Did Your 2016 Problems Go Away?

spiritual-encounter-with-grace-lisanotes

What problems did you start the year with? Do you still have them? Did any new problems pop up along the way?

I ended 2015 with the problem of undiagnosed abdominal pain. I had been to doctors, gone through scans, had MRIs, and taken medicines, but still no diagnosis.

And no relief.

One Word: Welcome

So at the end of last year, I chose the word “Welcome” as my new One Word to focus on in 2016.

Welcome-sign

post-surgery gift from Jenna and Trey, January 31, 2016

When we can no longer deny our pain, we can’t fix our problems, and we don’t want to constantly complain about them, there’s one thing left to do: Intentionally accept them.

  • That doesn’t mean settle.
  • That doesn’t mean we don’t continue to work for solutions.
  • That doesn’t mean don’t cry out to God for help.

For the past 12 months, I’ve been taking my scaredy-cat self and asking God to help me welcome my problems, physical or otherwise.

Instead of fighting against them, I wanted to intentionally accept what God allowed to happen.

  • Daily (well, most days) I used meditation practices to stay in the now.
  • Weekly, I used the Welcoming Prayer to affirm my intention to God and myself.
  • And monthly (with the outline of Brené Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection), I focused on a different attribute to welcome, and something different to let go of. (See all twelve here.)

Like, welcome self-compassion and let go of perfectionism. Welcome resiliency and let go of powerlessness. Welcome uncertainty and let go of needing to know.

Did it work?

How do you define success? At the end of January, I was finally advised to have my gall bladder removed. I did. It helped.

But ridding ourselves of one problem at a time is never a complete answer. It’s our attitudes about all our problems that have to change.

It’s a spiritual encounter with grace that finally transforms us.

Even when our circumstances don’t change.

My attitudes did make a slight shift this year.

  • Some struggles I’m holding looser.
  • I’m learning it creates less suffering when I surrender to God earlier rather than later.
  • His presence is even more obvious—and valuable—to me than before.

I still have a long way to go (thankfully, with much less abdominal pain).

But having a journey ahead is fine with me (well, most days).

I’m even learning to welcome it.

* * *

Welcome-OneWord2016-LisaNotes

Did you choose One Word for 2016? Have you thought of One Word for 2017? Please share in the comments.


Do You Have a Word—And An Audience?

words-old-letters

I check the pockets before I put my shorts in the washing machine. I pull out a business card. Oh yeah. Pastor Xavier gave it to me on a Saturday morning at Outdoor Church, inviting me to visit his own church some Sunday.

He’s 50. He’s been drug-free since his teen years when he tried weed, not knowing it was laced with PCP and heroin. It left him messed up for months.

He made a deal with God then. If God would fix him, he’d devote his life to him.

They’ve both kept their word so far.

On this Saturday, Pastor Xavier and I were also talking to John (his real name), my friend from King’s Banquet. John and I met two years ago and our spirits clicked.

John was sharing his own story. Pastor Xavier thought others should hear it, too.

John said he didn’t have a platform and Pastor Xavier said he could have one at his church. His church was flexible. It wasn’t so regimented that others couldn’t speak there.

John wouldn’t commit because he tries hard to be a man of his word, and he wasn’t sure when he could make it. His regular church counted on his presence.

We appreciated his honesty. A person of his word—with a word—is a valuable thing.

I don’t know if John ever made it to Pastor Xavier’s church or not.

I’ve since heard that John has cancer. Terminal. Only a few months left.

I don’t want him to leave us.

I hope I see him at least once more before he goes.

  • To hear his latest story.
  • To hear of his faith in God.
  • To hear what he hopes will happen next.

I take Pastor Xavier’s business card and read the words on it one more time.

Words. They matter.

Because underneath each word is a person.

And every person matters.

  • Whether it’s a pastor who speaks words to a seated congregation every Sunday.
  • Or a wandering homeless man dying of cancer who speaks words to whoever is willing to listen.
  • Or a friend or neighbor or family member in the room next door who has something to say and something to hear.

Everybody has a word. Everybody deserves an audience.

Speak one. Hear one. Be a witness.

* * *

Who has listened to you lately? Who needs you to hear them? Please share in the comments.


Links, Books, and Other Things I Love – December 2016

Here are favorites from November and what I’m looking forward to in December. We share once a month at Leigh’s.

1 Second Everyday 


[If you can’t see the 1 Second Everyday video, click here]

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Around the Web

• The Happiest People Don’t Let Their Minds Wander
A recent Harvard study says stray thoughts are directly related to unhappiness. Those with constantly wandering minds were less likely to be happy than those able to focus on the tasks at hand.

• How Burglars Break Into Homes
They asked 86 burglars how they broke into homes. Interesting comments on what they said were the biggest deterrents, what didn’t stop them, and how you can protect your home.

