Lisa notes

Who’s Needy? Practice Closer Encounters

By LisaNotes August 19, 2019 Community, Discrimination, My stories, Spiritual disciplines 76 Comments

Who is the needy one? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

Take a closer look.

The main impediment to living a life of meaning is being self-absorbed.
– Barbara Brown Taylor

Can You Tell Us Apart?

I ask him if I can help. Does he need anything?

He says no, he is helping someone himself.

Oops.

When you volunteer at Manna House, you don’t dress up. I often can’t tell the “volunteers” from the “needy.” I’m occasionally asked if I need food myself.

I think I know why. I can’t tell us apart because we’re all needy.

Ryan (not his real name) looks like a teenage hippie from the 1960s. Long stringy hair. Tie-dye shirt. Vacant look in his eyes.

Ryan rides in on a bicycle. He parks it in the back of the warehouse because we all know what you leave out front can leave with somebody different. He says little to anyone. He mainly wanders around and does whatever Ms. Fran asks him to do.

He has a hard life. I’m told his mom was in a bad car wreck so Ryan is now the sole caregiver for his disabled mom and whatever siblings are still in the house.

Ryan is needy.

In his case, it’s obvious. So Ms. Fran makes sure he leaves packed down with as much food as he can carry home to meet needs there.

The Less Obviously Needy

Other needy ones aren’t quite as obvious. The man with the clean-cut look and confident stride (clearly “volunteer”) also has needs. You have to talk to him to find that out.

And the lady with the smile on her face and new running shoes on her feet (another sign of “volunteer”) is also needy.

She needs to break free of self-centeredness,
needs to stop believing she’s self-sufficient, and
needs to help other needy.

I know. Because I am that lady.

I am the needy, too.

Get Over Yourself

A unique but valuable spiritual discipline I often need to experience is the practice of encountering others. As Barbara Brown Taylor so bluntly says in her fabulous book, An Altar in the World:

“The assignment is to get over your self.”

Everyone has needs. Some just recognize their neediness more than others do. Maybe they fight it less. Maybe they humble themselves quicker.

But we all are crippled.
We all have weaknesses.
We all have needs.

I’d love to learn more of Ryan’s story one day. He is still guarded; he doesn’t express his needs easily.

Maybe we could teach each other to be more direct about our needs and better accept grace given.

So I’ll be watching closer for him, for an encounter—as one needy person to another.

UPDATE:

I ran into Ryan again last Thursday night at Manna House. I asked him how things were going. “Actually, not too good,” he said.

I asked about his mom. She has since passed. And his brother? He’s trying to keep him cleaned up, but the brother isn’t cooperating.

I was proud of Ryan’s honesty and openness. Maybe we are changing. Being vulnerable with our needs is a sign of maturity for all of us.

Let’s keep practicing open encounters.

* * *

Who have you encountered lately that is needy? How aware are you of your own neediness? Please share your thoughts in the comments about the Practice of Encounters.

If you’d like other unique spiritual practices, here is a year’s worth, inspired by Barbara Brown Taylor’s book, An Altar in the World:

The practice of waking up to God
(Vision)
The practice of paying attention
(Reverence)
The practice of wearing skin
(Incarnation)
The practice of walking on the earth
(Groundedness)
The practice of getting lost
(Wilderness)
The practice of encountering others
(Community)
The practice of living with purpose
(Vocation)
The practice of saying no
(Sabbath)
The practice of carrying water
(Physical labor)
The practice of feeling pain
(Breakthrough)
The practice of being present to God
(Prayer)
The practice of pronouncing blessings
(Benediction)

revised from the archives

Free Printable for Hebrew/Greek Word Studies – It’s Easier Than You Think

By LisaNotes August 15, 2019 Bible, Guest posts 5 Comments

Deeper Meanings

Sometimes a word means more than we realize.

While it’s definitely NOT essential to know the original Biblical languages of Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek to understand God’s grace, it can be helpful to look up words in the original languages when we want to learn more.

It can take less than 5 minutes to enrich your study of God’s truths.

And it’s easier than you think.

We want to help make it as simple as possible. Download our printable worksheet to start your own study of Hebrew and Greek words.

Read it all and get the printable here:

Bible Notebook: Original Language Word Study Sheet

* * *

Do you like studying root words? I’m writing today at Do Not Depart. Will you join me there? We’re doing a series with printables, #BuildABibleNotebook.

You Have a Safety Net. Take the Risk.

By LisaNotes August 12, 2019 Encouragement, Hope, My stories 41 Comments

Is This Safe?

Here was another lighthouse. This one was on the Canadian side of our border. We’d been going into several lighthouses in Maine, all interesting, all unique. Why not one more?

