Lisa notes

Discrimination—An inside view

By LisaNotes March 5, 2014 Community, Discrimination, My stories 33 Comments

It’s a touchy subject. I’m uncomfortable bringing it up. I’d rather ignore racial lines altogether—I know we’re all the same!—but sometimes if we want to know what we’re blind to on the outside, we need to ask an insider.

After reading about Auburn University commemorating 50 years of integration this year, I began wondering how today’s students feel.

What does racial discrimination look like now? Is it still among us?

So I decided to just ask. And prayed I wouldn’t look like a bigot because of the asking.

I sent a note to one of Jenna’s friends in AU Gospel Choir—Chris—a young African-American man that I’d already grown to admire. I considered him my friend, too.

Yet would approaching him with questions about discrimination mess that up?

2014-02-16 Chris

“Hey Chris,
Hope this isn’t too weird a request . . . ”

He couldn’t have been nicer in his response.

Yet I cried anyway.

Because yes, he’s seen discrimination.
Yes, he’s heard it.
Yes, he’s felt it.

It isn’t something he dwells on, but he’s aware of it when it happens.

Even though he was brought up to be open-minded, to see people as individuals, he knows not everybody else has been.

We know that in our homes is where most of it starts. What are we teaching?

As Chris said, “Nobody is born discriminating against one another, it’s something that’s seen and then learned.”

So I asked him a few more awkward questions; he answered each with grace and with assurance I could keep asking more. (And to be fair, I told him if he had any questions for middle-aged white women, ask away.)

As our conversations deepened, so did my respect for him. Not only because of his refusal to be crippled by the ups and downs he’s already experienced, but also because of the dreams he has for the future. To be a voice to younger kids; to be a better father one day than some fathers he has seen; to keep looking to God as the one true Father of all of us.

So did I learn more about discrimination? Definitely. It’s enlightening information to me.

But the greater joy was in learning more about a fellow human being. The outer journey—questions, words, knowledge—was good. But the inner journey was better—friendship, hope, connectedness.

Ultimately, unity and love is what will destroy discrimination.
One friendship at a time.

* * *

chris-national-anthem

And now for a little bragging—it’s allowed because we’ve adopted Chris as our godson—here’s a link to Chris singing the National Anthem at one of two recent Auburn University athletic events.  Don’t you think he’s awesome, too?

Where do you still see discrimination?
What can we do about it?
Please share.

Practice on yourself–Compassion

By LisaNotes March 3, 2014 Compassion 20 Comments
  • How kind are you to yourself?
  • If you judged others like you judge yourself, would you have any friends?
  • When times are hard, do you show yourself the same tenderness you’d show another?

Compassion for yourself is Step 3 in Karen Armstrong’s Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life (all 12 steps listed below). I’m working on one step per month for my One Year 2014: Compassion.

twelve-steps-to-compassionate-life

If we really loved others as we loved ourselves, how would that look?

What I discovered is that while I can be gentle with myself when times are hard, I’m also very judgmental of my faults when I fail. And while I’m never to be satisfied with my sinful nature, I’m also not to condemn myself for it since I am in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Accepting God’s grace for ourselves just like we preach it to others is one of the ways God transforms us into who he wants us to be.

Another way to increase our self-compassion is to acknowledge to ourselves the suffering we’ve been through. When we deny our own circumstances, we shut off opportunities for healing (and we also won’t be as compassionate on others in similar situations).

Armstrong says that while we may feel embarrassed by the triviality of our own suffering compared to suffering we see in the world, it is still real to us. Don’t discount it.

“Make a deliberate effort to inhabit those moments fully and send a message of encouragement and sympathy to your former self. The object of this exercise is not to leave you wallowing in self-pity. The vivid memory of painful times past is a reservoir on which you can draw when you try to live according to the Golden Rule.”

She suggests you “draw on the warmth of friendship that you know exists potentially in your mind and direct it to yourself.”

Ironically, the more we treat ourselves like we would treat others, the less focused we become on ourselves, transcending our self-obsession that causes us (and others) unnecessary pain.

Practice on yourself. Be compassionate to you; it will help you be more compassionate to others. 

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compassion-one-word-2014

How can you show yourself compassion this week? How would that end up benefiting others as well? Please share.

The Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life (Karen Armstrong):

  1. Learn about compassion
  2. Look at your own world
  3. Compassion for yourself
  4. Empathy
  5. Mindfulness
  6. Action
  7. How little we know
  8. How should we speak to one another?
  9. Concern for everybody
  10. Knowledge
  11. Recognition
  12. Love your enemies

Memorizing Isaiah 55:7

By LisaNotes March 2, 2014 Miscellaneous 2 Comments

Monday, March 3, begins week 7 of memorizing Isaiah 55.

This week’s verse (Mar 3-Mar 9):

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts;
let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him,
and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
Isaiah 55:7 (ESV)

Practice with first letters:

L t w f h w, a t u m h t;
l h r t t L, t h m h c o h,
a t o G, f h w a p.

From The Message:

Let the wicked abandon their way of life and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to GOD, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

Hiding-Isaiah-55-in-my-heart

* * *

More tips on memorizing this verse at Do Not Depart.

What does this verse mean to you? Please share.

On the blog–February 2014

By LisaNotes February 28, 2014 Archives 4 Comments

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What I don’t want you to know is . . .

By LisaNotes February 26, 2014 Trust 25 Comments

no diving

My grandmother was scared of water. So she never learned how to swim.

So neither did my mother.

And so neither did I.

Not only was I scared of the water, I was embarrassed by my fear.

At Camp Neyati in the summers when my girlfriends would look forward to our swimming hour, I’d dread it. When they had pool parties, I’d hope we wouldn’t have to actually get in the pool. And when I needed one more P.E. credit in college, I was horrified that Beginning Swimming was the class that would fit my schedule.

I signed up for the class anyway, meeting with other waterphobes that winter semester, three early cold mornings a week in the (somewhat) heated indoor pool. We started with putting our faces under water, then progressed to learning strokes, and then—the mother of all fears—diving into the deep end.

It scared me then.

It scares me still.

When my feet can’t touch bottom, I don’t like it.

I really don’t know what I’m doing.
And that’s what I’d rather you not know.

God keeps giving me things I don’t know how to handle, showing me things I’ve never seen before.

Is this how vulnerability feels? Is this what authenticity looks like? Knowing your feet won’t touch bottom but jumping in anyway?

  • Knowing when I pray God’s blessings over strangers that I’ve no clue how those blessings will come?
  • Knowing I need to voice my beliefs regardless of how surprised it makes others?
  • Knowing I must say yes to new things despite how inadequate I feel?

If I have to jump in over my head, I need to know God is already in the water. To hold me afloat once I’m in. To show me what to do with the other characters he throws in with me.

My feet no longer touch bottom.

All I know is . . . God.
God.
God!

Maybe if Grandma had learned how to swim, she wouldn’t have been scared of the water. And she would have taught my mother. And my mother would have taught me.

So if you see me in the swimming pool, now you know I’m still not comfortable.

But since I’ve learned how to swim, I’m not as scared as I once was. I’ve learned how to dive.

Because God is in the water. And he is who he says he is. And he’s making me into who he says I am. And fear and shame aren’t allowed to stop him.

After all, God hasn’t let me drown yet.

* * *

Have you read Glennon Doyle Melton’s fantastic series the past few days, Sacred Scared? I highly recommend it.

What scares you? How do you deal with it?

My reading list February 2014

By LisaNotes February 25, 2014 Books I Recommend 22 Comments

These are the books I’m currently reading and have just finished from last month. Every 4th Tuesday we share our reading lists at 5 Minutes for Books.

JUST STARTED

the-scarlet-pimpernelThe Scarlet Pimpernel
by Emmuska Orczy

Do you ever read a book just to knock it off your TBR list? It’s now or never for this one. I’m only a few pages into this novel about the French Revolution, published in 1905. I’m having flashbacks to listening to A Tale of Two Cities and the long list of French words I couldn’t understand. So far this one isn’t as hard, and is just as interesting. But I’m not above using cheat notes if it gets complicated.

the-explicit-gospelThe Explicit Gospel
by Matthew Chandler

My review here

I listened to the audiobook last summer, but, honestly, my mind wandered a lot during it. So now I’m reading it for Crossway’s new book review program (check it out if you’re a blogger who likes to read!). From what I remember, Chandler stays focused in on pure gospel and our need to keep Jesus at the center of it all. I always like that message.

the-power-of-nowThe Power of Now
by Eckhart Tolle

My review here

Another book from my TBR list. This one is about staying in the moment, which is something I need reminding of often. Originally published in 1997, it became popular once Oprah Winfrey declared it recommended reading in 2000. What I’ve read in it so far is very, very intriguing.

