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Top Books I Recommend of 2019

By LisaNotes December 27, 2019 Books I Recommend 44 Comments

My favorite book recommendations of 2019 are here. I tried to give you only 10 books.

But it couldn’t be done.

Instead, I divided my favorite books into three categories below:

10 Nonfiction
5 Memoir
10 Fiction

Most were published within the past five years.

Did you read any of these? What did you think? What was your favorite book this year? Please share in the comments.

Top 10 Nonfiction Books

1. Atomic Habits
An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
by James Clear

If you want to keep good habits, this is a must-read. This book lives up to all its hype (which is a lot). [My 1-minute video review of Atomic Habits is here.]

2. Never Split the Difference
Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It
by Chris Voss

Author Chris Voss is a former hostage negotiator for the FBI. He uses his experience (such fascinating stories!) to explain nine strategies to make our lives better (not just for negotiations, but for relationships). So good!

3. Off the Clock
Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done
by Laura Vanderkam

This book is a game-changer on how you use time and how you see time. It helps you see mistakes you make with time and how to correct them. [My 1-minute video review of Off the Clock is here.]

Related . . . 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think also by Laura Vanderkam

4. Happy Money
The Science of Smarter Spending
by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton

Another fascinating book, this one suggests how to use your money to be happier in the long run. In a nutshell:

Buy experiences.
Make it a treat.
Buy time.
Pay now, consume later.
Invest in others.

5. Dreyer’s English
An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style
by Benjamin Dreyer

Maybe an odd choice for a top 10 list, but this book about English is that good. Regardless of what you write, this book is a wonderful resource. Plus it’s entertaining.

6. Enlightenment Now
The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress
by Steven Pinker

A data-filled book, this one shows us through facts, charts, and graphs that, overall, the world is getting better, not worse.

7. Women Rowing North
Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing As We Age
by Mary Pipher

I took so many notes from this book, a sure sign of a great book. It gives me much-needed hope about getting older.

8. Everybody Lies
Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are
by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz

So intriguing! This book is full of interesting tidbits of information. It’s been called Freakonomics on steroids. [My 1-minute video review of Everybody Lies is here.]

9. The Myth of a Christian Nation
How the Quest for Political Power Is Destroying the Church
by Gregory A. Boyd

Although published in 2005, this book is a timely wake-up call to the church today. It urges us to rein in our hunger for political power and instead do the things Christ would do. [My 1-minute video review of The Myth of a Christian Nation is here.]

10. How the Bible Actually Works
In Which I Explain How An Ancient, Ambiguous, and Diverse Book Leads Us to Wisdom Rather Than Answers—and Why That’s Great News
by Peter Enns

Here is a different perspective on how to read our Bibles. Sometimes the Bible gets a bad reputation simply because we expect things from it that God might not have intended it to deliver.

Related . . . The Bible Tells Me So: Why Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It by Peter Enn

Top 5 Memoirs

1. Becoming
by Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama restores my hope; politicians and families can be moral, kind, and likable. She is really honest in this book, both about her years before Barack and about her years in the White House.

2. What Is a Girl Worth?
My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth about Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics
by Rachael Denhollander

This is a tragic story about systemic sexual abuse. But thanks to the courage of Rachael Denhollander and others, standing up for justice and doing the right thing wins out.

3. The Moment of Lift
How Empowering Women Changes the World
by Melinda Gates

Melinda Gates (Bill’s wife) is a stellar example of using money and power for good in our world.

4. Born to Run
by Bruce Springsteen

I didn’t expect to enjoy this so much; Bruce Springsteen is an authentic storyteller. (I listened to him read the audio version; excellent!)

5. Maid
Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive
by Stephanie Land

I wish this weren’t a true story because it is a difficult journey for a single mom in America. Even if we aren’t in these shoes ourselves, we know someone who is. A great read.

Top 10 Fiction Books

1. The Nickel Boys
by Colson Whitehead

Loosely basing this story on a real detention center for young boys in Florida, Colson Whitehead writes grippingly from beginning to end about a young African-American boy’s journey through life. [My 1-minute video review of The Nickel Boys is here.]

2. Before We Were Yours
by Lisa Wingate

Revolving around a real-life scandal of a Memphis adoption agency, this novel tells about five siblings living in a shanty boat in Memphis in 1939, and then a present-day family with a yet-to-be discovered past.

3. Where the Crawdads Sing
by Delia Owens

Kya Clark, the “Marsh Girl,” lives basically alone on the North Carolina coast. When a local boy is found dead in 1969, fingers point to her.

4. Washington Black
by Esi Edugyan

Prepare for a lot of hard and tender stops on this journey with Washington Black, an 11-year-old slave on a sugar plantation in Barbados. His life takes a big turn when he meets the master’s brother, Titch, an inventor and abolitionist.

