Lisa notes

Do You Regret What You Did Do, or What You Didn’t Do?
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes September 30, 2022 Encouragement, Grace & Truth Link-Up 10 Comments

Looking back over the length of your life, what do you regret?

Just this past month, what do you regret?

Interestingly, studies show that in the short run, people regret things that they did.

Words spoken in anger.
Making a mistake at work.
Eating the extra cookie.

But in the long run, people regret things they didn’t do.

Not finishing their education.
Not opening a business.
Not asking out that person.

While we live daily in the short run, we create a meaningful life over the long run.

So ask yourself today:

Is there something I’m not doing that I will regret later?

While it’s more comfortable to remain passive than to make a change, it’s our decisions of action that we’re usually most proud of.

And who knows? Maybe we’ll mess those up, too, and they’ll become short-term regrets. Either way, God will be with us to help us out.

But perhaps it’s easier to live with the disappointment of trying and failing, than to live with the long-term regret of never trying at all.

Grace & Truth Featured Post

As Michele turns 60 years old, she’s making changes to immerse herself in the things that matter most, the places where God is showing her to go deep. Read all of Michele’s post here at her blog, then link up your own blog posts below.

“I’m Not Interested in Standing on the Fringes of Life”

Do you have any long-term or short-term regrets? Are they about something you did do or something you didn’t do? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

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Fix Your Attention on the Nearest Wound

By LisaNotes September 28, 2022 Encouragement, Pain 16 Comments

I only discovered this following quote last week. It was written by author and activist adrienne maree brown on October 2, 2017, the day after the 2017 mass shooting in Las Vegas where 60 people were killed and over 400 people were wounded by one man.

But it still resonates with me in these times of hurricanes and wars and more shootings and just plain ol’ rotten days that we all have.

“we must, each of us, fix our attention on the nearest wound, conjure within us the smallest parts of ourselves that are still whole, and be healers. heal with words and prayer and energy, heal with money, clean water, time and action.

there’s enough destruction. there’s enough nothingness swallowing the living world. don’t add to it. there’s enough.”

– adrienne maree brown

[Read adrienne maree brown’s entire blog post here.]

In the midst of bad things, hard things, even evil things, we each still have the ability to look at each other through the eyes of God. And offer compassion.

We can’t heal every wound. Maybe not even any wound.

But we can fix our attention on the “nearest wound” in our current circle of humans. And lend a hand up there.

And just for today, maybe that’s enough.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

7 Books I Recommend—September 2022

By LisaNotes September 26, 2022 Books I Recommend 28 Comments

“I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on, I go into another room and read a good book.”
– Groucho Marx

Well, I don’t do necessarily do that every time (Groucho Marx might not have either), but he does have a point.

Here are books I recommend from what I finished reading in September.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Now What?
How to Move Forward When We’re Divided
by Sarah Stewart Holland, Beth Silvers

Have you lost connection with someone you once were close to due to conflict over politics, religion, social issues, etc.? Sarah and Beth from the podcast Pantsuit Politics don’t offer a step-by-step solution in this new book, but they do offer a general path forward to finding peace again in spite of our seeming divisions. Helpful and encouraging.

“Life is about presence. Connection is not zero-sum. Our presence in one another’s lives has to become more visible than our conflicts.”

“Now what? Keep moving forward. Keep showing up with all of your gifts and your desires and your discernment about how you can contribute more by loving more, even when you disagree with your people about basically everything for always.”

2. Beating Guns
Hope for People Who Are Weary of Violence
by Shane Claiborne, Michael Martin

We’re all disturbed by gun violence. This book shows how gun deaths are both a heart problem and a gun problem. It’s full of statistics that reveal just how extensive our problem has been for many years. But it also points us to a way out, if we’re willing. I highly recommend this book for all of us. You’ll pick up on a Christian perspective in it, but you don’t have to be a Christian to benefit from this book.

“A gun is much more likely to be used in a suicide, a domestic homicide, or an accidental shooting than it is to be used to ward off a criminal.”

“We have been better at protecting guns than protecting people.”

“Every human is created in the image of God. We have love in our DNA. There is something in almost every person that recognizes that killing is wrong.”

3. Why I Left Church to Find Jesus
A Personal Odyssey
by Julie McVey

The title drew me to this Kindle Unlimited book (my free 3-month Amazon account will expire soon). Julie McVey explains her interesting yet painful journey in and out of organized religion in this short book. Many will relate to her story.

“I’d rather stand before God and Him tell me I loved too much and that my love clouded my judgment than Him tell me I didn’t love enough and that my judgment clouded my love.”

4. Overdue
Reckoning with the Public Library
by Amanda Oliver

I frequent my library continually to borrow its many books. Why do you use the library? For many people, it’s more complicated than checking out books. Former librarian Amanda Oliver writes about her years as a librarian in Washington, DC, in a high-poverty neighborhood. She tells an important story about how we should think about modern libraries and how they’re evolving.

5. Get Untamed
The Journal
by Glennon Doyle

This colorful journal is an accompaniment to Glennon Doyle’s bestseller Untamed. But reading the book isn’t a prerequisite. I worked through the journal with a small group of women in a zoom group. The questions provoked lots of thought and conversation among us. Like all journals, you get out of it what you put into it.

FICTION

6. The Downstairs Neighbor
by Helen Cooper

When a teenage girl disappears in London, the neighbors in the apartment all become suspects through their own circumstances. Intriguing and well-told, this novel kept me wondering what would be uncovered next.

7. The Last House on the Street
by Helen Cooper

Highly recommend. This novel flips back and forth between 1965 and 2010 in a town in North Carolina. The search for justice ties both generations together in a mysterious yet important plot of social justice and family security.

READING NOW

Nonviolent Communication
A Language of Life
by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Share Your Stuff. I’ll Go First.
10 Questions to Take Your Friendships to the Next Level
by Laura Tremaine
Beyond the Enneagram
An Invitation to Experience a More Centered Life with God
by Marilyn Vancil
Radical Compassion
Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN
by Tara Brach
100% Right 50% of the Time
How to Prevent Fallacies in Decision Making
Yassour, Yossi
Thing Explainer
Complicated Stuff in Simple Words
by Randall Munroe

What good book are YOU reading this month? Please share in the comments.

More books I recommend

sharing at these linkups

Share Four Somethings—September 2022

By LisaNotes September 23, 2022 Life updates 26 Comments

Near the end of each month, I share four somethings at Heather’s.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Loved

ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS

Well, this is more something my husband Jeff loves. But because I love Jeff (we just celebrated our 30th anniversary!), and I see the enjoyment he gets from chasing down roadside attractions when we’re on trips, I have to love them, too.

On our latest trip through Dallas, Texas, I got photos of Jeff with these four big items found on his Roadside Attractions app.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Gleaned

THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME

My new favorite book on grief is It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine. It’s truly fabulous.

Regardless of what you may be grieving now, big or small, this quote from Megan is applicable:

“No matter how many times pain or grief has entered your life, this time is the first time. This grief is unlike any other. Each new experience gets to unfold—and be tended—in the ways that best suit what hurts.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Braved

NEW BUCKET LIST ITEM

Okay, maybe “bravery” isn’t required for this. More like stamina.

It’s geeky-sounding, I realize. But our new bucket list item is to visit all the current 15 Presidential Library and Museums of the modern era.

Every US President since Herbert Hoover has created a library (but it’s more like a museum) in their home state to display exhibits about their life and career. They include the fascinating gifts they receive from foreign countries, audio and video of important events in history during their era, and multitudes of exhibits.

Several libraries are also the final burial sites of the President and their spouse.

Prior to September, we’d been to three.

Abraham Lincoln in Springfield, Illinois
Jimmy Carter in Atlanta, Georgia
Bill Clinton in Little Rock, Arkansas

But two weeks ago, we visited three more. My sore feet can attest to how interesting they are.

Harry S. Truman in Independence, Missouri
George H. W. Bush in College Station, Texas
George W. Bush in Dallas, Texas

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Achieved

FINISHED INVISALIGN

After wearing braces as a teen, I wish I’d known then to continue wearing my retainer at night.

I’ve spent the past 11 months wearing invisible aligners on my teeth to get them straight again. But I finished with Invisalign this month. The orthodontic treatment was much easier this time (no more goopy molds of your teeth!), but it was still a hassle.

Kids, wear your retainers!

Share your thoughts in the comments.

If I Did This . . . {September One Word Linkup}

By LisaNotes September 22, 2022 One Word Community 14 Comments

Share Your One Word Update

Link your One Word blog post below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

“If I did this . . . ” Challenge

Sometimes our One Word “works” or doesn’t “work” based on other things happening in our lives.

Are any of those circumstances within your control?

As you exercise your word the next 30 days, see how you would fill in these blanks.

I could have more [YOUR ONE WORD] in my life if:

I did this _______________.
I didn’t do this: _______________.

Try journaling or praying to decide which responsibilities belong to you and which ones don’t.

This One Word linkup will remain open through Friday night, September 30.

The next linkup opens on Saturday, October 22.

Every One Word blog post you link is shared in our One Word Facebook group throughout the month.

Leave a comment here about your One Word.

Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word!

Let Go of This to Make Quicker Decisions

By LisaNotes September 20, 2022 Encouragement, Release: One Word 2022 12 Comments

The Pain of Decision-Making

Should I hit “send” on the email? I’m only asking my acquaintance for more information, after all. My email won’t commit me to joining their zoom group.

Yet even this feels like a decision I’m unprepared to make. I’m torn. I don’t know what to do.

And it’s painful.

If you’re ever caught in this conundrum of making a decision, you understand the feeling.

Discomfort of Uncertainty

You know if you decide too quickly, you might regret it. New information may become available to indicate you made a poor decision. Or you might get locked into something you can’t get out of it, preventing you from taking a better opportunity that comes up later.

However, if you decide too slowly, you could drain away precious time needed for preparation. Or you might respond so late that you miss out on the opportunity altogether.

At the very least, delaying your decision keeps you in an uncomfortable state of uncertainty until the decision is made.

More Info, Please

A few days before my acquaintance’s zoom meeting, I finally do send an email asking a few questions.

Typically, gathering more information is a standard tool to help make a decision.

(But even then, you have to decide how much new information is enough. And the new information can sometimes complicate the matter even further.)

I know the deadline is approaching for the zoom meeting. If I don’t make a decision soon, it’ll be too late.

So I decide to send my email.

Release This for Quicker Decisions

And before long, I receive a reply. The information I receive is limited. It tells the meeting time, how to get the zoom link, what’s on the agenda, etc.

But then comes the zinger.

And this becomes the deciding factor:

“Remember, no pressure! Even after the meeting, if you decide it’s not for you, no worries!”

Ah! That does it. I sign up.

As usual, I’d put too much pressure on myself to make the right decision.

While some of our decisions are life-defining, most aren’t. My indecision is too often based on wanting to make the perfect decision.

But rarely is there a perfect decision. There may be a better or worse choice, perhaps more helpful or less helpful, but rarely 100% right or wrong. And even if I do make a poor decision, I can still ask for help to turn it back around.

I’m thankful for that. As I release the pressure of perfectionism, I can make my decisions more quickly instead of too slowly.

I’m glad I’ve now made the decision about the zoom group. At most, it will only cost me two hours of a Saturday morning. Then I can bow out from future meetings if I decide to.

Goodbye, perfectionism.

I gain peace and clarity moving forward.

And I eliminate the discomfort of indecision.

Do you tend to make decisions too quickly or too slowly? What helps you? Share in the comments.

Releasing perfectionism is part of my journey with my one word Release for 2022.

See more posts here on Release: