Leave Room for Some Dignity
+ Quotes from "Always a Guest"

I understand why we like to watch these video clips. They make us feel good (if we’re on the giving side). They inspire us to go and do likewise. And that’s well and good, too.

But they also make me cringe.

Here’s how they usually go:

{Sad music} Enter poor person. Probably a single mom. Working two jobs to meet the bills. One more disaster happens. She’s out of food. Out of hope.

{Uplifting music} Enter Christian people. Cue the smiles. Bags of groceries. They give single mom a hug and tell her they just want to spread the love of Jesus to her.

{Happy music} Single mom cries and says she was so desperate. But now she’s so blessed. So grateful. She thanks Christian people for their goodness.

But something about these clips makes me feel we’re stripping dignity away from the person who has needs. And putting a halo on the God-people who have the goods.

I understand that those with much are to give to those with less. And give God the glory for it.

But I’m not sure that’s always what happens when we film it for show.

I think Barbara Brown Taylor gets what I mean. In her newest book, Always a Guest, she says this:

“If you have ever been on the receiving end of such charity, you know that the hand that gives is always higher than the hand that receives. Think about it. Would you rather answer the door to find a group of good people bearing gifts for your needy family (with their own need for you to praise their goodness all over their faces), or would you rather know the fields where you are welcome to go at the end of the day with your own baskets to gather your own food for your own family, so that they rejoice to see you coming through the door instead of some well-meaning strangers?”

Taylor says that when we give, God doesn’t require us to stand around to be seen or thanked. Not that anything is wrong with being thanked. But that’s not the point of it.

Maybe that’s why God said to not glean all the harvest from your field, but remember a foreigner is coming up behind you, so leave a sheaf for them to pick up. Leave a bit of their humanity to salvage. Yes, give them a hand, but don’t keep your hand out for the resulting praise.

Taylor says a lot more in this book. And she usually says it in a way that other people don’t. That’s one reason I read her books. She helps me see things differently. And usually clearer, even while leaving me less certain about it.

As she says,

“Trust is never entirely logical. Faith never makes perfect sense.” 

Quotes from Always a Guest

Here are some other quotes I gleaned from the harvest in Always a Guest:

DON’T SHOVE MARY BACK INTO THE CLOSET

“For reasons that are complex and often unsatisfying, Mary is not nearly as important to Protestants as she is to Catholic and Orthodox Christians. Advent is really the only time she shows up in most Protestant churches, chiefly to hold the baby Jesus in the Christmas pageant and then go back into the closet with Joseph and the shepherds until next year.”

STAY IN THE ROOM

“When people figure out that unity is about more than agreeing with each other and reconciliation has more to do with staying in the room than with winning—then remarkable things can happen.”

USE IT FOR LOVE

“For the God who loves it all has given it all to you to love as well.”

THINGS YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO DO

“The only reason we have the slightest idea what genuine love looks like is because we have been loved that way, by God and by one another. That’s what saves us over and over, so that there are all sorts of things we never have to do again.

  • We don’t have to avenge ourselves.
  • We don’t have to take matters into our own hands.
  • We don’t have to get even.
  • We don’t have to punish our enemies.
  • We don’t have to appear wiser than we are.
  • We don’t have to shield ourselves from joy or sorrow.
  • We don’t have to fear strangers.
  • We don’t have to lock our hearts.”

HAUL OUT YOUR BEST DISHES

“Freeing them, we are freed. Feeding them, we are fed. When we get it deep down in our bones that there is only one feast, set for all God’s people, we will haul all our best dishes out of the church and set them before the world.”

DON’T JUST TEACH THE GOSPEL; EMBODY IT

“God has entrusted us with the teaching of the gospel—and more than that—with its embodiment, which includes protecting the vulnerable bodies all around us every day. The good news is that we have everything we need to do that: the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.”


My thanks to Net Galley and Westminster John
Knox Press for the review copy of Always a Guest


Merry Christmas and the Grace & Truth Linkup


Grace and Truth_Rules

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.   

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace Truth_Button

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


Goodbye, One Word 2020 and Hello, One Word 2021
—Our One Word 2021 Linkup

Goodbye one word 2020

Looking back on 2020:

  • What was your 2020 word?
  • Who else knew about it?
  • What did you learn through it?

Looking ahead to 2021:

  • Do you know your word for 2021 yet? (Tell us, if you’re ready!)
  • If yes, how did you decide?
  • If no, how do you think it will come to you?

All questions are applicable to a word, a phrase, a verse, a prayer, whatever your focus has been and/or will be!

Lingering with a word or theme for a whole year is an intentional endeavor.

If you’d like to join our community for a monthly email reminding you to engage with your word, sign up here.

If you’d like more ideas, see these 7 Tips for Choosing Your One Word of the Year.

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Please share your thoughts, links to your own posts, etc., in the comments. Our next linkup will be January 21 (and the 21st of each month of 2021).

Need suggestions on choosing a word? Here are “3 Steps to Choose One Word.”


How Will You Spend Your Time?
—Grace & Truth Linkup

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Our time in 2020 is finally almost up. Can you believe it?

Now it’s time to think ahead to 2021. How will we choose to spend our time in 2021? Many things won’t change when the calendar flips over, but we can always change our mindset.

If you want to choose one word or phrase or a Bible verse to focus on for 2021, we’re forming a group. We’ll remind each other once a month to engage with our words. 

Details are here.

One Word 2021 Invite

Featured Post

If you struggle with how to use your time wisely, our featured post this week by Beth Bullington will help you.

Beth reminds us that God created time and set us in it. He wants us to use our time wisely (Ephesians 5:16-17). How can we do that?

Beth gives us good advice here, plus she suggests three books she has read that are written by Christian authors on this topic. I’ve read one of the three myself, but would love to read the other two as well.

Read Beth’s post at her blog, As He Leads Is Joy, then add your own links below.

Wise Living with Our Time


Grace and Truth_Rules

1. Share 1 or 2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. (No DIY, crafts, recipes, or inappropriate articles.) All links are randomly sorted.

2. Comment on 1 or 2 other links. Grace & Truth linkup encourages community.   

3. Every host features one entry from the previous week. To be featured, include this button or link back here on your post (mandatory to be featured, but not to participate).

Grace Truth_Button

Grace and Truth_Meet Hosts

We encourage you to follow our hosts on their blogs or social media.

MAREE DEE – Embracing the Unexpected
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

HEATHER HART & VALERIE RIESE – Candidly Christian
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LAUREN SPARKS
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

LISA BURGESS – Lisa notes
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Are you ready for 2021? Share your thoughts in the comments.


20 Things to Learn from Lingering in 2020

I didn’t see this year coming, did you?

What have you learned from 2020?

  • About life
  • About your relationships
  • About yourself
  • About God

Below are 20 lessons I learned from lingering in 2020.

It started when God gave me my word for 2020: Linger. I had no idea that by nudging me to “do less” he was going to challenge me more.

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20 Lessons from 2020

1. If we only live for the moment, we won’t live very long.

2. Love has a speed. It’s slow.

The pandemic forced most of us to slow down a notch in 2020. We were forced to confront our hurry sickness by sitting with ourselves. And with each other.

John Mark Comer says this in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:

“Hurry kills relationships. Love takes time; hurry doesn’t have it. It kills joy, gratitude, appreciation; people in a rush don’t have time to enter the goodness of the moment.”

[Read more:  Will You Return to Hurrying?]

3. It’s better to be proactive than reactive.

4. There are more things we can’t understand than things we can.

5. I don’t like being called names. You don’t either.

The divisive political climate was particularly ugly this year. Rumors and slanders swirled around like a tornado.

But slinging mud helped no one. Name calling made things worse. Remembering we’re all God’s children—we’re all in this together—makes things better.

[Read more:  Stop the Name Calling]

6. Staying home more is as good as I thought it could be, but also much harder.

7. When we don’t stand up for each other, we all fall down.

8. In hard things, be sad. It’s okay to cry it out.

I cried in 2020. A lot. About racial injustice. Spiking covid cases and deaths. Frustrating political tensions.

But crying was okay. It was healthy. Tears clean up our emotional buildup. They’re here to help us. Let them work for you.

[Read more:  I Need My Tears]

9. Not everybody who survives a pandemic realizes they just survived a pandemic.

10. We give up too easily and don’t let go quickly enough.

11. To stay close, linger in conversation. Even if it’s only digital.

It’s easier to avoid the people we disagree with. But should we?

Maybe sometimes. But if we want to carry our relationships into 2021, we have to start talking to each other again, not just about each other.

[Read more:  How Can We Stay Close If We Don’t Communicate?]

12. Learn more about yourself. It helps you be less annoying.

I lingered in the Enneagram this year. I wrote a series in February, The Enneagram for Spiritual Growth (see the index here). I learned a lot of things, including this: If we’ll uncover our shadow sides, we’ll know where to shine the light.

[Read more:  Is Your Social Style Annoying? 9 Ways We Manipulate Each Other]

13. Many Americans value individual freedom more than group sacrifices. But others give away everything they have to help a stranger. (And you can’t tell who is which by church attendance.)

14. We’re smarter when we work together.

15. We don’t need to know everything to know enough.

We don’t have to know everything about a virus, about a policy, about an issue before we can do better. Because of what we do know: God is always with us. 

[Read more: How Much Do We Need to Know?]

16. We are more connected to each other than we realize.

17. To take a step back from resentment, take a knee down.

I’m still working on this one. It’s been hard to not resent those who are spreading the virus by their carelessness.

But I don’t want to end the year with bitterness. Life may not be fair. But I want to love anyway.

[Read more:  It’s Not Fair! When You Resent Those Ruining It for the Rest of Us]

18. We can look at the same things but not see things the same.

19. Traditions can change yet still be traditions.

20. Linger in the present, but stay hopeful about the future.


What did you learn from 2020? Share in the comments.


Are You Choosing One Word of the Year? Join Our Community!

If you’re looking for accountability for your One Word journey, !

Need help finding your One Word? See 7 tips for choosing your One Word of the Year

When You Lose Your Word

Instead of New Year’s resolutions, a modern trend is to choose one word (or phrase) to concentrate on for a year. It’s often easier to keep up with one word than a list of resolutions.

Did you choose one word last year?
Were you excited when you chose it?
How long did it last?

If you’re like me, you get excited for a fresh start. Turning the corner into a new year brings hope.

But as the year drags on—or speeds by—our One Word can get tangled up in the barrage of words that assault us on a daily basis.

Sometimes we forget all about the word we’ve chosen. It gets lost in the noise.

And when we don’t intentionally watch for our word, we also can miss the gifts that can come through our words.

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A Monthly Nudge for One Words

To encourage you, you’re invited to our small intentional community specifically for discussing our individual words.

It is a place to nudge each other at least once a month to remember our unique words we’ve each chosen.

  • To hear and be heard 
  • To ask, “Where have you seen your word?”
  • To share ideas
  • To stay alert for gifts found through our words

Sign Up for One Word Community

If you’d like to engage with us monthly, sign up here.

For 2026, I’ll send you an email with ideas for practicing your words on the 19th of each month.

Then one week later, on the 26th of each month, we’ll meet back here at the blog to chat about our updates.

Also, if you blog or instagram or write a Facebook post about your word anytime during the month (but not required!), you can add your links on the 26th of each month at our monthly linkup. Others can benefit by following along your journey.

If you’re interested in joining our private One Word Facebook group, join here. We can talk about our One Words there anytime during the month.

Ready When You Are

Sometimes we choose our word. Sometimes our word chooses us.

However you receive your word of the year (or if you’re still waiting for it), we’d love to hear about it in our community.

For myself, I appreciate your accountability.

I’ve seen our words do some amazing things in years past. I’d love to see it happen again this year. Together.

And if you’d like, join our Facebook group here.


Read more:

Did you have one word last year? Do you have one word for the upcoming year? Please share in the comments.