Lisa notes

10 Books I Recommend—May 2024

By LisaNotes May 31, 2024 Books I Recommend 25 Comments

“The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.”
– William H. Gass

Here are 9 nonfiction books + 1 novel I recommend from what I finished reading in May 2024.

NONFICTION

1. Cloistered
My Years as a Nun
by Catherine Coldstream

After Catherine Coldstream’s father died when she was 24 years old, she felt unsure which direction to take in her life. So she became a nun. It went well at first. Then things began falling apart. In this memoir she shares both the good and bad parts of her years as a nun . . . and what eventually led to her running away.

[See my full review here of Cloistured: “Silent Escape: A Nun’s Journey from Confinement to Freedom”]

2. Say Good Night to Insomnia
by Dr. Gregg D. Jacobs

Well, I’m sad to report that even after reading this book, I haven’t totally said good night to insomnia. However, when I follow through with Jacobs’ suggestions on any given night, I either sleep more soundly or have less angst about it if I don’t. Because I’m making progress, I’ll continue working on it. His approach is a healthy and rational way to getting better sleep.

3. With the Devil’s Help
A True Story of Poverty, Mental Illness, and Murder
by Neal Wooten

This is a fascinating memoir. Wooten not only is an excellent storyteller, but he also has a story worth telling. He grew up on Sand Mountain in Alabama, with a legacy of abusive men and family secrets. He unfolds the plot masterfully in this book.

4. Our Last Best Act
Planning for the End of Our Lives to Protect the People and Places We Love
by Mallory McDuff

As I was preparing for the death of my friend V, this book stood out to me. It’s written by a professor as she planned her own funeral and burial arrangements as eco-friendly as possible. I learned so much about the funeral industry from her findings.

5. The Exvangelicals
Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church
by Sarah McCammon

After growing up as a believer in an evangelical family, Sarah McCammon’s faith began to unravel as she watched disturbing trends occuring in the Christian world. She writes here about her own experiences as well as about her extensive research among others who have come out of the evangelical movement. Excellent book.

[See my full review here: “The Exvangelicals: If You’re Curious About Why They’re Leaving the Evangelical Church“]

6. Minority Rule
The Right-Wing Attack on the Will of the People―and the Fight to Resist It
by Ari Berman

I read this book in preparation for an online democracy book club (it was a fascinating interview with the author Ari Berman!). Berman takes a fair look at the history of democracy in the United States and where it appears to be headed next. Will we be able to keep a democratic form of government in the years to come? This book helps explain why we may or may not.

7. No Bad Parts
Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
by Richard C. Schwartz

I’m relatively new to learning about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. This book is a great explanation of it. IFS is a way of addressing the various parts of ourselves (as in, part of me wants to do this, yet part of me wants to do that), to bring healing to our whole self.

8. Healing After Loss
Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief
by Martha Whitmore Hickman

This book contains beautiful daily meditations on healing through grief. It’s been around awhile (originally published in 1994) but it holds up as timeless. I found it encouraging as I go through my own grieving process.

9. Hidden Potential
The Science of Achieving Greater Things
by Adam M. Grant

This is one of those amazing books that you really need to read multiple times to really grasp all of it. Grant writes succinctly yet fully about the character skills we each can build to grow into our best human selves. I highly recommend it!

FICTION

10. The Latecomer
by Jean Hanff Korelit

I found this novel so intriguing. It’s about the individual lives of a very unique set of triplets and their wealthy parents, the Oppenheimers. The plot moves along quickly, with enough twists and mysteries to keep you wondering about the “latecomer” foreshadowed early on.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

Jane Eyre
by Charlotte Brontë
Worth Fighting For
Finding Courage and Compassion When Cruelty is Trending
by John Pavlovitz
Write a Must-Read
Craft a Book That Changes Lives―Including Your Own
by A.J. Harper
Life After Doom
Wisdom and Courage for a World Falling Apart
by Brian D. McLaren
The Light Shines in the Darkness
Choosing Hope After a Mass Shooting
by Melinda Rainey Thompson
The Age of Magical Overthinking
Notes on Modern Irrationality
by Amanda Montell
Do/Walk
Navigate earth, mind and body. Step by step.
by Libby Delana
It’s Not All Downhill from Here
by Terry McMillan

What good book have you read lately? Please share in the comments.

sharing at these linkups

Share 4 Somethings—May 2024

By LisaNotes May 27, 2024 Life updates 26 Comments

For the 2024 edition of “Share 4 Somethings,” Jennifer asks us to share each month:

Something loved and/or disliked
Something accomplished
Something improved upon and/or that needs improvement
Something noticed

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Loved

HEARING AND SEEING AUTHORS ON YOUTUBE

Do you like to see what an author you’re reading looks like?

When I’m reading a non-fiction book by an author I don’t know, I sometimes google them on YouTube so I can see what they look like and hear how they speak (they often have interviews posted).

For example, my Tuesday morning book club is about to start this book: DO/WALK/ Navigate earth, mind and body. Step by step. I have never heard of the author Libby DeLana, so I looked her up and watched some of this interview about her book. And discovered she is a fascinating person!

I sometimes only listen to a video for a minute or two, but those few minutes of seeing and hearing the author is enough for me to recognize them more as a fellow human being with a passion to share something instead of only flat words typed on a page. It makes what they write feel a bit more personal and stay with me a little bit longer.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Accomplished

STRAWBERRY FREEZER JAM

I didn’t begin eating strawberries until I was an adult. Now I can’t stop.

Every spring we buy locally-grown fresh strawberries to make several batches of strawberry freezer jam. This year, Jeff, Jenna, and I made 7 batches to keep in our freezers and enjoy all year long. I use this recipe from the Sure-Jell package, which is easy and delicious.

With the strawberries we had left over, we also made strawberry shortcake, strawberry pie, and a strawberry cake, some of my favorite desserts. (I also love Strawberry Pretzel Salad…I didn’t remember to make that this year!)

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something that Needs Improvement

DELETING PHOTOS ON MY PHONE

Uh oh. Looking at my iPhone storage a few weeks ago, I discovered I only had 9 GB of remaining storage. How did that happen? Mainly because I have SO MANY photos and videos on my phone.

I thought I had already deleted quite a few photos this past year and transferred several more to more permanent storage, but there are still many more to go through. It feels like a monumental task.

So I’m taking baby steps. For one year, I’m committing to a daily search of that date’s photos (it’s super easy; type in the date, not year, and only those pics pop up). Here’s my search for May 28.

Usually about 10-20 photos will show up up from all the years past. That quantity is small enough for me to enjoy (time-wise and emotionally!) in less than a minute or two a day.

Baby steps. But I’m already seeing progress.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Noticed

THE NOISY CICADAS

What’s that noise? If you’re in the Southeast and Midwest U.S this month, the answer is likely this: Cicadas.

Lots and lots of cicadas. And they are indeed very loud. They say this is the first time since 1803 that these two broods emerged at the same time, and it won’t happen again until 2037.

It’s not a bad sound though. It’s actually a nice background hum, similar to white noise, so I don’t mind it at all.

What is something you are loving, accomplishing, improving, or noticing this month? Do you have an overload of cicadas where you are?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Find the Hidden Clues: Be a One Word Photo Sleuth
{One Word 2024 May Linkup}

Link all of your ONE WORD blog posts below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

~ * ~ * ~

Monthly Challenge: Take Photos

Do you have a phone? Or a camera? Then you are equipped for this month’s One Word challenge!

Be a One Word photo sleuth.

Look all around you for hints of your word. Find them in objects, people, or places. Snap a photo of these things. Include yourself in at least one of the photos!

The more you look for your word, the more you’ll find it.

Photos with My One Word: Curiosity

Jeff and I vacationed at the beach last week. Here are 3 photos of things that sparked my curiosity while we were there.

