Lisa notes

Let Love Be the Tiebreaker

By LisaNotes August 2, 2021 Encouragement, Grandparenting 10 Comments

Should we rank our values? Typically our noble virtues don’t clash.

But when they do? Let love be the tiebreaker.

First Intentional Act

On the first night after our little grandson was born, Jeff and I had dog duty at his house. We’d promised Jenna and Trey that we’d feed their dogs while they were at the hospital.

We walk into little Henry’s nursery. Everything looks beautiful. Even though he came three weeks early, Jenna is mostly prepared.

But one thing is out of order.

I see it on the carpet. It isn’t supposed to be there.

A spider.

It isn’t a big hairy one or a scary long-legged one. But nonetheless, a spider in a baby’s room is anathema.

I ask Jeff to kill it. He does.

It is our first act of intentional care for our grandson.

Which Value Is Greatest?

Sometimes the things we do for others are small in the grand scheme of things. Actually, most are small. Cook a meal. Send a text. Feed the dogs.

But small things are important things.

Every act of love is important. Size? No matter.

When Henry grows up, he’ll be faced with choosing his own values:

  • How should I treat my neighbors?
  • How can I help my friends?
  • How do I care for my family (especially Granna! lol)?

Loving others will always be the best answer, whatever the question. Loving other people is our divine calling. Loving other people is how we love God. Love is walking on holy ground.

Of the many values we hope our grandbaby Henry will learn (excellence, freedom, loyalty, fairness, humility, community, faith, hope, love, …) the greatest of these will be love.

And in those rare occasions when one virtue comes at the expense of another virtue (should you choose sacrifice over freedom? community over independence?), and he has to choose, I hope he’ll choose love as the tiebreaker. Love as the most important. Every time. Over everything. Even among faith and hope, choose love (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Love. It is indeed the greatest of these.

Even when it’s only killing a tiny spider in a baby’s room before he ever makes it home.

When have you sacrificed freedom for love, pleasure for love, success for love, somewhere along the way? Please share in the comments.

RELATED READING:

The Day Henry Was Bornhow-does-it-feel-to-be-alone

How does it feel to be alone? Will you discover an unexpected visitor behind the next door?

Is This the One Thing We Need? One thing we need
If there’s one thing we need right now, it’s grace. God gives it to us to give back to others.

When Hope Feels Dangerous
When Hope Feels Dangerous
Our hope for the future isn’t defined by our past. Here’s why to practice hope, even when it feels dangerous.

On the Blog—July 2021

By LisaNotes July 31, 2021 Archives No Comments

Here are brief summaries and links to all the posts on the blog in July 2021.

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Just Being Here Is Reason to Celebrate
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes July 30, 2021 Encouragement, Grace & Truth Link-Up 3 Comments

Remember the saying, “God don’t make no junk”? It’s corny but true.

Just being here is reason to celebrate.

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I remember the saying became popular a few years’ back.

It appeared on billboards, t-shirts, your parents’ email forwards.

I know I'm special'cause God don't make no junk

Corny, but clear. The message remains valid.

If you’re here, you matter.

You deserve dignity, honor, respect simply because you’re here. You’re one of God’s own. You’re important.

While we *know* it’s true, sometimes we don’t *feel* it’s true. We don’t recognize our inherent value. We don’t understand that our worth isn’t tied up in what we do or how we look or where we live. We may sometimes not even want to be here.

But just being here is reason enough to celebrate you. Because you are a living representation of God.

God created you as a living celebration of himself.

That’s your foundational truth. And mine. Each of us.

None of us are junk. All of us are valuable.

Because we’ve each inhaled the breath of God.

Featured Post—Do This for 5 Minutes

Astrid writes bravely and honestly on her blog about her mental health journey as a childhood trauma survivor. I appreciate the lessons I learn from her on resilience and God and love.

Last week she linked up a post about being born premature, about wondering if her life started as a mistake based on bad math.

But while reading a devotional on YouVersion by a woman who had survived a stroke, Astrid heard something about herself, too.

“God chose for me to be kept alive and that’s what matters.”

Read all of Astrid’s post here, then add your own blog links below.

“I AM NOT A CALCULATION MISTAKE”

Do you sometimes doubt your worth? Do you ever wonder why you’re here? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks for sharing, Astrid! Here’s a button for your blog.

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1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.   

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

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Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

7 Books I Recommend—July 2021

By LisaNotes July 28, 2021 Books I Recommend 28 Comments

“I woke up thinking a very pleasant thought. There is lots left in the world to read.”
– Nicholson Baker

Below are books I recommend from what I finished reading in July. 

