When We’re Incompatible
I’ve said ugly things about her. I occasionally look at parts of her with disgust. I think of ways she needs to change.
I’m taking her to the beach next week (abiding by all the proper coronavirus precautions, of course!). She’ll put on a swimsuit and out we’ll go, walking together into public spaces.
I’ll try not to be embarrassed by her.
Because she’s done and continues to do so much for me.
I’m talking about my body.
She’s been with me since birth. And even though I feel she fails me at times, she’s been my constant companion, taking me into the world to do things I enjoy and hug people I love and eat food I treasure.
She’s been good to me, even when I talk bad about her.
Here’s how Jen Hatmaker puts it in Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire:
“If I had every second back that I’ve spent thinking about my weight and age, my belly and my crow’s feet, I could have cured cancer with all the extra time.”
Do you struggle with this, too?
I try to do better about it. To accept my shape. My numbers on the scale. My inches on the tape measure.
The ugly self-talk is wasted time. It’s poisonous. It’s disrespectful.
Honor Her Instead
This is a battle I’ll continue fighting to win. Because when I think of all the beautiful ways my body has served me—just as she is, including a few extra quarantine pounds—I am grateful.
Again from Jen:
“She walks and cooks and lifts and hugs and types and drives and cleans and holds babies and rests and laughs and does everything in her power to live another meaningful, connected day on this earth. She sure does love me and my life and family. Maybe it is time to stop hating her and just love her back.”
So when I walk her onto the beach next week (keeping 6-foot distance from others), I want her to revel in the sand between her toes, the sun on her skin, and the waves in her ears.
She deserves it. I honor her for housing me and God. Just as he made her.
Just as she is. Just as I am.
This topic was from Chapter 3, “I Am Strong in My Body” in Jen Hatmaker’s new book, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire. All the chapters are worth reading about who we are, what we need, and how we connect.
How do you keep a healthy body image? Please share in the comments.
Thanks to Net Galley + Nelson Books
for the review copy of this book
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