this one for one purpose only—to log when we’re going to be out of town. No weekly boxes. No clutter. Just the full year stretched out in one spot.

There’s something grounding to see our planned comings and goings in this way—a visual reminder of the subtle shifts in location we want to make over the year.

Here’s the link to the free continual calendar site I download from, though there are plenty of other options online.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I learned

LETTING AI HELP SCHEDULE MY ONE WORD

The past couple of years I’ve asked AI to help organize my One Word of the Year into a practical, monthly schedule. I start with a simple prompt to give it my own ideas, like:

> “My new One Word of the Year for 2026 is ___. Create a calendar with a monthly theme, three journal prompts, and three activities centered on one aspect of my word, such as ___.”

Then I ask for more ideas. I narrow them down to the ones I like the best. Then I ask for a one-page printable. And finally, a visual (although I’ve yet to love theirs, so I create my own).

What I’ve learned is I don’t have to outsource my thinking to AI to get the most from it. Instead, I can just use it as a conversation partner to spot patterns and better organize themes. For my 2026 word, it was once again helpful to keep my plans simple and doable.

(If you want to play with AI to discover or refine your own One Word of the Year, try these 6 prompts.)

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something that went well

15 YEARS, 1 LINE AT A TIME

Wow—it’s hard to believe I’ll finish writing my third five-year “one line a day” journal on December 31. That means I’ve been doing this for fifteen years?!!

I’ve already bought my newest 5-year book, ready to begin on January 1, 2026. (I’d love to find a spiral-bound one, but no luck yet.)

While I don’t always love doing it, I always love having done it (that makes sense, right?). It’s a quick, low-pressure way to capture one small—or big—thing from each day.

The real fun comes from looking back at the same date across different years. It’s a nice little snapshot of who and where I was then, and a reminder of details I’d otherwise have forgotten (like, what was the name of that restaurant we really liked in Panama City?).

Here’s what I wrote on this day:

One year ago:
December 29, 2024, Su.
Jeff and H ride bikes. I throw away more stuff.

Five years ago:
December 29, 2019, Su.
Such a fun trip seeing the girls! I’m exhausted.

Ten years ago:
December 29, 2015, Tu.
HARD day with stomach pain. Visit doc but no help. Jeff taking good care of me.
(Less than a month later, I’d have my gallbladder removed—problem solved.)

It makes me wonder what I’ll write at the end of this day, and how it will sound to future me, who will already know what came next.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I let go of

A DAY TO RELEASE AND REIMAGINE

A few weeks ago, I spent a day letting go of 2025 and looking ahead to 2026. I followed the same schedule from this amazing book I used last year, including one activity where I stacked a coin for every year I’ve lived—and then estimated another stack for how many years I might have left.

It’s a sobering practice. (Who knows if the remaining stack should be much shorter—or even taller?)

During the journaling, I wrote down what I believed to be my biggest problem and my greatest joy. I’m curious to see, a year from now, whether they’ve shifted or stayed the same.

Also from the book is a blessing I’ve been carrying with me ever since—I offer it first to myself then extend it outward to others:

As I grow older, may I be kind to myself;
As I grow older, may I accept joy and sorrow;
As I grow older, may I be happy and at peace.

I can’t predict what will happen in this coming year. But one thing I do know, if we’re still here:

Time will keep moving.
Calendars will keep turning.
And we’ll keep showing up in the days we’re given—living them, remembering them, and letting them go . . . when it’s time.

A Question for You:

What’s a tool or practice that helps you live with time? Do you use a digital or physical calendar? A journal?

Share your thoughts in the comments.