5. The Alice Network
by Kate Quinn

Two stories intertwine in this historical novel about a female spy in France during World War I and an American girl looking for her cousin after World War II. Each story masterfully unfolds just when you need it too.

6. The Great Alone
by Kristin Hannah

When her Vietnam veteran father decides to move the family to Alaska in 1974, teenage Leni isn’t thrilled about it. But there is far more at stake under the surface.

7. I Let You Go
by Clara Mackintosh

The most shocking plot twist I read all year was in this book about five-year-old Jacob who is killed in a hit-and-run accident. And the mystery that follows.

8. The Death of Mrs. Westaway
by Ruth Ware

Hal, a poor woman in England, receives a mysterious letter saying she has inherited money from her recently-deceased grandmother. Hal, knowing she’s the wrong recipient, shows up to get the money anyway.

9. Big Little Lies
by Liane Moriarty

Madeline, Celeste, and Jane are three mothers of kindergarten students at a school in Australia. Their interactions are entertaining and light-hearted much of the time, but serious and mysterious at other times.

10. A Place for Us
by Fatima Farheen Mirza

Centered around a wedding of an Indian couple in America, this is a sweet story of hardships and struggles in a family as they interact with each other and the broader community as Muslims in the United States.

* * *

What’s one of your favorite (or least favorite) books from 2019? Please share in the comments.

I’m looking forward to being a discussion dabbler in the 2020 Book Blog Discussion Challenge here and here. Join in to talk more about books in 2020.

sharing with Modern Mrs. Darcy

Should You Take This Personally?

By LisaNotes December 23, 2019 Grace, My stories 15 Comments

Proof of Children

I’ve already been at it awhile, asking to see ID cards. These moms, dads, and grandparents are waiting in line to get free Christmas gifts to give their kids. We need proof they are indeed the caregivers.

Almost everyone is gracious with our requests. They pull out Medicaid cards for their children or birth certificates or social security cards.

But occasionally someone argues with us. They say they didn’t know the requirements or they don’t have the cards with them or they can’t show us anything until next week.

We allow exceptions with permission; we give grace when we can.

The next young woman in line steps up to me. I get a bad feeling.

Are You Really Sorry?

I notice her stance before I hear her words. She is weaving back and forth, unsteady on her feet.

I ask for her children’s ID. She says she doesn’t have anything. I ask if she can come back Monday with proof. We’re giving away gifts then, too.

But she is furious with me. She says the cards are in storage. She doesn’t have the money to get them out.

I tell her I’m sorry, but we need to see some kind of paperwork.

I’m not ready for her reply.

She explodes: “Don’t tell me you’re sorry! You’re NOT sorry!”

I’m shocked. Instinctively, I say it again, “I really AM sorry….”

But I get no further because she’s screaming at me again. “I don’t want to hear that crap from you that you’re sorry! I know you don’t mean it!!!”

And I almost say it again. Because really I am sorry. I feel bad we can’t help her.

But I pull back. It won’t help to repeat it. She’s not hearing. And likely it would make things even worse.

I say nothing. I watch as she quickly staggers away from the crowd.

Feel Bad for Who?

I am stunned.

The people who had been near her in line tell me she was high. They say they feel bad for her children.

I feel bad for her children, too. Wherever they are. Somewhere safe, I pray. With someone safe.

But I also feel bad for me. I was just trying to help. I didn’t deserve that treatment.

The church lady in me rares up. I’d like to tell the woman that I don’t have to be here at all. I’m not getting paid. It’s freezing cold. I’m sacrificing my time and energy for people like her that I don’t even know.

She was ugly to me. Now I’m being ugly to her, if only in my mind.

Neither of us are right. We both are guilty.

I finally bounce back from my stupor, my anger, my offendedness. I feel less sorry for me. And more badly for her.

Because her attitude wasn’t about me.

I don’t need to take it personally.

Designed for More

Whoever I just saw, this wasn’t her true self.

In her original design, she was called forth to be loved, to have purpose, to live a life of value. Like each of us are.

But along the way, bad things must have happened. Then more bad things. And more.

And now here she is, not living out who she was made to be.

We all make wrong turns in life. Sometimes from our ignorance. Sometimes from our own willfulness. And sometimes because we’re knocked sideways so often that we lose sight of the path altogether.

I repent of my bad attitude. I pray for more compassion. I pray this young woman will find her way again. For herself. For her kids.

And I even pray for the people she randomly insults along the way. . . who, for the record, should not take it personally, even though we sometimes do.

But instead, we should take it prayerfully.

