Lisa notes

How to Win Your Fight with Time . . . in your four thousand weeks

By LisaNotes August 18, 2021 Book reviews, Encouragement, My stories 16 Comments

When Everything Slows You Down

The elevator still isn’t here. We’re stuck on the 8th floor lobby. We need to get down to the 1st.

My 3-month-old grandson has been a champ as we delivered free meals from apartment to apartment on the 1st floor up to the 8th.

He’s obliged us for almost two hours already, letting strangers ooh and ahh over him, smiling as the older ladies kiss his head, and sleeping when necessary as Jenna holds him on her chest in his carrier. It’s been a good, although hot, Monday afternoon.

But every baby has his limits. We don’t want to overstretch Henry’s. He’s almost due for his next feeding. Now that we’ve successfully given away all but the last two boxed dinners, it’s time to buckle Henry back into his carseat and take him home.

Yet everything is slowing us down.

Another Time Delay

From our 8th floor view, we see an ambulance parked out front. It’s blocking our car, if we ever get back to it.

Now the elevator finally arrives. But it’s too full for us and our cart.

We see a friend, Captain, inside the elevator in his wheelchair. We hold the elevator doors open to ask Captain if he wants a spaghetti dinner. He does. I offer our final two boxes. He says yes.

But when I hand them over, Captain says no. He doesn’t want to carry them himself. “Bring them to me on the 3rd floor,” he insists.

Sigh. Another delay.

The elevator doors snap closed. Down Captain goes. But here we still stand. And instead of going home, we need to make yet another stop on the 3rd floor to take these final two meals to a grumpy old man.

I tell Jenna I’ll take the stairs down to the 3rd floor, as she waits for the next available elevator. She says no, she’ll walk down with me.

We pull open the heavy stairway door and leave the daylight of the 8th floor lobby. We step into the faint darkness of the stairwell.

I start complaining. We trudge down dirty stairs for five flights, stepping over dried spaghetti noodles on the landing, avoiding touching the handrail at all costs.

But Henry is fine. No tears. No crying.

We’re still okay.

Can We Squeeze By?

We finally exit the stairs to enter the 3rd floor lobby. But it’s unusually crowded. Now what?

We see two paramedics. They’re standing by someone strapped onto their stretcher, wrapped tightly in a blanket. A few bystanders are watching.

Everyone is quiet.

I see the tousled hair of the patient from behind. It doesn’t look like anyone I know.

Can we just squeeze in front of this crowd and move on by? I want to get these two meals delivered to Captain and head home before Henry gets hungry for his own meal.

But as we walk past, we turn and look at the man on the stretcher.

Oh, no! It’s D!

D is one of our friends with cancer. He didn’t answer his door when we knocked an hour earlier. A medical worker came to the door instead. We asked him if D wanted a meal today, and D told him to tell us no thanks.

So we had walked on.

And now we see D here, being wheeled away to the hospital.

We call D’s name. We want him to know we see him. We don’t know if he recognizes us or not, but we tell him we’ll be praying for him. That we’ll be sending good thoughts his way. That we love him.

The elevator opens up to the 3rd floor lobby. And just like that, D is whisked away. He’s gone.

I just stand there. I’m stunned.

I almost missed this sacred moment.

Victory in Defeat

If we hadn’t had to make this unexpected stop on the 3rd floor to deliver these final two meals to grouchy ol’ Captain, we would have missed seeing D.

We wonder if we’ll ever see him again.

But we were given this one final opportunity. An unexpected one. An unplanned one. One I’m very grateful for.

Thank you, grumpy old man, for asking us to come down to the 3rd floor to give you your meals.

My biggest complaint of the afternoon opened into my most grateful moment of the afternoon.

Perhaps the best way to win my struggle with time is to cry uncle. To admit defeat.

When I stop trying to manage time too tightly, I can accept its finitude (and my own). I can be content with its limits.

And I can accept what each moment brings.

We deliver our final two meals.

And Henry never cries a minute.

* * *

Four Thousand Weeks

I obviously continue to wrestle (and lose) the battle of valuing productivity at all costs. I just finished a wonderful new book that helps win the fight against time.

“Assuming you live to be eighty, you’ll have had about four thousand weeks.”
– Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

How do I want to spend my four thousand weeks (assuming I get that many)? I like what the Burkeman says in Four Thousand Weeks:

“…approach life not as an opportunity to implement your predetermined plans for success but as a matter of responding to the needs of your place and your moment in history.”

My moment in history on Monday was to be on the 3rd floor lobby at the exact moment that D would be there.

I didn’t plan that. But I’m thankful for that singular moment in time to say good-bye to a friend that I might not see again.

It was a moment outside of time, outside of the “existential overwhelm” I often feel of having too much to do and not enough time to do it.

“Once you truly understand that you’re guaranteed to miss out on almost every experience the world has to offer, the fact that there are so many you still haven’t experienced stops feeling like a problem. Instead, you get to focus on fully enjoying the tiny slice of experiences you actually do have time for—and the freer you are to choose, in each moment, what counts the most.”

Four Thousand Weeks isn’t a spiritual book per se, but wow, it spoke to my spirituality a great deal.

“At the end of your life, looking back, whatever compelled your attention from moment to moment is simply what your life will have been. So when you pay attention to something you don’t especially value, it’s not an exaggeration to say that you’re paying with your life.”

I want to pay attention to people, to holy moments, to opportunities to love and be loved. Not just how to increase productivity and efficiency.

“This dream of somehow one day getting the upper hand in our relationship with time is the most forgivable of human delusions because the alternative is so unsettling. But unfortunately, it’s the alternative that’s true: the struggle is doomed to fail.”

I’ll never win my struggle with time, to cross off the last to-do item, to leave this world with a clean house. It’s only in the giving up—the accepting of reality—that my victory comes.

The best way to use my four thousand weeks? To use this minute well. Fill it with love. Get and stay attached to the people inside of it.

And do it all again in the next minute.

And the next and the next. . . . until my four thousand weeks (more or less) are all used up.

UPDATE
Monday would indeed be the last time I would see D. I received news that he passed on Saturday. He did not get his four thousand weeks. I will surely miss him.

Do you struggle too much with wanting to be productive and efficient with your time, too? Share in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the
review copy of Four Thousand Weeks

Has God Given You Reading and Writing to Do?

By LisaNotes August 16, 2021 Book quotes, Reading 15 Comments

“If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?”

It might surprise you to hear who said that.

It’s Stephen King.

Stephen King is not an author I usually read. Too scary. When his first break-through novel-turned-movie came on TV, I watched Carrie.

It was a mistake. Because King knows how to show a story you won’t forget. And I’d rather forget a story like Carrie, but I still haven’t.

Stephen King is that good.

He knows what he’s meant to do, so he does it. “If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?”

What has God given you to do?

There are days I couldn’t give you a clear answer. On some days I might see a lot of things God has given me to do. On other days, it may feel like nothing at all, and certainty nothing of importance.

But on most days, I feel a deep call from God to spend time with words. Writing, reading, learning, memorizing.

King must feel that urging, too. He knows he is meant to read and write. He explains it in his nonfiction book, On Writing.

In the book, King answers this question: “Do you do it for the money, honey?”

“The answer is no. Don’t now and never did.

“. . . I have written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side—I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for joy, you can do it forever.”

What brings you joy? What could you do forever? What delight has God planted in your heart?

Is it reading and writing, too? God has taught me SO much through reading, and I know he has much more to teach me through books. Authors are some of my most valued teachers.

And though I rarely label myself an author, even as I write, I learn, too. To make sense of a struggle, I often have to write it out. God works through words to bring me clarity and guidance.

I thank God for reading and writing. They both bring me joy.

Both reading and writing show me God.

Can you handle Stephen King books? (The only other King book I’ve read is 11/22/63; it was fabulous but also intense!) Do you call yourself a writer? A reader? Share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

Are You Resentful of the Pandemic, Too?
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes August 13, 2021 Grace & Truth Link-Up 8 Comments

How much has the pandemic cost you? Cost your family? Your community? The world?

It’s easy to be resentful of the chaos created by a tiny little virus. And then become more resentful of the tsunamis created by the ripple effects of the virus. The deaths, losses, destructions, on and on and on, have been piling up since the beginning of 2020.

I could make a list of all the pain that the pandemic continues to cause me personally and the world in general in 2021. I’ve already built up a stack of resentment in my mind.

But what will happen even further down the line if each of us don’t deal with our resentment? Beginning now, while we’re still in the midst of adding on to it?

In our featured post this week, Jennifer walks us through letting go of our resentment. She shares how resentment can hold us captive and taint all our relationships if we don’t let it go.

Read all of Jennifer’s encouraging post here on how, with God’s help, we can let go of resentment. Then add your own links below.

“LETTING GO OF RESENTMENT“

Have you built up some resentments, too, from the pandemic? Share your thoughts in the comments.

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

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5 Ways to Deal With Your Thousand Little Deaths

By LisaNotes August 9, 2021 Encouragement, Uncertainty: My One Word 2021 19 Comments

“If you’re suffering, it means you have a heart. Suffering is evidence of your capacity to love, and only those who understand suffering can understand life and help others.”
– Cuong Lu

A Thousand Deaths

I’m weary from the losses.

And all the things that go with it. Sleepless nights. Lots of crying. Endless questions.

In my circle, no one has died or moved far away lately (those are big deaths). We understand the grief left behind with big deaths. Intense pain is normal. It can last a long time.

But smaller changes can leave big holes, too. They also are painful. And these smaller deaths come more frequently. They add up.

It’s painful to let go of things we want to keep. But deaths keep coming. Change keeps happening.

My latest small death is a crushed dream. Like many small deaths (and sometimes large ones), it’s cloaked in uncertainty, especially in these early stages.

Some cuts are minor and heal quickly. But others slice deep and leave scars.

New pain can also trigger old pain. It mixes and mingles and we have trouble sorting it out. The small death I’m handling now is sending me back to past big deaths. The suffering is increased by the memories.

I don’t know yet if this cut will be resolved quickly and heal. Or if it will dig in and last a long time. I’m hoping for the former.

5 Ways to Deal With Small Deaths

So what do we do with these thousand small deaths we experience?

Here are 5 ways to handle small deaths before they squeeze the life out of you.

1. EXPECT DEATH

Isn’t the worst thing about loving a pet knowing it will likely die in a short span? It sounds gruesome, but just as we understand every living being will die a physical death, we also should expect other small deaths along the way.

It helps to accept death. With the uncertainty of life, we can never predict exactly which deaths we’ll experience. But it’s guaranteed they will happen. They all come: sad losses, neutral losses, and even good losses (sometimes we WANT things to die, such as a negative circumstance).

Change is a constant. Expect it. Experience it. Grieve it. Go to it’s funeral.

And know that another change will soon take its place.

We can understand life better when we understand death better.

2. LET THINGS DIE

I have a hard time deciding when to clean up my flower beds at the end of the summer. As long as there’s one sickly bud hanging onto one sickly stem, I hold on to hope.

But sometimes it’s healthier to let things die in their appropriate season and be done with it. People drift away; circumstances change; seasons shift. It helps no one to hold on to dead things. If nothing died, what a mess we would be in.

When a natural life cycle is complete, let it die. Something new is waiting to grow in its place.

3. GIVE THINGS AWAY

Other times, things may need to change, but we refuse to let them go. I’ve developed a bad habit of putting clothes I no longer wear into the spare bedroom closet. But do I ever return and wear any of those clothes again? Not yet. I need to just give them away to start with.

We often hang on too long to a toxic work situation or an unhealthy group dynamic or an abusive relationship because it’s painful to imagine life without it. But isn’t it more painful to stay?

Making an intentional decision to walk away feels like a death. But until we do, we continue to die ourselves. Giving up on a bad situation allows breathing room for new life.

4. HOLD THINGS LOOSELY

Researchers says we hold tightly to a possession once we own it, even if it’s just a free tote bag we were handed from a job fair. Because it’s now “mine,” I want to keep it.

But maybe life would be easier—and thus death easier, too—if we’d hold things loosely to start with, instead of clinging so tightly from the beginning.

Don’t grab hold and claim complete ownership of children, of money, of beauty. Keep an open hand. We can still love strong, while holding loosely.

Recognizing we’re just temporary stewards of life’s gifts, not permanently-entitled owners, is a healthier way to pass through this world.

5. BE WILLING TO START OVER

Don’t outrun your grief. Give it its time.

But eventually after every death, start again. Return to life. As Sharon Salzberg says,

“The healing is in the return.”

Salzberg says not only can we learn how to start over, but we can do it with more compassion for ourselves and for others, with less judging and harsh treatment. (Listen to Sharon Salzberg’s amazing interview here with Krista Tippett on the On Being podcast.)

We can make a course correction to begin again after every death, when the time is right. And begin again and again and again.

A Thousand + One Lives

I’m still in the middle of uncertainty with my newest small death. As I mourn, I’m trusting mercy and goodness that comes to me, even in my grief.

I cry tears out; fresh grace pours in. I fall apart; I put myself back together. (Often with the help of my husband and others; thank you, Jeff and others).

I’m not happy about it. But I have to accept death, even the smaller ones, as they come. The uncertainty of death is a given.

Don’t underestimate death. But don’t let it dominate you either. Grief is often the beginning of transformation. Release things as they die in preparation to receive new things as they rise up.

New life is as guaranteed as death. We see resurrections every day, too.

Resurrection might not look like we expect. Or come when we want it. Most things rarely do. But that’s okay. Each resurrection is beautiful in its time. Watch for it.

“Resurrection will always take care of itself, whenever death is trusted.”
– Richard Rohr

Accept the inevitability of a thousand little deaths. It opens into a thousand and one new lives . . . if we’re willing to start over, receiving each new life slightly different than the one before.

Look for signs of new life in each individual death.

Life and love are stronger than death. May they live on forever.

I sometimes regret choosing UNCERTAINTY as my One Word this year. It’s been uncomfortable. (Maybe IMPERMANENCE would have been more palatable?) But it is reality. I’m processing it here today.

How are you coping with the large and small deaths around you this past year? What are you afraid of losing? Share in the comments.

Past, Present, or Future: Where Do You Get Stuck?
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes August 6, 2021 Grace & Truth Link-Up 2 Comments

I’ve already begun packing. I’m still a few days away from traveling, but I like to think ahead.

Too much ahead.

I’m a planner. It can be a useful thing most of the time (including packing a few days ahead of time!). I can get more things accomplished efficiently and easily when I plan responsibly.

But the downside of enjoying planning so much? I can miss out on the present.

But one thing I’m learning is that this moment is never a throw-away. The middle moments aren’t meant to be wasted; they’re meant to be lived.

I even used NOW as my One Word in 2015 to specifically concentrate on staying present with God (here are 4 lessons I learned on living in the now, but I’m still working on it).

That’s why I appreciate Lynn’s measured approach in this week’s featured post, “What Is Being Present in the Moment (And Is It Even Realistic?).”

I recommend you read it, too, if you find yourself getting stuck in either the past or the future, or unable to think about anything but the present. We all have our unique stumbling blocks, yet we all can benefit from Lynn’s “Simply Daily Goals” of praying, defining 3 goals, visualizing their completion, and reviewing our day each evening.

Read all of Lynn’s post here, then add your own blog posts below.

“WHAT IS BEING PRESENT IN THE MOMENT (AND IS IT EVEN REALISTIC?)”

Are you more oriented toward the past, the present, or the future? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks for sharing, Lynn! Here’s a button for your blog.

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
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Is the Word of God a What or a Who?
—Plus 8 Quotes from A More Christlike Word

By LisaNotes August 4, 2021 Bible, Book reviews, Jesus, Memorization 22 Comments

“It is Christ himself, not the Bible, who is the true word of God. The Bible, read in the right spirit and with the guidance of good teachers, will bring us to him.”
– C. S. Lewis

Give Thanks, Not Worship

I grew up on Sword Drills and Bible Bowls. I could quickly turn to any text called out, Old or New Testament, as quick as lightning. I knew Bible trivia to answer any question thrown into the ring for competition. I had notebook after notebook full of Bible verses I’d written from Sunday morning sermons.

The people in my denomination were known as “walking Bibles.” We were people of the book. We thought we had figured out the Bible. At least I thought so.

But did I know Jesus? Was I prioritizing loving God and loving others, the first and second great commandments according to Jesus’s words in the Bible (Matthew 22:36-40)?

I’m thankful for the rigorous education I got on the Bible. It taught me the bones of the Bible, which continues to prove valuable to me.

I still read the Bible. I still study the Bible. I still memorize passages of the Bible.

I give thanks for the Bible.

But I don’t want to worship the Bible. I don’t want to be a bibliolater (one who makes an idol of the Bible, placing it as equal with God).

Heart for the Living Word

Perhaps I did qualify as a practicing bibliolater in those days. I concentrated more on the written words than the Living Word.

That was then. It was what I knew.

But this is now. My heart belongs to the Living Word, not the written word.

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” (Thanks, Maya Angelou).

I still tremendously value the written words from God, don’t get me wrong. I learned and continue to learn about and from Jesus through the written words (and also through experiences with him, in conversations with you, in the testimonies of believers throughout the ages, etc.). I’ll finish up the 2-year Bible Reading Plan again on Friday (even though it took me longer than 2 years again).

But I don’t worship the messenger. My delight is in who the message is about.

“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.”
John 5:39-40

Even the Bible Says So

Perhaps it sounds as if I’m just nitpicking words. But I’m just trying to prioritize my values.

When I give you my word, I give you my truth, my promise, my reputation. When God gives us his word, he does the same but amplified: he gives us Jesus.

We read it in the Bible itself: Jesus is the Word.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.”
John 1:1-3

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”
John 1:14

I appreciate how Bradley Jersak says it,

“I’ve met the Word of God, and he’s far more than a book.”

Is the Word of God a what or a who? My answer is a who.

It’s Jesus.

8 Quotes from A More Christlike Word

For more explanations, research, and scriptures, I recommend a fantastic new book I just finished by Bradley Jersak, A More Christlike Word: Reading Scripture the Emmaus Way. He goes into detail on these issues (and dozens more).

You might not agree with everything Jersak says. That’s okay. I offer my usual caveat for this book as I do others:

You don’t have to agree with everything to get value from some.

Here are 8 excerpts from Jersak’s book. See what you think.

1. A BEARD

“The Word of God is Jesus Christ. I believe that the Word of God is inspired, infallible, and inerrant. And when he was about eighteen years old, he grew a beard.”

2. THE LIVING VOICE

“Christ gets the final word, and the Scriptures testify to his authority. I relate to Christ as God’s Word and to the Bible as one (and not the only) venue where I can hear the living Voice.”

3. HEAR THE FATHER

“It’s possible to spend a lifetime studying the Bible without once hearing the Father or knowing the Word.”

4. ORIENT YOURSELF

“We might say the proper orientation for entering Scripture is love for God, humility before God, and openness to God.”

5. RIGHT HAND OF GOD

“We see this subversion [of bibliolatry] when the Bible is elevated to the right hand of the Father and honored with the title “Word of God”—the name that belongs to Jesus Christ alone.”

6. READ FOR GOSPEL

“Do we read our own biases into the text? YES. Should we? NO. But we should and must read the gospel into the text AND from the text, or we risk reducing our Bible to the same dead letter the Pharisees read so fruitlessly.”

7. STUDY HOW TO STUDY

“Studying the Scriptures includes studying how to study the Scriptures.”

8. OUR STORY IS . . .

“[The cross of Christ] reveals the gracious heart of the Father who has always been, is now, and will always be perfectly revealed in Jesus. And that, my friends, is our Story.”

Do you have a complicated history with the Bible too? Share in the comments.

UPCOMING

Coming this fall we’ll join the Hide His Word memorizing community to take a 6-weeks online walk together through 1 John 1.

You get to choose your preferred approach, including any or all of these:

Memorize the words
Read the ten verses in different translations
Meditate on the truths verse by verse
Do a deep-dive study of the chapter.

We’ll provide the resources, the community, and the encouragement. Our goal is to enhance our experience with the Word in deeper relationship.

We’ll officially begin after Labor Day, but we’ll prepare our hearts this month.

Get on the list now to receive the resources as they become available.

My thanks to Speakeasy for the
review copy of A More Christlike Word