But Are You Different Enough?

Are you different enough?

You’re probably quite different from your spouse. In more than one way.

But are you different enough?

Instead of viewing your relationship differences as negatives, what if you used them to your advantage?

Here are 5 ways to use personality differences to build up your relationships, not tear them down.

Read it all here:
“Are You Different Enough? 5 Ways to Use Differences in Your Relationship”

Your goal isn’t to become exactly alike, but to sharpen each other’s uniqueness.

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I’m writing today at Beth Steffaniak‘s blog, Messy Marriage.

Will you join me there to see 5 ways we can use our differences?

You can find the whole series, “Lessons Learned in Marriage” at Beth’s blog.

Blog-Series-Messy-Marriage


5 Links, Books, and Things I Love – November 2018

What was a highlight of your October? What are you looking forward to in November?

1 Second Everyday

[If you can’t see the 1 Second Everyday video, click here]

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5 Things Around the Web

1. Why You Can Be a Kinda Contemplative Christian
by Ed Cyzewski

“It is far better to begin imperfectly, to be ‘kinda contemplative,’ than to have no silence, no centering, no attempts to reach God in the stillness of our souls.”

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2. The 17 Phrases that ‘Scare’ Introverts the Most
by Jenn Granneman

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#9, 11, 17 . . . a lot of these made me laugh because they are so true for me.

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3. Why Can’t More Than Four People Have a Conversation at Once?
by Corinne Purtill

“It’s called the ‘dinner party problem’: A table of four or fewer people may happily converse as one, but a party of five or more will splinter fairly quickly into separate conversations of two or three or four people each. What is it about the number four?”

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4. In a Breaking World, We Can’t Handle Knowing So Much
by Cameron Smith

Information overload. I feel this exactly. Do we have to know everything?

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5. Year 40 – Moses Lost in the Desert

Moses - Lost in the Desert - GPS

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5 Things with Words

1. ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ Voted America’s Best-Loved Novel   

Great-American-Read

I loved the Great American Read series this summer/fall. While To Kill a Mockingbird is not my all-time favorite (and #2 Outlander wouldn’t make my list at all!), I’m good with the remaining top 10. It was fun being reminded of favorite books and discovering new ones to read, such as The Prayer of Owen Meany. I’m almost finished with it.

See the full results here.

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2. How Many Books in Your Home?
by Naaman Zhou

How many books are in your house? Even if you’re not reading them, just their presence might make you smarter. So they say…I’m not sure myself.

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3. Why Are We Still Teaching Reading the Wrong Way?
by Emily Hanford

Kids can learn to read when they’re taught properly. So why are we not using the proven methods every time?

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4. 10 Solid Gold ESL Teaching Tips to Maximize Your Students’ Talking Time
by Ryan

But these tips aren’t just for ESL. They are good tips for ALL of us in our explanations and conversations.

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5. Four Books I Recommend to Bring Us Together 

Books bring us together with people we would never meet otherwise. Here are four books I recommend from what I finished this month.

Books-Together

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5 Things I Love

1. Done! #Write 31 Days

This is the last year for #Write31Days with Crystal. I decided on a new theme at the last minute—Handmade: Find God in Your Story. It about wore me out keeping up. But I’m glad I did it.

THANK YOU to all who commented on the three questions a day throughout the month, either here on my blog or on Instagram! I learned so much about you and your walk with God.

You have encouraged my own faith!

Handmade - Finding God in Your Story_tw

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2. Great American Read

great american read

While we were killing time in Nashville waiting for a Rob Bell talk, we stumbled across a book fair. And a PBS booth with The Great American Read!

Jeff’s pick, The Alchemist, ended up coming in at #70. One of my favorites, The Book Thief, was #14.

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3. Liz Hurley Ribbon Run 5K

We finished the Ribbon Run again!

Jeff volunteered for the fun job this year of holding the grandbaby while we did the race.

I walked for Christi, the daughter of one of my best friends. Christi was diagnosed with breast cancer this year and went through chemo. And now appears to be cancer-free, praise God!

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4. Hurricane Michael Cleanup

Jeff and I got to go to Panama City, Florida, last week to do cleanup work with our PAR disaster relief group. It was difficult to see all the destruction. But we were blessed to meet family after family who are doing their best to get back on their feet.

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5. My Favorite Bee – First Halloween

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My favorite little bumble bee and Winnie the Pooh, too. We were so glad Morgan and family got to come up for our family’s Halloween Party again this year.

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5 Things on the Blog

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What was a highlight from your October? What are you looking forward to in November? Please share in the comments.

previous Links and Books


On the Blog – October 2018

Summaries and links to blog posts for October 2018

  • Hurricane Michael Aftermath – Get Close – Day 31 of Handmade (10/31)
    Sometimes you have to get close. We’re getting up close and personal with Hurricane Michael this week. Panama City is now more than a vacation spot to us.
  • Hear A Different Voice – Day 30 of Handmade (10/30)
    Listen for a different voice. We weren’t speaking the same language. But we found a way to communicate.
  • Books I Recommend to Bring Us Together – Day 29 of Handmade (10/29)
    Books bring us together with people we would never meet otherwise. Here are four books I recommend from what I finished this month.
  • Begin with Worship – Day 28 of Handmade (10/28)
    How would you describe worship? It’s a perfect way to start a day, a week, a life.
  • See the Whole Picture – Day 27 of Handmade (10/27)
    It helps to see the whole picture. I don’t like mopping the floor. But when I think of my grandbaby crawling on it, it’s much easier to do.
  • When It’s Not Your First Time – Day 26 of Handmade (10/26)
    There’s a first time for everything. While we can never repeat a first ourselves, we can enjoy a first with someone else.
  • How Does He Capture You? – Day 25 of Handmade (10/25)
    Is it safe to put all our eggs in one basket, if the Lord is holding the basket?
  • You Know Enough Already – Day 24 of Handmade (10/24)
    Sometimes we think we have to know everything before we can do something. But as believers, it’s more about who we belong to than how much we know.
  • Uncommon Things at Church – Day 23 of Handmade (10/23)
    This homeless man was going to prove it wasn’t just another day at church. Uncommon things happen when we wake up.
  • Take the Shortcut? – Day 22 of Handmade (10/22)
    Sometimes shortcuts give us the help we need. But other times? They rob us of time with God.
  • Just Start – Day 21 of Handmade (10/21)
    Sometimes we fail to start because we can’t imagine finishing. But start anyway. Take one step today.
  • Do You Like an Audience? – Day 20 of Handmade (10/20)
    Some people crave an audience. Others of us avoid the limelight. Which are you?
  • When Did You Convert – Day 19 of Handmade (10/19)
    When we turn around and head a different direction, we’ve experienced conversion. God continues to bring us times of conversion. These are no less real than our initial conversions.
  • Call Off the Search – Day 18 of Handmade (10/18)
    We look and look. But what if we already have it? Call off the search.
  • Worship in the Pause – Day 17 of Handmade (10/17)
    Just sit still in the pause. It may birth the most radical worship you can offer.
  • Pray to Do More Than Pray – Day 16 of Handmade (10/16)
    We often pray for people. But what if God wants to use us as an answer? We pray we’ll do more than pray.
  • When You Get Your Grace – Day 15 of Handmade (10/15)
    When will you receive a fresh supply of grace? Always today.
  • When You’re Afraid to Ask – Day 14 of Handmade (10/14)
    Why don’t you ask God for more? You don’t have to know how or when or who he’ll use to answer.
  • Call or Text? What’s the Best Way to Talk? – Day 13 of Handmade (10/13)
    Text or call? How do you decide what mode of communication to use in each situation?
  • Which Side Are You On? The Great Divide – Day 12 of Handmade (10/12)
    By just one question, we classify people as right or left. What if we asked a different question instead, to heal instead of divide?
  • Oil the Hinges – Day 11 of Handmade (10/11)
    Doors are made to both open and close. Are your hinges oiled?
  • How Do You Worship? – Day 10 of Handmade (10/10)
    Often we know what and why we do what we do. But how to do it? That can vary. How do you worship?
  • Breathe in the Inspiration – Day 9 of Handmade (10/9)
    When days are dark, what or who inspires you to keep going? What is God inspiring you to do in this season?
  • Step Out of Your Comfort Zone – Day 8 of Handmade (10/8)
    Comfort zones feel safe. But not much growth happens there. What comfort zone is God calling you out of?
  • This Is Why It’s Safe to Hope – Day 7 of Handmade (10/7)
    Sometimes we’re fearful to get our hopes up. But it’s safe to. Because God is already in our tomorrows.
  • Do You Belong at Church? – Day 6 of Handmade (10/6)
    Where do you go to church? Do you belong there?
  • What Do You Need to Let Go Of? – Day 5 of Handmade (10/5)
    What do you need to let go of? Sometimes we have to let go of one thing before we can receive another.
  • Why, Why, Why – Day 4 of Handmade (10/4)
    We never know as much as we think we do. So keep asking why, why, why.
  • Who Do You Believe? – Day 3 of Handmade (10/3)
    What do you believe in? Who do you believe? Join me for “Handmade – Finding God in Your Story”
  • 5 Links, Books, and Things I Love – October 2018 (10/2)
    Links and pictures of articles, books, and things I love for October 2018
  • What Scares You? Day 2 – Handmade (10/2)
    What are you afraid of? Which fear do you wish God would take away?
  • Where Is God in Your Story? Handmade – A #Write31Days Series (10/1)
    Where has God been in your story? Answer 3 questions for 31 days to find God in your handmade story.

 


Hurricane Michael Aftermath – Get Close – Day 31 of Handmade

Close

Sometimes you have to get close enough to see. With your own eyes.

To touch with your hands. To hear with your ears.

So you can feel with your heart.

I’m in Panama City, Florida, this week. But not on vacation.

We did that a month ago. Stayed on the beach. Played in the water. Ate fish at night.

Hurricane Michael Visits

Then 2 weeks later, Hurricane Michael visited Panama City, Florida, too.

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Now we’re back getting closer to this place than we’ve ever been before. Now we are in homes and in neighborhoods and meeting people who live and work here year round.

And they are hurting. Around Panama City and further east is a war zone. So many beautiful trees were broken off or ripped from the ground and became missiles in roofs and windows and vehicles. Homes.

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So as we get our hands on the mess, we are closer to Panama City than we’ve ever been before.

It’s Personal

No longer will the wait staff at our favorite restaurants here be nameless faces. The staff at the condos will now be more real to us than ever. The cashiers at the grocery stores will be personal to us.

The people will run into around town might be one of our new friends.

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Because this is more to us now than a vacation destination. This is somebody’s home.

And it’s personal.

Please don’t forget the survivors.

Keep praying. They want that. They need that.

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Three Questions

Here are our three questions of the day:

(1) If you could travel anywhere you’ve never been, where would you go?

(2) Do you have a favorite vacation spot from your childhood or currently?

(3) Who do you think God wants you to really see that you’ve previously overlooked?

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What are your answers? Please share in the comments.

My answers

(1) Probably Europe

(2) Anywhere with a good beach

(3) The people in front of me this week in Panama City

Get the whole Handmade series here

Handmade - Finding God in Your Story


Hear A Different Voice – Day 30 of Handmade

Voice

She was trying hard to get the verbs right.

He is tall.
I am tall.
They are tall.

It was a struggle. English is a difficult language to pick up as an adult.

Hear a Different Voice

But we kept working through our ESL lesson together.

I’m brand new at teaching English as a Second Language. This was only my second week. I was discovering there were many words I take for granted that she couldn’t understand.

Between her minimal English and my minimal Spanish, we were struggling to communicate.

A Different Tongue

When we speak different languages, it’s sometimes easier to just ignore each other and walk away.

And different languages don’t have to be tongues like Spanish and English.

  • Our different language may be Christianese.
  • It may be technical work jargon.
  • It may be a series of private sayings within a family.

Within our own subcultures, these languages work. We can communicate well when everyone knows the same words.

But once we step outside our boundaries, we have to broaden our vocabularies.

Learn someone else’s language. Then teach them yours. Do it with intention. Do it with frequency.

The English lesson with my student may not have been super successful that night. She eventually called in her 8-year-old daughter to help translate and bridge the gap.

But we did have fun along the way. We laughed a lot. She tried telling me a story in Spanish about either her husband or her brother. Her speech was so fast I couldn’t understand the details, but maybe I got the gist of it. Body language helped fill the gaps.

I hope in weeks ahead we’ll be able to laugh more when we look back at how far we’ve come.

Because when we learn new words, not only are we picking up a new language, we’re also making new friends.

Three Questions

Here are our three questions of the day:

(1) Did you learn pig Latin as a child?

(2) What foreign languages do you know or are you around?

(3) How has God used voices from others to reveal a different part of his character to you? 

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What are your answers? Please share in the comments.

My answers

(1) Esyay, igpay atinlay asway unfay.

(2) The foreign language I hear the most consistently in Alabama is Spanish. I’ve been trying to learn it for years, but I’m slow.

(3) Spending time in El Salvador and Guatemala showed me how God can inspire contentment in people who live on far less than I could ever imagine. If they can be happy with God in their lack, I have no excuses in my comparative wealth.

Get the whole Handmade series here