Lisa notes

Why Do You Ask? {Mantra 25}
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes February 25, 2022 Grace & Truth Link-Up, Mantras 8 Comments

John Steinbeck calls it “a good ear.”

It’s the ability to listen below the surface.

Maybe we don’t need to use this in every conversation (but maybe so?).

But for many conversations, it would benefit our relationships if can use our “good ear.”

In The Listening Life, Adam McHugh encourages us to approach others with curiosity and empathy. Instead of assuming we know what the other person thinks or will say next, realize we don’t know. Listen instead. And use “why” as your best friend.

Some of the “why” questions that McHugh suggests we ask to dive underneath a surface conversation are:

Why is that important to you?
Why do you feel that way?
Why does that bother you?

But McHugh also suggests another time to ask a “why” question. Instead of immediately answering a request for advice with a statement, instead ask another question:

Why do you ask?

By asking, “Why do you ask?” we move a step closer to the heart of the other person. The conversation may turn to the real reason they’ve chosen this topic to talk about.

McHugh writes,

“What unites us is love, flowing between us through the power of the Holy Spirit. When we listen to one another, and give others permission to be their own person and think their own thoughts, we love one another.”

I don’t remember to use this question very often. I want to remember to use it more.

Why do you ask?

Featured Post

Uncovering our true selves with each other is a positive step toward intimacy with each other and with God.

In our featured post today, Maryleigh says we need to give ourselves permission to truly be ourselves.

“Sometimes, it’s feels like I’m waiting for permission to be me, like I need an authoritative or official certificate of permission to be who God designed me to be. Stop waiting for permission!”

When we do this, we also give ourselves permission to love others as we were made to love.

“Be you! Be love! All sorts of good things live in a soul that loves like that!”

Read all of Maryleigh’s wonderful post here, then add your own links below.

“Love Doesn’t Need Permission – Love Anyway”

How often do you give yourself permission to just be you? Share in the comments.

You are on Day #25 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

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“They don’t have to understand” {Mantra 24}

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“Let go or be dragged” {Mantra 26}

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

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They Don’t Have to Understand {Mantra 24}

By LisaNotes February 24, 2022 Mantras 15 Comments

They don’t have to understand.

This is one of the hardest mantras for me to accept.

I really like to be understood.

When Jeff and I have a disagreement, I’m okay if he doesn’t agree with my opinion. But I really want him to understand what I’m saying.

But there are times when people won’t understand. Or won’t even try.

And although that hurts, I want to be less offended by it and not take it personally.

I’m still learning how to release this desire to be understood. I’m digging at the roots.

I do realize it’s impossible to be understood by everybody all the time.

It’s impossible to even understand ourselves all the time.

So as I continue to practice this mantra, I want to remember this:

Not only do others not have to understand us all the time, we don’t even have to tell our side of the story every time.

We will be misunderstood. We will misunderstand others. This will happen again and again.

But if we’re trying to understand ourselves, sometimes that is enough. Not always, but sometimes.

And if we let it, not being understood can be an opportunity to grow in humility. I understand I need that.

Share in the comments.

Read More:

You are on Day #24 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

Previous:
“Whatever happens, we’ll handle it” {Mantra 23}

Next:
“Why do you ask?” {Mantra 25}

Love Matters More {Mantra 22}

By LisaNotes February 22, 2022 Mantras 13 Comments

You may be a talented artist. Or a proficient accountant. Or a magnificent teacher.

But if you know how to love well?

You’re the friend we all want.

Love matters more.

There are a multitude of ways to love. There are as many ways as people.

And each way is important.

However you choose, love someone today. That’s what people need the most from you.

Isn’t this how we want to be known? “They loved well.”

Whatever you want to say—whether truth or advice or opinion—first run it through the filter of love.

Whatever you do—whether art or accounting or teaching or anything else—do it from love. With love. For love.

“The highest form of truth is a life of love.”
– Jared Byas

Love no matter where. Love no matter how. Love no matter what.

Not “love, but…”

Just “love.”

Love matters more.

