When Compassion for Others Takes a Sharp Turn: A Lesson in Vulnerability

A Day of Compassion Begins

I sit in a row of folding chairs in a neighborhood church gym, which today has been transformed into a blood donation center. My eyes are focused on my daughter Jenna, who is already on the donation table.

I know Jenna is nervous; it’s her first time giving blood. My mother’s heart feels a wave of compassion for her. I reassure myself that she’ll be fine.

Until I see a Red Cross volunteer hand her a juice box mid-donation.

This can’t be good. Is something going wrong?

A Shared Commitment

A few weeks earlier, Jenna and I had signed up to donate blood together. Our Alabama chapter of Moms Demand Action—a grassroots movement for common-sense gun legislation—had chosen blood donations as our monthly action item for June. Survivors of gunshot wounds often require more blood than other trauma victims, so donating blood felt like a meaningful way to contribute to the cause, especially given the nation’s current low blood supply.

Unlike Jenna, though, this isn’t my first time. I’ve donated blood many times (starting in my college years when my workplace would entice me with four paid hours off for each donation). So though I’m familiar with the process, I do know it can be intimidating.

My name is called next, and I hop onto the other donation table, expecting a routine experience. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jenna still lying down, but she seems to be okay.

Everything goes smoothly with my donation. But now that I’m finished, I suddenly feel lightheaded. And incredibly hot. Where did all this sweat come from?

An Unexpected Turn

A volunteer brings me a juice box, which I quickly drink. I start to feel better.

I stand up and move to the folding chairs, where Jenna is now seated as well. The nurse advises me to stay a few extra minutes, just to make sure I’m fine.

Jenna and I laugh about the fact that we both got lightheaded. We’re glad we donated, but we’re also glad it’s over.

Except it’s not.

I begin to feel lightheaded again, and this time, I also feel nauseous. Jenna takes one look at my now pale face and immediately calls the volunteer back over.

The next thing I know, I’m opening my eyes, sprawled flat on the floor, feeling awkward and confused. What just happened?

Embracing Vulnerability

I’d completely passed out.

But the experience isn’t over yet. The volunteer brings me a barf bag, and I immediately throw up. Jenna, watching this all unfold, feels sick herself and also throws up.

We are quite the pair. The dear lady next in line to donate is advised to wait a little longer; her blood pressure has gotten too high after witnessing our ordeal.

I feel so embarrassed for getting sick. This has never happened before.

I apologize to the nurse for needing so much help. He is incredibly kind and reassures me that this sort of thing happens and not to worry about it.

A Lesson in Compassion

I did eventually recover that day, and Jenna drove us home.

Reflecting back on the experience, I still cringe at the turn of events. I never figured out why my body reacted so differently to that donation.

What had begun as an act of compassion for others ended up being an opportunity to receive compassion from others.

But now I can better appreciate the beauty of that day. It connected me more deeply to my vulnerability and increased my gratitude for the kindness of strangers.

We need not apologize for being vulnerable. It’s keeps us connected to each other in community. Compassion for each other is the grace that makes us human.

But don’t let my one bad experience discourage YOU from donating blood. It’s a wonderful gift to the world. Find a local Red Cross or other blood donation center near you.

I received this email a few weeks after I donated:

“Thank you for giving blood with the American Red Cross. After first ensuring that local needs were met, your blood donation was sent to Grandview Medical Center in Birmingham, AL to help a patient in need. Your donation is on its way to change lives!

Every day, people receive blood for life-threatening illnesses, blood disorders, traumatic injuries, and other conditions. You can feel proud knowing that your gift of a blood donation is critical to these patients. If you’re eligible to give again, please schedule your next donation today!”

Are you a blood donor? (Maybe I’ll attempt it again one day? Maybe not?) Share your thoughts in the comments.

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