1. EXCAVATOR ON THE BEACH

I’ve never seen an excavator on the beach before. After storms had shifted sand around, clogging up the outlet that connects nearby Lake Powell with the Gulf of Mexico, this excavator spent the morning returning the sand back where it belonged so that water could exchange freely again between the ocean waters from the Gulf and the coastal dune waters from Lake Powell.

2. GABBY, THE UNUSUAL ANIMATRONIC

One of our favorite restaurants in Panama City Beach is Angelo’s Steak Pit. Their steaks never disappoint. But what has always been curiously strange to me is Gabby, an animatronic they’ve had for years in the lobby of the restaurant. Gabby used to talk to you as you walked past him. He always startled our daughters when they were young. Now he’s mute, but he’s still a bit creepy even in his silence.

3. A VERY, VERY CLOSE BIRD

What you can’t see in the photo is the wild bird that was practically on our heads as we walked out of dinner at Pompano Joe’s in Pier Park. He was sitting very close on a wire above our heads, screaming his little lungs out nonstop, apparently oblivious to the customers that were walking all around him. We stood there for a few minutes and he never let up.

Share Your Photos and Comments

Stay aware this month. And share. We’d love to see where you find your One Word. If you blog, share a post with the photos you take at our blog linkup here.

Also, tell us about your One Word in the comments.

Next Linkup

This One Word linkup will remain open for 2 weeks for your One Word posts, closing at midnight on Friday, June 7. Link as many posts as you’d like about your One Word. Each link will also be shared in our One Word Facebook group.

Our June linkup will open on Monday, June 24 (and on the 24th of each month for 2024).

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here any time of the year.

May you find your One Word as often as you seek it.

What is your One Word for 2024? Where have you seen it? Leave a comment here.

Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word!

The Exvangelicals: If You’re Curious About Why They’re Leaving the Evangelical Church

By LisaNotes May 21, 2024 Book reviews, Church 15 Comments

Statistics consistently show that more and more people in the U.S. are leaving their churches. Some change religions, some change denominations, and some leave faith behind altogether.

But do you know why?

It may not be why you think.

This is what Sarah McCammon writes about in her new book, The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church.

McCammon was once all-in among the evangelical culture. She grew up with a sincere Christian faith in a deeply evangelical family. But bit by bit, the questions and doubts she had about her own beliefs as well as about the Christian world around her grew too loud to ignore.

She discovered she was not alone. She writes that people leaving conservative religious communities (“exvangelicals” emerged as a common hashtag in 2016) are “finding ample resources, a widening array of spaces for dialogue around deconstruction, and new opportunities for building communities around this shared experience.”

But why are they leaving?

There’s no single, simple answer. McCammon writes:

“For many of the exvangelicals I’ve met, those Christian spaces feel less and less like home, and Jesus seems harder to find in them. And for some, following Jesus, or, at least the truth as they see it, means stepping out of those spaces—out of that ‘parallel universe’—and onto a new and unfamiliar path.”

As she points out in her book, everybody has their own story.

So if you really want to know why someone you know has left the church (or if you are that person yourself), have a conversation about it with them.

Don’t assume you know. Don’t buy into rumors floating around. Don’t read one article on a blog and think now you understand.

It’s often more complicated and nuanced than you’d imagine, including this explanation often used about them: that they leave the church so they can just please themselves and have a good time.

McCammon writes:

“The idea that people leave evangelicalism out of nothing more than a desire to ‘sin’ is frustrating to many of the people I interviewed—and to me.”

The Exvangelicals is full of first-hand stories as well as data from multiple research studies. McCammon, a national political correspondent for NPR, writes with clarity and grace, using her in-depth journalism skills to tell a complex story in an easily digestible way.

Instead of judging those who leave, listen to them talk about it. And if you can’t talk with someone in person about it, at least read books like McCammon’s to hear from the exvangelicals themselves.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

my thanks to NetGalley for
the review copy of this book

How Splashy Is Your Wave of Influence?

By LisaNotes May 17, 2024 Encouragement 19 Comments

Another ocean wave crashes into the surf. Line after line the waves come, one after the other.

For a brief moment in time, each wave receives its glory. The loud boom. The crackling splash. The dizzying chaos of bubbles and foam and water.

Who will make waves today? Whose influence will splash the farthest? Whose noise will capture the most attention?

We watch our numbers. How many followers and likes? Does the bathroom scale weigh more approvingly today than yesterday? Is the bank account cushioned sufficiently for goods now and later?

Are we popular enough? Do we have enough friends? Have we created enough fame or fortune to be remembered after our splash has been assimilated back into the ocean?

Even the flashiest, noisiest, most attention-worthy of us will only have a brief moment to spray. The thin 15 minutes of fame is only good for one, two, or three generations at best, and only a limited number of news cycles at most.

So why all the hustle to rise above the rest? Perhaps we should ride the wave we’re on and celebrate the splashes around us, knowing we’ll all quickly enough be returned to the ocean water just like every other drop. Each valued for what it is, yet more important as part of the whole. The whole of humanity. The whole of belonging. The whole of beauty and life and love for eternity.

Make your splash, my friend. But don’t try to cling to it. The wave won’t linger past its time. Its beauty is in its movement from here to there, then back to the ocean.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

What Can I Do? For Now, This Is My Something

By LisaNotes May 14, 2024 Compassion, My stories 15 Comments

Can I Ask You Something?

We chat outside her front door. It’s a normal Monday afternoon. She smiles and we make small talk until it’s time for me to move on to the next door.

But she asks me to hang back. She wants to ask me something.

I get nervous.

What if her ask is bigger than my give?
What if she needs something I don’t have?
Or if she asks for something I don’t want to give away?

It Turned Physical

We’ve known each other for a few years on a casual basis. Jenna and I stop by once a week to see if she and her husband would like a free meal off our cart. Sometimes we’ll swap a recipe. Or she has a gift she wants to give Jenna’s boy, my grandson.

It’s only been this year that we’ve swapped phone numbers. And she’s shared more of her life’s circumstances.

What now? I ask her what’s going on. She tells me there’s been a disagreement with a neighbor. Last night, it turned physical.

And now, after several years of living in the same apartment with no trouble, she and her husband are being evicted because of the fight with the neighbor.

My emotions go into high alert. I feel . . .

sad that my friend will be leaving,
angry at the neighbor for pushing her to the ground,
and still nervous about what she’s about to ask me next.

Now I Feel…

At last the question comes. She’s only asking if I know a place they can move to. I wish I did. I’d love to provide an answer, a solution. But I don’t have one.

Now I feel…helpless.

We talk a few more minutes. I offer what little encouragement I can. I tell her I believe her side of the story, that I can’t imagine her ever starting a fist fight. I tell her I’ll miss her when they leave.

She says she’ll give me their new address when they find a place. She’ll want updates and photos of my grandson so she can still see him grow up.

And then I walk away, feeling like I’ve done nothing. Sure, I’ll stay aware of housing options I might hear along the way. But that feels so small.

This Is My Something

Jenna and I finish our rounds at the apartment complex. We get back in the car. We haven’t even pulled out of the parking lot when my phone rings. It’s my friend. She says her husband wants to ask me something. I listen.

It’s the same request: do you know of anywhere we can live?

Again, I say I don’t know. I wish I did. I’ll let them know if I do.

And then we drive away.

I did nothing to help. All I did was listen. All I did was let them know I hurt, too. All I did was say I’d keep my ears open.

But maybe, for now, listening to someone’s pain in their own words, being a witness to the ache in their circumstance, is not nothing. It is something.

Just showing up alongside our friends, feeling emotions with them, and giving them our attention does count for something. I know it counts for a lot when someone does it for me.

I still wish I could offer my friend something more, such as an address for a new home to move to. But for now, I’ll just stand beside her once a week in her old home as long as she’s there.

It’s not much.

But for now, this is my something.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives