Lisa notes

Use Your Hands to Touch a Heart

By LisaNotes July 5, 2024 Compassion 30 Comments

Butterbean-Band

The laundry room door cracked open.

I could see her inside the room, tenderly folding each piece of clothing more gingerly than I fold my own family’s clothes. When she had put them all in the basket, she tiptoed out of the room, not disturbing the concert in progress in the activity room.

It’s a high touch position.
No need to apply if you’re afraid to get close.

It’s been a few years ago, but I still remember it clearly. I was there that day as a proud fan. My daughter was singing with her grandfather’s Butterbean Band at this assisted living facility. It housed a family friend, giving me double reasons to attend this day’s performance.

I can’t help but watch the workers when I visit homes like this for the elderly and disabled.  

It may be the patients and family who pay the bills, but it’s the everyday workers who keep things humming.  

  • It’s the nurse who makes rounds with her little cups of pills, each specific to a resident.
  • It’s the aide who pushes the elderly gentleman’s wheelchair into line so he can listen to the band with the gathering crowd.
  • It’s the activity director who breezes in and out to joke with the residents, distributing hugs, and ensuring everyone is having fun.

And it’s the young woman who goes into each room to empty individual hampers, washes and dries and separates each article of clothing, then tiptoes back into rooms to return each item to the right drawer and closet where it belongs.

You can’t hold down these jobs without using your hands—to move, to work, to love.

Without the human touch, it’d be an empty place.

To touch hearts, sometimes you have to use your hands.

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How can you use your hands this week to touch a heart? Please share in the comments.

revised from the archives

Embracing the Freedom of an Early Start

By LisaNotes July 2, 2024 Encouragement 11 Comments

My alarm was set for 7:00am, but there I lay at 6:30, wide awake at the hotel. Because my flight home from DC wasn’t scheduled until 12:30pm, I knew I could have a leisurely morning ahead.

But I got up anyway, took a shower, and finished packing my suitcase.

I knew the breakfast buffet at the hotel would stay open until 9:30am. I had planned on heading down around 8:00. But since I was completely ready by 7:15, I decided to grab my suitcase and go downstairs early.

I meandered around the buffet, choosing a few items for breakfast, and settled down for a pleasant conversation with other conference volunteers also preparing to return home. After the leisurely breakfast, we wished each other well and went our separate ways.

My original plan was to take the 9:00 shuttle to the airport, leaving me plenty of time before my flight. But since I had checked out of my room and finished breakfast by 7:45, I wandered outside as they were loading the 8:00 shuttle. Why not get on board now?

Arriving at the airport with time to spare, I faced the security line, which was long, but not terrible. I emptied my water bottle and joined the queue. It was a sunny day, and all flights were on time.

By 10:00, I was seated in my terminal. Now what? Freedom! Because I had plenty of time, I could work my daily NYT Sudokus. I could FaceTime my family back home. I could grab an early lunch.

What I didn’t have to do was rush. I didn’t have to stress. I didn’t have to constantly watch the clock.

Some people think doing things early is wasting time. I find it’s quite the opposite. For me, having a margin feels like a luxurious gift of extra time. It relaxes me and lets me approach the day with calm and contentment instead of feeling anxious from last-minute rushing.

Unfortunately life doesn’t always allow us the option of not hurrying like I had that day. Some days are so full that we must wake up running to cram everything in.

But when we do have the choice, I rediscover again and again that sometimes the best way to stay present is to revel in the freedom of an early start.

Does having to rush make you anxious too? Share in the comments.

On the Blog – June 2024

By LisaNotes June 30, 2024 Archives No Comments

Here are brief summaries and links to posts on the blog, Lisa notes, from June 2024.

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See previous months’ archives here

9 Books I Recommend – June 2024

By LisaNotes June 28, 2024 Books I Recommend 25 Comments

“All of literature is one of two stories: a man goes on a journey or a stranger comes to town.”
– Leo Tolstoy

Here are 3 novels and 6 nonfiction books I recommend from what I finished reading in June 2024. 

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Worth Fighting For
Finding Courage and Compassion When Cruelty is Trending
by John Pavlovitz

Worth Fighting For

Sometimes it seems our country has gone mad, dividing into two angry camps against each other. Along comes John Pavlovitz with hope that perhaps it doesn’t have to be this cruel. I thoroughly enjoyed this book encouraging us to continue standing strong for our values, but also to respect each other as we do so.

[Read my review here of Worth Fighting For, “4 Ways to Love Your Politically Opposite Neighbor”]

2. Write a Must-Read
Craft a Book That Changes Lives―Including Your Own
by A.J. Harper

Write a Must-Read

I recently participated in a writing webinar with A.J. Harper as the host. In the short amount of time that I had her one-on-one with my work, I was amazed at her ability to lead me more directly to the heart of what I wanted to say in my writing. If you’ve ever wanted to write a book, I highly recommend A.J.’s book about the writing and editing (and some about the publishing) process; it’s phenomenal.

3. The Age of Magical Overthinking
Notes on Modern Irrationality
by Amanda Montell

The Age of Magical Overthinking

Because I loved Amanda’s other books (Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism and Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language), I had a hunch I would love this one, too. And I was right. With her witty and personal writing style, Amanda walks us through the biases that trap our brains into thinking irrationally. There’s no guarantee that we’ll automatically think more logically and realistically after reading this book, but we’ll at least be more aware of fallacies when we see them.

[Read my review of The Age of Magical Overthinking, “Unraveling the Myths of Confidence”]

4. Life After Doom
Wisdom and Courage for a World Falling Apart
by Brian D. McLaren

Life After Doom

How are we to live in the middle of our climate crisis? Brian McLaren shows us a wise and brave path through, not around. This is a book about grieving, about hoping, and about changing, regardless of what happens next. I found it incredibly insightful and helpful.

[Read my full review here of Life After Doom, “A Journey of Hope Amid Climate Chaos”]

5. The Light Shines in the Darkness
Choosing Hope After a Mass Shooting
by Melinda Rainey Thompson

The Light Shines in the Darkness

On June 16, 2022, about 100 miles from my home in north Alabama, a visitor to a church potluck in Birmingham, Alabama, sat down to eat with welcoming church members. And pulled out a gun. With no warning, he began firing. Three people died that night. And everyone was affected. Even the church members not in attendance. This book is a beautiful collection of essays from those who were there or who loved people who were there that night. I’ve chosen it as the selection for the August meeting of our Alabama Moms Demand Action online book club. One of the authors will be with us to share his experience of that horrible night.

6. Do/Walk
Navigate earth, mind and body. Step by step.
by Libby Delana

Do Walk

My other book club—the in-person group—is reading Do Walk this summer. It’s a small, easy book about Libby DeLana’s habit of taking a walk every day. It’s definitely motivated me to do my short walk in my neighborhood far more frequently these days (despite the oppressive heat).

FICTION

7. The Women
by Kristin Hannah

The Women

This is a powerful novel about a young nursing student in the mid-1960s who joins the Army Nurse Corps to serve in Vietnam. While it is fiction, it is based on the lived experiences that many female soldiers had during the war and after their return home. I cried throughout the book because it was so gut-wrenching yet also such an important story to hear.

8. Jane Eyre
by Charlotte Brontë

Jane Eyre

Because I want to read Praying with Jane Eyre: Reflections on Reading as a Sacred Practice, I thought I’d better re-read the classic novel Jane Eyre this month. It’s been years since I first read it, but it held up beautifully. I thoroughly enjoyed it (maybe even more this time?). If you’re not familiar with the story of orphaned Jane Eyre, the travails of her life, and her relationship with Mr. Rochester, I encourage you to find a copy (they’re everywhere) and read it, too.

9. The Dollhouse
by Fiona Davis

The Dollhouse

This novel is based on the actual Barbizon Hotel for Women in New York City in the 1950s. Aspiring models lived on one floor, and secretaries and editors lived on another. The book alternates chapters between a modern tenant as she uncovers a story that happened in 1952, and a character living it in 1952. Interesting plot and well-written.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

  • Zero Days
    by Ruth Ware
  • Punished by Rewards
    Twenty-Fifth Anniversary Edition: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’S, Praise, and Other Bribes
    by Alfie Kohn
  • The Heart of Nonviolent Communication 
    25 Keys to Shift From Separation to Connection
    by Kristin K. Collier
  • American Carnage
    Shattering the Myths That Fuel Gun Violence
    by Fred Guttenberg, Thomas Gabor
  • Spiritual Bypassing
    When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters
    by Robert Augustus Masters
  • A Well-Trained Wife
    My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
    by Tia Levings
  • The Power of Ritual
    How to Create Meaning and Connection in Everything You Do
    by Casper ter Kuile
  • Good People
    Stories From the Best of Humanity
    by Gabriel Reilich, Lucia Knell

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What good book have you read lately? Please share in the comments.

sharing at these linkups


Share 4 Somethings—June 2024

By LisaNotes June 26, 2024 Life updates 33 Comments

For the 2024 edition of “Share 4 Somethings,” Jennifer asks us to share each month:

  1. Something loved and/or disliked
  2. Something accomplished
  3. Something improved upon and/or that needs improvement
  4. Something noticed

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Loved

  • CELEBRATING V WITH HER FAVORITE COOKIES 

Earlier this year, my friend V and I talked about the birthday party we’d have for her in May. Birthdays were big to her. Even though her mental capacity was limited, she had an uncanny knack of remembering everybody’s birthdays and made sure everyone knew hers.

But unfortunately she didn’t make it to her birthday this year. She died 3 weeks before she would have turned 56 years old.

We still wanted to do something special on her birthday though. So Jenna, Kay and I baked V’s favorite M&M cookies, printed a special remembrance card with her photo, and passed them out to her friends at her apartment complex. It was a beautiful time of hearing individual stories about V from her friends and sharing our grief together.

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 ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Accomplished

  • VISITED MY LEGISLATORS IN WASHINGTON, DC

Earlier this month I attended the annual conference of Moms Demand Action in Washington, DC. Our goal this year was to prioritize gun violence survivors, solidify our purpose of creating safer communities, and use our voices as voting constituents.

We spent one of our days on Capitol Hill, spreading out in our red shirts to talk to our legislators. My friend LaKeisha and I met with my representative, Dale Strong. Our group also spoke with the staff of our two senators from Alabama.

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While we don’t always agree on the same strategies to solve our violence problems, we usually agree on the same objective: greater public safety for all. It’s not about Democrat or Republican. We’ll keep trying to find common ground and working together toward common goals.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Improved Upon

  • FINALLY PLANTED FLOWERS

We were a little late this year, but Jeff and I finally weeded out our flower beds and planted new flowers in pots. I don’t enjoy working in the heat as much as I once did, but I do love having color around the house during the summer months. So a few flowers in pots on the porch and on the deck do the trick for me.

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~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Noticed

  • PREPPING FOR INSIDE OUT 2

I’ve been looking forward to seeing the new Inside Out 2 movie. But I couldn’t remember much about the first movie. So I borrowed my niece’s DVD last week of Inside Out and enjoyed rewatching it to jog my memory of the emotion characters in it. It was just as good the second time.

Now I hope to find a day next week to go watch Inside Out 2. Have you seen it?

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What is something you are loving, accomplishing, improving, or noticing this month?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Rediscover the Power of Your One Word
{One Word 2024 June Linkup}

By LisaNotes June 24, 2024 Curiosity: One Word 2024, One Word Community 7 Comments

You’ve made it to June! Congratulations, you’re halfway through the year with your One Word. Now is a great time to re-motivate yourself by remembering WHY you chose this word in the first place.

Link all of your ONE WORD blog posts below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

~ * ~ * ~

Revisit Your Initial Thoughts

Back in January, you chose a word that resonated with your goals for the year, one that could guide you and keep you focused. But as time rolls on, it’s easy to lose sight of that initial spark. That’s why it’s helpful to pause and reflect on your journey so far.

If you filled out our One Word worksheet, wrote a blog post, or talked to someone about your word in January, now is the time to reread those words or rehash that conversation. Let your initial impressions and clarity excite you again.

Ask yourself the following questions to gain deeper insights into your intentions and progress:

1. Why did I choose this word in January? What was happening in my life that led me to this word?

One reason I chose CURIOSITY in January is because I’ve experienced changes in several critical relationships over the past couple of years. CURIOSITY was a tool I wanted to use to wonder more, ask better questions, and create deeper connections.

I’m sad as I look back at my first post this year—Do You Want to See Better? Try Curiosity. I didn’t imagine in January that by mid-year, my friend V would no longer be here. I naively thought her vision problems would be a simple fix, instead of signs of a much more extensive problem.

Are my vision problems more extensive than I realize, too? Is this another lesson for me? I see the need to remain curious.

2. Is my word serving its purpose? If not, how can I revamp it to align with my goals for the second half of 2024?

Yes, CURIOSITY is serving its purpose by making me more aware of being aware.

Looking back over my original goals, I realize I haven’t been as intentional about doing some of the things I’d planned (like being curious about new foods!) yet many have happened naturally nonetheless (this month I enjoyed Cuban food for the first time). I will definitely stick with CURIOSITY for the second half of 2024.

An Exercise to Rekindle Your Connection

If you’re unsure about your word now, here’s a quick exercise to try. Dig up your word’s roots to make a deeper connection with your current situation.

Look up your word’s etymology in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary or the Online Etymology Dictionary. What is its origin? Has its meaning or use changed over time?

I smiled when I read that in the late 14th century CURIOSITY meant “careful attention to detail” (a definition now obsolete) because I often pay too much attention to details (please load the dishwasher this exact way). But in other ways, it’s handy to be a detail-oriented person—I usually keep track of the day and time my appointments are, for example.

In Middle English curiosity often had a negative connotation, like “prying; idle or vain interest in worldly affairs.” But now, curiosity typically means “having a strong desire to learn or know something,” which is how I am viewing it this year.

Embrace this mid-year check-in to rediscover the strength of your One Word and adjust your path if necessary so your word can continue to inspire you through the rest of 2024.

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Next Linkup

This One Word linkup will remain open for 2 weeks for your One Word posts, closing at midnight on Monday, July 8. Link as many posts as you’d like about your One Word. Each link will also be shared in our One Word Facebook group. 

Our July linkup will open on Wednesday, July 24 (and on the 24th of each month for 2024).

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here any time of the year.

May you remember to stay connected with your One Word throughout the year.

Has your One Word stayed relevant so far in 2024? Leave a comment here.

Link Up About Your One Word!

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