Don’t Jump to Conclusions – Jump to Grace
Edward stood in the long line outside, waiting with the others to sign up for gifts for his kids.
He was young, maybe 25. Black hair, brown skin, dark eyes. His accent was Hispanic.
As he watched us, a group of white ladies, he noticed we were clearly struggling to communicate clearly with other Hispanic families in line. Between our spotty Spanish and their limited English, we weren’t bridging the communication gap very well.
So when it was my turn to sign up Edward, he offered me something unexpected. “I can speak both English and Spanish,” he said. “If you need me to help translate, I’m available.”
Relieved, I immediately answered, “Yes, please!” I started asking him how to say this and that, grateful for his help. As he answered, he explained subtle differences between Guatemalan Spanish and Mexican Spanish.
His knowledge was fascinating. So I asked, “Where are you from?”, wondering which form of Spanish was his native tongue.
His answer caught me off guard.
“I am an American.”
Oh. Of course. But it was too late—my incorrect assumption had already been blurted out.
We moved on, continuing to talk and work, but my mind kept circling back to that moment. Why had I asked where he was from? What assumptions had I made based on how he looked and sounded?
Finally, after my third or fourth trip to ask Edward a translation question, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I apologized.
“I feel bad I asked where you were from. I just assumed you weren’t from here. I am so sorry.”
Edward just laughed. “I get that all the time,” he said.
But still I couldn’t shake the feeling of how quickly I’d made a judgment about him.
It’s so easy to jump to conclusions, whether about ethnicity or income or circumstances.
Just because someone doesn’t look like me or sound like me doesn’t mean that he’s not like me. Edward and I likely had more in common, both as American citizens and as human beings, than we had differences.
Maybe we all look a little different on our outsides so we’ll take a closer look at our insides.
- To spot our similarities
- To discover our distinctions
- To practice our principles
I was thankful for Edward’s grace. He gave it freely. So I accepted it freely.
And I haven’t forgotten it. I want to learn from it.
In the future, I want to jump quicker to grace and tread slower to conclusions.
* * *
When have you jumped too quickly to the wrong conclusion? Remember to stay curious! And give grace. Please share in the comments.
revised from the archives
- Even After You Stop Looking, Joy Can Still Find You
- Learn 2 or 3 New Facts About Your One Word of the Year
This is a beautiful example of grace and a lesson we all learn from, Lisa. So many times we do jump to assumptions. I desire to give grace since I need it so much myself. Edward provided a picture of grace. And so did Christ on the cross.
Your personal experience shared here is so inspiring, Lisa. Yes, we can be way too quick to make assumptions about another person just because of their looks or the way they talk. May we remember that God doesn’t see the outside appearance, but His focus is on the heart. Let us not be stingy with our grace.
Blessings!
Good post: it made me think about my assumptions about people!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
wow what a lesson and one I would have jump to also. Assuming is oh so easy isn’t it? I love how you changed this to jump to grace. I will remember that!
We do jump to conclusions too many times, don’t we? I love your transparency here Lisa.
Thank you for sharing this experience with us & what grace Edward gave.
blessings, Jennifer
Lisa, this is such a special post. We all make assumptions, don’t we? We have some young men who were in this country going to Bible college so that they could go back to their home country and start churches so that their people could hear the gospel. They call us Mom and Dad and we love them as if they were our own. However, any time that we would take them out to a public park or a restaurant, I was always conscious of the stares that we got from people. But we can take this past the color of our skin and yet make assumptions of others who do not dress as we dress, or who have their bodies covered with tattoos, or how many rings they have in different parts of their bodies. I know we can assume what they are like because I have been guilty of doing it. And I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit each time. Now I try to be that person who extends grace and in doing so, I have had some wonderful conversations with people who look different than me, but who still have a soul. xx
Thank you for sharing this moving story, Lisa. “I want to jump quicker to grace and tread slower to conclusions.” Me, too! Love and blessings to you!
Thank you Lisa for sharing this thought-provoking story with us at #weekendcoffeeshare.
The melting pot, United States of America! Your experience is a great lesson to learn from. Thank you for sharing!
Take care and best wishes.
Jump to grace. I love that, Lisa, and I’m going to keep it mind!
A caring heart, a grace-giving heart extends care, regardless of the condition of immigration status – and citizenship. Your story shows how to live grace in the daily moments.
dear Lisa, more than ever our default mode seems to be to jump rather than to pause and consider. thank you for this nudge toward kindness and consideration, friend.
GREAT post!! Especially in today’s Political climate here in the United States….America has forgot where it came from and I am the proud grand daughter of Immigrants from Poland who barely learned to speak English….
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
A great lesson – it’s so relevant to what’s happening at present in your country.
In India, there’s so much of hatred being spewed over the religion, food choices, language of other Indians. Only Grace can save us all. Thank you for your always thoughtful posts, Lisa.
This is such a beautiful lesson for us all to learn from. “In the future, I want to jump quicker to grace and tread slower to conclusions.” Me too! I am so very grateful for the Edwards in our lives!
Here I am a week late to commenting. Uggh..no WCS for me this week as we’re on vacation but I’m taking time in the quiet mornings to comment. I have totally done this…a lady came into work and she clearly looked of a hispanic ethnicity and there was another person who didn’t speak english and I asked if she knew spanish or something like that. She actually didn’t and I don’t even think she was of mexican decent. I felt so dumb. I apologized and she gave the same answer. You just don’t know. and they could very well have that ethnicity but born and raised here so yes, american.
Aw, what a beautiful life lesson for us all. He sounds like such a sweet, sweet man.
I love the idea of jumping to grace instead of conclusions.
Oh, ouch, what a vulnerable moment for you—thank you for sharing the golden nugget of the lesson you gleaned. One more way that your being curious is serving all of us!
Lisa: You are right. Sometimes we jump to conclusions that are incorrect. I have a friend at church that is very different than I. She has a “muscular disease” that she wasn’t told the name of for several years. She has several children; I have one child. She is divorced; I am married. There are certain questions I would never ask her. Because she would probably think I was judging her. Peace and blessings to you and yours.
Oh a good reminder, thanks for writing this.