Lisa notes

3 Reasons to Let Go of Perfectionism

By LisaNotes June 20, 2016 My stories, Welcome 42 Comments

9 a.m.
One hour to go before a couple thousand kids arrive. The workers are gathering. Our city is hosting a free Fun Fest day for the children in the community. I had volunteered to help through our local Dream Center.

But as the hour ticks down, we realize more volunteers are needed from the city than are showing up. Not good. We’ll each have to work harder and more intentional to cover all the centers.

Perfectionism_3 Reasons to Let Go

So I tell our coordinator, Pastor Jamie:

Oh, I’ll do whatever you need.
Wherever you want me to work, I say. I’m in.

She says, Great—we need more face painters! Will you work this table?

Oh. Except that, I say.
I’m horrible at face painting. Anything but that.

My prior face painting experiences haven’t been pretty. I’m no artist.

But Holy Spirit stirs:
Didn’t you just say you’d do whatever was needed?
Face painting is needed.

Well, yes, but what I really meant to say was:
I’ll do anything I think I’m good at.
Anything I’m comfortable with.
Anything that doesn’t involve uncertainty or mess or confusion. Or glitter; definitely nothing with glitter.

The Problem with Perfectionism

But the thing about helping others is we don’t always get to match our skills with their needs. Our perfectionism can become their roadblock.

  • Perfectionism can prevent us from trying new things.
  • Perfectionism can stop us from meeting needs.
  • Perfectionism can cause us to be overly critical–of ourselves and others.

And perfectionism can make us say no when the Spirit wants us to say yes.

9:30 a.m.
I know I have to change my no to a yes.

I turn back to Pastor Jamie and say,

Sure, I’ll face paint. I can do this.

Sigh. I take a deep breath then cut out the stencils; I lay out my brushes; I open the paint jars. Yes, even the glittery ones.

3 Benefits of Releasing Perfectionism

10 a.m.
And I start painting. Face after face. Hearts, footballs, stars, LOVE, flowers, flags.

Each child talks to me. I find out their favorite color, the sports teams they follow, how old they’re going to be on their next birthday.

And I realize: this is exactly what I wanted to do after all.

Life is a journey of practicing. Not perfecting.

  1. Let go of perfection to . . . learn new things.

When we do things we’re not necessarily good at, we are stretching. We are growing. Even if we fall down along the way. In our humility, we learn not only new things about ourselves, but also new things about God. When we trade in our perfection, we experience the grace of God’s provision.

  1. Let go of perfection to . . . help other people.

Most people don’t want our perfection anyway. They just want our attention. Our assistance. Our compassion.

“As the soul increases its strength, it can withstand increasing expressions of grace and God. Always the goal remains the same: to stretch the soul in preparation for becoming a container of divine love in the world.”
– Caroline Myss

  1. Let go of perfection to . . . honor God.

Holiness comes in many forms. In many expressions. It doesn’t always look like we expect. But when we do the thing in front of us, the thing God is calling us to do in the moment, even if we feel unprepared or inadequate, God is honored. I see him smiling.

1:55 p.m.
There’s still a line of children waiting to have their faces painted. (Alas, my lack of skills didn’t deter anyone.) It’s time to break down the tables and clean up. We apologize.

2:00 p.m.
I say good-bye to my fellow face-painters and hope we’ll cross paths again. Maybe at another face painting table. Or maybe at something else I’m horrible at.

But whatever I’m asked to do next, I hope my yes comes a little quicker. Because working imperfectly with God is more fulfilling than anything I could do perfectly on my own.

* * *

What will you this week that you can’t do perfectly? How do you deal with perfectionism? Please share in the comments.

Related:

Worship – Forget You, Remember God

By LisaNotes June 15, 2016 Church, Music, Worship 15 Comments

the-rock-family-worship-center

When you hear the word “worship,” what do you think of?

Maybe someone idolizing a pro football player. Or an ancient worshiper burning a bull on an altar to their gods.

