Why Now Is the Best Time to Be Generous
The Backpack Story That Shows the Power of Giving Now
“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Backpack She Couldn’t Afford
My friend and I had just been seated at a cozy Italian restaurant on a Thursday afternoon. Our waitress brought us our waters, and although she was warm and friendly, she seemed slightly distracted.
While we looked over our menus, she returned to her station, pulled out her phone, and began scrolling on it.
When she came back to take our order, she apologized for the delay—though we hadn’t noticed. She said she had been searching online for the cheapest place to buy a backpack for her daughter before school started back. The one her daughter wanted cost $80, and she was working extra shifts to pay for it.
The rest of our service remained excellent. When the waitress brought over the bill, I could see a glint shining in my friend’s eyes.
“Should I give her a $100 tip so she can buy that backpack?”
A Perspective Shift on Generosity Now
The thought reminded me of the book I just finished reading, The Happiness Experiment by Carl Barney. One premise of the book is: be generous now; don’t wait until later.
After a near-death experience on an airplane, Barney made a revolutionary decision: instead of waiting until he died to execute his will, he wanted to do it now, when it could most help those he loved. He then began giving away “pre-quests.”
One by one, he contacted the twenty people in his will. He told them that because they added such value to his life, he wanted to give them money now instead of waiting until his death (he said he plans to live to 120).
The monetary gifts were given with no strings attached, but they did come with support. Barney provided each recipient with a financial coach to help them use their new money in ways to increase their happiness, and had them each fill out a Happiness Planning Workbook.
“My mind flicked forward to another scene . . . pausing on the faces of the twenty special people named in my will. I had intended to recognize and express my gratitude to them after I was dead. There was no need to wait. I’m so pleased I didn’t.”
I found this idea intriguing enough to read all of Barney’s book. While I didn’t enjoy his writing style or even agree with some of his personal philosophies (I’ve since seen some negative press about him, too), I did appreciate his generous spirit.
And I want it to inspire me to give away more in the moment, too. Too often I overthink it and wait too long to decide, then the opportunity runs out. I miss it altogether.
Five Simple Ways to Give Today
However, in the real world most of us do not have big money to give away, like Barney does. But gifts come in a variety of shapes and sizes. And when given now instead of just promised for later, they can make a real difference.
How can we show generosity with things other than money? We can:
- Show up with our time and presence
- Offer a skill or resource
- Share a meal together
- Listen with undivided attention
- Write a heartfelt note
After our lunch was over at the restaurant, my friend paid the bill, then passed a $100 bill to our waitress, encouraging her to buy that backpack for her daughter now to get her school year started off well.
The waitress’s eyes welled up with tears. She asked if she could give us a hug. As we exited the restaurant, we saw her run over to her coworkers and excitedly tell them what had happened.
The spontaneous gift from my friend brought her joy.
And seeing kindness in action made me happy, too.
Because the best time to be generous is now.
Don’t wait to be generous. What’s one generous act—big or small—you could do today without waiting? When has someone given generously to you?
Tell your story in the comments.
My thanks to NetGalley for the review
copy of The Happiness Experiment
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Such a precious story, Lisa! I love your thoughts on generosity. Too often people equate generosity with money, but there are many ways we can display a generous heart. So many people are hungry today for real connection, or belonging; to be seen or heard even for a moment. Loving our neighbor is often as simple as doing the things you listed above, which require so little of us. I have been appreciated more deeply for my generosity in those things than any time when I gave monetarily. And the joy which I receive is unparalleled.
My recent post is all about showing generous kindness to others, Lisa. I just loved this story! I’m sure this waitress will always be grateful. Blessings!
Lisa, as always, I LOVE THIS POST!!! Generosity. yes. Jesus says to give to those who ask. So often we attach strings, but we shouldn’t. He doesn’t ask us to qualify what the recipient will do. I recall a scene painted by Pastor David Henerson in his excellent book, Tranquility: Cultivating a Quiet Soul in a Busy World. It’s not what I expected and really enjoyed it. It’s about making the most of our time in meaningful ways. Tempis fugit! At any rate, he described a situation where he and his wife and another couple (if memory serves) were approached by a homeless person asking for $. Or maybe they had wondered if they should give $ (and the person didn’t approach). I simply can’t recall the exact circs. At any rate, the four of them dithered and dathered (a word?! 🙂 ) and couldn’t decide. They went through ALL kinds of mental gymnastics, wondering how the person would spend it–if he’d buy food–if he’d buy drugs. I think they even may have gone out to dinner to discuss it further! And on and on and on it went until you know what they did? NOTHING! that really convicted him later. Mike and I always have a little cash on hand to give to homeless at stop lights (careful though not to stop traffic in doing this). We try to give to charities (that we have researched, which are not scams) as best we are able. And we support a darling 11 y/o in the Dominican Republic. He is rich in ways I can’t imagine, grateful for all (the little!) he has, and thanking God for all of his life. I think there are many more ways we could give if we set our minds to it. And I love your other ideas. We can give the gifts of time, of a listening ear, of full-faced attention, of an empathetic heart, of bringing a dinner. Michael feeds (he has counted them!) over 100 “dog friends” w/ dog biscuits on our walks, WITH OWNER PERMISSION, of course. Lisa, YOU are most generous w/ your words, ideas, reading, and blog posts. I want to be generous just like you if I should ever grow up! And I love a new concept of a “living will” here. The author gave his $ while he is still alive as a way to enjoy people he loves. I love that idea. Anyway, going on too long here, but thank youfor this timely reminder. xo Lynn
Lisa, I enjoyed this post as it is good to think about how can we be generous each day with our time, our presence (not presents), and kindness. Being generous means giving without expectation of anything in return. When we think about it in that way, it really does open many doors!
Lisa, this is a nudge for me to be more purposeful, to live more mindfully, generously, gracious and kind.
Most all of those we connect with are going through something hard. May we have a compassionate heart and eyes to see and act, just like Jesus did . . .
Un-generosity is being promoted these days. What can we take away from people instead of what can we give? The reason is given that they don’t deserve it, didn ‘t earn it, it costs too much. But have any of us earned most of the blessings we have? One day this week, my husband’s car ran out of gas just as it exited a highway. He was about to walk to a gas station in the heat when a man stopped to help. He drove Raymond to the station, back to the car, then put the gas into the car for him. In thanks, Raymond gave him some money, although the Good Samaritan didn’t want it. Both of them were generous, one in time, one in money.
What a beautiful story!! I absolutely know the waitress was touched with the love of Jesus! In the past several months, my husband and I have both had several opportunities to be generous. The few hundred dollars that have left our bank account are as nothing compared to the joy of touching the heart of someone else!
How inspirational! what a kind gift your friend did too! My hubby and I have been trying to leave extra tips lately too. I was asked by our regional synod to help with a project and was surprised that they are paying me for the project. I said to my hubby we need to donate the money. Not sure where they money will go yet but we want to give it away locally to a non profit. God will show us. Your post affirmed this decision. Thanks
How generous of your friend, Lisa. Thank you for sharing five simple ways to give today with us at #weekendcoffeeshare.
I love, love, LOVE the ripple effect of stories like this. Thank you for sharing.
What a lovely anecdote, Lisa. Seeing a need and responding to it in a real way is something we all must cultivate.
Your suggestions are good. I’m going to be working on this!
What a beautiful RIPPLE of goodness!
I agree that NOW is the time to be generous, and some of my regrets have come from not being generous with my words in the moment—and then the opportunity passes…