Lisa notes

Share 4 Somethings – Wild Goose Version July 2024

By LisaNotes July 29, 2024 Life updates 23 Comments

For the 2024 edition of “Share 4 Somethings,” Jennifer asks us to share each month:

  1. Something loved and/or disliked
  2. Something accomplished
  3. Something improved upon and/or that needs improvement
  4. Something noticed

This month I’m sharing 4 things from my experiences at the Wild Goose Festival in North Carolina that I attended a couple weeks ago.

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Something Loved

  • ONE-YEAR REUNION: CELEBRATING FRIENDSHIPS 

Last July at the Wild Goose Festival, I attended a small Table Conversation on Saturday morning about creating affirmations with two women I’d never met. But within a matter of minutes, Naomi, Rachel, and I formed a strong bond. Since then, we’ve shared countless conversations and spent more time together.

I loved having a one-year reunion with these fabulous new friends at Wild Goose this July. It was a special treat to eat dinner together at Wild Goose (even if it was from a food truck and at a picnic table in the melting heat) and catch up again in person.

They are both strong, wise, and compassionate women.

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Something Accomplished

  • GRIEVING OTHER TYPES OF LOSS

This year, Rachel led her own session at Wild Goose: “A Funeral for All Things: Connecting Those Grieving Nontraditional Losses Through a Ritual of Loss.”

Rachel’s focus was that, beyond losing loved ones, we also experience other significant losses throughout our lives—relationships, jobs, beliefs, identities, health, and more. She created a meaningful space for us to grieve these losses together.

During the session, Rachel provided us with cards to write down what we were grieving and place them inside a small casket. I’ve had several major losses the past couple of years so this was an especially powerful and moving hour.

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Something that Needs Improvement

  • FORGIVENESS

Along with the losses I’ve experienced, I’ve also accumulated some grievances the past couple of years. I don’t like it. I don’t want to turn bitter, so I’m actively working on forgiveness. It’s difficult.

I was pleasantly surprised to find a session on forgiveness at Wild Goose based on one of my favorite books, Fred Luskin’s Forgive for Good. I discovered the book only last year. The forgiveness framework in it proved immensely helpful to me.

The session was presented by Lyndon Harris, a colleague and friend of Fred Luskin. Lyndon shared his powerful personal story of seeking forgiveness after working for months at ground zero following 9/11. I highly recommend Lyndon’s TEDx talk: A Journey to Forgiveness: From 9/11’s Devastation to New Beginnings.

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I’ve since been emailing with Lyndon to stay informed about his future work on forgiveness, including a workbook he and Fred will be publishing in 2025 for Forgive for Good.

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Something Noticed

  • FINDING BALANCE AS AN INTROVERT

As an introvert, I cherish my solitary moments at home, surrounded by many, many books. However, as a human being, I also appreciate the invigorating power of community.

The weekend at Wild Goose was an almost overwhelming whirlwind of words, people, and music. While I couldn’t handle such an intense experience every weekend, now and again it’s a wonderful and necessary rejuvenation for my soul and spirit.

Wild Goose Festival 2024

What is something you are loving, accomplishing, improving, or noticing this month?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

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I’m linking at these blog parties

Explore Your One Word 2024 with Our Exciting Sensory Challenge
{One Word 2024 July Linkup}

By LisaNotes July 24, 2024 Curiosity: One Word 2024, One Word Community 10 Comments

Link all of your ONE WORD blog posts below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

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Sensory Challenge

Did you know that scientists believe we have more than five senses? In fact, many suggest we have 10, 20, or even 30 different senses.

Every year we do a SENSORY CHALLENGE with our One Word, and now it’s time to dive in with your 2024 word! Here are three unique sensory challenges for you to explore.

1. **TOUCH IT**

How can you physically feel your word? Experiment with different textures. Does your word feel like smooth satin or scratchy wool? Is it a hard pressure or a light touch? Hot or cold? Let your imagination guide you.

My word is CURIOSITY, so I’ve been more curious this month about textures and feels, like how sensitive we are to notice the tiniest little pebble in our shoe when we’re out for a walk, or how eating a donut leaves a weird greasy film in your mouth. I’m trying not to rush to find an answer for these things; just observe and notice them for now. 

2. **TASTE IT**

Can you find a taste that embodies your word? Is it sweet like sugar, tart like a lemon, or something else entirely? Play around and discover what your word tastes like to you.

After eating a fresh peach cobbler over the weekend (thank you, Jeff!), I’m declaring it my official curiosity “taste.” It’s such a delightful blend of sweet and fatty and crunchy and smooth, all the delicious things that we can stay curious about in a food.    

3. **LIGHT IT**

We rely on light to see, but how does your word interact with light? Is it a bright, shining beacon or something hidden in the shadows? Does it appear more vividly at dawn or during a beach sunset? Explore light and shadow to discover your word’s unique glow.

I find CURIOSITY the most in the play between light and shadows. For example, I find it so curious how highways can turn into strobe lights as I’m driving when the sun is at a particular angle and there are trees to my right or left. Also, I also love how curious light can be, finding a way to peak in through the smallest of openings. We’ve had blackout curtains in our bedroom for the past couple of years (I highly recommend!), and in the morning, the sunlight shines through the open rings at the top of the curtains. It lets me know that night has gone and morning has come. 

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Next Linkup

This One Word linkup will remain open for 2 weeks for your One Word posts, closing at midnight on Wednesday, August 7. Link as many posts as you’d like about your One Word. Each link will also be shared in our One Word Facebook group. 

Our August linkup will open on Saturday, August 24 (and on the 24th of each month for 2024).

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here any time of the year.

How does your One Word feel, taste, or show up in the light? Share anything you’d like about your word. Leave a comment here.

Link Up About Your One Word!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Unraveling the Myths of Confidence: Insights from “The Age of Magical Overthinking”

By LisaNotes July 22, 2024 Book reviews, Hidden Biases 9 Comments

“The world can be so humbling, but only if you let it humble you.”
― Amanda Montell, The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality

Does Confidence Equal Correctness?

My friend was so confident in her answer. So she must be correct, right? We often equate confidence with correctness.

But should we? (As it turns out, my friend was later proven wrong.)

If these questions intrigue you like they do me, Amanda Montell’s wonderful new book, The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, is a must-read. And if you’re not asking yourself questions like these, perhaps you need to read this book even more?

Navigating a Confusing World

In a world that makes less and less sense to us, we need books like Montell’s to help us think more clearly. The Age of Magical Overthinking exposes the hidden biases of the human mind, reminding us that as intelligent as our brains are, they are also remarkably lazy. They prefer familiar paths over accurate ones.

The older I get, the more I realize there’s more I don’t know than I do know. And perhaps that’s a good thing.

The Value of Doubt

Doubting our certainties may turn out to be one of our more healthy traits. Montell’s book explores several common ways of thinking and systematically dismantles them with research. The title includes the word “magical” because these patterns of thinking often stray from the truth.

But how do we know Montell is right? By putting in the work ourselves and finding out.

For instance, Montell explains that “Magical thinking broadly describes the belief that one’s internal thoughts can affect external events.” We sometimes think we can manifest a better job. Cure cancer with positivity. Transform relationships with good vibes. While this magical thinking might make us feel more in control, does it really change reality? Put it to the test.

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Our Magical Biases

The Halo Effect is the first bias that Montell writes about. The Halo Effect happens when we make overall positive assumptions about a person based on one trait. If a person is a wonderful singer, a confident politician, or a charismatic religious leader, our brains on the halo effect may think they’re also a wonderful parent, a smart teacher, and an overall kind human being. But is that necessarily true?

The Proportionality Bias is explained in chapter two as “the psychological craving for big events to have equally big causes,” often fueling conspiracy theories. Our brains want life to make sense. And when it doesn’t, we sometimes create meaning that isn’t accurate. This bias can also prevent us from seeking help when we need it or conducting proper research to investigate deeper.

Other biases in the book include:

  • Sunk Cost Fallacy
  • Zero-Sum Bias
  • Survivorship Bias
  • Recency Illusion
  • Overconfidence Bias
  • Illusory Truth Effect
  • Confirmation Bias
  • Declinism
  • Negativity Bias
  • Effort Justification Bias

Increase Curiosity and Awareness

Be warned: Montell doesn’t provide simple solutions to any of these biases in The Age of Magical Overthinking. But by increasing our curiosity and awareness about them, she gets us one step closer towards escaping their influence.

Understanding our flawed logic helps us adjust our thinking. This book reveals our mental missteps more clearly.

Rethinking our thinking never hurts. If we discover we were right all along, great. But if not? That’s important to know; now we can change.

Let’s embrace more questioning, wondering, and seeking. We may already know a lot, but there’s a whole lot more to know.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Amanda Montell is also the writer of these amazing books: Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism and Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language.

I wrote a series on biases here.

Uncover Hidden Biases Table of Contents

Read More:

My thanks to NetGalley + Atria Books for the
review copy of The Age of Magical Overthinking

From Bandaids to Water Bottles, Be Curious About the Power of Empathy

By LisaNotes July 19, 2024 Community, Curiosity: One Word 2024, My stories 21 Comments

“The only way to survive is by taking care of one another.”
– Grace Lee Boggs

#1 – A Bandaid

The contemplative writing session at the Wild Goose Festival had just ended on a hot Saturday morning in North Carolina. As I stood up to leave the round table under the tent outside, I felt something crash at my feet.

I quickly looked down to see an elderly woman falling in the grass beside me.

I and others immediately stooped to the ground, asking her, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

She tried to quickly gain her composure and rise to her feet. She said she falls a lot. She had simply lost her balance on the uneven ground, but she was totally fine.

But the blood on her hand suggested otherwise. She had cut her finger during the fall. One person handed her a tissue to wipe off the blood, and my on-the-spot husband, Jeff, walked up just in time to offer a bandaid.

She put on the bandaid, smiled, and thanked everyone for their help, saying she had never received so much kind attention after a fall.

—

#2 – A Water Bottle

Later that afternoon, I was taking a break from the heat at a picnic table under the shade of a big tree at Wild Goose. A six-year-old girl and her older sister were playing with a squeeze water bottle nearby.

They approached my table and asked for a napkin. “Of course,” I replied, “What are you doing?”

“Oh,” the youngest girl said, “We’re helping the Goose! There is a really dirty chair over there, and we’re going to clean it up.”

What a wonderful way to help! Her unprompted generosity, no matter the size, struck me as both beautiful and valuable.

—

#3 – An Understanding

That same Saturday afternoon, a crowd had gathered under another tent to hear Starlette Thomas read to us from her book, Take Me to the Water, about a raceless gospel for a desegregated church.

A few minutes into the session, a man sitting to my left raised his hand with a question. But he became increasingly agitated as he spoke. Despite Starlette’s gracious responses, he refused to back down.

The more he talked, the more heated he became, now standing up to make his point. Others in the crowd began mumbling, wondering what he would say next.

A woman near me finally asked the man to sit back down, stating that we wanted to continue hearing what the speaker had to say. But the man still stood.

A second man near the back now also stood up. He said he recognized this man had things he needed to say, and would he be willing to go sit under the tree with him for a few minutes and privately talk it out?

Thankfully the first man said yes, and they both walked away. We all breathed a sign of relief.

The speaker, Starlette, looked at the remaining crowd like a reassuring parent. She told us she was fine, and asked if we were okay. We asked what she thought of the man.

She sat down on the stage, and gave us this response: “I think he is beloved. He is a child of God. He is on his journey.”

She obviously wasn’t flustered nor angry, but was compassionate and understanding. She said she’s faced much harder. This is how we process life and grow along the way.

This is the work.

For all of us.

—

Stay Curious About Empathy

A bandaid. A water bottle. An understanding. In each of these three moments at the Wild Goose Festival, I saw demonstrations of the beauty of empathy. Each act, though unexpected, revealed the power of human kindness.

As I reflect on my journey with Curiosity this year—with a specific curious focus on empathy these past few weeks—I am reminded of these lyrics:

“Let me tell you ’bout the situation goin’ on
All around the world today
There’s a billion different people
Doin’ a billion different things
To make a billion places better today”

Of our billion opportunities, what is one thing we can do in this moment to make the world a better place today?

May we each stay curious and act empathically wherever we find ourselves, using whatever we have to give, no matter how small or large.

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Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Are You Like an Iris? There’s Hope

By LisaNotes July 16, 2024 Hope, Practicing Hope 11 Comments

What are some symbols of hope you see in your world? For me, flowers are often signs of hope, especially those that finagle a way to bloom through a crack in the pavement, or unexpectedly spring to life from a stem I thought was dead.

One flower that stands out as a traditional symbol of hope is the iris.

Iris is symbol of hope

The name “iris” comes from the Greek word for rainbow. In ancient Greek mythology, Iris was the messenger of the gods and the personification of the rainbow. She was said to be the vital link between heaven and earth, traveling along rainbows. The Greeks often planted irises over the graves of women, believing that the goddess Iris would guide the dead on their journey to heaven.

In my own garden, the irises are some of the hardiest perennials. They grow in poor soil. They continue to return year after year with minimal attention.

That gives me hope.

