Are You Ready for This Countdown?
“When you stop expecting things to last, you begin to value them more.”
– from The Beauty of Letting Go
The Countdown I’m Not Ready For
I recently read about an app that calculates how much time you might have left on earth.
Once you enter your birthdate, it gives you a countdown of your potential days remaining, based on official World Health Organization data, scientific research, and your own habits. (It also gives you a countdown toward any goal, vacation, or accomplishment you’re working toward, etc.)
Part of me is very intrigued. One of my Ripple goals this year is to be more intentional about end-of-life things.
But how would I feel seeing I might have only 20 remaining first-day-of-autumns, for instance? Would it make me more appreciative of each one instead of saying, “Nothing new here; I’ve seen this before“? Limited quantities of something do wake me up.
On the other hand, do I really want to keep track of these things, like how few Christmases I have left? It sounds depressing. Would I obsess more about the declining numbers instead of embracing the ones I do have?
For now, I’ve hit pause on downloading the app. But I keep thinking about it.
Because with or without an app, I already know this: I will die. So will you. Our days here are numbered. Our trips around the sun won’t last forever. This moment, this day, these circumstances are constantly changing.
What Acceptance Is—and Isn’t
When I think about the finite lifespan of not only myself but also of those I love, it makes me sad, of course.
But this is the reality where acceptance lives.
Accepting something doesn’t mean we have to like it. I don’t like that I have and will continue to lose people I love in this life. I won’t stop grieving losses I’ve already experienced.
Neither does acceptance imply we have to pretend that tragedies—like mass shootings, systemic racism, or chronic illness—are somehow okay.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we stop advocating for justice for the future. I can accept what’s happening even as I work to change it.
Instead, acceptance is simply facing what is real. It’s refusing to hide in denial. It’s saying, “This is the way it is, whether I like it or not.”
- Before you can heal, acknowledge the wound.
- Before you can change, recognize the problem.
- Before you can apologize, admit you were wrong.
Acceptance is naming what is true. Without it, we end up living in fantasies instead of living in the life we actually have.
Why Facing Reality Matters
If I were to download the countdown app, I wouldn’t be creating my death—I’d only be acknowledging the reality of it. That’s the same role acceptance plays.
“What does it mean to live without the illusion of forever? It means choosing honesty over comfort. It means loving people as they are, not as you want them to stay. It means waking up each morning knowing that everything you touch is temporary—and choosing to love it anyway. That’s not pessimism. That’s reverence.”
-from The Beauty of Letting Go
When I resist reality, I use up precious energy fighting a losing battle of “It shouldn’t be this way.”
But when I accept reality, I free my energy to ask, “Given this truth, now what?”
Acceptance grounds me. From there, I can:
- work to repair relationships,
- take action for a more equitable world,
- savor gifts each day at a time, without rushing.
Acceptance doesn’t make the path easy or bring everything (or anything?) under my control. Other people’s choices and circumstances outside my control also shape outcomes.
Acceptance keeps me aligned with reality. It keeps me from wasting my life waiting for things to be different before I start living.
Practicing Acceptance in Real Time
So I sit here with the app still not on my phone. I may never install it. But even without the digital reminder, I already know what it would say: my days are limited.
The question is not whether I like that truth. The question is whether I will let myself face it anyway—and then decide how to live from there.
And maybe that’s the gift of acceptance. I don’t have to stare at a countdown to remember that time is precious. I can let each season remind me. I can let each conversation matter. I can let each breath be enough.
Acceptance is not resignation. It’s the first step toward wisdom, change, and love.
Face it first. Then move forward without clinging, knowing that this moment—as fleeting as it is—is a magnificent gift to behold.
If possible, would you want to know exactly how many days you might have left? (I recommend the novel The Measure by Nikki Erlick if the question intrigues you.)
I think it’s important to accept that there are many things we cannot control. But I also believe we have greater ability and influence than we often give ourselves credit for. Like the poet said, “Do not go gently into that good night.”
You’re right, Harry. While we can’t control everything, we CAN control some things, and we don’t need to let one cancel out the other. I need these reminders often. I had this conversation again yesterday with my husband over my discouragement about the state of the world. He reminded me that the things I do, even though they feel small to me, are still important and worth doing. So we press on for another day.
It is so important to accept the reality that our time is limited, but I would never want any app telling me when I could expect my last days. One day at a time, one moment at a time holds so much wisdom and grace. As believers, we know that only God is in control so let’s just sit back and enjoy the ride. Great thoughts, Lisa!
Lisa, thank you for this beautiful, thoughtful piece. I was really dreading hitting 70 last month. But as I sifted through it and wrote about it and kept moving forward, by the time the actual day hit, I was just fine.