• 12 Different Gifts to Give This Year
Our friend Linda Stoll details creative and meaningful goodies for those on our shopping lists. My favorites are #4, 7, and 12.

• 2016 Word of the Year – “Xenophobia“
From Dictionary.com: This year, some of the most prominent news stories have centered around fear of the “other.” Because our users’ interest in this overarching theme emerges so starkly for one specific word in our trending lookup data, xenophobia is Dictionary.com’s 2016 Word of the Year.

Definition: “fear or hatred of foreigners, people from different cultures, or strangers.”

2016-word-of-the-year-xenophobia

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On Reading

• Top 20 Fiction Books of 2016 (so far)
I’ve only read one on this list, Underground Airlines, so I can’t vouch for it personally. But several of these look interesting.

• One Way To Bridge The Political Divide: Read The Book That’s Not For You
What we lack in diversity among friends, we can at least read about it.

books-post-election

Strangers in Their Own Land by Arlie Russell Hochschild is about Tea Party conservatives in Louisiana. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates is about what it means to be black in America.
Raquel Zaldivar/NPR

• 10 Books Every Christian Teenager Should Read by Tim Challies
Of the seven of these ten that I’ve read myself, I also recommend them. And not just for teens.

• Ten Books I Recommend
I have read all ten of these books so I know they’re good.

books-i-recommend-2016-november-lisanotes

• Currently Reading

  1. The Sparrow
    by Mary Doria Russell
  2. Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging
    by Sebastian Junger
  3. Habit: The 95% of Behavior Marketers Ignore
    by Neale Martin
  4. Beauty Will Save the World: Rediscovering the Allure and Mystery of Christianity
    by Brian Zahnd
  5. The Great Spiritual Migration
    by Brian D. McLaren

~ * ~ * ~

Things I Love

• Meeting a Friend in Jail

julie-lisa-ashley-jail

Julie, Lisa, Ashley at Main Street Cafe

Well, not really in jail. And we weren’t handcuffed. When I was a child, this small building was both the town hall and the city jail. I never went inside. But now it’s a quaint Southern restaurant. And I’ll go in. I was blessed to meet my online friend Ashley (now my real life friend!), who was spending a few days with her good friend Julie, who happens to be one of my 4 Corner friends. Ashley is an amazing young wonder on fire for God. She’s in between mission trips to the Philippines.

• Kali’s 23rd Birthday

kali-flowers-2016

If our daughter Kali had lived, she would have turned 23 years old this year. We never miss her any less with each passing year.

• Marking Time

butler-high-school-rock-jeff

The main campus of our church has outgrown its facilities. So a local unused high school building will be turned into a new church building. We met there to see the plans a few weeks ago. Each family took an octagon and wrote the story of how they came into the church family. Then placed it on the timeline.  A beautiful testimony of God’s goodness through the years!

• Warm Thanksgiving

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We celebrated Thanksgiving Day with my in-laws, spending much of it outside. Unusually warm, this fall has been so pleasant for people like me who are always cold otherwise. But alas, it ends this week. Brrr….

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On the Blog

• 5 Things I Learned at the Enneagram Conference
What number are you?

the-enneagram

• No Pride in Giving, No Shame in Taking
The line Saturday morning was long and talkative. When we have, we give. And when we need, we receive. There should be no pride or shame on either end.

• Scared of the Dark…Or the Light? 
When we create something, we often want to hide it. Why are we afraid of the light?

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What was one of your highlights from November? What are you looking forward to in December? Please share in the comments.

previous Links and Books


On the Blog – November 2016


Ten Books I Recommend – November 2016

Here are ten great books I’ve recently finished that you might like, too. Every month we share our reading lists at Jennifer’s.

books-i-recommend-2016-november-lisanotes

Nonfiction

1. Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age
by Bob Cutillo MD

pursuing-health-in-an-anxious-age

A meaningful Christian book about our bodies in an age where we obsess about them or else treat them with abandon.

My book review here of Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age

2. The Bridge to Brilliance
How One Principal in a Tough Community Is Inspiring the World
by Nadia Lopez

the-bridge-to-brilliance

A hopeful story about a tough inner city school in Brooklyn, NY, and the principal there who is changing lives.

3. A Force for Good
The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World
by Daniel Goleman

a-force-for-good

Beautiful and practical advice from one of the world’s most compassionate people—the Dalai Lama—on how we can each make positive changes in our world, right where we are.

4. How to Be Here
A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living
by Rob Bell

how-to-be-here

God has us all here for a reason—this book encourages you to find that purpose and do something about it.

5. Stumbling on Happiness
by Daniel Todd Gilbert

stumbling-on-happiness

A most fascinating book on study after study about what really makes people happy—and what doesn’t.

6. Search Inside Yourself
by Chade-Meng Tan

search-inside-yourself

From one of Google’s earliest engineers, this is an inspiring look at how to be more mindful in our everyday lives.

7. Love Warrior
by Glennon Doyle Melton

love-warrior

An authentic and engrossing memoir about facing pain head-on instead of running from it.

Fiction

8. Before the Fall
by Noah Hawley

before-the-fall

Jeff and I both loved this mesmerizing novel about a small plane crash off Martha’s Vineyard and the story of the passengers’ lives before and after.

9. Underground Airlines
by Ben H. Winters

underground-airlines

What if the Civil War never happened, and the states actually did divide into basically two countries? This novel set in modern times gives a haunting look at what might have been.

10. The Crossover
by Kwame Alexander

the-crossover

This Newbery Medal winner is told in verse (and I liked it!) about a young basketball player, his twin brother, and their ex-professional basketball player father.

Reading Now

  • The Sparrow
    by Mary Doria Russell
  • Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging
    by Sebastian Junger
  • Habit: The 95% of Behavior Marketers Ignore
    by Neale Martin
  • Beauty Will Save the World: Rediscovering the Allure and Mystery of Christianity
    by Brian Zahnd
  • The Prophet
    by Kahlil Gibran
  • The Great Spiritual Migration
    by Brian D. McLaren

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What are you reading this month? Please share here.

Whats-on-Your-Nightstand-at-_5-minut

My books on Goodreads
Previous reading lists


Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age – Book Review

“In this day and age, we may not fear the next comet (or do we?), but we do worry about something less rare: the report of an abnormal medical test.”
– Bob Cutillo

humpty-dumpty

She was in her car, waiting in the line for the handicapped. For those unable to stand in the long line wrapping around Manna House Monday night, the back dock was serving as a drive-through area to pick up the free Thanksgiving food.

She rolled her window down and we chatted. I asked if she needed prayers for anything because don’t we all?

Her answer woke me up.

Yes, she said. Health care. I’m scared. I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to get health care under the new President.

I listened to her. Because fear of pain and sickness is real. For all of us.

If there’s anything that can ruin our plans, it’s a breakdown of our body.

Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age

Although it wouldn’t have been helpful Monday night to tell my new friend about a book I’d just finished reading, I can tell you about it.

It’s Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age by Bob Cutillo, MD. It isn’t a long book (~200 pages), but it is a deep book.

pursuing-health-in-an-anxious-age

It offers important discussions on something we all care about: our bodies.

In the book, Cutillo addresses our need to feel in control of our bodies. We like to think: If I live right, take the right medicines, and trust in God enough, I’ll be fine.

But we all get sick anyway.

It shouldn’t surprise us. Cutillo reminds us we were created as dependent beings from the very beginning.

We have limits.

“Our limitations are not out at the edge of our existence but at the center of our being. If our limits were at the boundaries, we could always push them farther and farther out, applying our reason and developing our technologies and solving the problems that limit us at the edges of our lives.

But that is not who we are and how we have been made; our limits lie at the middle of our creaturely existence and, if truth be told, we don’t like that.”

We don’t like the hurts we already have, and we’re often fearful about the unknown pain yet to come. If we’re old enough, we know how vulnerable our bodies are.

Body as Blessing

But we’re not left without hope.

“Because God came in a human body, a new perception of the body is offered.”

Our body is a gift and “intimately connected to our destiny.” Each of our bodies—even with their limits—has a direction and intentionality to carry out.

Our bodies may be vulnerable, but they are purposeful. We are more than our diseases.

“If the form of our body is not incidental but essential, the sooner we embrace our body, the sooner we embrace our destiny.”

And the ultimate physical death we each have to face? As believers in Jesus, we know death has been defanged.

“When we don’t ‘cling anxiously to life,’ we are freed to embrace it more fully.”

Health in Community

Cutillo’s concluding chapters are about living as community. We share this vulnerability of broken bodies with every other living being on the planet. He elaborates in the book on these three points:

  1. Seeing you depends on seeing me in you.
  2. My health depends on your health.
  3. The health of society depends on how it cares for its poorest members.

We may not enjoy bearing each other’s pains, but it is a godly mandate for everyone’s good.

“To permit the pain of another to come near because we know that we are likewise vulnerable is also a burden—but better to be burdened than buffered and blind.”

Stand Together

In the end, the best hope I could offer the scared woman in her car Monday night about future health care was that, regardless of what happens next, we would stand together, with God in our midst. She wouldn’t be alone. Together is always stronger.

This woman may or may not ever read Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age, but if you can and I can, perhaps we’ll stay motivated enough to keep the proper perspective, not only about our bodies, but about each other’s as well.

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Related:

How do you handle physical pain? Have you already faced your fear of death? What happened? Please share in the comments.

My thanks to Crossway
for the review copy of this book