The iris’s characteristics of resilience, adaptability, and faithfulness are characteristics I want to cultivate in my own life, too.

These traits remind us that regardless of the season we’re in, a new spring is always around the corner.

Just like the iris, we can become symbols of hope by being resilient, adaptable, and faithful.

The next time you see an iris, let it be a reminder to embrace these qualities and to hold onto hope, no matter the challenges you face.

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Share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

Bridge the Divide: 4 Ways to Love Your Politically Opposite Neighbor 

By LisaNotes July 9, 2024 Book reviews, Curiosity: One Word 2024 23 Comments

“Are you brokenhearted?
Are you pissed off?
Are you at the end of your rope?
Good.
This is cause for celebration.
These are signs that your heart is still functioning. They are your soul’s alarms, telling you that things are not okay and that you are not okay because of it.”
– John Pavlovitz

A Morning Walk and an Unexpected Discovery

I first saw it on a Tuesday morning. I was almost back home, rounding the corner from my morning walk. There it was, fluttering in the breeze—my neighbor’s new political flag.

I read the words on the flag. And immediately felt uncomfortable.

I already knew my neighbor’s political leanings from the signs in their yard, but this flag was different. This wasn’t only for a candidate. This was for revenge. I thought my neighbor was a friend, but maybe not?

Navigating Uncomfortable Emotions

If you’re like me, you’ve likely experienced uncomfortable emotions too during this turbulent political season—regardless of where where you fall on the political spectrum, blue, red, purple or indifferent.

But I don’t like these feelings stirred up in me toward my neighbor. I don’t like feeling outrage. I don’t like feeling fear. I don’t like viewing my neighbor as the “other,” as one of “them.”

So I’m attempting (although I often fail and/or forget) to choose a more intentional approach after reading John Pavlovitz’s new book, Worth Fighting For: Finding Courage and Compassion When Cruelty Is Trending. (I highly recommend it if this topic interests you.)

4 Ways to Love Your Politically Opposite Neighbor

1. DON’T LOOK AWAY

I wish ignoring the conflict would make it go away, but it won’t. Instead, I need to stay aware of my own thoughts and feelings, and the reasons why I feel anxious or frustrated about my neighbor’s politics.

John Pavlovitz writes:

“Lament every bit of what you’re seeing, and don’t pretend it isn’t rightly horrifying. . . .

As long as we believe we have the luxury of ignoring the difficult reality of America as everyone experiences it, we’ll be perpetuating the brokenness, prolonging the pain, and delaying justice. That’s the real news, friends.

Don’t look away.”

2. STAY CURIOUS ABOUT STORIES

We all are products of our families, relationships, experiences, and circumstances. We decide our politics based on all these factors. If I want to understand why my neighbor votes as they do, I should become more curious about their larger story, not just one small piece that flies on a flag. Our backstories explain a lot.

“People are a product of their stories. . . .

It all slowly shapes them, and that very specific confluence of factors results in the version of them standing in front of you at a given moment. . . .

Likewise, you too are a product of your story. When you are tempted to see people as caricatures, seek to learn their stories.”

3. DO SOMETHING POSITIVE

One way to counter our fear of opposition politics is to take a positive action. Even a small one. If you’re fearful about losing our democracy, for example, you don’t have to upend your life and run for congress, but you can write a letter to your representative, or register someone to vote, or better educate yourself about the issues that matter to you. Even small actions can quell fears.

“So, what can you do right now? . . . Maybe it’s about asking yourself what you still know to be true: about the goodness of people, the causes that matter to you, or the gifts you’ve been given.”

4. ASSUME BETTER, NOT WORSE

Bottom line, remember that most of us want the same things: fulfilling relationships, meaningful activities, healthy bodies, sustainable finances, safe communities, etc. Our goals are similar; it’s our strategies that may differ. By focusing on our common values, we can be more compassionate toward each other as we work through our disagreements.

“Because I believe everyone is worth it, I am trying:
· to keep listening to their stories,
· to offer an open hand more than a closed fist,
· to see the best in the people I find it difficult to see good in, to give them the grace I desire for myself.

I fail regularly, but this is my daily aspiration—because if it ceases to be so, then I become as harmful as I now perceive them to be.”

Move Forward with Compassion

I still don’t like my neighbor’s flag.

But I use it as a reminder that I can still love my neighbor.

If I want more unity and peace in my country, this is where it starts: one heart at a time, one neighbor at a time, with me.

Worth Fighting For by John Pavlovitz

How are you feeling about politics these days? Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the
review copy of Worth Fighting For