Acceptance is a wonderful to gift to give and receive. Your thoughts couldn’t have come at a better time. Enjoy these final weeks of summer, friend.
I’m glad you made a beautiful transition from 60s to 70, Linda. The hardest decade transference for me so far was from 50s to 60, but I’ve adjusted, as we all tend to do. 🙂 Thank you for the example you set!
Love how you shared all these thoughts. I don’t think I would download it but I would continue to hold the ripple and the concepts in your first quote: “When you stop expecting things to last, you begin to value them more.” I really liked that. just value the present and plan the best for the gifts what yet may come.
First of all, no…I would allow the app’s results to affect me negatively. I’m more content knowing that, yes, my days are numbered but they are numbered by God and He does all things well. I’ll just trust Him for that!
I enjoyed this post a lot, Lisa. The emphasis on acceptance brought back so many memories from when I first diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I “thought” having a diagnosis would cheer me up, but instead I found myself wallowing in as much self-pity after the diagnosis than before. Then a friend gave me John Piper’s book, When I Don’t Desire God. I can still vividly remember lying on the sofa, with the book propped up on my knees because my hands hurt too badly to hold the book and somewhere in the reading the Holy Spirit convicted me of my non-acceptance of my circumstances and that I needed to learn to accept the fact that God had allowed this as a gift to me to transform me more to the image of Christ. My gift back to God was how I dealt with the pain…if I allowed it to dictate who I am, or if I would accept life as it is and continue on. I love the quote you shared and have The Power of Letting Go in my Amazon cart now. Thanks, Friend.
Thank you for giving us an opening into this part of your life, Dianna. Learning to accept the hard things is a struggle but it helps to know that it is possible and worth our efforts. You have such a precious heart! I haven’t finished reading The Power of Letting Go myself yet; let me know what you think if you do get it. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far and I’d like to read more of it.
I still haven’t downloaded the app either; I probably won’t because I think too that it might affect me negatively. 🙂
Lisa, thank you for this wonderful blog. It is good to “peinzen” about it. Peinzen is a Dutch word. It’s not quite the same as “thinking” or “pondering.” Peinzen means sitting with your thoughts in a slow, almost meditative way—turning them over gently, letting them ripen, without rushing to a conclusion. It’s more about dwelling with a question than solving it.
Your blog also made me think about unreconciled relationships. Some will likely never be “fixed” this side of eternity. One practice I’ve started is setting aside an hour each month to sit with the good—celebrating the memories, the moments of love that are still part of me, even if contact is broken now.
It’s not always easy, but I’ve found it brings light into places that might otherwise stay only shadow. Acceptance, as you said, doesn’t mean pretending it’s all okay—it means holding the reality and still choosing to find the gift that remains.
Lots of Love,
Your Dutch blogvriendin Aritha
Okay, so now I’m falling in love with this new word (to me). I love the concept of peinzen; I wish we had an English alternative. Thanks for sharing about it, Aritha!
Also my heart aches with you about unreconciled relationships. Your practice of sitting with good memories for an hour each month sounds like something that might benefit me as well. I appreciate you telling me about this. It helps to know we’re not alone with our grief, even though we don’t wish these sorrows on anyone.
This is a beautiful practice, Aritha, and I appreciate you sharing this with us. It is a life-giving way to approach a heartbreaking situation.
Oh I don’t think I’d want to know! I’d end up obsessing over it; I just know I would. I am much too much of a type A to not.
I used to want to know, Lisa. But now I don’t. Could be older age. Or be my increasing propensity to say, ‘whatever’ to so much of what life (and the Lord) bring my way.
Knowing that He’s already written the rest of my story is giving me peace in this season.
It’s a good place to be.
Oh I see I already commented last week! I thought your words rang a familiar bell!!!!!!!
Talk about older age, huh . . .
ha. I totally know where you’re coming from, Linda! And I never mind hearing from you twice, my friend. 🙂
People think I’m joking when I describe myself as a “middle-aged woman.” They think late 30s isn’t middle age it’s when one reaches 50. Well…the average life expectancy is 78 years old and 50 isn’t half of 78 years old. Accepting myself as a middle-aged woman since turning 35 years old has reframed how I want to approach life. I’m more motivated to eat healthier, take career risks, and decide to go on that break rather than wait until 50.
You do sound more wise than your years, Julie! I love your perspective. It makes perfect sense to me. Thank you for sharing. Your approach would be a positive one for many people.
I do not want to know when I will take my last breath. I think I would end of living in full-on panic mode to get EVERYTHING done before I go.
Once again our words intersect:
“Teach me to remember my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom.”
I appreciate the call to realize that our time is limited, so that we appreciate each day and are intentional in our relationships (both here and eternal). I don’t think I would trust the WHO to set the number of days I have left or download the app.