[See previously recommended books here]

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Nonfiction

1. We Need to Talk
How to Have Conversations that Matter
by Celeste Headlee

we-need-to-talk

Ugh. We’ve all either had hard conversations this past year or else we’ve needed to but put them off. This book shows us how to have more productive dialogues. Headlee include five key strategies: be curious, check your bias, show respect, stay the course, and end well. I succeed in some ways, but fail miserably in others. I already need to re-read this book and I just finished it.

2. Think Again
The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know
by Adam M. Grant

think-again

It’s okay to have doubts. It’s actually beneficial to have doubts. This book gives evidence that rethinking our stances is more important than we realize. And it’s a skill we can each learn to do.

“The goal is not to be wrong more often. It’s to recognize that we’re all wrong more often than we’d like to admit, and the more we deny it, the deeper the hole we dig for ourselves.”

3. Kent State
by Deborah Wiles

kent-state

Very intriguing. This book is written as an oral conversation. As you read, you hear the voices of those who were at Kent State University, May 4, 1970, when four American students were killed by National Guardsmen. This is a Young Adult book, but I learned a lot.

4. White Awake
An Honest Look at What It Means to Be White
by Daniel Hill

white-awake

Highly recommend! Sometimes we white people don’t realize there is such a thing as white culture.

“I was oblivious to what I didn’t even know. I was blind, but I didn’t know I was blind. And that’s the most dangerous blindness of all.”

If we want to be more fully aware of other cultures, we need to be more aware of our own. And how our culture affects other cultures, for good and for bad. Daniel Hill does an excellent job in laying this out for us from a moral and spiritual perspective so we can be better people to all people. 

“We have encountered race daily since the day we were born. But we’re taught to internalize white culture as normal, so we’re unaware of the profound ways race shaped us during our early years. Not until we have an interruption connected to a person of color or a confrontation with overt racism do we begin to see something outside our cultural norm.”

5. Becoming Kareem
Growing Up On and Off the Court
by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

becoming-kareem

Although this is a young adult book, I found it excellent for us older folks too who actually remember Kareem Abdul-Jabbar through the years. He tells about his childhood in New York City and his rise to basketball stardom. I appreciate hearing the hard choices he often had to make, and how he chose integrity.

Fiction

6. The Book of Longings
by Sue Monk Kidd 

the-book-of-longings

This is fiction; remember that. Then dive into this fascinating story of Ana, the wife of Jesus, a curious girl raised in a wealthy family. The book focuses more on Ana than Jesus, but it is rooted in many historical and biblical facts (just not the marriage part). It gives a fresh perspective of life in the times of Jesus.

7. The Midnight Library
by Matt Haig

the-midnight-library

Such an interesting premise! This novel is about a special library with an infinite number of books detailing all the different lives that one can experience. The main character Nora Seed finds herself there and must make choices. I zipped through this book. It’s also a wonderfully narrated audiobook. 

Reading Now

  • A More Christlike Word
    Reading Scripture the Emmaus Way
    by Bradley Jersak
  • How God Works
    The Science Behind the Benefits of Religion
    by David DeSteno
  • Murder Your Darlings
    And Other Gentle Writing Advice from Aristotle to Zinsser
    by Roy Peter Clark
  • Scarcity
    Why Having Too Little Means So Much
    by Sendhil Mullainathan
  • Four Thousand Weeks
    Time Management for Mortals
    by Oliver Burkeman
  • Open and Relational Theology
    An Introduction to Life-Changing Ideas
    by Thomas Jay Oord
  • If God Is Love, Don’t Be a Jerk
    Finding a Faith That Makes Us Better Humans
    by John Pavlovitz

What good book are YOU reading this month? Please share in the comments.

My books on Goodreads
More books I recommend

Share Four Somethings—July 2021

By LisaNotes July 26, 2021 Life updates 20 Comments

Each month I share four somethings. From July, here is something I love, something I read, something I treasure, and something ahead. I’m sharing at Heather’s.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Loved

  • BUFFER, A SCHEDULING APP 

Because I’m such a planner, I love apps that allow me to schedule things in advance. One of my favorites is Buffer for scheduling tweets on Twitter.

I use it almost daily to schedule a quote to publish at 6:36 a.m. on weekdays (you can create your own schedule; 6:36 has special meaning to me) or to schedule a tweet about blog posts in the afternoons or to spread out tweets from around the web.

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~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Read 

  • QUOTES FROM HERE AND THERE

I rarely go searching for a quote, but they arrive anyway. From books I’m reading, from someone else’s blog post, from a podcast, etc.

Here are four more quotes I’m sharing on Twitter this week that I found in various places. They each made me pause. Just a second more than normal. And think.

