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A Book a Day – Recommendations of 28 Nonfiction Favorites

By LisaNotes January 26, 2023 A Book a Day: Feb '23, Books I Recommend 22 Comments

Looking for a new nonfiction book to read?

Each day of February 2023 I’m recommending one book a day from favorite nonfiction books I’ve read recently.

Subscribe here to get the recommendations as they’re posted via email.

Day 1: The Anthropocene Reviewed
How would you rate everyday items in your life? The Anthropocene Reviewed is an extraordinary book of short essays on ordinary topics.

Day 2: The Sleep Solution
Try not to make your sleep struggles too big of a deal. This book helps: The Sleep Solution.

Day 3: Do the Work
You think it’s hard to talk about racism? It’s much harder to experience racism. Do the work of anti-racism.

Day 4: Bittersweet
“We’re built to live simultaneously in love and loss, bitter and sweet,” says Susan Cain in her book, Bittersweet.

Day 5: Tomorrow Will Be Different
We often fear what we don’t know or haven’t seen. See Sarah McBride in her book, Tomorrow Will Be Different.

Day 6: Atlas of the Heart
Recognize them, label them, and then your feelings can help you navigate life. Read about it in Brené Brown’s beautiful book, Atlas of the Heart.

Day 7: Curveball
“Our job is to stay awake to what our experiences are telling us about this better God and to make adjustments when necessary.” – Pete Enns, Curveball

Day 8: The Dance of Connection
Here are four pieces of wise relationship advice from Harriet Lerner in The Dance of Connection.

Day 9: Talking to Crazy
All of us become impossible at times. But when you’re the sane one, use these 12 statements to help restore rationality to a difficult conversation.

Day 10: Someday Is Today
Reading books that contain unique, helpful information on managing time is a great use of your time. See tips here from Matthew Dicks’ book, Someday Is Today.

Day 11: The Light We Carry
After reading The Light We Carry, you’ll want Michelle Obama in your group of best friends. Read her new excellent memoir.

Day 12: God Can’t
What would you list as things God can do and God can’t do? Read the perspective of Thomas Jay Oord in his book, God Can’t.

Day 13: How to Keep House While Drowning
If you don’t keep a clean house, are you a bad person? No. Read more in How to Keep House While Drowning.

Day 14: The Lives We Actually Have
If you need words to ask a blessing over your imperfect day or to offer a friend, read Kate Bowler’s newest book, The Lives We Actually Have.

Day 15: No Time Like the Present
How can you free yourself from the tyranny of time? Become interested in the present. So says Jack Kornfield in No Time Like the Present.

Day 16: Bright-Sided
Can you think TOO positively? Yes. Read Bright-Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich.

Day 17: The Book of Joy
Want more joy in your life? You’ll find deep wisdom in The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Day 18: I Take My Coffee Black
We’ve got to get close enough to see each other and hear each other to love each other. Read Tyler Merritt’s, I Take My Coffee Black.

Day 19: Stories I Only Tell My Friends
This celebrity memoir by Rob Lowe is actually quite good. Read about his fascinating life in Stories I Only Tell My Friends.

Day 20: Beating Guns
Are we willing to stop our gun violence problem in America? Find good advice in Beating Guns by Shane Claiborne and Michael Martin.

Day 21: How to Human
When we learn to treat other humans better, we become better humans ourselves. Read Carlos Whittaker’s new book, How to Human.

Day 22: Nonviolent Communication
Saying what we feel instead of what we think is a great start to articulating what we need. Read more about Nonviolent Communication.

Day 23: Platonic
Making and keeping friends may be easier if you know your attachment style. Learn more in Platonic by Dr. Marisa G. Franco.

Day 24: The Fire Next Time
The truth of history needs to be remembered and told in the present, even when it hurts. Read James Baldwin’s classic, The Fire Next Time.

Day 25: Cultish
Who is susceptible to joining a cult? It may not be who you think. The book Cultish explains what makes cults so powerful and alluring.

Day 26: Good Inside
How would our relationships change if we assumed the best instead of the worst in our relationships? Good Inside is more than a book for parents; it’s for all humans.

Day 27: The Office BFFs
Sometimes we just need to laugh with people we love. Lots of laughs in this memoir about The Office from “Pam” and “Angela.”

Day 28: The Love Prescription
Which of these seven pieces of advice would most help your relationship today? From The Love Prescription by John and Julie Gottman.