The East Quoddy, or Head Harbour Lightstation, was built in 1828. The light was to guide sailors safely around dangerous rocks and shoals of Campobello Island and the Maine coast.

But I had a problem with this one.

Maybe it’s a Canadian vs. American thing, but where were all the safety features I’d grown accustomed to?

No guard rails in the area.
No sturdy handrails on the staircases.
No clear signage warning of the dangers.

Except this one sign. And it was only warning you of getting trapped at the lighthouse if the tide came in, not about the perilous journey you’d have to take to get to the lighthouse and back.

I wanted to turn back.

Is the Risk Worth It?

But, no, let’s keep going, we decided. There were three metal staircases to get from here to there (well, “staircase” is generous; they felt like rickety, rusty ladders). I climbed the first one.

The next obstacle was a series of slippery rocks. They were covered in seaweed. After surviving them, we saw the next staircase/ladder, which looked even more dangerous than the first.

We started. Then I balked.

Even if, per chance, we did make it across to the lighthouse without plunging to our deaths here in the middle of nowhere, we would still have to repeat the entire journey again to get back to the other side.

Did I really want to put myself through this, all in the name of fun?

Was the risk worth the adventure?

Are Safety Nets a Moral Hazard?

I personally like safety nets.

I want to know that:

If I get sick, there will be medicine for my malady.
If I fall, someone nearby will help me up.
If I fail, I’ll be loved anyway.

Because we all have stumbled. And will stumble again.

But when we know there are safety nets, are we more likely to take unnecessary risks? Do we drive faster if our seat belts are on? Do we eat fattier foods if we’re taking cholesterol medicine?

Sometimes, yes.

This has a name: Moral Hazards.

A moral hazard is taking extra risks when you feel protected from the consequences.

[Listen to this Hidden Brain podcast or read the transcript on Moral Hazards about the opioid crisis. Some studies are showing that the availability of the safety net Lazarus drug (naloxone) that reverse overdoses may unintentionally encourage heavier use of heroin and fentanyl. Some agree it’s a moral hazard; others disagree.]

Moral Hazards and Faith

But what about moral hazards and faith? It’s the apostle Paul’s argument: Do we sin more because we know there is grace to cover it (Romans 6:1)? His answer is an adamant no.

I’d rather use my safety net of grace another way. Instead of sinning more, what if we used our safety net to love more?

When I’m tempted to back out of an encounter from fear of rejection, I can remember my safety net that Christ won’t abandon me.
And take the risk of engagement.
When I’m scared to serve in a new ministry, I can remember that Christ will show up with me.
And take the risk of uncertainty.
When I don’t want to forgive yet one more time, I can remember that my heart is protected in Christ.
And take the risk of vulnerability.

When we remember our safety nets, we can take more risks in the name of love.

We’ll still get hurt, have pains, make mistakes, and eventually die from something. But in Christ, those things are only temporary. Even death.

In Christ, life (and death) are safer than they look.

Even the Risk of No

I stopped midstep on the second ladder. I wanted to cry. I told Jeff I didn’t want to go forward anymore. I wanted to return to firm, dry land and forget this lighthouse. I would look from a distance instead of up close.

He could go on, but I was going back.

I had mentally weighed the odds. The lighthouse wasn’t worth the risk.

I took the risk of saying no.

Because he’s been married to me for over 25 years, Jeff understood. He turned around with me. We made it back to the car.

I hadn’t said yes to the adventure.

But sometimes saying no is an adventure, too. It’s a risk in its own way. It is saying yes to grace.

I trusted that the trip would still be a success—and Jeff wouldn’t resent it—even if I failed to go up this one lighthouse.

Life isn’t about perfection. It’s about love. It’s covered in grace.

And I felt loved by a man who would turn back with me instead of forcing me ahead.

Life may be risky. But love is the ultimate safety net. I’m secure there.

* * *

Do you take more risks when you have insurance? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

What’s on Your Spiritual Shopping List?

By LisaNotes August 8, 2019 Book reviews, Community 9 Comments

What’s on your shopping list? Does it reflect an investment in stuff? Or in people?

I put the salad in an old Cool Whip bowl. The brownies in a plastic baggie. The rice in a cleaned-out Panda Express bowl.

Sometimes we collect things with no thought; other times, for a purpose.

My friend Kathy had had knee surgery a few days earlier. I wanted to take her a home-cooked meal. But I didn’t want to make it harder on her to keep up with a bunch of dishes that needed returning.

So with the exception of a glass casserole dish with the enchiladas I’d baked, I used disposable containers that I’d collected that she could throw away instead of having to wash and return.

