I’ve known it for awhile—I worry too much. My imagination is deep and wide on things that can go wrong.
Yet here I sit.
It’s Friday night and I’m finally headed home after almost two weeks in Ohio. I’m scheduled to fly from Cleveland to Dallas, wait an hour and a half, then fly to Huntsville.
Except that our plans rarely go as expected (as seen around the web lately):
So when my first flight slips ten minutes, then thirty, then an hour, I begin worrying that I won’t reach my new gate in Dallas quick enough to catch my connecting flight, that there will be no more flights out of Dallas on Friday (if I ever get there anyway!), and that I’ll have to spend yet another night in a strange bed, this time without even my toothbrush or a change of clothes.
But then something happens.
The Spirit nudges me through a text from Jenna—yes, the Spirit can work even through iPhone’s autocorrect and definitely through our children!—and triggers a new thought in me:
Maybe all this is God. I’m not saying he’s making my first plane late (but I’m not saying he’s isn’t, either).
Maybe there’s space for contentment and less worries even in this situation?
I begin to feel the gift of grace, the desire to center into his will, to trust that he is in control now and later. Tomorrow can never outrun God’s grace.
And miracle of miracles, the worrying slows down. Peace fills the void. I recognize the change.
Progress! So even though I still worried in the beginning, it didn’t last as long. A baby step for sure, but as long as the gap between worry and acceptance is shrinking, it’s a win.
In the end, I did make my flight. I woke up in my own bed Saturday morning. It was a gift.
But also a gift was realizing that maybe I am worrying less these days, that even if my transformation is far from complete, it’s still alive and active.
And even if baby steps are all I take, I’ll praise God for them. All steps in the right direction, however small, are worth celebrating.
* * *
Are you a worrier, too? What helps you? Please share.
- 5 ways to stay in the now
- Are you losing your peace?
- Book review – Fearless by Max Lucado
- Believe better, worry less
- Do some heart surgery
- On the blog–April 2014