Share in the comments.

Read More:

You are on Day #22 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

Previous:
“Just show up” {Mantra 21}

Next:
“Whatever happens, we’ll handle it” {Mantra 23}

One Word 2022 Linkup—February

By LisaNotes February 22, 2022 One Word Community 21 Comments

Share Your One Word Update

Do you still remember your One Word of the year? Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

And if you’ve written a blog post, link up below.

3 Challenges for your One Word

Here are 3 sensory challenges with your word for the next 30 days:

1. SEE IT

Put your word where you can see it often. Write it on a post-it note to stick on your refrigerator. Make a wallpaper design for your phone. Or go all out and create a vision board for your office.

2. HEAR IT

Listen to a song that is themed around your word (it doesn’t have to include your actual word). Record yourself reading a quote about your word that you can listen to. Save the spot on your audio Bible that contains a scripture you’ve chosen about your word.

3. TOUCH IT

Find a way to connect your body with your word.

Examples:

For HOPE, put your hand on your heart and imagine filling it full of hope.
For JOY, do a little dance each morning.
For GRATITUDE, put your hands together in thanks to God for the good things God’s given you this week.

Giveaway Winner

Congratulations to Bev! She was the random winner of our January linkup contest.

She received this beautiful wooden tray made just for her by Randy Flowers with Bev’s one word, JOY. Thanks again, Randy!

Follow Randy on Instagram @woodshopmade to see more of his amazing work.

This linkup will remain open through Monday, February 28.

The next One Word linkup will open on Tuesday, March 22 (every One Word linkup in 2022 will be on the 22nd).

Leave a comment here about your One Word.

Link Up About Your One Word!

Say Yes to This Moment {Mantra 21}

By LisaNotes February 21, 2022 Mantras 9 Comments

My mind drifts forward. I have things to do this week that I’m excited about (babysitting my grandson for one!).

I also think to the past. I remember a joke my oldest granddaughter used to share with me. I laugh.

Back and forth and in-between, my mind wanders all day long.

Occasionally I land here, in the moment. This moment. And I remember, oh yes, this is where I’m supposed to be right now!

This moment is the only one we ever have. This is where God is most present.

Living too much in the past can cause guilt or sadness. Living too much in the future can cause anxiety or fear. Time is the root of suffering when there’s not enough presence.

Say yes to this moment.

Of course we need to think ahead to the future. And we find joy in thinking back to the past.

Planning ahead and reminiscing about the past are both good uses of the present.

But not to the exclusion of the present.

So for today, I’ll say yes to noticing what is happening now.

I’ll say yes to listening to this person who is talking.
I’ll say yes to savoring this meal as I eat it.
I’ll say yes to the water in the shower and the prayer with God and the conversations with friends and the walk to the mailbox, all the little things that make up a day, one short moment at a time.

The small individual moments are actually the biggest moments of all.

There is enough in this moment.

Say yes to this moment.

Do you naturally drift more to the past or to the future? (I lean toward the future.) Or do you stay firmly in the present? Share in the comments.

Read More:

You are on Day #21 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

See the Mantras Table of Contents here

Previous:
“The greatest of these is love” {Mantra 20}

Next:
“Love matters more” {Mantra 22}

The Greatest of These Is Love {Mantra 20}

By LisaNotes February 20, 2022 Mantras 6 Comments

When you want to feel better, love.
When you don’t know what to do, love.
When you want to do something special, love.

The greatest of these is love.

The apostle Paul wrote that these three remained: faith, hope, and love.

Faith (a conviction, a belief, a persuasion) is something within us.
Hope (an expectation, a confidence) is also something within us.

But love?

Love (an affection, benevolence, good will) is something we give outside of ourselves.

Love reaches out to to meet the needs of others. Love cares about others. Love is vulnerable to others.

God loves us. So we love God and love others and love self.

God is love.
God is greatest.
The greatest of these is love.

Share in the comments.

You are on Day #20 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

Previous:
“You are never alone” {Mantra 19}

Next:
“Say yes to this moment” {Mantra 21}