orthodoxy-chestertonOrthodoxy
by G. K. Chesterton

My review here

Another older classic (1908), I’m finding it’s more humorous and easier to read than I’d expected. Chesterton’s philosophy has also been somewhat surprising–a little less left-brained than I assumed it’d be. But I like it. For instance, “Mysticism keeps men sane. As long as you have mystery you have health; when you destroy mystery you create morbidity….[The ordinary man] has always left himself free to doubt his gods; but (unlike the agnostic of to-day) free also to believe in them. He has always cared more for truth than consistency. If he saw two truths that seemed to contradict each other, he would take the two truths and the contradiction along with them.”

fresh-air-chris-hodgesFresh Air
What Happens When You Discover the Powerful Secrets of a God-Breathed Life
by Chris Hodges

My review here

I listen to Chris Hodges’ sermons at Church of the Highlands every week either online or when we go to church with Jenna in Auburn. Pastor Chris is Jesus-centered, practical, and a great story-teller. He did a series of sermons on “Fresh Air” a year or so ago that I enjoyed, so I know I’ll continue enjoying the message in the book.

FINISHED FROM JANUARY’S NIGHTSTAND

tuesdays-with-morrietuesdays with Morrie
an old man, a young man, and life’s greatest lessons
by Mitch Albom

My review here

Oh, if you haven’t already, read this one! It’s a true story of interviews between Mitch Albom and his old college professor Morrie Schwartz as Morrie was dying of ALS. The lessons about living and dying are poignant and will touch you. It was originally published in 1997 and was made into a movie in 1999.

and-the-mountains-echoedAnd the Mountains Echoed
by Khaled Hosseini

This novel is an intricate weaving of story through time and space, one thread picked for a chapter here, another thread for a chapter there, but blended artistically about a family in Afghanistan and how the circumstances of peace and war and poverty and love reached into several families and generations. Hosseini is also the author of The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, neither of which I’ve read, but now I want to.

does-jesus-really-love-meDoes Jesus Really Love Me?
A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God in America
by Jeff Chu

My review here

This is a book of conversations Jeff Chu had with people across the country about what it means to be Christian and gay in America. He touches on a wide variety of views, conservative and liberal, and raises for himself more questions than answers, but thankfully he does conclude that yes, Jesus really does love him.

when-i-dont-desire-god-john-piperWhen I Don’t Desire God
How to Fight for Joy
by John Piper

Another classic John Piper book with his life’s message: “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” Piper takes our calling to have joy in God very seriously, as something we need to purposely seek, not just some icing on the cake if we can get it. So when we don’t have that joy (and even when we do), this book is a great resource for restoring and maintaining our passion for God.

strength-to-love-martin-luther-king-jrStrength to Love
by Martin Luther King Jr.

My review here

I highly recommend this book of some of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s sermons. It will inspire you to reach higher and stand firmer for the rights of all people, not just those like you. Whenever we discriminate against any, not only are we doing wrong to them, we’re doing wrong to ourselves as well. Love sets us all free.

made-for-goodness-desmond-tutuMade for Goodness
And Why This Makes All the Difference
by Desmond Tutu

Quotes here

I’ve always heard of Desmond Tutu, but didn’t really know who he was. This book helped clarify to me what a gentle giant he is. He’s seen so many heart-breaking things in his life in South Africa, yet he remains hopeful because of his faith in God and in humankind. This encouraged me to do the same.

ethics-for-the-new-millenniumEthics for the New Millennium
by Dalai Lama XIV

My review here

This was another first–I’d never read anything by the Dalai Lama, but I’m glad I finally did. Although we obviously differ on religious beliefs (he’s Buddhist), we agree on basic principles of living a compassionate life (he’s just much better at living it than I am!). He’s quite an interesting soul with much to say to the world about love and peace, and I’d like to read more of his writings.

sitting-at-the-feet-of-rabbi-jesusSitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus
How the Jewishness of Jesus Can Transform Your Faith
by Ann Spangler

Months later, I finally finished this one. I recommend it to anyone who likes to dig underneath the Biblical texts to discover more of the Jewish roots. Not everything is “wow!” information, but the quantity of little-known nuggets makes it worth the read. I also recommend Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus for the same reasons.

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What’s a good book you are reading or want to read this month? Please share here.

Whats-on-Your-Nightstand-at-_5-minut

My books on Goodreads
Previous reading lists