I often think of Sunday mornings. In the past we called our church gathering a “Worship Service.” Many still do; it remains accurate. We do offer our worship to God there.

I know, though, that our worship extends past Sunday praise-singing. It’s Monday clothes-washing, and Tuesday dinner-cooking, and Wednesday pantry-serving, etc.

But still. Singing my worship on Sunday mornings starts the week with joy and peace and power.

I believe how David Mathis describes it in Habits of Grace is true:

“Like no other means, corporate worship combines all three principles of God’s ongoing grace: his word, prayer, and fellowship.”

But I don’t always feel full of grace at 8am on Sunday mornings when I walk in our church building to review the songs we’ll be singing.

Yet once I’m there, God pours grace on me before I get a chance to offer anything back to him.

  • Through his promises we sing about
  • Through melodious music he has inspired
  • Through other people worshiping beside me

As God reveals himself worthy of worship, it’s easy to give him praise. We lose sight of our own woes and gain clarity of Christ’s awe.

Self-forgetfulness and Jesus-awareness are heightened during worship.

“Worship is an end in itself. We do not eat the feast of worship as a means to anything else. Happiness in God [which is the heart of worship] is the end of all our seeking. Nothing beyond it can be sought as a higher goal.”
– David Mathis

Worship is a perfect way to start a day, a week, a life. And a perfect way to end one as well.

Worship now with “He Is Yahweh,” a song we’ve been singing with our church.

[click here if you can’t see “He Is Yahweh”]

VERSE 1
Who is moving on the waters
Who is holding up the moon
Who is peeling back the darkness
With the burning light of noon

Who is standing on the mountains
Who is on the earth below
Who is bigger than the heavens
And the lover of my soul

CHORUS
Creator God, He is Yahweh
The Great I Am, He is Yahweh
The Lord of All, He is Yahweh

Rose of Sharon, He is Yahweh
The Righteous Son, He is Yahweh
The Three-in-One, He is Yahweh

VERSE 2
Who is He that makes me happy
Who is He that gives me peace
Who is He that brings me comfort
And turns the bitter into sweet

Who is stirring up my passion
Who is rising up in me
Who is filling up my hunger
With everything I need

* * *

What do you think of when you hear worship? Do you have a favorite worship song that you sing with your church or at home? Please share in the comments.

Declutter Your Spiritual Junk Drawer, Too

By LisaNotes June 13, 2016 Grace 34 Comments

clutter

What’s your tipping point for clutter?

I reached mine last week with my bathroom closet. It was overflowing with expired medication, raggedy towels, old plastic bags.

Clutter can be painful.

It’s mentally disconcerting to see a mess every time we open a door or drawer. It keeps us from finding and using the stuff we already own because we can’t get to it. And it makes it hard to add anything new because there’s no room for it.

Clutter messes not only with our physical space, but it spills over into our mental spaces as well.

My bathroom closet was a relatively easy fix (although time-consuming). No sentimentality was involved in throwing away rags (or giving them to Jeff for the basement). No gifts to discretely discard of. No dilemma about whether or not to keep the 1994 Sudafed sample (the only relic from the 90s, thankfully).

sudafed-expired

But getting rid of other areas of clutter isn’t so easy.

Sorting through the clutter of guilt is often the hardest part.

  • If I give away the gift that Aunt Susie (named changed!) gave me, is that dishonoring her memory?
  • If I throw away a lovely (albeit large) piece of artwork that my kids made, does that make me a bad parent?
  • If I discard half-opened bottles of lotion that I don’t like, is that being financially irresponsible?

The clutter of guilt weighs heavy.

“We gather our arms full of guilt as though it were precious stuff. It must be that we want it that way.”
John Steinbeck

But I don’t want to hang on to anything because of guilt, any more than I want to hang on to guilt itself.

Jeff and I started watching a movie Saturday night with intent to stop if it wasn’t interesting (I’m trying to declutter the DVR, too). The movie began slowly, had poor acting, and had a ridiculous plot.

We kept watching. Surely it would get better. It didn’t.

Two hours later, we couldn’t believe we had watched the whole thing.

What a waste of time that could have been spent better.

I felt guilty that we hadn’t stopped the movie earlier and used our time more beneficially.

More clutter of guilt.

Yet I know guilt is not ours to bear. We’re supposed to use it to change our ways, then let it go, not shove it on a shelf to keep around a few years.

God paid in full for our spiritual clutter, and whatever I’m storing of it needs to be released.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:1

Just like I cleaned out my bathroom closet of its physical clutter, I need to continually clean out my spiritual junk drawers of clutter, too.

  • No lingering guilt.
  • No hidden grudges.
  • No unused gifts.

I need the space. Space to breathe, to grow, to love.

I’ve returned over and over to my bathroom closet the past few days just to marvel at its sparse shelves and clean floors. It brings me joy.

May I be equally grateful I can spiritually declutter, too.

* * *

Is anything in your spiritual junk drawer that you need to declutter? Please share in the comments.

Don’t Compare; Just Create

By LisaNotes June 8, 2016 Welcome 36 Comments

Barry-Radio-Contest

I went to a unique competition last night.

My brother-in-law Barry—a successful and seasoned aerospace engineer in his mid-50’s—entered a sports talk show contest, “Kickstart Your Career” with the Ump Sports Radio.

And he made the top 10.

KICKSTART-AMERICA

So last night nine men and one woman took two minutes on stage to give us their best “Sports Update” broadcast. The judges critiqued; we audience members voted. Two people will be cut each week. This Friday we’ll find out the top 8 who will compete next week.

Here’s a 20 second clip:


[click here if you can’t see the video of Barry’s update]

The lone winner at the end of the contest will be the new host of his/her own sports talk show one morning each week.

But as I listened to each contestant, I struggled to compare them. One had great delivery, but another had better content. One made me laugh, but another kept me totally engaged.

Maybe I’m not supposed to compare?

I’m focusing this month on not comparing. For my One Word “Welcome” this year, June’s challenge is to let go of comparing and welcome creating instead.

Brene Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection says,

“For most of us, letting go of comparison is something that requires constant awareness. It’s so easy to take our eyes off our path to check out what others are doing and if they’re ahead or behind us.”

We all know how bad we can feel when we measure ourselves by others.

Instead, let’s celebrate our originality.

Brown suggests we do this through being creative.

“The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.”

And lest we think we are not one of those creative people, Brown says this,

“’I’m not very creative’ doesn’t work. There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.”

I saw Barry use his creativity last night when he gave his sport update.

And when the last contestant had finished, I realized this: it was far more about creativity in each of them than about comparison.

Sure, the judges will compare within limits to choose a winner.

But the winner will be the one who makes a unique contribution to the art of broadcasting, one who stands out, not a cookie-cutter announcer who is just like others already on the air.

Will Barry win the contest? In many ways, I think he already has. He’s sharing unique parts of himself with us through his originality with words and knowledge.

He’s creating.

The next time we’re tempted to compare, let’s create something, too.

“When I make creating a priority, everything in my life works better.”

* * *

Do you consider yourself a creative person? What have you already created this week? Please share in the comments.

(And I’m not just bragging on my brother-in-law because he bought my dinner last night. He’s really good at what he does.)

 

Leave the Hand Open

By LisaNotes June 6, 2016 Trust 19 Comments

hand caterpillar

Am I doing it right?

I’m not sure.

Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire.
Leave the hand open and be.
– Ann Voskamp

I’m not even sure I have to do it right.

Keep an open hand. 

It’s best if I do. But if I don’t?

Whether I successfully keep my hands open or occasionally close them into tight little fists, God still loves to give, still gives to love, and is still mightier than any obstacle I can place in his way.

“Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper surprised thanks.”

I want to accept what he wants to give. He gives good. This I know.

This I see.

So I leave the hand open.
I bend the knee and thank.
I simply be.

I want to. He knows. That’s enough.

* * *

Is it hard for you to live with an open hand instead of a clenched fist? Please share in the comments.

revised from the archives