Favorite series from previous years:

February 2022—Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}
February 2021—How to Uncover Hidden Biases
February 2020—20 Ways to Practice the Enneagram
February 2019—28 Days of Practicing Hope
October 2015—Tools to Memorize a Bible Chapter
October 2014—31 Quotes of Grace {free pdf}

What nonfiction book would you recommend? Share in the comments.

How Well Do You Know Your One Word? {One Word 2023 January Linkup}

Link all of your One Word blog posts below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

Get More Familiar with Your New One Word

In this first month with your new word, ask yourself these questions.

A. WHERE IS MY WORD?

Where have you already seen your word? Where can you put it so you can see it more often?

I am seeing my word HUMAN everywhere—in books I read, in sermons I hear, in shows I watch. I have intentionally inserted it as a daily reminder on my digital calendar.

B. WHAT DOES MY WORD LOOK LIKE?

What does your word look like to you? Take a photo or draw a picture or create a graphic to visualize your word.

Well, we all know what HUMAN looks like. But here’s the graphic I created to catch the blog posts I write this year.

C. WHY THIS WORD?

Why did you choose this word? Write out your answer and/or tell at least one other person. If you haven’t already, print and fill out this simple 2-page worksheet to help clarify your word.

In 2022 I struggled with my humanness. I saw more of my weaknesses, flaws, and vulnerabilities. But instead of fighting against being human, I decided to be more compassionate about it. If humans are indeed made in the image of God, then being human—with all its highs and lows—is a beautiful thing. This is the year I want to explore more fully what it really means to be human.

If you don’t already receive our monthly One Word emails but would like to, sign up here for free.

This January linkup will remain open for two weeks through Monday, February 6. Each link shared here will also be shared with our One Word Facebook group.

Next month’s linkup will be Thursday, February 23 (every linkup in ’23 will be on the 23rd).

I hope your One Word adventure is off to a good start!

If you chose One Word (or a phrase or a scripture, etc.) this year, why?

Leave a comment here about your One Word.

Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word!

5 Words to Keep Her Free
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes January 20, 2023 Discrimination, Grace & Truth Link-Up, My stories 7 Comments

Did I Really Do That?

I’m not sure what came over me. I hadn’t planned to say anything. But I did.

I was waiting in line to take communion at the retreat center last Sunday. This was the final day of the Southern Lights conference we’d been attending on St. Simons Island, Georgia.

A sweet woman I’d met only briefly just the day before was about to pass by me in the opposite direction. She was on the way back to her seat after having already received the bread and wine.

But she paused when she saw me. Quickly and quietly, she reached out her hand. We locked eyes. I put my hand on her shoulder and leaned in.

I whispered five words in her ear. I knew why. But did she understand?

She responded back, “I know, right?”

Then the line moved on.

I didn’t see her again. I may never see her again.

But I won’t forget her.

Don’t Grow Weary

Only minutes earlier, we’d been listening to a message from the powerful Reggie Williams, not the retired NBA basketball player, but the Associate Professor at McCormick Theological Seminary and author of the renowned book, Bonhoeffer’s Black Jesus (I haven’t read it yet, but I want to).

Dr. Williams, or Reggie as he called himself, had been delivering a powerful message about Elijah being weary after his battle on Mount Carmel with the prophets of Baal. He reminded us we, too, can get weary as we long to share God’s genuine love in this world.

Rest when you need to, but don’t grow weary, Reggie told us.

He talked about the oppression still in our country. About how “there’s no hate like Christian love.” About how freedom is when we are “free to love each other.”

And he talked about how so many have tried to take away freedom from Black women in particular, to control their bodies, for so many years.

The Five Words

When he said that, I thought of the new friend I’d briefly met Saturday.

She had stood up in our small group session and told us her story. She’d been sex trafficked for 15 years. She finally broke free from it. But when she went to church, she was met with roadblocks from some white folk in her struggle to crawl to the cross.

But she made it anyway. She went back to school. And now she’s well on her way to securing her PhD.

So after Reggie’s sermon, when this woman of God walked by me in her majestic Black skin, I felt compelled to whisper these words, “Don’t let anybody control you.”

Looking back, I wonder if she wondered why I said that. Maybe she thought I was just a crazy white woman. Maybe I am.

But no matter. I know why I said the words.

I wanted to encourage her to stay strong in the freedom she’s found.