  • Tuesday
    “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
    —Steven Wright
  • Wednesday
    “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
    —Henry David Thoreau
  • Thursday
    “Tell your own story and you will be interesting.”
    —Louise Bourgeois
  • Friday
    “I always tell anyone criticizing me, ‘You could be right.’ It has a nice double edge; sometimes the victim never feels a thing.”
    —Jerry Saltz

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Treasured

  • RETURNING TO FRIENDS

I’ve not seen my friends at one of our local housing units since the pandemic began. I was finally able to return this month after the authorities granted us access again to bring meals from our food bank. I am thrilled to see their faces and catch up!

And to top it off, my youngest daughter Jenna and grandson are going to regularly visit the residents with me. You can only imagine how thrilled our friends were last Monday when we walked in with a baby! It was an emotional boost that we all needed. As long as the covid numbers don’t increase too much, we’ll get to continue on a weekly basis. 

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However, I discovered too many residents either died in the past year or moved to nursing homes or just moved away. We never got to say good-bye. I miss them. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Ahead

  • A GIRLS’ TRIP

I hope we’re not pushing our covid freedoms, but my three girlfriends and I are going to one of their parents’ condos in two weeks for a few days on the beach at Gulf Shores, Alabama. (We’ve all four been vaccinated.)

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We try to stay connected with each other throughout the year with a few dinners, emails, and a sleepover, but it’s much nicer to have four days to spend together to catch up on each others’ lives more fully. 

previous Share Four Somethings

What’s a highlight from your July? What are you looking forward to in August? Share in the comments.

Hands Off? When It’s Hard to Be Quiet
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes July 23, 2021 Grace & Truth Link-Up 23 Comments

Do you really want my advice?

Or do I need to stay hands off and be quiet?

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Listening to the Young Moms

I’m sitting in the rocking chair in my living room, holding my newest grandbaby as he sleeps. I’m listening to the young moms in the room. They’re sharing their experiences of parenting in front of their parents.

And how difficult it can be.

I lean in closer. I want to hear them clearly.

This is what they say: As young parents, they want encouragement from us, their parents.

They want our support. They want our presence. They want our love.

And they even want our advice, when needed.

But they don’t want our judgment.

My Advice?

That’s where it gets tricky with us older parents and now grandparents. Our advice isn’t as needed as often as we think.

And especially not when it flows out of judgment.

Sure, we do know some hacks and tricks. We have solid advice to give. We have years of wisdom built in.

Yet part of our wisdom requires our exercise of discernment, knowing what to share and what not to share, when to step in and when to back off.

I’m still on the learning curve. It’s hard to stay hands-off (or more importantly, mouth-closed) when I want to step in and make things easier for my kids with their kids.

But as I hear one of the young mothers saying now:

“You all had your turn. Now it’s our turn.”

Our Turn for Discretion

And she’s right. We’ve been in their shoes, but they no longer fit us.

We usually know it deep down. It’s just hard to put it into practice on the surface.

We can learn to do it though. It just takes practice. Not just in parenting relationships, but in ANY relationship. 

And as we practice keeping our advice to ourselves unless asked, we’ll mess up. We’ll often say the wrong thing at the wrong time. We’ll sometimes interfere when we should have butted out.

Even though our wrinkles suggest otherwise, we’re still new to the game ourselves. We still are growing. We still are being transformed into the image of Christ at a slower pace than we (and our kids) might prefer.

But as in the past, so also in the future:

God gives enough grace to go around.

There’s hands-on grace for the grandkids when they make mistakes. There’s hands-on grace for the parents when they make mistakes.

And there’s hands-on grace for us older generation when we make mistakes, too.

None of us are immune from the human condition of falls and failures. But neither are any of beyond the reach of God’s hands of relentless and unfailing love. From him to us. And from us to each other.

Let Love wipe away a lot of offenses (1 Peter 4:8).

Featured Post—On Trust

Lauren Spark’s words spoke to my soul when I read them this week:

And in His kind way, God whispered, “I will speak truth into the mess.” and “I love them even more than you do.” and “I can handle it.” I confess that this initially caused me additional anxiety. But if I’m honest, I also felt relief. I can’t know. I can’t do. I can only pray and be.

I thank God that I don’t have to know how to fix every relationship problem. And that sometimes I don’t even need to do anything. Except step back and let God work.

“I can only pray and be.”

Read all of Lauren’s post here at her blog, then link up your own blog posts below.

“AN UPDATE ON TRUST – ONE WORD 2021”

How hard is it for you to stay hands-off and be quiet? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read More:

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1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.   

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

blank

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter