Lisa notes

9 Books I Recommend—October 2023

By LisaNotes October 31, 2023 Books I Recommend 20 Comments

“A good book, when we return to it, will always have something new to say. It’s not the same book, and we’re not the same reader.”
– Anne Bogel

Here are 8 nonfiction books + 1 novel I recommend from what I finished reading in October.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. I Never Thought of It That Way
How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
by Monica Guzmán

Excellent book on how to have better conversations with those we disagree with.

Guzmán suggests starting with these three things:

Stop sorting each other (getting together in our own little groups)
Stop othering each other (pushing against groups that seem opposed to us)
Stop siloing from each other (sinking so deep into our own groups that we can’t bear to hear anything else).

I’m excited to participate in an online book club with this author in a few weeks. Here’s Monica Guzmán’s TED talk if you’re as interested in this topic as I am: “How Curiosity Will Save Us.”

2. Language Power
100 Things You Need to Make Language Work for You
by Norbert Schmitt

We use language constantly, even when we’re talking only to ourselves in our heads. Language Power is such an intriguing book, touching briefly on every aspect of language (some of which I hadn’t even thought of) and how we can communicate better. It also includes multitudes of weblinks to articles and videos for more information on each topic.

[see my book review here of Language Power]

3. My Body Is Not a Prayer Request
Disability Justice in the Church
by Amy Kenny

I highly recommend this book for those who don’t (yet) have a disability and for those who already do. It opened my eyes to some unconscious biases (not to mention vocabulary) that I didn’t realize I was carrying about disabilities. When we know better, we do better, right? I’m working on both. #AbleismExists This book is my October selection for Lory’s Spiritual Memoir Challenge.

4. American Idolatry
How Christian Nationalism Betrays the Gospel and Threatens the Church
by Andrew L. Whitehead

Here is Whitehead’s premise:

“Christian nationalism—a cultural framework asserting that all civic life in the United States should be organized according to a particular form of conservative Christianity—betrays the example set by Jesus in the Gospels. Christian nationalism leads us to practice various forms of idolatry, revering a god or gods other than Jesus, trusting in them for protection and provision.”

Maybe you agree with Whitehead. Maybe you don’t. But in American Idolatry you’ll likely appreciate how he lays out his premises that Christianity should at least reflect Christ.

[See my book review here of American Idolatry]

5. Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir
by Pidgeon Pagonis

This is another topic we don’t talk about much. When Pidgeon Pagonis was born with both male and female reproductive organs (called intersex, and it happens far more than we realize), doctors made lifelong nonconsensual decisions for Pigdeon then and later that were devastating for Pidgeon. This is their story. These voices deserve our attention, even more so when we know so little about this.

[See my book review here of Nobody Needs to Know]

6. Standing Our Ground
The Triumph of Faith Over Gun Violence: A Mother’s Story
by Lucia Kay McBath

Her 17-year-old baby boy had stopped with his friends at a gas station to get some gum. A man in a car beside their car said their music was too loud. After a brief verbal exchange, the man pulled out a gun, shot 10 bullets into the teens’ car, and fatally wounded Lucy McBath’s son, Jordan Davis. This book is the story of a mother’s heart when her son is taken away too soon. It’s heart-wrenching and powerful. It’s the November choice for the online book club I’m in. (Followup: Lucy McBath later decided to run for a seat in Congress and won! She currently serves in the House of Representatives for Georgia.)

7. The Other Side of Sadness
What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss
by George A. Bonanno

“Sadness comes equipped with a built-in safety mechanism. When we feel sad, we also tend to look sad.”

And that’s a good thing. But ugh, when *I* am the one looking sad, I can feel uncomfortable about it being so obvious. However, our puffy eyes and red noses signal to other people that we are hurting and could use some compassion. This book addresses the complexity of grief from many different angles.

8. Love Every Day
365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive
by Alexandra H. Solomon

These short daily chapters are full of quick-reading but lasting wisdom for relationship-building. I’ve decided it will be the daily devotional I read through more slowly in 2024. Each day’s entry is another invitation to love better, deeper, stronger. A more full book review will come soon.