Because I need her to stay free. I need to see the work and wonder and Love she’ll be putting into the world for years to come.

I know we’ll all be the better for it.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Grace & Truth Featured Post

Over 15 years ago, Molly quietly spoke two words to Stephanie after only knowing each other a week.

I got goosebumps reading Stephanie’s story. It prompted me to remember and write down my own incident I just shared above.

Read all of Stephanie’s post here, then add your own links below.

“Hold. Steady.”

Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Did I Say Too Much? When You Get a Vulnerability Hangover

By LisaNotes January 18, 2023 Encouragement, Human: One Word 2023 20 Comments

“Vulnerability asks you to soften your ego so we can see your soul.”
– Sasha Tozzi

To Post or Not to Post?

I wake up at home in my bed in the early hours Monday morning. Jeff is still asleep beside me.

The questions begin popping up in my mind: should I delete Monday’s blog post about our fight before it hits the air?

Am I saying too much in it?
Am I being too vulnerable?
Will it look like our marriage is in trouble when it’s not?

This anxious feeling we may get after taking an emotional risk has been coined a “Vulnerability Hangover” by Dr. Brené Brown. I get one after I’ve divulged something quite personal.

I start worrying I overshared in the blog post. At the least, I don’t want to be misunderstood if I didn’t communicate clearly enough, and at the most, I don’t want to be hurt in a backlash caused from my own words.

Vulnerability Is Courageous

In our culture, vulnerability can be equated with weakness. It can leave us feeling exposed and unprotected.

But in reality, Brené Brown says that,

“Vulnerability is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

It just doesn’t always feel that way in the middle of a vulnerability hangover.

Yet emotional vulnerability is like a magnet; it draws us together. When we share more of ourselves with each other, the closer we become.

I know I feel closer to people when they let their guard down and open up to me. Instead of thinking less of them for mistakes they share or embarrassing moments they relay, I feel honored that they trust me with their stories.

Their vulnerability reminds me they’re human, too.

Yet I sometimes hold myself to a higher standard than other people. That’s silly. I’m just as human as everybody else. Of course I am. I don’t have to be a Superhuman or a Superchristian or a Superwife. I can just be me. I can try my best, but my best doesn’t have to be (and never is) far and above everybody else.

We all have good days. And we all have bad days. Sometimes we’re kind to people we meet; sometimes we’re a bear. Sometimes we can’t get enough of our spouse. Other times we argue.

It’s not just me who gets in “disagreements” with people I love.

We’re all the same.

Exercise Your Vulnerability Muscle

The clock now shines 5 a.m. Monday morning. Instead of pulling out my computer, I stay in bed. I don’t revoke the post I’ve been questioning. I let it roll on into the world.

I ask Jeff later to read the post to make sure he’s okay with it. He is. I tell him again how much I love him. He really is the right man for me.

Granted, we have to learn who we can be vulnerable with and who we can’t. Some people aren’t equipped or desirous enough to appropriately handle our truths. Thankfully I have a safe spouse. He’s earned my vulnerability by proving he can be trusted.

In this year with my One Word: Human, I’m grateful for this human I get to live with. And that he still prefers to live with me above anyone else.

Yet even with him, I can still get a vulnerability hangover if I feel I’ve shared too much of myself.

Dr. Emma Seppala says that living with the aftereffects of vulnerability “requires courage initially, but then it’s like this muscle you build.”

Being vulnerable—i.e., allowing myself to show up as fully human—is a muscle I want to keep exercising. And maybe one day I’ll outgrow it’s hangover.

If that’s humanly possible.

Do you ever get a vulnerability hangover, too? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read more:

6 Notes to Myself Before Our Next Fight

By LisaNotes January 16, 2023 Encouragement, Grace 11 Comments

My thoughts in the car after a garden-variety argument with my spouse on a long ride home:

If somebody says to you, “You hurt my feelings,” (1) believe them.

Don’t argue.
Don’t get defensive.
Don’t tell them they’re wrong.

Just believe them. Because of your previous words or behaviors, they now feel pain.

An appropriate next step might be to (2) say, “I’m sorry. Can you tell me more?”

(3) And then listen and believe what they tell you next.

You don’t have to agree with their interpretation.
You don’t have to confess fault to a motive you didn’t have (unless you did have it).
You don’t have to say everything else you’re thinking.

But can you just believe this is how they’re feeling? That this is what they’re hearing? That, intentionally or not, you have hurt them?

And if you really want to engage love, (4) can you listen closer to offer appropriately fresh words of compassion? (5) Perhaps give an apology for causing pain, asking for nothing in return? (6) Perhaps make a resolve to repair the damage and cause less pain next time?

There’s a difference between agreement and understanding. We don’t have to agree on everything. But can we attempt to better understand each other?

Show mercy. Give grace.

Practice love.

* * *

We all have conflicts with people we love. The way we respond in these clashes is what makes or breaks a day. A relationship. A life.

I’m grateful for the people (especially my spouse) who show me mercy, give me grace, and practice love with me when I need it most.

May I do likewise for them.

This is a life of love. It makes long car rides much more pleasant.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

sharing at these linkups

Does This Story Ever End?

By LisaNotes January 13, 2023 My stories, One Word 2017: Story 55 Comments

When Life Stops

Bang!

I didn’t hear the gun go off that Saturday morning.

But I heard about it from others.

It happened 20 minutes before I arrived to prepare for Outdoor Church. It came from the bridge, a few hundred yards away, they said.

My friend Brenda had to cross the bridge on her way to church. As we sat in the folding chairs underneath the tent together, she told me the body was still there. It was covered with a sheet. She couldn’t see if it was a man or a woman.

Just someone who had run out of hope.

Then Brenda caught me up on her own struggles. She has been knocked down many times in her life. Even now, life events are threatening to bury her.

She said five times in her life she wanted to be like the person on the bridge. She had wanted to give up, too. Yet God hadn’t let her die.

She sounded close to giving up again.

But not yet.

A Plot Change

Our stories don’t go like we expect them to. We envision the plot leading in one direction (usually to a healthy, happy, prosperous place), but life places us in different scenes. Sometimes good ones. Sometimes not so good.

Like the person on the bridge, sometimes stories seem to end too soon. We weren’t finished reading them. The ending is confusing.

Even when we’re not the main character of the story, someone else’s ending can still devastate us. It can make us anxious. It can cause us to be jumpy, wondering what’s next around the corner for us, too.

How do we adjust when a book we’re reading suddenly slams shut?

What to Do with a Short Story

How do we deal with a story when a character suddenly disappears?

Put down the pen.

For starters, we can learn to release our expectations. Stop predicting a sure ending. Live more flexibly. Bend without breaking. When we hold our scripts loosely, we’re less likely to be caught off guard when edits are written in.

Embrace the mystery.

Then we can keep reading to see what’s on the next page. We learn to be inquisitive about the unknown, instead of hiding from it. Some surprises are bad, for sure, but other surprises bring hidden gifts with them. Stay curious.

Trust other authors.

When we let go of plotting every detail of our story, we’re more receptive to help from outside sources. Welcome Love when it arrives from other people. Allow it to impress its beautiful fingerprints on every page.

Flip the book over.

For the unknown person on the bridge, the story still isn’t over. They still live on. We just can’t see yet the new pages being written on the other side.

The Page You’re On

Making peace with the unknown is a lifelong journey. It’s not easy to trust in the hard parts of our stories. We need to be aware and feel the sadness when it comes.

But when we learn to live freely, instead of manipulating the words into what we think they should say, we can fully live the page we’re on. We can stay in the story of the present, not jump ahead.

I still haven’t heard who the mystery person was who died on the bridge that Saturday. I probably won’t. Not every life makes the news. Or has a funeral. Or gets an obituary.

But every life is a story that matters. To somebody here. To somebody already gone. And to God who writes each life into being.

At the end of Outdoor Church, I asked Brenda if she wanted to pray. She said she’d rather pray for the person who died than for herself.

So we thanked God for grace as this person was welcomed fresh into eternal love an hour earlier. We were glad this person now knew deep love. That they could finally enjoy the peace of complete healing.

Brenda prayed thanks that she had survived five times when she had wanted to die. And I prayed thanks that Brenda is still here.

We are each filling in the blank pages now of our 2023 chapters. Our previous chapters are already written, but they are not complete. The stories continue on. The ones we read. And the ones we no longer see.

Our stories never end. Not even death can stop them.

Don’t be afraid to turn the page. Keep reading. This story isn’t over.

* * *

Have you lost anyone unexpectedly lately? What helps you deal with your loss? Please share in the comments.

revised from the archives