Lisa notes

20 Things to Learn from Lingering in 2020

By LisaNotes December 16, 2020 Encouragement, Linger 17 Comments

I didn’t see this year coming, did you?

What have you learned from 2020?

About life
About your relationships
About yourself
About God

Below are 20 lessons I learned from lingering in 2020.

It started when God gave me my word for 2020: Linger. I had no idea that by nudging me to “do less” he was going to challenge me more.

20 Lessons from 2020

1. If we only live for the moment, we won’t live very long.

2. Love has a speed. It’s slow.

The pandemic forced most of us to slow down a notch in 2020. We were forced to confront our hurry sickness by sitting with ourselves. And with each other.

John Mark Comer says this in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:

“Hurry kills relationships. Love takes time; hurry doesn’t have it. It kills joy, gratitude, appreciation; people in a rush don’t have time to enter the goodness of the moment.”

3. It’s better to be proactive than reactive.

4. There are more things we can’t understand than things we can.

5. I don’t like being called names. You don’t either.

The divisive political climate was particularly ugly this year. Rumors and slanders swirled around like a tornado.

But slinging mud helped no one. Name calling made things worse. Remembering we’re all God’s children—we’re all in this together—makes things better.

6. Staying home more is as good as I thought it could be, but also much harder.

7. When we don’t stand up for each other, we all fall down.

8. In hard things, be sad. It’s okay to cry it out.

I cried in 2020. A lot. About racial injustice. Spiking covid cases and deaths. Frustrating political tensions.

But crying was okay. It was healthy. Tears clean up our emotional buildup. They’re here to help us. Let them work for you.

[Read more: I Need My Tears]

9. Not everybody who survives a pandemic realizes they just survived a pandemic.

10. We give up too easily and don’t let go quickly enough.

11. To stay close, linger in conversation. Even if it’s only digital.

It’s easier to avoid the people we disagree with. But should we?

Maybe sometimes. But if we want to carry our relationships into 2021, we have to start talking to each other again, not just about each other.

12. Learn more about yourself. It helps you be less annoying.

I lingered in the Enneagram this year. I wrote a series in February, The Enneagram for Spiritual Growth (see the index here). I learned a lot of things, including this: If we’ll uncover our shadow sides, we’ll know where to shine the light.

13. Many Americans value individual freedom more than group sacrifices. But others give away everything they have to help a stranger. (And you can’t tell who is which by church attendance.)

14. We’re smarter when we work together.

15. We don’t need to know everything to know enough.

We don’t have to know everything about a virus, about a policy, about an issue before we can do better. Because of what we do know: God is always with us.

16. We are more connected to each other than we realize.

17. To take a step back from resentment, take a knee down.

I’m still working on this one. It’s been hard to not resent those who are spreading the virus by their carelessness.

But I don’t want to end the year with bitterness. Life may not be fair. But I want to love anyway.

18. We can look at the same things but not see things the same.

19. Traditions can change yet still be traditions.

20. Linger in the present, but stay hopeful about the future.

What did you learn from 2020? Share in the comments.

Are You Choosing One Word of the Year? Join Our Community!

By LisaNotes December 14, 2020 One Word Community, Uncertainty: My One Word 2021 60 Comments

If you’re looking for accountability for your One Word journey, !

Need help finding your One Word? See 7 tips for choosing your One Word of the Year.

When You Lose Your Word

Instead of New Year’s resolutions, a modern trend is to choose one word (or phrase) to concentrate on for a year. It’s often easier to keep up with one word than a list of resolutions.

Did you choose one word last year?
Were you excited when you chose it?
How long did it last?

If you’re like me, you get excited for a fresh start. Turning the corner into a new year brings hope.

But as the year drags on—or speeds by—our One Word can get tangled up in the barrage of words that assault us on a daily basis.

Sometimes we forget all about the word we’ve chosen. It gets lost in the noise.

And when we don’t intentionally watch for our word, we also can miss the gifts that can come through our words.

A Monthly Nudge for One Words

To encourage you, you’re invited to our small intentional community specifically for discussing our individual words.

It is a place to nudge each other at least once a month to remember our unique words we’ve each chosen.

To hear and be heard
To ask, “Where have you seen your word?”
To share ideas
To stay alert for gifts found through our words

Sign Up for One Word Community

If you’d like to engage with us monthly, sign up here.

For 2026, I’ll send you an email with ideas for practicing your words on the 19th of each month.

Then one week later, on the 26th of each month, we’ll meet back here at the blog to chat about our updates.

Also, if you blog or instagram or write a Facebook post about your word anytime during the month (but not required!), you can add your links on the 26th of each month at our monthly linkup. Others can benefit by following along your journey.

If you’re interested in joining our private One Word Facebook group, join here. We can talk about our One Words there anytime during the month.

Ready When You Are

Sometimes we choose our word. Sometimes our word chooses us.

However you receive your word of the year (or if you’re still waiting for it), we’d love to hear about it in our community.

For myself, I appreciate your accountability.

I’ve seen our words do some amazing things in years past. I’d love to see it happen again this year. Together.

And if you’d like, join our Facebook group here.

Read more:

Did you have one word last year? Do you have one word for the upcoming year? Please share in the comments.

5 Suggestions to Calm the Chaos
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes December 11, 2020 Grace & Truth Link-Up 3 Comments

Now Let’s Link Up!

Which of these 5 suggestions have you used to calm your chaos? 1-Pray, 2-Praise, 3-Music, 4-Outside, 5-Change of scenery. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Expect a Good Surprise from Jesus (+ A Christmas Recipe)

By LisaNotes December 10, 2020 Guest posts 1 Comment

Do you have a favorite recipe that you use only at Christmas? I have this one: Miss Miriam’s Surprise.

The title doesn’t indicate the deliciousness that you’ll be surprised with.

2020 has given us lots of surprises. We’ve not liked many of those.

But Jesus only surprises us with good things.

How watchful are you for the surprises he has in store for you?

Read it all here

I’m writing today at Do Not Depart for our #ChristmasTea series. Will you join me there?

How Much Do We Need to Know?

By LisaNotes December 8, 2020 Book reviews, Encouragement 16 Comments

Do You Want to Know?

If you could, would you want to know when you’ll die?

With the surge of COVID-19, maybe you’ve already contemplated the possibility of your own death or that of a family member or friend.

I often wonder if my death will be from Alzheimer’s. It’s how my mother died. It’s haunted me for years.

But would I take a test now to find out if I have Alzheimer’s? Probably not. I’d rather live with the uncertainty.

I’m not alone. A survey mentioned in Too Much Information states that 53% of respondents also said no, that they would not want to know if they will get Alzheimer’s.

How much do we really want to know?

Life Is Uncertain

I didn’t plan to read these two books at the same time. I didn’t even realize the significance of their pairing until almost after the fact.

But reading Too Much Information at the same time as Searching for Certainty was likely no coincidence.

And to make it even stranger, a few days after I began reading Searching for Certainty, I heard that its author Shelly Miller had just died after a short illness. Such a tragic loss to her family and our world.

Life’s circumstances are certainly uncertain. There are more things we don’t know, can’t know, than things we do know.

And we have to learn to live with that uncertainty, like it or not.

In Too Much Information, the author Cass Sunstein says that:

“If we want to know whether and when people want to know, we have to focus on how people think that they will feel if they end up knowing.”

Would you want to know what your friends really think about you? Only 42% of those polled would want to know.

This Is Enough to Know

Sometimes it’s best that we don’t know everything up front.

Shelly writes in Searching for Certainty,

“In fear, we can miss the obvious—that your uncertainty is God’s opportunity to reveal his great love for you.”

God never said he’d give us explanations for all that happens. Nor did he guarantee certainty in our circumstances.

“God doesn’t promise safety and security; he promises that he will be with you.”

Shelly suggests we “reframe uncertainty through the lens of the certainty of God’s love.”

Life has shown us much uncertainty in 2020. It’s made me uncomfortable. I’ve wanted to know more—times, dates, answers.

But one thing is certain: God’s love is always with us. When we don’t know much else, we can know that.

And that might be the most important thing we ever need to know.

Would you rather know or not know information like when or how you’ll die? Share thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to Net Galley for the
review copies of these books

Don’t Rush to the Answer – Linger in the Pause

By LisaNotes December 7, 2020 Linger, My stories 18 Comments

Is Everything Really “Fine”?

Our elderly friend had brought a chair outside. She was sitting in it when we walked up. We could tell something was wrong.

We asked her if she was okay. She blew off the question with, “Everything is fine.”

But I recognized the ploy. I sometimes use it myself.

We may try to hide behind our words, but our eyes often give us away. Her eyes were speaking.

We asked if there was anything we could pray about for her. She was silent.

So we became silent too.

What’s the Rush?

It’s hard to linger in silence.

We don’t like uncertainty.
We want answers.
We don’t like pain (ours or others).
We want relief.
We don’t like problems.
We want them fixed.

Answers and relief and solutions are good. They are healing. They are our goals.

But sometimes, in our rush to fix things, to get to the answer, to hurry to a resolution, we shortchange a relationship.

With our friend, we waited through the silence. And the silence was uncomfortable.

I don’t like long pauses in conversations with those I don’t know well. My mind starts grasping for something to say, anything to talk about.

But this time, we stayed with the pause.

And out of the silence arose a mumbled answer, “I just don’t like living here.” The dam broke. Our friend cried. She told us more. And more. We listened. We prayed.

We connected.

Rising from the Silence

Isn’t this how God often works with us? God doesn’t always rush in to tidy up our lives as soon we’re in a mess.

Instead, he gives us room to hash it out. He allows us to spin in circles if needed. He makes space for us to experiment with new ideas and toss around options. Yet all the while he sticks by us, allowing us to experience his presence.

God’s help isn’t always noisy. Sometimes it’s quiet.

I was thankful for the Spirit’s nudge to honor the initial silence with our friend. To listen a little longer. To linger in the pause. Even though it felt unnatural.

In the end, the silence brought fuller understanding, not less.

Instead of rushing to get an answer, I want to be willing to linger longer in the pause.

A better way may arise from the silence.

Is it hard for you, too, to linger in the pause? Share in the comments.