Lisa notes

Is Cynicism Destroying Us?

By LisaNotes January 17, 2025 Encouragement 7 Comments

Two Senators, Two Perspectives

The two senators from my state walk into two press conferences. They’re both asked their opinions on the California fires.

One senator bluntly declares that Californians “don’t deserve” help. The other, while acknowledging financial constraints, says, “The people of California need to know that America stands with them, and that’s the message I plan to send.”

Which senator would you want representing you?

The cynical and stingy one?
Or the discerning and compassionate one?

Make it more personal:

Which senator would you want as a friend if you were in tough times?
And, maybe more importantly, which person would you hope to be if someone needs your help?

The Rise of Cynicism

As someone who cares deeply about politics and our democracy, I’m troubled as I wrestle with cynicism myself. Which politicians are trustworthy, and which ones are as detestable as they appear?

I know I’m not alone in the struggle. Cynicism is on the rise across America.

In 1972, nearly half of Americans agreed with the statement, “Most people can be trusted.”
By 2018, only 33% felt that way.
By 2025? I can’t imagine how much further that number has fallen.

How cynical are you?

Consider these three statements from Jamili Zaki’s book, Hope for Cynics:

No one cares much what happens to you.
Most people dislike helping others.
Most people are honest chiefly through fear of getting caught.

Zaki says that the more statements you agree with, the more likely you are to be suspicious of family, friends, and strangers.

Cynicism vs. Skepticism

I don’t want to be cynical. Cynical people aren’t pleasant. They aren’t approachable. They aren’t helpful.

So what can we do to avoid cynicism? One of Zaki’s suggestions surprised me: become skeptical.

I often confuse cynicism and skepticism, but they are actually quite different from each other. Zaki defines cynicism as a lack of faith in people, but skepticism as a lack of faith in assumptions.

To practice skepticism instead of cynicism:

Notice when you think you already know all the answers.
Question your assumptions; ask yourself why you hold this opinion.
Pay closer attention to what you actually see and hear in front of you.

When I do that, I am reminded that people are pretty good after all. For example, when I watch clips of volunteers helping fire victims in California, I’m uplifted. I remember that most people do step up for each other in times of trouble.

Humanity is kinder than we often give it credit for.

But what about the truly bad stuff? Of course there are people who do bad things. Some people prove they aren’t worthy of our trust. (Some of those people may be politicians?!!)

But I believe the harmful, selfish ones are in the minority. Far more people do good things. I see them. I hear them.

And I want to learn from them.

The Path Forward

Skepticism helps us remain open to the goodness in the world. It allows us to hold opinions lightly, collect evidence, and challenge our own biases. It reminds us that not all people or institutions are untrustworthy.

It’s unhealthy to be distrustful of everything.

The sorting of America isn’t working in our favor. If “my side” entirely distrusts “your side” and vice versa, we’ll never uncover shared values or work toward a better future together.

But instead, if we ask questions instead of making hateful assumptions, if we listen to each other’s stories instead of opinions only, and if we celebrate common ground when we find it, we might begin to heal some of our rifts.

Zaki says,

Trust loudly.
Savor goodness with others.
Put hopeful skepticism into action.

As I watch my two senators take opposite approaches to the California fire victims, I see one driven by cynicism and distrust, while the other is motivated by compassion and hope.

I know which senator is making a more positive difference with their attitude, and which one continues to create more headaches for everybody.

Because cynicism hurts everyone, not just the cynic.

But skepticism? It might just open the door to connection, healing, and a brighter path forward.

Watch for kindness around you. You might be amazed at what you find. I know I am.

I still believe most people can be trusted. I see too much good in them to remain a cynic.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Which Family Member Do You Wish You’d Known Better?

Did you ever wish you could drive? What was fun to you? Could you imagine living outside of Mississippi?

