Should You Stop Moving On? Linger a Bit
Is Faster Better?
The last decade has been one of speed. Faster internet. Faster sprinters. In general, faster living.
But is faster always better?
Do we always need to move along quickly? Quicker? Quickest?
I’ve known for awhile that I personally value efficiency highly. I like maximum proficiency with minimal waste.
But perhaps too highly? Does our culture foster an idolatry of efficiency?
Here are two ways to slow down this decade, instead of speeding up.
Instead of feeding the idol, we can purposefully starve it.
1 – Redefine Waste
I don’t like waste. Of any kind.
I’ll squeeze a toothpaste tube dry. I balance my checkbook to the penny. I maximize a 22-minute workout routine from home (Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s trainer affirmed it for me this week).
And time? Of all things I hate to waste, it’s my time. I want to account for my hours and invest them wisely. My to-do list is tightly tied to my calendar so there’s a proper slot to finish each thing.
I want to live efficiently by properly stewarding my resources. It was drilled into me by my father, and hard-wired into me by God.
But can it be wasteful to use something all the way up?
Yes. It can be wasteful when we try to be too productive. We damage our health, our work, our relationships.
It can be more valuable to leave some left over for later.
- Leave space for growth.
- Leave margin to breathe.
- Leave downtime for renewal.
Live life less efficiently and more extravagantly.
2 – Do Fewer Things
No one likes to be rushed. Ask any 2-year-old when you’re pushing them to get dressed.
“Hurry up! Hurry up!” (It makes me anxious even typing it.)
But as much as I dislike hurrying, I also hate being late. I’d rather start preparing too soon, leave too early, and plan too far ahead than feel time clamping down on me at the last minute.
We feel the speed of 2020 pushing us to hurry more and more.
Intentionally counter the need for speed by consciously choosing slowness instead. Do fewer things and take longer doing them.
And when we accomplish less by eliminating things and moving slower? We can still feel more accomplished.
Living at a human pace instead of automatically rushing is more satisfying.
My Antidote to Waste and Hurry
Of all words NOT for me in 2020, “linger” would be my anti-word. Linger feels costly, too slow, even . . . wasteful.
Until I came across this:
“‘Lingering is the opposite of rushing,’ [KJ Dell-Antonia] says. It feels more grownup and luxurious than dawdling and dillydallying. It doesn’t imply that you have nothing to do or that you are avoiding the important stuff.
“[Lingering] implies that you have important things to do and you are giving them the time they deserve.”
– Laura Vanderkam, Off the Clock
This made me pause. It made me set the book down. It made me pray.
One Word 2020: Linger
Linger is now my word for 2020. Whether I like it or not. God gave it to me.
And I don’t want to waste it. I don’t want to hurry through it.
- I need Linger to fight my idolism of efficiency.
- I need Linger to calm my pace.
- I need Linger to stop moving on before it is time.
If I linger more this year, does that mean I’ll be inefficient? Will I have to live hurriedly to catch up on things left undone?
I hope not. God, I’m trusting you. Guide me through moments of when to linger and when to pass on through. Reset my priorities to fit the container of time you hand me.
“We’re in no hurry, God. We’re content to linger in the path sign-posted with your decisions. Who you are and what you’ve done are all we’ll ever want.”
Isaiah 26:8 (Message)
How I’ll Linger
I have a stack of books that I’ll be lingering through all year, reading slowly, stretching them out. They include, but aren’t limited to, these:
- Stay: Discovering Grace, Freedom, and Wholeness
- The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction
- A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
- Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving
- Thinking, Fast and Slow
- 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week
I’ll also use six concrete themes to rotate through and linger on through the year, including:
- Lingering in Conversation
- Lingering in Body
- Lingering in Silence
- Lingering in Experience
- Lingering in Sharing Details
- Lingering in Now
I’ll share specific examples later of how it’s happening and what I’m learning.
I’m not sure where God wants to take me through Linger.
But I won’t know if I don’t linger with him a bit to find out.
* * *
Does life feel too fast to you? How do you slow down? Please share thoughts (and your One Word) in the comments.
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Thanks for this! Funny- one of my daily mantras is “it’s ok to linger”. Glad other believers are taking the time to savor God’s moments in the midst of our hustle and bustle schedules.
That mantra fits perfect with my theme, Mike. Thanks for sharing it. I do want to take more time to savor the beauty of God’s presence in the ordinary and extraordinary moments that he gives us in our days. I felt so rushed in 2019; I’d like to rectify that in 2020.
Oh, I love it, Lisa! What a perfect word to define your year. I hope some of your learning to linger rubs off on me! I have been reading Mary Oliver lately. She was a woman who knew how to linger!
Hmmm…you’ve given me an idea that I should add poetry into my Linger year as well, Laurie. Poetry definitely makes me slow down. I haven’t read much Mary Oliver at all, but perhaps she’d be a great landing place for me.
“Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”
– Mary Oliver
How’s that for a start? 🙂
Laurie! I’d not read your comment. Do scroll down to a Mary Oliver poem that I just posted for Miss Lisa. How serendipitous!
Lynn
Linger is a good word. I think in our efficiency we can miss little things the Lord would like us to notice or hear because we spend so much time moving at the speed of light. One of the greatest gifts of retirement is being able to linger in the Lord’s presence, really savor a good cup of coffee, not need to rush when meeting with a friend, taking time to notice the last splashes of color at sunset, the nuances of my husband’s words and facial expressions that I love and had lost track of in all the very full years of speed, and more. My days and hours are purposeful still, but lingering has deepened the joy of them. I will be eager to see what this word and the experience of it adds to your life, Lisa. Great post!
You are good inspiration for me, Pam. Even though I consider myself retired (from homeschooling anyway), I’ve found that my life can often feel just as hectic, simply from my own doing. I can be a homebody, but even at home (maybe especially at home?) I can be quite busy. So thanks for sharing your experience. I hope to emulate it more this year. 🙂
Feels grown up and luxurious. I love this.
I love that line too, Lauren. I don’t always feel very grownup nor luxurious, so this is a pleasing concept. 🙂
ooh Lisa. Love that word, and admittedly, I hope to be able to linger over this post, but can’t now. Sigh. Maybe I can print to take w/ me, since my Mother has no internet. I’m home only briefly and am watching her full-time otherwise (brother is there now). This has to do w/ her recent surgery.
Wishing you ALL (my 2020 word!) love, joy, peace, and lingering long in the NY.
xo
Lynn
Praying for sweet time with your mother as you get extended hours with her. I know that’s also very difficult though. I did similarly with my mother, although she wasn’t always thrilled with it. Her last year with Alzheimer’s after my dad died was a difficult one. We wanted to stay with her but she complained vehemently about it, that we were treating her like a baby. It was SO uncharacteristic of my gentle mother.
Lisa, I’ve not yet read your post, but love etymology. Here ’tis! So, not having read what you said, as I see it, when you linger you are actually lengthening the time God gives you rather than wasting it. I think of lingering in His presence as an example.
Origin of linger
1250–1300; Middle English lengeren to dwell, remain (somewhere), frequentative of lengen, Old English lengan to delay, prolong, literally, lengthen. See long1, -er6
Oh, thank you for looking up the etymology and sharing it with me, Lynn! I do love it. What a beautiful concept: to actually lengthen the time God gives me. You’re a blessing. I love to linger with your words. 🙂
Thank you, Lisa. What a lovely, unexpected compliment from an author I greatly respect! Had to take a moment to comment. I’ve printed your post to take to Mother’s. Yes, lengthen your time w/ God… what a beautiful, encouraging truth. As for Mother, I see that you understand. I’m so sad about your mom. Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease (I lost a beloved friend to its early onset. It was horrifying). Some, though, do not become ill-tempered, but many. You knew it was NOT your mother, but still . . . so hard to take. I’m so sorry. My mother only complains that she thinks it is so hard or embarrassing for my brother and me. I’m there more than he, simply because he is employed. He’s being wonderful about it. So happy Mother is no longer in unrelenting pain!!! Happy NY. Can’t wait to read your post at Fern’s!
xo
L
Linger is the perfect word, Lisa! Yes, we all need to take time to savor our moments and our tasks in a more meaningful way going forward. I’ve learned that I’m actually more effectual and accomplish much more in the long run if I allow myself time to just be, to reflect, to ponder.
Blessings!
That’s the goal I’m aiming for, Martha. Thanks for sharing that. I want to value my “being” time as much as my doing time. They complement each other.
I told someone once that I don’t mind wasting time as long as it’s on my own terms. 🙂 Meaning, I get frustrated when interruptions and unexpected needs or requests derail my agenda for the day. But I also cannot physically or mentally stand a pressured, hurry, hurry, hurry schedule. And some times those interruptions are God’s appointment. So I struggle with how to juggle things to be more productive but not more pressured. That will probably require setting some things aside. I’m praying about all that and just started reading Off the Clock. One area where I especially like to linger is in my time in God’s Word.
I know exactly what you’re saying, Barbara. Those unscheduled moments are often gifts and opportunities from God, yet those are often the very moments that I grumble about (at least on the inside). Until I see what a blessing they can be.
I read this today from Bob Goff:
“Jesus was available to everyone, and I am reminded of the power of engaging strangers as I field dozens of calls from them daily. People don’t follow vision; they follow availability. I don’t send people to voice mail anymore. Try it for a week. Loving people the way Jesus did means living a life filled with constant interruptions. Take the calls. Interrupt your days. Be excessively available, and you’ll be just like Jesus.”
I’ve got a long way to go, but I do love the beauty of this way of living wide open.
Linger over dinner,
linger in the rain.
Watch a child, a raw beginner,
for he will not come again.
Linger with the striving
and to them lend your brave;
linger with the dying,
and those you cannot save.
Linger ‘neath the shady trees
of faith and hope and church,
and linger when the worst disease
leaves a friend within a lurch.
You’ll find your lingering your leaven,
for of such is made God’s Heaven.
Beautiful, Andrew. I appreciate this poem and will keep it in my linger folder as a gift from you.
Wow. Love the poem!
And, Lisa, I’m adding another that I ran across today. It reminded me of you word! 🙂
Now I Become Myself
Now I become myself, it’s taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces.
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
“Hurry, you will be dead before—”
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
…
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!
—From Collected Poems 1930-1993, by May Sarton, © W.W.Norton 1993
You’re doing well to help me linger, Lynn. I love it! I read this poem slowly and more than once. I call that lingering! 🙂 Stand still, stand still…. Thank you, friend.
There are a few things that I linger over, Lisa. My times spent in God’s word, time spent with my best friend over coffee, and times spent with my hubby on our day off together. And the funny thing is, these are the things I enjoy the most. I don’t know if it’s because they are my favorite things or they are things that I relax and take the time to fully enjoy! Never realized that before! Thanks for this important reminder, my friend!
I felt myself slowing down just imagining those three scenarios in my own life, too, Beth. I want to linger a little longer through each of those things this year. Sometimes I find myself rushing through some things so that I’ll have time to linger through others. I’ve got to find the right balance.
I am loving this idea!! There is something rather decadent about the idea of lingering; it implies enjoying, intent, and happiness.
Yes, it does sound rather decadent, Joanne. 🙂 I know it will have some difficult moments, but I think it will also prove to be a rich experience that I’m looking forward to.
Linger is such an excellent choice for a word of the year. Beautifully justified and shared too. Happy New Year to you. 🙂
Thanks, Suger. I’m sure my plans won’t pan out exactly like I envision, but that’s part of the fun too. 🙂 Happy New Year to you as well! Have a great year of blogging.
Thanks so much for stopping by!!! Since I am no longer working and am now retired, I did have to learn to slow down and not be constantly doing things at the speed of light….But on the other hand, I still need to manage my time so I do make to do lists but have finally realized that i do actually have tomorrow to do things if I do not accomplish all I wanted to that day….I added your blog to my blog roll
Hugs,
Debbie
“I do have tomorrow” – that’s a good thing I need to tell myself more often too, Debbie. I tend to want to finish TODAY what I start today, but of course that’s usually impossible, depending on the project. Reducing the number of things I start today, this week, this year, etc., is something I need to work on. 🙂
“[Lingering] implies that you have important things to do and you are giving them the time they deserve.” I love this Lisa. I have been lingering more and more in the last few years. And I am finding I really don’t get that much less done. But I enjoy life more.
That’s a common thread I keep hearing–that you’re still getting things done that you want to, even though you’re lingering. It’s a lesson I need to hear! Thanks, Theresa.
Love your word, Linger…and I agree totally with you and the quote. Sad to sat we don’t learn this early enough and rush through life as if we have to meet every dead line or else….everyone, “or else” is different. I am enjoying this later years of my life because I do linger so much more. Going to use the quote on my facebook today, thanks Lisa.
Thanks, Betty. I appreciate your words of wisdom. I want to learn your lesson sooner rather than later (although I’m already kind of late to the party, ha). But better late than never, right?
Lisa,
As well you know, I love you, I love books, and I love that you love books, books, books!!! Still, a thought occurred to me: Might a way for you to linger this year be to linger long over just a small number of books–to dig deep, absorb their truths, apply intimately, and to digest well? Not too many years ago, I sensed God telling me not to read *any* books. ANY?! Yes, that is what He was showing me (for a number of reasons). So that year, during Lent, I read only His Word, and I had book withdrawals. Yet, as I withdrew to spend more time just with Him and His Word, He taught me powerful truths about Him and my life. Whatever you do read, though, and whatever He shows you about lingering, I hope you will share it!
Happy 2020. Oh, obviously, I am still here. My brother is staying one more day, and then I head to Mother’s tomorrow.
xo
Lynn
Ugh, and now you’re challenging me, Lynn. ha. I’m listening! I do intend to read my “linger” books slowly…but your comment has validity that I need to think more about my other books too. One season I tried reading only one book at a time. It was an interesting challenge for me and a tough one! I did learn some things about myself though, but it wasn’t something that I felt I needed to continue doing.
I’m going to keep your comment handy so I can talk to God about ways I can linger with my reading. Keep your thoughts coming. I appreciate you helping me so much already. Praying for your time with your mom.
Oh that was mean, wasn’t it, given you and I share the same passion! Honestly, I didn’t dream it up, but the thought came to me. Who knows? Only God can show you. But I will say when I took that challenge I got closer to Him in His Word and realize that I, myself, was making an idol of my books, which is why I didn’t want to stop reading them. Ouch! For me, it’s not so much the reading of many books that is the difficulty, but never applying. Double ouch! Glad you liked the Oliver poem! She’s wonderful.
This will be a challenge for you, Lisa! But you are up for it for sure.
Thanks for the encouragement, Susan. I admit it does scare me a little bit to think about eliminating some things from my schedule because I love them all! But that’s why we don’t ever go it alone, right?
I love your word, Lisa, and the wise insight you give us here. And I love how you end it – “But I won’t know if I don’t linger with him a bit to find out.” So true! May this year find us lingering at His feet more and hanging onto every word He speaks to us! Love and blessings to you!
I’m already seeing that I needed to post this to help me stay accountable! 🙂 Yes, may this year find us spending precious time with Jesus, laying all distraction aside. Thank you, Trudy! You bless me.
This sounds like a great, but challenging, word but I agree, the world pushes us to move much too fast and there are huge benefits in trying to slow down a bit. I know I enjoy things more when I don’t feel stressed about everything else I need to do.
It sounds like you have lots of books to read already but I’ve heard from a few people about a book that sounds like it would tie in with your word – The Ruthless Elimination Of Hurry by John Mark Comer. I haven’t read it myself yet (though Id like to) but I’ve heard lots of good things and one person told me it was the best book they’d read last year.
I didn’t linger long on your suggestion, Lesley. ha…I immediately went online after reading your comment to look up this book! NetGalley had a copy for review so I’m having it sent to my Kindle. I’m so excited. I heard a podcast interview on Typology with John Mark Comer but had forgotten about it. But as soon as I saw his name here, it jogged my memory. This book does sound so wonderful for my word. Definitely adding it into the schedule. Thank you!
Lisa, I love all the ways you plan to linger in 2020. I’d like to borrow your word for the year. Mine is Gather, and I’m at a loss as to what I will be gathering. It sounds like something a mother hen might do. I would like to gather some more grandchildren. Maybe that is what it will be. 🙂
Pinned.
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
I love the word Gather, Patsy! I look forward to gathering more grandchildren too. 🙂 My daughter just had our 2nd grandchild this past October and it has been so much fun! That has prompted my desire to Linger; when I’m with my grandkids, I like to tune out everything else and just enjoy being with them. But then when I’m back home, I feel rushed to catch up on everything. In a hurry is not the way I want to live. 🙁
Love “linger”.
I recognise in myself that I need to S L O W down. I have always worked at a pace, even walked that way and I now realise…I am no longer needing to “be anywhere” soon these days.
So, I am taking it more slowly to notice. I will linger longer….
Thanks so much for joining in the 2nd Life This Week in 2020 and next week the optional prompt is 3/51 Remember This 20.1.2020. I do hope to see you link up too. Denyse.
Your comment reminded me of my fast walking pace too…my family calls it “the grocery store walk.” ha. I just don’t like to waste time, especially in the grocery store. 🙂
But yes, going more slowly, paying closer attention, listening more intently are goals I hope to focus on this year.
I’m glad I found you at Life This Week, Denyse. Thanks for hosting.
Lisa, reading this reminded me of what my husband used to tell my daughter when she was hurrying through her homework: “It’s better to be right than fast.” 🙂 And then my dad always used to say something along the lines of, “Nothing good happens when you rush.” I guess the point is that slowing down–or lingering, to borrow your word–is beneficial in many areas of life, through many seasons of life. I will be looking forward to reading how God uses this word in your life this year!
Both of your sayings need to be pinned on my dresser, Lois. 🙂 I used to tell my daughters when they were driving back to college to “Go slow.” I know there is a place for speed in our lives, but it has taken over too many areas and I want to rein it back in if possible.
My word this year is Accomplish. I’ve been reminding myself this year to “get her done”. Perhaps my inability to “get her done” is my refusal to linger. I hear more clearly from God in my stillness, not my business.
Hmmm…that’s so interesting, Calvonia! I love how you connect lingering with getting things done. Wonderful. When we do things in God’s timing, even if it seems “slow” to us, we actually can accomplish more. And we can definitely love better when we slow down. I rarely love well when I’m in a rush. 🙁
I love the idea of lingering. I feel like it’s tough for me to slow down in mindfulness; when I slow down it tends to be to check out. The six types of lingering you list are helping me define the distinction more clearly. While most people seem to say they’re too busy, I think I’m pretty good at relaxing, but not at relaxing in a meaningful and restorative way. I’m definitely going to think about this more. Thanks!
Well, there is a type of lingering that I could just say is my laziness; that’s not the kind I hope to cultivate this year. 🙂 “Relaxing in a restorative way” is a great way to phrase the intentionality I’m looking for. Thanks, Kaitlin!
What a great word! I look forward to reading more as 2020 progresses, because I also fight the addiction to (and idolatry of) efficiency and multitasking.
It’s a toughie, yes? It’s a good thing to be efficient, but not at all costs. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. 🙂
I love the word “linger!” Thanks for sharing a great list of books too. There is so much in this post that I need to take to heart as I lea rn to live a “grace-paced” life. Thanks for sharing this!!
I love that, Cheryl – a “grace-paced” life. That’s beautiful phrasing of what I want!
You’re speaking straight to this hurried mama’s soul, Lisa! This is just what I needed to read today! I’ve really been trying to slow it down for about two years now. I felt like I was making progress, but then we added little Aiden to the family in May, and I found myself hurrying to get things done while he was sleeping/between nursing/while he was content all over again! The Lord is refining me in this area, but I’m all about slowing down! I love this post so much! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!!
It’s hard to find that balance. You are definitely in the thick of it though, Stacey. I definitely slow way down when I visit my grandkids, but then I try to catch up when I’m back home, so I’m doing that same flip-flop. I know one answer for me is to cut out more things I’m doing at home. But it’s hard to decide what to delete. Praying for grace this year as I watch for God’s lead.
Yes, yes, yes, Lisa.
Everything about your choice speaks peace, calmness, grace, quiet.
I love your choice. Perfect.
Thanks, Linda. I’m praying that God will show me the way. I know he doesn’t want me to lead a hurried life but rather a calm one. I do have many calm days, but I want to have a calm demeanor even on the busy days.
I would never really have thought of this word in this way, but I do linger sometimes when I see something beautiful, like a flower or a scenic view and it gives me so much pleasure. I can see how incorporating it into your lifestyle can only bring benefits. Lovely, thoughtful post. thanks for linking up with me this week. I hope to see you again x
Thanks, Anne. Yes, we intuitively linger when we’re struck with wonder. Our hearts and bodies take that pause without having to think about it. I want to live more intentionally this year with eyes wide open to see more things of awe around me.
Isn’t that the exciting thing about words for the year? We don’t know exactly how God will use them, but we know He definitely will. I love to linger. I linger in books I read, I take my time and ponder, but sometimes I have to ignore the little voice that tells me I should be reading many more books. It’s a challenge to linger, but it is oh, so sweet. May you be blessed this year as you linger in God’s presence and timing. I’m excited to see all that you’ll discover.
I appreciate this, Carlie. I have already been questioning God, asking him to make things clearer for me with this word. 🙂 But I trust clarity will come in time as I linger with him, spending time with him without a need to rush.
Definitely a good idea … reframe and now taking our time is a positive. Linger, even the sound of the word is lovely and slow. Thoughtful post. #WOTW
Yes, I was just talking with my husband about this: I want lingering to be an attitude change as much as a behavioral change. It’s a mindset of being present with God in whatever we’re doing. Thanks!
Wow, this could not be more timely for me! I LOVE this post!! My 2020 word is “presence”. I want to 1) see God’s presence in my mundane, everyday moments and praise Him in them, 2) be more present with my husband and baby (decreasing distractions and my need/idol of productivity/efficiency). “Linger” is maybe not synonymous but has a lot of commonalities so this was a great resource. I am adding a few of the books to my TBR to help me towards this goal (24/6, Thinking, Do Nothing, Stay).
Ooh, “presence” is a great choice. I chose “now” a couple years ago to help me stay focused on God in the present moment. It’s something that I still want to stay mindful of. Part of my lingering is to stay focused in God’s presence in the present moment, so yes, we should have a lot in common as we walk out our words this year!
Of the books on my list so far, I would recommend 24/6 (only because I’m trying to unplug a little on Sundays) and The Listening Life the most. Do Nothing and Stay are both good, but not great. I’ve recently started The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. The author is really speaking to me so far. 🙂
I like the word Lingering and it being the opposite of rushing. What a great word for your year.
I’m looking forward to less hurry this year if I can figure what to cut out. 🙂 I have opportunities to do many things that I love, but even some of the good things have to be narrowed down to eliminate that rushed feeling that I want to get rid of.
I love your word of the year. What comes to mind for me is going deeper, putting roots down, savoring and enjoying. All good images. Can’t wait to see how this blesses you this year.
We had some very strong winds at my house last Saturday. I loved watching the limbs blowing and bending on some of the bushes and smaller trees. But the big trees weren’t bothered. That’s what your words are reminding me of. I want to be more like an oak tree and less like a crepe myrtle. 🙂
What a special word for 2020. Love your post and how you will linger in 2020.
Thanks, Bev. I’ve already been tested in my ability to linger. 🙂 But I think it will prove to be a profitable exercise in the long run.
Linger is such a good word to take on board for the year. There’s a lot to be said for slowing down and taking our time over things and being more mindful about them 🙂 #WotW
Thanks, Louise. I hope that lingering is a concept I can apply to many aspects of life this year, and hopefully in years to come if all goes well. 🙂
What a wonderful word for the year, Lisa! I loved your exploration of “Linger”. I found it really encouraging and thought-provoking. My word for the year is growth. I always enjoy choosing a word and a theme for the year to come. I’m featuring your post at the Hearth and Soul Link Party this week. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Growth is a great choice too, April. Like Linger, Growth can be applied to so many different areas of our life. I’ll look forward to hearing how it is working out for you and how you see growth in 2020. Should be exciting!
Thanks for sharing my post at the link party!