And I could have used a disposable casserole dish, too, if I’d been better prepared.

The Things You Buy

Maybe that’s why #14, “Disposable Serving Trays” is on Jay Payleitner’s shopping list. It’s one of 52 things on his list of ways to find freedom from stuff in his newest book, What If God Wrote Your Shopping List.

Payleitner says #14 is for people with the gift of service and who can make at least one decent casserole.

Well, that’s not really me. I don’t have a natural gifting of service. (I can debate with myself for days on whether or not to take a meal before I finally decide to do it.) But I can make at least one decent casserole (it’s usually lasagna).

So Payleitner including #14 on his list convicts me. He goes on to caveat it with this:

“What if making and delivering meals just isn’t your thing? The basic principles still apply.

Invest your time, talent, and treasure in a ministry that might be under the radar. One that meets the real needs of real people.

Sometimes strangers. Raise your hand and be part of a handyman ministry for single moms and seniors. Visit shut-ins and nursing homes. Do community gardens for free vegetable distribution. Or just make sure that your neighbors’ snow gets shoveled or grass get mowed when the need arises.”

Many of our ministries may be under the radar. That’s why Payleitner’s shopping list doesn’t include big, expensive things, but ordinary things.

The things we buy—or don’t buy—should reflect an investment in people, not just in stuff, as tools to show love, including to ourselves.

Such as, #2: Mirror

“God has always seen you as beautiful, but if you have been redeemed, you are covered with the righteousness of Christ because of the cross.

The one ugly thing about you—your sin—has been washed away by his blood. That person in the mirror is a new creation.

Every time you look in the mirror, you would do well to make that your very first thought.”

And #35: Books to Give Away

“For sure, some books you’ll want to keep on your own shelf for future reference or to reread. But most of the time, when you finish a book, the best course of action is to give it to someone who came to mind while you were reading it. No strings attached.”

And #3: Lemonade Stand Lemonade

“This item on God’s shopping list is not something you can plan. But when God gives you the opportunity, don’t miss it. Make it a rule. When driving through a neighborhood and you happen upon a classic lemonade stand set up and manned by young entrepreneurs around middle school age, always stop and buy a glass of lemonade.

Let your generous spirit, hope for the next generation, and thirst guide you. Champion ambitious young people.”

Stuff that Matters Isn’t Stuff

Obviously this book isn’t really a shopping list from God. But the point is clear: We don’t want to waste our time and resources on things that distract and dishonor.

Payleitner says,

“The people who sell stuff never tell you that the stuff that really matters isn’t stuff.”

Kathy was happy with the meal I brought. And she likely was also happy that she wouldn’t have to keep up with the dishes.

But like the rest of us, she was probably most happy that she was loved, regardless of my culinary skills.

It’s the gift of love that we want most to give.

And as Payleitner says about item #14, Disposable Serving Trays, the point is this:

“When you give, make your gift easy to receive.”

May our shopping lists reflect love easily given, love easily received.

* * *

What’s an item God would want on YOUR shopping list? Other things on Payleitner’s list include: Good Night’s Sleep, Mustard, and World Map Shower Curtain. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to Net Galley
for the review copy of this book

5 Links, Books, and Things I Love – August 2019

By LisaNotes August 5, 2019 Life updates, Links I like 16 Comments

Every month I share my list of favorite 5’s.

5 interesting things online
5 articles about words, books, or podcasts
5 pictures of things I love
5 blog posts from the month

What are you enjoying this month?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

5 Things Around the Web

• The Mistake I Made with My Grieving Friend

Here are some ways to help—and not help—a friend with loss. Hint: Don’t top their story with your own. Avoid being a conversational narcissist.

• Things Not to Say at the Start of Your Service

Although good-intentioned, these introductory cliches aren’t always helpful to a congregation’s worship.

• 6 Secrets from the Top Marriage Researcher

“69% of a couple’s ongoing problems never get resolved.” Yikes. That’s a heavy stat. The advice here is worth reading to better deal with unresolved problems we all carry in our relationships.

• 5 Things People with Tidy Homes Don’t Do

If you prefer uncluttered spaces (me! me!), these tips are worth implementing. (Then again, if you have a low tolerance for disorder, you may already be doing these!)

• FB Aging App

Did you make yourself look older on FB with the latest app? This makes me laugh.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

5 Things with Words and Books

• We Don’t Really Own Our Ebooks?

We think we own our ebooks. Some we do; others, no. Some of our digital purchases could just disappear off our readers if so decided one day. This is somewhat disturbing. “We call DRM [digital rights management] media and devices defective by design, or broken from the beginning. There’s self-destruction built into the whole concept.”

• What Is the Aim of Christian Writing?

How do you evaluate if you’re writing for God’s glory? Some questions: Am I writing out of love for the readers or out of ego? Is this truth or ear-tickling? Is it helpful or just clever?

• How to Find Time to Read

Tips like these pop up regularly, but I still read them. And I usually pick up something helpful. I like the categories of books listed here (such as having a Wait Time Book, a Quiet Time Book, etc.).

• The Words People Google

Did you watch the Democratic debates last week? Here are the most googled words after the debates were over. It’s an interesting list.

• 7 Books I Recommend

Here are 7 favorite books I recommend from what I finished reading in July.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

5 Pictures of Things I Love

• Tea Cake Tradition

The granddaughters decorate Mama Jo’s tea cakes as part of the Burgess July 4 tradition every year. This year Jenna had to go solo for most of the decorating. The tradition lives on for another year.

~ * ~

• First Home for a Friend

We had fun celebrating with a young 20-something friend who bought her first home in July (even though she’s not in the picture).

~ * ~

• Our Latest Book Club

We finished Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies in our book club this spring (I highly recommend it). Two weeks ago we began our latest book, The Art of Living: Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now by Thich Nhat Hahn, being read here by my handsome great-nephew. We’re glad to have his input at our monthly meetings.

~ * ~

• All My Girls

While off for the summer, Jenna was able to travel with me to Morgan’s house several times. I love having all my girls together any time I can get it.

~ * ~

• And One More Grandbaby Pic

We have lots of fun together. She’s going to be a country girl for sure.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

5 Favorites from the Blog

• Get to the Point

She can’t say my name. But I know she loves me. Get to the point. Love is the point.

• Don’t Jump to Conclusions; Jump to Grace

Because our outsides looked different and sounded different, I assumed we were from different places. But not so. Look closer.

• Are You Available?

How tight is your schedule? Are you available when God calls?

• 7.5 Reasons to Celebrate Introverts

As an introvert, I’m not one to get the party started. But here are 7.5 reasons why we can celebrate introverts.

• Are You Too Sensitive?

If other people tend to drain you or they think you’re too sensitive, you might be an empath.

* * *

What was a highlight from your July? What do you have planned for August? Please share in the comments.

previous Links and Books

Unexplainable Love in Any Language

By LisaNotes August 2, 2019 My stories 9 Comments

I log on to complete my Spanish lesson in Duolingo. I attempt a lesson every day, even though progress seems painfully slow.

But in another tab, I see a note pop up in Messenger. It is from my friend Sofy. Completely in Spanish.

I like to understand things. I want them to add up. 2 + 2 = 4 and that’s that.

But some things happen I can’t explain.

I still have items around my house from our two mission trips to El Salvador summers ago. Papers, jewelry, trinkets, mementos.

With each item, I see a person. I hadn’t expected the outpouring. These people. I didn’t know they’d carve away a chunk of my heart for keeps in El Salvador.

How could I have known?

Oh, never underestimate the love of people.
Love has ways of binding hearts together we know nothing about.

When I first met Sofy, we could barely communicate. Through words anyway. But no matter. She was one of the unexplainable.

She invited Jenna and I into her home before our evening service to pick up something she’d left behind. We had our Spanish/English dictionary with us to communicate beyond gestures.

When I commented on the lovely artwork that filled her home, she pulled this piece off her shelf. She handed it to me. I admired it and asked how she’d made it. With individual magazine pages.

But when I tried to give it back, she said no. She wanted me to have it. It took her hours to make, I’m certain. Yet she could so freely give it to me, someone barely a step above a stranger?

It mattered not that I understood few Spanish words. The gesture of love I recognized.

I’ve never forgotten Sofy. And thankfully she’s never forgotten me. We occasionally send each other messages on Facebook. On this day we share about each other’s lives. She’s since retired and enjoys her grandchildren. I ask how many. She has three. I tell her about my one granddaughter, and one on the way.

What did I do to deserve her friendship? Nothing.

Love is so good. And so unexplainable.

When I remember back to that breezy Salvadorian night, unexplainable love bound us together. Love that people can have for each other. Love that is fueled beyond words. Unaccountable and mysterious, yet certain and plain.

Unexplainable tokens of love. Extravagant gifts from one human to another, straight to my heart. Blessings that exceed expectations.

What do we do to deserve them? Nothing.

Sometimes you can explain love.
Sometimes you can’t.
And that is fine with me. In any language.

* * *

Have you received love today for reasons you can’t explain? Be grateful for it. Then extend unexplainable love to someone yourself tomorrow.

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives