Is Politics Hopeless? 5 Ways to Practice Hope in Politics

“When you feel yourself reacting negatively to something you hear, hit pause in your mind.
Ask yourself (1) ‘Why am I reacting this way?’ and (2) ‘What could this conversation be like without my reaction?'”
– Sarah Holland, Beth Silvers

The Overwhelming Divide

We all face moments when the world can feel overwhelming, especially again this year when it comes to politics.

At times it appears hopeless. The divide seems too large to bridge. Red states, blue states, progressives, conservatives, us vs them makes us wonder if there is any common ground left.

In the past few years, I’ve found myself more politically aware than ever before. While it’s been empowering to better understand the issues, it’s also been disheartening. Talking politics can both fire me up and bring me down.

But even in politics, there is hope, right?

A Shift in Perspective

Yes, there is reason to hope. This quote by Sarah Holland and Beth Silvers gives me hope. It’s from their book, I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations.

We’ve decided to stop calling America ‘divided.’

Buying into this conflict-driven narrative is a choice, and it’s a choice we’re not going to make. We don’t feel divided from each other or the people in our lives in any way.

There are no perfect relationships, ideas, people, or organizations in our lives. They’re all flawed, just as we are flawed.

But we see past those flaws—because we are first looking for the good.

5 Commitments to Practice Hope in Politics

Here are five commitments from I Think You’re Wrong that we can use to practice hope in political discussions.

1. Commit to recognizing and putting down your defensiveness.

2. Commit to learning something in the discussion.

3. Commit to having a dialogue instead of giving alternate speeches.

4. Commit to assessing whether it’s the right time to say what is on your mind.

5. Commit to ending the discussion by strengthening the relationship.

Within the boundaries of these commitments, perhaps we can talk politics with our family, friends, and even strangers more productively and with respect. Through this approach we can grow in self-awareness and love for others whether we’re on the same side of an issue or polar opposite. We can let go of our daily moral outrage at every new controversial statement and instead listen with curiosity.

As Beth and Sarah wisely put it,

“Remember that you are part of something so much bigger than one election, one vote, and one law.”

I want to believe this. So this is my reminder to choose hope, even in politics.

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Who do you talk politics with? Everybody, nobody, only a select few? Do you find it hopeful? Please share in the comments.

revised from the archives


Overlapping Moments: Find Life’s Magic in Shared Time

The Weight of Untold Stories

I sit on the edge of my chair in the hospital room. My uncle is telling a story from his hospital bed. I had asked him about the animals he and my dad had as they grew up in rural Mississippi in the first half of the 1900s. I’m collecting his memories about their chickens, mules, and pigs, incorporating his stories into my own.

These are stories I’ve not heard before. And they are stories that will be gone when I lose my last remaining uncle. So I listen attentively, realizing the weight of each tale he tells.

I don’t know as much as I would like to know about his and my parents’ early years. And he won’t live long enough to know about my latter years.

The Gift of Stories

Back home, I find a new email in my inbox from Storyworth. It’s a new writing prompt for the week: “What is one of your favorite memories of your mother?” My mind flips through my memories of experiences with my sweet mama.

For 52 weeks this year, Storyworth is prompting me to write a story about my life. My youngest daughter, Jenna, bought the year-long subscription for me as a Christmas present last December. At the end of this year, Storyworth will compile all my stories into a book. This is my opportunity to tell her, and whoever else might later read the book, about my life even after I’m gone.

My daughter doesn’t know a lot about my early years. I won’t live long enough to know about her latter years.

But we overlap in the middle.

The Overlapping Middle

I don’t like watching people die even though I know we all are dying. Watching someone lose words and become dependent is uncomfortable. Watching new life, on the other hand, is easier and more exciting. Seeing my grandson learn new words and gain independence is satisfying.

But both experiences are natural and valuable.

Living in the center of the Venn diagram of overlapping lives is the juicy stuff. It’s what we need to feast on. It’s the only solid food we have anyway. Everything else is imaginative.

Connecting Across Generations

While we are here, we each want to be seen, known, and understood. We long for our life to be witnessed by a fellow human being—not to be judged or evaluated. But to be noticed.

Be curious about the person beside you in time. And satisfy their curiosity about you. These connections we make are the strings that keep us from falling apart when life gets bumpy and we feel we can’t keep it together.

These intersecting points between us are the magic of life. They are what make it matter. They are what bring us meaning.

Death isn’t the enemy. More time isn’t necessarily better. The quality of our time together is more valuable than the quantity. How can we more fully live today, fully loving those around us?

I’m grateful for these overlaps in time with those around me. In these moments, we find the true essence of life—the connections we make, the stories we share, and the love we give and receive.

Cherish the overlaps; they are the threads that weave the fabric of our lives.


Share your thoughts in the comments.


Why Do You Blog? You Might Be Surprised {My 16th Blogging Anniversary}

Today August 8, 2024, is my 16 year blogging anniversary. On August 8, 2008, I clicked “Publish” on my first blog post. What a journey!

I’m updating this previously published post to include why I CONTINUE to blog today. 

A Random Blog Comment?

I opened my email on the last day of July 2024. Newsletters, offers, ads, blah blah blah.

Then an email comment on a blog post. Blog comments are my favorite emails to read.

But this one made me pause. It was from a stranger. It started like this:

“I just came across your blog. Your message was just what I needed. . . .

I read it all the way through.

Then I took a deep breath. I needed to read this one twice.

Reasons to Blog

If you blog, why do you do it?

You must have good reasons because blogging can be costly . . . in time, in energy, in thought, and sometimes in money. Blogging asks questions of us: Are we sharing too much? Are we not personal enough? Is our effort even worth it?

We probably share many of the same concerns, and same reasons, for blogging.

Perhaps you blog:

  • To encourage others
  • To teach something you know
  • To make friends with like-minded people
  • To share your art
  • To sell a product
  • To connect with your family
  • To entertain
  • To document your story
  • To learn new things
  • To make the world a better place

But when you blog, here’s a surprise you might not expect . . .

As you blog, you are often the one encouraged. You are the one entertained. You are the one invited to be a better person.

We think we blog to give something to the world.

And hopefully we do.

But as we blog, the world gives even more things back to us.

Maybe we gain an insight we wouldn’t have realized without writing out our words. Maybe we make a genuine friend in the blogging community. Maybe we learn about contentment as we post on quiet days.

We often receive far more than we give.

Gifts in Both Directions

After re-reading the blog comment from Tina in Canada that Wednesday morning, I felt humbled. Because although it has been almost 10 years since I wrote the post she was commenting on now (Body, I Forgive You”), I still need the reminder in 2024 about what I was preaching to myself in 2014.

What Tina also reminded me of that morning was our need for perspective. She reminded me that throwing something on my blog every few days might be more useful than I realize. Not because I have something profound to say, but because profound things can happen despite our meager offerings.

The blog post was about appreciating our bodies instead of criticizing them. Tina, a competitive volleyball player, was feeling the aches and pains that come with an aging body.

But after reading the blog post, she listed the things she could still do with her body:

“I can walk, cuddle with my man, give hugs, work, dance, and hang with friends, and I am healthy.”

I’m grateful that my body still serves me in those ways too (although I don’t allow it to dance near enough).

Ten years ago when I wrote that post, I didn’t know that today it would come back to remind me again of a lesson I still need to learn, to show kindness and compassion to my hard-working body for all she continues to do for me. 

And to feel the kindness and compassion that I have received for 16 years from this blogging community. 

Whatever it is you expect to give by blogging, I hope you give it.

But I also hope you receive so much more in return.

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If you blog, too, what difficulties does it bring? But also, what joys do you receive?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read more:

revised from the archives

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When Compassion for Others Takes a Sharp Turn: A Lesson in Vulnerability

A Day of Compassion Begins

I sit in a row of folding chairs in a neighborhood church gym, which today has been transformed into a blood donation center. My eyes are focused on my daughter Jenna, who is already on the donation table.

I know Jenna is nervous; it’s her first time giving blood. My mother’s heart feels a wave of compassion for her. I reassure myself that she’ll be fine.

Until I see a Red Cross volunteer hand her a juice box mid-donation.

This can’t be good. Is something going wrong?

A Shared Commitment

A few weeks earlier, Jenna and I had signed up to donate blood together. Our Alabama chapter of Moms Demand Action—a grassroots movement for common-sense gun legislation—had chosen blood donations as our monthly action item for June. Survivors of gunshot wounds often require more blood than other trauma victims, so donating blood felt like a meaningful way to contribute to the cause, especially given the nation’s current low blood supply.

Unlike Jenna, though, this isn’t my first time. I’ve donated blood many times (starting in my college years when my workplace would entice me with four paid hours off for each donation). So though I’m familiar with the process, I do know it can be intimidating.

My name is called next, and I hop onto the other donation table, expecting a routine experience. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jenna still lying down, but she seems to be okay.

Everything goes smoothly with my donation. But now that I’m finished, I suddenly feel lightheaded. And incredibly hot. Where did all this sweat come from?

An Unexpected Turn

A volunteer brings me a juice box, which I quickly drink. I start to feel better.

I stand up and move to the folding chairs, where Jenna is now seated as well. The nurse advises me to stay a few extra minutes, just to make sure I’m fine.

Jenna and I laugh about the fact that we both got lightheaded. We’re glad we donated, but we’re also glad it’s over.

Except it’s not.

I begin to feel lightheaded again, and this time, I also feel nauseous. Jenna takes one look at my now pale face and immediately calls the volunteer back over.

The next thing I know, I’m opening my eyes, sprawled flat on the floor, feeling awkward and confused. What just happened?

Embracing Vulnerability

I’d completely passed out.

But the experience isn’t over yet. The volunteer brings me a barf bag, and I immediately throw up. Jenna, watching this all unfold, feels sick herself and also throws up.

We are quite the pair. The dear lady next in line to donate is advised to wait a little longer; her blood pressure has gotten too high after witnessing our ordeal.

I feel so embarrassed for getting sick. This has never happened before.

I apologize to the nurse for needing so much help. He is incredibly kind and reassures me that this sort of thing happens and not to worry about it.

A Lesson in Compassion

I did eventually recover that day, and Jenna drove us home.

Reflecting back on the experience, I still cringe at the turn of events. I never figured out why my body reacted so differently to that donation.

What had begun as an act of compassion for others ended up being an opportunity to receive compassion from others.

But now I can better appreciate the beauty of that day. It connected me more deeply to my vulnerability and increased my gratitude for the kindness of strangers.

We need not apologize for being vulnerable. It’s keeps us connected to each other in community. Compassion for each other is the grace that makes us human.

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But don’t let my one bad experience discourage YOU from donating blood. It’s a wonderful gift to the world. Find a local Red Cross or other blood donation center near you.

I received this email a few weeks after I donated:

“Thank you for giving blood with the American Red Cross. After first ensuring that local needs were met, your blood donation was sent to Grandview Medical Center in Birmingham, AL to help a patient in need. Your donation is on its way to change lives!

Every day, people receive blood for life-threatening illnesses, blood disorders, traumatic injuries, and other conditions. You can feel proud knowing that your gift of a blood donation is critical to these patients. If you’re eligible to give again, please schedule your next donation today!”

Are you a blood donor? (Maybe I’ll attempt it again one day? Maybe not?) Share your thoughts in the comments.


6 Books I Recommend – August 2024

“That’s the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.”
– Jhumpa Lahiri

Here are 4 nonfiction books and 2 novels I recommend from what I finished reading last month. 

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Somehow
Thoughts on Love
by Anne Lamott

Somehow Thoughts on Love  

Oh, I love reading Anne Lamott books. Anne is wise, provocative, spiritual, and funny. And honest. This book of essays and stories on love is as good as any of her previous works, which are also wonderful. A must read.

2. Punished by Rewards
The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes
by Alfie Kohn

Punished By Rewards

Which motivates you the most: carrots or sticks? Or neither? Alfie Kohn writes that extrinsic motivators (whether good—like rewards, or bad—like punishments) don’t work in the long run. Intrinsic motivation does. I see what he’s saying, but I’m still pondering it all. Originally published in 1993.

3. American Carnage
Shattering the Myths That Fuel Gun Violence
by Fred Guttenberg, Thomas Gabor

American Carnage

Compared to other developed countries, America has far more deaths from gun violence. Why? This book lays out facts to debunk popular myths we believe about gun culture in America. If we want to reduce the number of deaths from homicides, domestic abuse, suicides, and accidental shootings, maybe one day we’ll stop politicizing guns and start acting on the evidence instead. Very informative (yet sad).

4. The Power of Ritual
How to Create Meaning and Connection in Everything You Do
by Casper ter Kuile

The Power of Ritual

I’ve been participating in a zoom group this year on “Seeking the Sacred,” so this book was a natural fit when my group came to the week about sacred rituals. Author Casper ter Kuile gives lots of good ideas for adapting or creating rituals to fit your own life and things you want to celebrate by using intention, attention, and repetition. (He’s also a podcast cohost with Vanessa Zoltan, the author of Praying with Jane Eyre, a book I want to read next.)

FICTION

5. One Perfect Couple
by Ruth Ware

One Perfect Couple

This is the newest novel by Ruth Ware, an author I always read. Her mysteries are intense but not too scary or graphic. The plot is about ten people who are cast members on a new reality TV show, The Perfect Couple, set on an abandoned island. When an unexpected storm arises, it becomes a bit reminiscent of Lord of the Flies.

6. Zero Days
by Ruth Ware

Zero Days

A woman hired by a company to covertly test their security systems runs into trouble when she arrives home to find her husband has been murdered. And she is the prime suspect. This on-the-run type plot isn’t my favorite, but it worked for this novel.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

  • The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory
    American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism
    by Tim Alberta
  • The Anxious Generation
    How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness

    by Jonathan Haidt
  • A Well-Trained Wife
    My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
    by Tia Levings
  • Good People
    Stories From the Best of Humanity
    by Gabriel Reilich, Lucia Knell
  • Children Under Fire
    An American Crisis
    by John Woodrow Cox
  • The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
    How to Be Calm in a Busy World
    by Haemin Sunim

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What good book have you read lately? Please share in the comments.

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On the Blog – July 2024

Here are brief summaries and links to posts on the blog, Lisa notes, from July 2024.

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See previous months’ archives here