During my childhood years in the 1960s and 1970s, my siblings and I often went to Mississippi during the summers to stay two weeks with my grandparents. (Except for my youngest sister; she cried to stay home, so Mama let her.)

We would stay one week with Mamaw (my paternal grandmother) in Springville, and one week with Granddaddy and Grandma (my maternal grandparents) in Toccopola.

I remember making mud pies outside in the yard at Mamaw’s, and walking to the store to buy candy at Grandma’s.

Late 1960s, Grandma and me

1987, Mamaw and me

But overall I have only a handful of memories from those summers. I wish I had more. Especially of my grandmothers.

My grandmothers seemed very different from each other. Though they lived only a few miles apart in rural Mississippi—both grew up in poor farming families, working hard for what little they had—I viewed Mamaw as the more country woman (she had no air conditioning in her house where she birthed her babies and eventually died) and I saw Grandma as the more city woman (she lived in a neighborhood and near a store).

Mamaw was a homebody who loved taking care of her chickens and her yard dogs. Grandma liked buying purses and shoes and dressing up for church.

I would like to have known my grandmothers more. I would like to have understood their backstories.

Were they in love when they married, or did they marry more for convenience?
Did they feel oppressed as women, not voting, not driving, not having a job? Could they even imagine an alternative?
What would they have changed in their cultures, if they could have?

I wish I could ask them these questions and more.

Like, did they see us grandkids as different too? Being one of four kids in my family, I always felt I was just part of a group. Did my grandmothers distinguish much among us? Did they see us as just “the grandkids” or did they know each of us as individuals, too?

If I could have them both back for a day, I’d love to get to know them more as individuals too. I’d learn more about who they were and understand better how their lives rippled out into mine. I’d also want to see what they would think of this granddaughter who is now all grown up with grandchildren of her own.

Instead, I can only talk with family members living in my life right now. It’s these people I can see as the unique individuals they are. I can get to know them better and let them know they are loved. And I can share my own backstory to those who are curious to know.

Who would you like to have known better? Who can you get to know better?

Now is the time.

Share in the comments.

Do You Write In Your Calendar With Ink or Pencil?

By LisaNotes January 10, 2025 Ripple: One Word 2025, Uncertainty: My One Word 2021 31 Comments

The Unwanted Text

I wake up early, feeling good about the jump start I’d wanted today. With errands to run later, I want to get going.

But my phone dings as I walk into the kitchen for breakfast. I open my text messages.

It’s from my hair stylist. I’m surprised to hear from her—I’m scheduled to see her in two hours. I read the message to discover her throat is burning, she has a headache, and she feels nauseous.

She says she needs to stay home. And of course I agree. I express my sympathy for her and assure her we’ll catch up later.

But being honest, I also notice a pang of disappointment for myself.

My day is disrupted.

Filling in New Calendars

It was only yesterday that I’d decided to finally make time to fill in my new 2025 calendar, an annual ritual I’ve performed as far back as I can remember.

Armed with a box of markers, I sat at the table and transferred birthdays in orange, anniversaries in green, and “for-sure” appointments in black, flipping month to month from the old calendar to the new.

Filling in a new calendar brings me a feeling of certainty, seeing the rhythm of recurring events laid out neatly on those fresh, blank pages. Knowing there are things that don’t change from year to year.

When I finished, I had dropped last year’s calendar into the box at the top of my closet, on top of old calendars from previous years, and I hung the new calendar on the kitchen wall.

Done.

But, actually, not done at all.

Plan in Pencil, Not Ink

After the text this morning, I’m now pulling the 2025 calendar off the wall already. With a black pen, I cross out today’s haircut. One of my “for-sure” plans—written in ink—is inaccurate.

While I’m at it, I also strike through tomorrow’s lunch date and tomorrow night’s concert. Snow is in our forecast, and in Alabama, even a light dusting (or even the mention of one) cancels all events for a couple of days.

Drawing lines through my plans, I’m discouraged. I’m uncomfortable when life is so unpredictable.

The ink we use to write our “for-sure” appointments can’t hold up to the reality of life’s ripples. I had already been reminded of this when I was filling in birthdays on my calendar, having to halt at certain names because the person had died in 2024. On the 2025 calendar, this loved one would no longer age another year.

And now my stylist’s illness has rippled into my own morning, canceling not just my haircut but also the errands I’d planned around it, further rippling through my entire day.

A Life of Ripples

Life is a giant pond of ripples. We’re all more interconnected than we realize. Your life ripples into mine, and mine into yours.

I didn’t write it anywhere on my calendar, but one goal I have for myself this year is to be more aware of these ripples. And instead of resisting them or falling apart at their disruptions, I want to stay open to them.

My contentment level often depends on my ability to adapt to the unpredictable ripples.

The future isn’t meant to be written in ink. It’s too unpredictable, too uncertain. It’s best to write our plans in pencil. So when the ripples come—and they will come—we can be fluid enough to ride the waves instead of being overturned by them.

By December 31, 2025, nearly all 365 squares on my calendar will be filled with the story of a year, one day at a time. Several of those squares will likely contain appointments for haircuts. But just not today’s square.

So for today, looking at the blank spaces ahead, I take a deep breath and remind myself: stay open to life’s unexpected ripples.

My One Word for 2025 is Ripple. Are you choosing a word, too? How has your week already been changed by ripples? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Raising the Spirit of Justice: A Children’s Book That Speaks to All Ages

By LisaNotes January 7, 2025 Book reviews 7 Comments

This Is How It Opens

You can feel your emotions stirring, even on page 1 of this children’s book, because as an adult, you already know how this story will unfold. It begins:

“I was there
on the shores of West Africa
with a royal and majestic people.”

And so you read on. On page 2, the weight deepens:

“I was there
on the slave ships.
I rose within their minds,
larger than the waves that carried them.
Resisting torment.”

And then, on page 3, there it is, the beautiful declaration:

“I am the Spirit of Justice.”

You breathe a little easier—but only for a moment—because you know the horrors of history.

Jemar Tisby Speaks

I’ve read two of Jemar Tisby’s previous books—The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism and How to Fight Racism: Courageous Christianity and the Journey Toward Racial Justice. Both are eye-opening, important, and necessary. (For my review of How to Fight Racism, check out “So, Are We Going to Talk About This?“.)

Tisby, PhD, is a former pastor turned history professor, public historian, national speaker, and bestselling author. I highly recommend following Tisby’s work.

And while I haven’t read it yet, I feel confident recommending Tisby’s newest, well-researched book, The Spirit of Justice: True Stories of Faith, Race, and Resistance.

I Am the Spirit of Justice

But with this children’s book—I Am the Spirit of Justice—I’m discovering another side of Tisby—his poetic bent. And it’s not surprising. Tisby is someone who knows how to use words well, and often wordsmiths can move between prose and poetry easier than you’d think.

I don’t know if the shift was easy for him, but he absolutely turns it on in this brilliant children’s book along with his coauthor and poet Malcolm Newsome.

Is this topic too heavy for children? Many in my region of the country would say yes. They are actively fighting to erase this true but ugly chapter of U.S. history from books and minds.

But maybe those critics need to read Tisby’s books for adults before trying to eliminate books like this one for children.

Because how can we celebrate and nurture the spirit of justice that has risen in this country if we refuse to acknowledge the extreme oppression it rose from?

Let the Spirit Continue to Rise

Tisby describes this Spirit powerfully:

“So I erupted
like a volcano.
Igniting faith in the souls
who risked everything
to deliver freedom to all.”

The Spirit of Justice isn’t a new phenomenon. Justice has been embedded in humans all along. Tisby simply highlights it within our historical context in a way we may not have considered before—and yes, points it out to our children.

Not in an inappropriate way. You won’t find graphic descriptions of the violence and cruelty endured by people of African descent over the past 400 years in the U.S.

But you will read about the hate that “built invisible walls called segregation” and how it tried to silence people.

And how each time, hate was met by this Spirit of Justice:

“Even in the midst
of horrifying brutality.
Reminding the world
that my loved ones still matter.”

May this force continue to “rumble like an earthquake” throughout our world.

And may the Spirit of Justice continue to rise in each of us.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

P.S. If you get the book, don’t skip over the Author’s Note on the last page—it offers brief but important insights about each page. It’s a must-read too.

My thanks to NetGalley and Zonderkidz-Books
for the review copy of this book

9 Books I Recommend – January 2025

By LisaNotes January 3, 2025 Books I Recommend 20 Comments

“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.”
– Frederick Douglass

Here are 7 nonfiction books and 2 novels I recommend from my recent reads.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Do You Still Talk to Grandma?
When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love
by Brit Barron

Brit Barron gets vulnerable in sharing how we can navigate hard conversations with people we love. She shares from her own life as well as from her professional experiences in how we can disagree, yet still stay connected, when possible, with family members and friends who have differing opinions.

2. Disability Visibility
First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century
by Alice Wong

This book of compiled essays opened my eyes to the complexity and resiliency among the disabled community in ways I hadn’t considered before. Each essay is from a perspective different than my own as a nondisabled person. I want to continue to grow in awareness of the challenges others face, and be a better ally for disability justice in whatever ways I can.

3. Aging as a Spiritual Practice
A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
by Lewis Richmond

I first borrowed this book from the library, but after I finished reading it, I bought my own copy so I could read it again. It blends personal reflections and practical meditations with wisdom cleaned from Buddhist philosophy. As I age, I appreciate books like this that help me see aging as an opportunity for growth instead of as something to fear.

4. The Road to Wisdom
On Truth, Science, Faith, and Trust
by Francis S. Collins

Francis Collins, a physician, a geneticist, and a previous Director of the National Institutes of Health for three Presidents, is also a man of integrity and faith. His book offers mature guidance for clearer navigation of the divisions in our country. I appreciate his advice to seek truth, build trust, and approach life’s dilemmas with humility.

5. The Violent Take It by Force
The Christian Movement That Is Threatening Our Democracy
by Matthew D. Taylor

This is a deeply researched and eye-opening look at the rise of Christian nationalism and its impact on American politics and religion. While some sections felt a bit too detailed for me, the overall insights into the movement’s influence, especially its ties to far-right ideologies, were both solid and unsettling—definitely worth the read for anyone trying to understand what has been happening in America the past few years.

6. Star-Spangled Jesus
Leaving Christian Nationalism and Finding A True Faith
by April Ajoy

I follow April Ajoy on Instagram because she has a gift for making me laugh while tackling serious issues in the Christian world. So I was pleased to find that her book is just as engaging. Unlike some of the more academic takes on Christian nationalism (such as the one above, The Violent Take It By Force), this personal memoir is funny and accessible, while still being thought-provoking.

7. Hope for Cynics
The Surprising Science of Human Goodness
by Jamil Zaki

Be skeptical, not cynical. I wanted to read this book because I don’t want to give in to cynicism—I want to remember that trust, in the right people and places, still matters. With a mix of science and storytelling, this book gives practical ways to stay grounded in hope without ignoring hard truths.

FICTION

8. Nineteen Minutes
by Jodi Picoult

Even though Nineteen Minutes is one of Picoult’s older novels, it’s just as heartbreakingly relevant today since we continue to face one mass shooting after another in America. The story centers on a small-town high school shooting and follows the lives of those affected, including Josie, a student who survived but struggles to understand what really happened, and her mother, the judge who could potentially preside over the case.

Nineteen Minutes is one of my favorite 7 novels that I read in 2024.

9. Perfectly Nice Neighbors
by Kia Abdullah

This novel follows Salma, a Bangladeshi woman who moves with her family to a suburban neighborhood, and immediately runs into trouble with her White neighbor, Tom, after he removes her son’s anti-racist banner. It’s a twisty thriller that shows how small conflicts can spiral out of control. The plot was frustrating to me at times as the characters kept ramping up their conflicts in unnecessary ways, but it also felt realistic because I know this can happen in real life, too.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

Tranquility by Tuesday
9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters
by Laura Vanderkam
Advice for Future Corpses (And Those Who Love Them)
A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
by Sallie Tisdale
Nexus
A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI
by Yuval Noah Harari
Fierce Love
A Bold Path to Ferocious Courage and Rule-Breaking Kindness That Can Heal the World
by Jacqui Lewis
The Hidden Roots of White Supremacy
And the Path to a Shared American Future
by Robert P. Jones

What good book have you read lately? Please share in the comments.

sharing at these linkups

Throw Your Rock in the Water: How Small Actions Create Big Ripples
{My One Word of the Year}

By LisaNotes January 1, 2025 Ripple: One Word 2025 34 Comments

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
– Anne Frank

Throwing Rocks into the Water

When you throw a rock into a calm pond, the splash you create puts energy into the water. That energy then spreads out in ripples, moving in circles far beyond the spot where you threw the rock. Even after the rock has disappeared beneath the surface, the ripples keep traveling outward.

This natural phenomenon is more than just science; it’s a metaphor for life. Our actions—big or small—create ripples that affect the world around us.

This is what I want to be more aware of and intentional about in 2025—Ripples.

The Power of Small Actions

It’s easy to feel like small things don’t matter. We’re often drawn to big dreams and grand gestures because today’s tiny actions seem too insignificant.

But what if, instead of downplaying our baby steps, we view them as movement creators?

Why Small Steps Matter:

For better and for worse, we’ve all seen how the impact of one small action spreads out—just like ripples in a pond. They matter. Why? Because . . .

Small actions are manageable and sustainable.
They build momentum over time.
They inspire others to take action too.

Intention Instead of Control

One lesson I keep coming back to in my life is this: we can’t always control the outcomes of our actions, but we can better control our initial action, more carefully choosing the pebble we want to drop into the water.

What I Can Control:

The pebbles I choose to drop in—the actions I take each day.
The energy I bring to those actions—compassion, kindness, and love.
My awareness of the ripples created by others—their influence on me and my response.

What I Can’t Control:

How far the ripples travel.
Who they touch or how they’re received.
What happens after the ripples fade.

This perspective is freeing to me. It reminds me to focus on the present moment, to act in alignment with my values, and to trust that the ripples will take care of themselves.

January’s Focus: Practicing Awareness

To start the year, I’m committing to being more aware of the ripples I create and the ones I experience from others. My plan includes:

Weekly Journal Reflections – Writing about actions I’ve taken and effects I’ve noticed.
Ripple Activities – Practicing small, intentional acts of kindness, like writing thank-you notes or offering encouragement.
Mindful Observations – Paying attention to how others’ actions affect me and learning from their examples.

I want these habits to anchor me in the present and remind me that even the smallest efforts can have lasting impact.

Letting Ripples Do the Work

One thing I love about the ripple effect is that it doesn’t require constant effort. Once the rock is thrown, the ripples spread naturally.

This takes the pressure off me, allowing me to focus on doing my one thing well each day instead of wasting energy trying to manage the outcome.

We all have rocks to throw into the ponds of our lives—actions, words, and choices that create ripples in the world. What rock do you want to drop in this week? Even the smallest pebble makes waves.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment to make a big splash. Trust the ripples to carry your kindness further than you can do on your own.

What is one small kindness you can drop into the world this week? Have you chosen One Word for 2025? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Sign up here if you want to receive our One Word of the Year monthly newsletter and get access to our Facebook group for more ideas on how to practice your own One Word.