Sometimes I do, but not often enough, and not always as my first instinct.

Take This Personally

The night wears on. The line only continues to grow.

We finally have to call it, to issue rain checks for those who won’t reach the door tonight. They receive numbers to come back Saturday morning as first priorities.

As I start walking to my car, I see a smiling face look at me. It’s another woman who had previously been in line, a small woman with a child almost as tall as her.

She stops me to say thank you. She tells me she appreciates the smile on my face. She wants me to have a Merry Christmas. What a welcome contrast to the first woman.

The church lady in me again rises up. I want this to be about me, about my goodness, about my sacrifice.

But again, it’s not about me.

I can’t take this personally either.

If I didn’t earn the earlier criticism, I can’t take credit for this current praise.

Because neither is about me. Not really. It’s about life, about love, about heartaches and joys. About ups and downs and plenty and lack.

Ultimately, it’s about God.

His mission for justice.
His implanting of love.
His invitation to light up the world through the humility of his Son.

We’re all in the same human family, fathered by the same divine being.

And we all need his mercy equally. Some for addictions. Some for pride. Everybody for something.

The gift of grace. I need all God has to offer. I have no ID card to prove I qualify for it. . . Except this: God calls me his child.

I shouldn’t take everything personally. Except grace.

I can take grace very personally.

* * *

Some things we should take personally. Like this.

And some things we should not. Like this.

How do you decide? Please share in the comments.

Find Hope in the Darkest Day of the Year, Or, Why I Love Winter Solstice

By LisaNotes December 19, 2019 Encouragement, Hope 19 Comments

The Long Darkness

It’s coming soon. Midwinter. The longest hours of darkness all year. The fewest hours of sunlight.

The hours vary from place to place. New York City, for example, will have 9 hours, 15 minutes of sunlight on winter solstice, whereas its summer solstice will give them 15 hours, 5 minutes of sunlight.

The winter solstice happens when the North Pole is tilted furthest away from the sun.

But what happens with us at midwinter?

Are winters of the soul our longest hours of darkness, too?

What happens when we turn away from the light?

Why Winter Solstice Makes Me Happy

I don’t like the long, cold darkness of winter. I prefer hot, sunny days when I can go barefooted and wear t-shirts and shorts. I’m comfortable in ease.

But winter solstice brings me joy in a unique way. Why?

Because I know the next day will bring more light. We’ll have turned a corner. And the day after that? Even more light.

There can only be one darkest day. Other days may still be dark, but they’re not as dark as the darkest.

We can celebrate winter solstice as a time of hope. It signals a time to rest. To release old things. To look ahead to new things.

To turn back to the light.

The Light of Christmas

On the darkest day, use the darkness to pray, to reflect to meditate.

Outer darkness does not imply inner darkness.

At Christmas, we celebrate the light. May the Light inside you burn brightly as we turn to brighter days ahead.

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
– Albert Camus

* * *

Do you like winter? How do you fight the lessening of light? Please share in the comments.

3 Steps to Choose “One Word”

By LisaNotes December 16, 2019 Hope, Now, Spiritual disciplines 73 Comments

UPDATE:

If you’re looking for accountability for your One Word 2022 journey, !

Have you picked one word to focus on in the new year? Now is the time!

Not Another Resolution

A lot of people don’t like New Year resolutions. I get that.

Resolutions are often too hard (or we would have done them already, right?).
Resolutions are often too vague or unrealistic.
And resolutions are easy to forget about and drop altogether.

That’s why I like choosing one word instead. (Well . . . letting one word choose me—that’s often how it works.)

One word is simple.
One word is easy to remember.
And one word is flexible in the directions it can take you.

Only God knows what the year ahead holds for us. So at our invitation, he’ll guide us to a word custom-designed for our year to come.

That’s a good thing.
And a faith-building thing.

For example, when I chose “Breathe” in 2010, I didn’t know it would be the year both my parents would take their last breaths. When I chose “Venture” in 2012, I had no idea I’d be leaving my old religious heritage that year to branch out into a new faith direction. When 2014 brought “Compassion,” it totally wrecked and expanded me at the same time.

And in 2019 when I chose “Hope” as my one word, I didn’t know that a dear friend would die or that I would be on the road much of the year or that God would stretch me in new ways.

Now it’s time to choose for next year.

3 Steps to Choose One Word

Using the acronym LAP, here are 3 steps that help me decide on one word. Maybe they can help you, too, as we all get ready to take another lap around the globe.

1. L—Listen

Pay attention. God is already at work in you, doing new things, preparing you for new things.

Are you hearing repetitive messages on a specific theme? Does a particular song touch you deeply? Have you been drawn to a certain book or author?

God can work through any of these avenues. Listen for his message. Stay present to his wisdom. It’s not something you sweat over, but something you notice and receive. Accept what comes without having to understand it fully. God will reveal more when the time is right.

2. A—Abbreviate

Now is time to narrow your focus. It’s better to give your full attention to one main word or concept than be distracted by a hundred little resolutions. Be most attentive to one thing at a time. This thing. At this time. With this person.

Your one word choice doesn’t have to be profound or complex. Keep it simple and relevant to this season of your life. It’s a step, not the complete journey.

When you welcome whatever comes in this one day—accepting it as your reality and being with it (even if it’s something that needs to change in the next moment)—you stay most in the presence of God. Once you own it now, he’ll guide you what to do with it next.

3. P—Plan

Think of a few concrete things you can DO to help you live out your one word. For 2019 I chose 28 ways to practice “hope” (I wrote it in a series here). You don’t have to be that specific, but do come up with a few ideas of how you can use your word.

But at the same time, also release expectations of where your one word will take you. Let go of a specific outcome you may have in mind. It’s about the process instead.

Plan for the future, but hold those plans loosely.

There’s no way you can predict how God will use your word. Just know this: God will honor your intentions to honor him through it. Trust that his grace will be enough.

Pray about receiving your word from God, then hand it right back to him.

Let him embed it into your life one relationship at a time, one day at a time, one situation at a time.

He knows what he’s doing.

* * *

Have you chosen One Word in the past? Do you have One Word for this year? Please share in the comments.

You can join the OneWord365 community here. Get ideas for a word and connect with others who have chosen the same word as you.

updated from the archives

Can You Be an Angel?

By LisaNotes December 12, 2019 Encouragement, Guest posts 4 Comments

Sigh. I’ve already been complaining this Christmas.

I can’t think of a good gift to buy my mother-in-law.
There are too many activities to go to.
I accidentally bought glitter Christmas cards (what was I thinking?).

It’s easy to be a bearer of bad tidings when people ask: “Are you ready for Christmas?”

Christmas turns into a time of being too busy, striving for too much perfection, and spending too much money.

Where is Jesus?

He is here. But maybe the better questions are:

Where are His messengers? And what messages are they sending about Christmas?

Read the rest here: Be An Angel—Share Good News, Not Gloom

* * *

I’m writing today at Do Not Depart about angels (“messengers”). What message are you delivering this Christmas?

Will you join me there?

9 Reasons to Keep Hope Alive No Matter What – Lessons from 2019

By LisaNotes December 9, 2019 Encouragement, Hope 31 Comments

When Hope Doesn’t Come Naturally

I hate being disappointed.

So it can feel scary to get my hopes up or keep hope alive. For example, I’m afraid who I want to win the 2020 election will lose, and I’ll be crushed. So I lower my expectations. I give up too easily on hope.

But who can live happily without hope?

So this year I determined to practice hope when it doesn’t come naturally. I chose Hope as my One Word for 2019.

And God taught me the following lessons. Because ultimately, God is hope personified. With him, hope is possible.

Hope is here to bless us now, not only in the future.

Hope works. Even for scaredy-cats like me.

9 Reasons to Keep Hope Alive

Here are 9 reasons you can keep hoping, too, even when it doesn’t come naturally.

1. Keep hoping because . . . God can show up in anybody you meet.

Cowboy has a book in him. But will he have time to get it out? My own story is enriched by his. You see a different side of God in each life.

Finish Your Book

2. Keep hoping because . . . you have a safety net.

No guard rails? I was too scared to walk to this lighthouse. Take more risks when there’s a safety net. Christ is your safety net.

Take More Risks – You Have a Safety Net

3. Keep hoping because . . . somebody needs to hear what you know.

Live too far away from your grandchildren? I’m a rookie. But these tips help bridge the distance between our hearts, wherever they are.

When You Can’t Be There in Person

4. Keep hoping because . . . God brings dead things back to life.

When a favorite author quits writing, mourn the silence. But keep listening for God’s voice in new places.

When We Lose Another Voice

5. Keep hoping because . . . you only have to show up.

I don’t feel qualified to teach them. Should I not show up? But God promises this: If you’ll just show up, he’ll do the rest.

When You Don’t Want to Show Up

6. Keep hoping because . . . God is in the books.

Let books stretch you. Expose you to new views. Find the beauty and goodness of God in words.

3 Reasons to Read More Nonfiction Books

7. Keep hoping because . . . differences don’t have to separate us.

I’d never tried Vietnamese food. Then again, I’d never had a Vietnamese friend. God was ready to change that. Welcome the outsider. God weaves himself between us all.

Welcome the Outsider