FICTION

9. Search
by Michelle Huneven

If you’ve ever served on a church committee of any kind, you’ll relate to this novel on several levels. The story here is about a church search committee for a new minister of a long-standing Unitarian Universalist congregation in California. It’s humorous, insightful, and entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

Right Kind of Wrong
The Science of Failing Well
by Amy C. Edmondson
The Last Lecture
by Randy Pausch
Necessary Endings
The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward
by Henry Cloud
I Didn’t Sign Up for This
A Couples Therapist Shares Real-Life Stories of Breaking Patterns and Finding Joy in Relationships, Including Her Own
by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
The History of White People
by Nell Irvin Painter
Find the Helpers
What 9/11 and Parkland Taught Me About Recovery, Purpose, and Hope
by Fred Guttenberg
The Day the World Came to Town
9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland
by Jim DeFede

What good book have you read lately? Please share in the comments.

Share Four Somethings—October 2023
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes October 27, 2023 Grace & Truth Link-Up, Life updates 39 Comments

FINAL LINKUP:

No, this isn’t the last linkup for Grace and Truth! But it’s my final one as a co-host. Continue to linkup each week with Maree at her blog and Tammy at her blog every Friday. I’ll still be linking up, too.

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Near the end of each month at Jennifer’s linkup we share four somethings that we’re loving, reading, learning, and eating.

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What I’m Loving

STAY – TOMORROW NEEDS YOU

I saw a shirt with this saying on it last Sunday at our local Out of the Darkness community walk for suicide prevention: “Stay. Tomorrow needs you.” The shirt (and the event!) really moved me.

So I found a similar long-sleeve shirt online that I’m ordering because I love the message and want to pass it on.

Also at the event, walkers are encouraged to bring photos of their loved ones to place on the memory wall, and write messages of hope.

Here’s our local Moms Demand Action team that came together for the walk.

Everyone is also provided with honor beads to wear according to the personal connections they have losing someone to suicide or struggling with a mental illness.

Which beads might you wear?

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What I’m Reading

21 MYTHS ABOUT NATIVE AMERICANS

Our online book club for the Alabama chapter of Moms Demand Action had a great discussion last Monday on this book, “All the Real Indians Died Off”: And 20 Other Myths About Native Americans by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz and Dina Gilio-Whitaker.

We all learned things that we had been taught wrong about Native Americans. I also was able to share some things I learned from our fellow blogging friend Anita Ojeda. She teaches at a small private school for Native Americans and provided me with good info from her students’ perspective.

. Do any of them surprise you? November is National Native American Heritage Month.

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What I’m Learning

WHAT HAPPENED IN GANDER, NEWFOUNDLAND

I’m learning about what happened in Gander, Newfoundland, on 9/11/2001, as I listen to this audiobook, The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland by Jim DeFede.

When all US airspace shut down on September 11, incoming flights already in progress to the US had to land somewhere else. 7,000 of those surprised passengers unexpectedly landed on the island of Newfoundland in Canada. The book chronicles how the townspeople responded.

The book has been on my list for awhile, but I moved it up because tonight I’m going to see Broadway’s musical “Come from Away” based on the event. I’ve heard it’s a fantastic show.

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What I’m Eating (or Drinking)

APPLE CIDER SLUSHIE

Well, actually *I AM NOT* the one drinking this. But last week when we went to see the pumpkins at Isom’s Orchard, our 2-year-old grandson got a slushie. And LOVED it. I may or may not have liked the slushie had I tried it, but I definitely love my little guy loving it.

What is something you are loving, reading, learning, or eating/drinking this month?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Grace & Truth Featured Post

When circumstances don’t go the way we want, we can still find hope. How? One way is by intentionally developing our integrity.

While I haven’t yet listened to the podcast episode on Integrity mentioned in this post by Deborah Rutherford, I still gained a lot simply by reading the many outtakes she shares here from her interview with Sarah Geringer. I’ve been reading Sarah’s words for years and am always encouraged by her honesty and her integrity.

Read (and/or listen) here.

“Finding Hope in the Hard Days as a Woman of Integrity”

Now link your own blog posts below.

Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

What’s Your Idol, America?

By LisaNotes October 25, 2023 Book reviews, Church 12 Comments

What if . . . your neighborhood homeowner association passed around a flyer that said only adherents of Hinduism can apply to live in your neighborhood?
Or what if . . . the governor of your state declared that as of 2024, the only people welcomed in must be followers of Islam?
Now what if . . . a candidate for the top position of your country declared that the only people allowed in are ones who like the Christian religion?

I hope in each case we see the unfairness of the proposal, regardless of our own personal beliefs.

However, according to survey after survey, there is a strong sector of white evangelical Christians who might agree with the third scenario.

I made up the first two “what if’s.” But the third is taken from the actual statements of a candidate in New Hampshire on October 23. He said (among other things), “If you don’t like our religion…then we don’t want you in our country and you are not getting in…. We don’t want you! Get out of here!”

Those who believe that America should become a Christian theocracy are known as adherents of Christian nationalism.

It’s one thing to desire others to believe a religion that you think is beneficial and true, but it’s another thing to require it of all citizens or to exclude those from civic life who don’t believe as you.

Whether you agree with Christian nationalism or are opposed to it, I highly recommend this new book about Christian nationalism—by a Christian—to help you learn more about it.

American Idolatry: How Christian Nationalism Betrays the Gospel and Threatens the Church is written by a leading scholar on the subject, Andrew Whitehead.

In the book, Whitehead explains everything you want to know (and even things you’d rather not know) about Christian nationalism. He makes the case that the greatest threat to Christianity in the US may be coming from within.

How does Whitehead define Christian nationalism? It is . . .

“a cultural framework asserting that all civic life in the United States should be organized according to a particular form of conservative Christianity.”

If you’re a Bible reader, you’ll remember that Jesus taught his disciples to serve their neighbors, to even love their enemies. He gave the example of standing with the marginalized and calling out those who misused their power. He made no guarantees of a life of ease or privilege; actually, quite the opposite.

But according to Whitehead, Christian nationalism (and specifically white Christian nationalism) promotes the opposite. It pushes social hierarchies, authoritarian social control, an acceptance of violence to maintain order, and strict boundaries around national identity, civic participation, and social belonging that fall along ethno-racial lines.

Three of the more dangerous and powerful idols inside Christian nationalism are power, fear, and violence, things Jesus never promoted nor exemplified.

In American Idolatry, Whitehead shares many examples and cites many studies of the prevalence of Christian nationalism in the US. He also gives a list of identifying markers of Christian nationalism.

The picture of Christian nationalism is grim and discouraging for those who view Christianity as a religion of humility, vulnerability, and empathy.

But Whitehead proposes a solution to Christian nationalism.

“Instead of choosing fear, American Christians can choose to act in opposition to fear.

We confront and oppose fear by choosing to listen to and love racial and ethnic minority groups through seeking justice.

We confront and oppose fear by embracing and building relationships with those who worship differently than we do or who do not worship at all.”

Whitehead lists several ways that Christian organizations can counter the effects of Christianity nationalism, such as:

Sharing portions of their wealth with minority denominations, schools, and congregations
Developing true bonds of relationship across color lines
Advocating for more equality in health, wealth, and educational opportunities at the state and federal levels
Erasing “us” vs. “them” boundaries personally and collectively

Whitehead says that when he looks at white Christian nationalism, he cannot find Christ. His hope is to see American Christianity remade “to look a lot more like Christ than a servant of empire.”

Regardless of your religion or your politics, Whitehead’s final statement of the book perhaps says it best:

“Sometimes, the bravest thing we have is hope.”

Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the
review copy of American Idolatry

Ask Yourself These 5 Questions to Discover Your One Word of the Year for 2024
{One Word 2023 October Linkup}

By LisaNotes October 23, 2023 Human: One Word 2023, One Word Community 34 Comments

Link all of your ONE WORD blog posts below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

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Are you getting ideas for what your 2024 word might be? It’s not too soon to be thinking about it!

Take some time in the next few weeks to begin listening for a new word. Here are some questions to consider.

1. What aspect of your 2023 One Word worked for you?

For my word Human, it’s been easy to categorize into tangible, quarterly goals, alternating each month with a focus on Body, Heart, or Mind.

2. What about your 2023 word was difficult?

Human is such a broad topic that it’s been hard to narrow down. It’s everywhere and touches on everything since it’s the essence of who we are.

3. Would you rather your 2024 word be something similar to or completely different from your 2023 word?

Well, I think all my words—past or future—are ultimately connected to Human. So whatever word is next will also encompass humanity in some way. But I think I’d like something a little more contained for 2024.

4. Do you need something harder/easier/more playful/more serious, etc. for 2024?

I probably could use something more playful, but I will probably choose something serious again. I can’t help myself. (But maybe I can intentionally incorporate playfulness into whatever it is, getting the best of both worlds?)

5. Do you have unfinished business with your 2023 word that could develop into a 2024 word?

Yes, I’ll always have unfinished business with Human as long as I’m here, so by default my 2024 word will inevitably be an offshoot of it.

BONUS:

You might even draw a sketch of your One Words from previous years (if you’ve been doing this awhile), connecting the dots from the past, and see if they lead you to a new word for the future.

Let this be a fun time of listening and exploration!

Here’s the sketch I made of my words so far. . .

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This October linkup for One Word updates will remain open for two weeks, closing at midnight on Monday, November 6. Each link shared here will also be shared with our One Word Facebook group.

Next month’s One Word linkup will open on Wednesday, November 22 (one day earlier due to U.S. Thanksgiving on November 23).

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, .

Did your 2023 One Word work well for you? Are you getting ideas for your 2024 One Word yet? Leave a comment here.

Link Up About Your One Word!

When You Can’t Fix the World, What Can You Do?

By LisaNotes October 20, 2023 Encouragement 9 Comments

“If you’re stuck on a problem, try solving it at a different level.”
– James Clear

I can only take it in small doses. I want to read enough to stay informed.

But if I see too much about the wars around the world, my heart can’t take it. Especially when innocent children are involved.

What I know is that it’s sad and hard and confusing.

And that I can’t fix any of it.

When we get overwhelmed by world problems out of our control, what can we do?

We can scale it down. We can ask ourselves:

What is within my control?
At what level can I do some good?
What’s an action I can take here and now?

We can’t solve everything. But we can work on some things.

Maybe we can’t create a ceasefire in Israel and Gaza.
But can we bring peace to our workplace?
Maybe we can’t unify the divisions in our country over politics.
But can we befriend someone in our neighborhood who votes differently than we do?
Maybe we can’t eliminate an issue in our marriage.
But can we work on our personal response to it?

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the world’s problems. But don’t give up hope. We can do something.

Start with ourselves first. Then move to interpersonal relationships. Then we’ll be influencing our fellow humans around the planet to be a little softer, a little more grace-filled, and a little more loving.

By zooming in closer, we can do this.

What practices can you implement today on your own level? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Dead Flowers Can Be Arranged Too

By LisaNotes October 17, 2023 Human: One Word 2023, My stories 19 Comments

Enter the Unknown

My fingers gently nudge the loose flower petals into various arrangements on the round table. I had no grand design in my mind when I started this creation at 8:15 this morning.

But now, fifteen minutes later, I look down at this arrangement and I see a clear pattern is forming.

How did this get here? I’m totally surprised by what I see on the table.

Earlier this morning at 7:45, I’d closed the hotel door behind me, dressed for the day with my name badge for the conference classes set to begin at 9am. I had in hand my small backpack with a snack and a water bottle, along with a few fears and insecurities about what I was about to do.

The schedule had listed the 8am early bird activity as “Flower Meditation.” It offered “a chance to breathe, to feel good in our bodies, and make gorgeous art together to start the day.”

I couldn’t resist the invitation. Yet I was still anxious about it. I had no idea of the location of the Ontario Room in this huge Hyatt Regency here in Chicago. I didn’t know if fifty other participants would show up or just me. I didn’t know what the instructor would expect from us, or even what “flower meditation” could possibly be.

I only knew that this three-day conference had been intense, as my life had been the past several months, and I could use this nourishing break in the schedule.

When you give consent to enter the unknown (and even when you don’t volunteer for it), you can’t predict what you’ll discover at your arrival. Maybe something good, maybe something difficult. It’s the chance you take.

Playing with Flowers

Our instructor Kia, a small, calm woman (I later find out she’s also an environmental scientist and a yoga instructor), walks around each table in this small room to view our flower arrangements.

Kia had earlier demonstrated to us how to make a flower mandala. She stripped the flower petals off a bouquet and played with the pieces, creating a beautiful design of color and texture.

Now with my own stems of flowers in hands, I’d begun by slightly imitating her design. But as I continued to pull apart the flowers, I let go of any preconceived notions and just played.

I think that was the point.

Kia says she recycles old flowers for this meditative practice. She picks up dying bouquets from events or flower shops, and hands them out in her workshops.

I never thought of doing such a thing.

It pains me to tear apart a flower. Sitting with the mess, with the dying, I am uncomfortable. I glance around at the three other participants doing the same thing.

But we each eventually find our rhythm. Our faces are lighting up. Our flower mandalas are forming beneath our fingertips.

No Understanding Required

I decide I need an opening in my flower mandala. I don’t want it to be a closed circle. It needs an outlet. I spread out the top pieces.

That’s when I see it, this shape I’ve created. The center is no longer a circle at all.

In the middle, I’d unconsciously created a teardrop with the pink rose petals.

I hadn’t known I was mirroring my inner self.

Beyond the teardrop, I keep the circle open at the top, implying room for future movement, not stagnant closure. That it won’t always be this way. That I won’t always be this way.

While I can’t remove the deep wound I carry from a horrific loss I’ve experienced, I can still move forward in productive and meaningful ways. I remain alive to rearrange the pieces.

I can still show up in interesting spaces.
I can still attend to my breath, in and out.
I can still listen to and grow with the people beside me.

I don’t have to understand or predict how Love works. I just trust it to be so.

Everything changed before. Everything will change again. This is life.

One Moment to the Next

Kia looks at the clock. It’s almost 9 a.m. She tells us it is time to leave. She has another idea, a spontaneous activity, for us to try next, outside of this small, plain corner room in this large, gorgeous hotel. (That activity is another story—read about it here: If It’s Only Temporary, Is It Worth It?)

But what about our flower creations? She says we will leave them behind. Walk away.

We look back for one more glance, snapping quick phone photos of our flower mandalas and of each other (how did we become fast friends in less than an hour?), then we do as Kia asks.

We walk away.

Our beautiful artwork remains on the tables, alone, yet ready to surprise anyone who happens to walk by today.

And by evening? Someone will eventually come in and clear the tables. All the dead flower petals will be swept into a trash can, ready to be transformed again into still something else.

Life is impermanent. Yet we humans continue to accept temporary invitations to piece together beauty from ashes, joy from sorrow, life from death—yes, even from dead flowers.

It’s both a mystery and a miracle, this unexplainable urge to create that rises up inside us, knowing that our creations won’t last forever. We birth life anyway.

Leaving the meeting room, I walk forward with my new friends into the spacious hallway of the hotel to head towards the conference center together. Our purpose in this moment is complete. We let it go.

We now move forward to the next.

This post is my monthly update on my One Word 2023, Human. I continue to discover more and more beauty and awe in our delicate yet resilient humanness. You, too?

Share your thoughts in the comments.