When Life Is Out of Control, What Fills in the Gaps?

“So, the task at hand is simple. Slow down. Wonder up. Be more like birds and you’ll be more human.”
– Carlos Whittaker, How to Human

Power of Squirrels

Our electricity is out again. I’m still in bed reading my Kindle on this Saturday morning. So the lack of electricity isn’t a problem for me at the moment.

Yet once I get up, I will need electricity. And breakfast. And a hot shower.

But thanks to our pesky squirrels, none of that may happen.

I’ve only been trying to feed the birds. Just the birds.

But our bird feeder is more accurately a squirrel feeder.

And the squirrels are troublemakers. Not only do they eat all the bird feed in a day, they also dig through the potted plants on the porch, destroying my flowers.

And now, already the third time this year, a squirrel caused our lack of electricity. He crawled on top of the electrical pole in my neighbor’s yard, touched the wrong wire, and POP!

We’re all in the dark.

Are the Birds Hungry?

I pull an orange out of the refrigerator for a quick breakfast, then go for a walk through the neighborhood, spotting the electrical truck. They’re working to restore our power.

I notice on my walk how noisy my neighborhood is. But it’s a good noise. It’s birds. They are plentiful, both in sight and in sound.

While I can’t keep them fed through my own bird feeder, the birds are obviously flourishing here nonetheless.

Just as promised. The memory verse I’m learning this week is something Jesus said.

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”
Matthew 6:26

I’m not fully comfortable with this verse. Yes, the birds around me have easy access to food. And yes, I do believe that humans trump birds.

But are humans always cared for? I have friends living in chronic pain. I see hungry people around town. I can often feel fear even about my own future.

What was Jesus talking about?

While I can’t know for sure, I imagine Jesus telling me that we humans don’t have as much control as we’d like to think. That we need outside help.

And that help is always available.

Stay Connected

None of us can fully handle everything life throws at us. We fall down. Things go wrong, and sometimes stay wrong.

But we’re never alone (even though we sometimes feel alone; there is only one soul per body, after all). When life is out of control, what fills in the gaps?

Companionship with others, grounded in Love, may be our greatest protection to endure the dark.

While we can’t control everything, we do have skills, strength, and wisdom to control some things. And the responsibility to do so.

For the things that aren’t ours to control? We can trust what Jesus said, that there will be provision in the gaps. Not necessarily solutions. Definitely not perfection.

But connection.

Connection often appears as another human being showing up as Love.

For future uncertainties still ahead? We can trust that support will show up for those too, maybe in the form of people we haven’t even met yet. As the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

I return home from my neighborhood stroll to find the electricity is back on. I discover there’s one less squirrel.

But the birds? Oh, the birds. They’re everywhere, flying and singing. They don’t mind that the squirrels have emptied the bird feeder. The birds are already full.

And for the moment, so am I.


Have you met new people this year who’ve fed you on your journey? I’m grateful for both older and new friends who are walking alongside me. Share in the comments.

Read more about Human, my One Word 2023:


Two Questions to Ask about Your Life Clutter
—Grace & Truth Linkup

“It’s hard to remember that this day will never come again. That the time is now and the place is here and that there are no second chances at a single moment.”
– Jeanette Winterson

The Crush of Daily Clutter

It’s Monday morning and I’m cleaning house again. I grab the feather duster from the hall closet and lightly brush the surfaces in each room. When I get to the office, I dust off the same frames that I dust every few weeks.

But this time, I stop. I look. The photos in the frames are of times I enjoyed in my past. They shaped who I am now. But I’m not that person any more. And those experiences aren’t ones I would choose again.

I’m interrupted by a text notification. It’s a group message from an organization I volunteer with. They’re looking for someone to lead on an upcoming project for the summer.

It’s not something I want in my future.

I feel clutter crushing in.

Two Questions to Ask Yourself

We’re daily faced with clutter from our past and opportunities to clutter our future. It’s stifling.

THE PAST: It’s difficult to let go of things we already own. But a question I’ve read to ask ourselves is this one.

1. If I didn’t own this already or already committed to it, would I buy it or agree to it now?

When I look at the photo frames, I know the answer. I would not buy these if I saw them in a shop. So why am I keeping them now? I pull out the photos and put the frames in the donate pile.

THE FUTURE: We don’t want to turn down opportunities that we might want for later. But we can’t say yes to everything. So here’s one question to ask about the future.

2. If this opportunity were tomorrow instead of a month or a year from now, would I take it?

I think about the summer volunteer opportunity. I know I would not want to tackle it tomorrow. It’s easier to say no now than to regret saying yes the rest of the summer.

Make the Most of Today

Clearing the clutter of life isn’t usually as easy as getting rid of old photo frames or turning down uninteresting work. It’s often hard when the decisions are about things that really matter. Deciding what to hold on to and what to release can be excruciating.

But realizing we have a only finite amount of time in this world with only a finite number of people, we can gain a clearer perspective to make healthier choices.

Clinging too tightly to the past or dreaming too wildly about the future doesn’t serve us in the present. And the present is where we live. This. Here. Now.

Let’s make the most of today.


Does your life feel cluttered right now or does it feel spacious? Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

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Grace & Truth Featured Post

Navigating a foggy season can be tough and exhausting. But Lois gives us encouragement to keep taking one step at a time, doing the next right thing.

Read all of Lois’s post here at her blog, then link up your own blog posts below.

“What to Remember When the Future Is Foggy”


Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Fill in the Blank: “Life Is More Than ___ to Me”

The Quest for Perfect Shoes

I’m wandering the aisles in the shoe department. I’m looking for size 7 tennis shoes—no laces—for my friend V. But I’m not sure what style she prefers.

  • Maybe these blue ones? No, they look too hard to put on and pull off.
  • These purple ones? No, she doesn’t like the color purple, so she probably wouldn’t want purple shoes.
  • Maybe the white ones? No, they’d show dirt too easily and she wouldn’t know how to clean them.

I want to get this right.

I finally settle on a pair of navy slip-ons, with elastic instead of shoe strings. But will she like them? I just don’t know.

Details, Details, Details

No wonder I don’t like to shop. While I’m grateful for options, sometimes we have too many choices. I don’t enjoy shopping for myself, and I’m even more uncomfortable shopping for someone else.

I can get too bogged down in details. In my desire for the optimal choice, I can freeze up. The uncertainty of “what if?” takes over.

So today I begin re-memorizing Matthew 6:25-34. They are the words of Jesus about trading lesser details for more important matters.

Looking closely at Jesus’s words, I zone in on this question he asks in verse 25: “Is not life more than ___?” He fills in the blank here with food and clothing.

But how am I filling in the blank?

  • Isn’t life more than . . . worrying about where I’ll park?
  • Isn’t life more than . . . overthinking my digital photos?
  • Isn’t life more than . . . replaying a previous conversation?
  • Isn’t life more than . . . obsessing about a single shoe purchase?

I could go on and on.

The Answer Is?

For each question, I get the same answer. Yes.

Yes, life is more than worries and overthinking and replays and obsessions.

In this year of Human as my One Word, I’ve set an intention for myself that I read each morning:

“Be present to love the people still in my life.”

But I’m such a time-traveler. Some days it’s quite difficult to stay present. My mind flits between past memories to future plans, back and forth, morning and night.

Lingering in this day, in this moment, can be challenging.

But loving the people here—in this very second—is what gives me life.

Her Other Shoes

V walks outside to meet me as I pull up to her apartment complex. As I step out of my car, I can tell she’s happy to see me. And I’m happy to deliver her new shoes to her.

While we’re still in the parking lot, before I can even pull her new shoes out of the bag to hand them over, V bubbles over with her own news.

V says, “Look at me! I have on new shoes!”

What? I think back to the laborious afternoon I spent choosing the shoes she asked me to buy, the shoes that are still waiting in my car for her.

Then I look down at the shoes she’s so thrilled about, the shoes she’s been walking around town in.

They are fuzzy blue houseshoes!

She says they are so comfortable. She’s been wearing them everywhere. Aren’t they pretty?

I feel something shift inside me.

I respond, “Why, yes, V, they are lovely!”

And I can’t help but smile. At her, with her childlike enthusiasm to wear fuzzy blue houseshoes wherever her feet can take her. And at me, for having to relearn again and again the same lesson of letting go of details.

I hand V the new tennis shoes I bought and say, “You can wear these shoes, too, whenever you want to.” She says she loves them and thank you.

In the future, I’m sure I’ll still care more about trivial details than is necessary. But at least today I’ve gotten one more nudge in the right direction to release them.

While Jesus didn’t say that food and clothing aren’t important, he just said they’re not the most important.

The most important thing in life—which always has been and always will be—is simply Love.

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Here’s this week’s memory verse for those participating in our Summer Memory Challenge:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
– Matthew 6:25

What minor things fill in your blanks, “Isn’t life more than ___?” What are you trying to let go of? Share your thoughts in the comments.


Last Chance to Sign Up for the Matthew 6:25-34 Memory Challenge
—Grace & Truth Linkup

Matthew 6 is the middle chapter of the three chapters commonly known as the Sermon on the Mount. Here Jesus talked about tending to our actions, thoughts, and hearts in how we love God and love others.

Matthew 6:26

This summer a group of us will be memorizing 10 of these verses over 10 weeks.

Beginning June 5, we’ll focus on one verse a week from Matthew 6:25-34.

Here are the verses we’ll be learning.

Matthew 6:25-34

If you’d like to join us in committing these words to your own heart and mind, sign up today to get resources for this easy memory challenge.

Sign up summer Bible memory challenge

We’d love to have you join us!


Any questions? Share in the comments.

Download your button here.

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Grace & Truth Featured Post

Donna entered May with a heavy heart of grief. In this insightful post she shares about the beauty of dancing with a limp, bringing hope to our own broken hearts.

“From a place of love, dancing with a limp becomes the conduit through which I not only love others well, but find Hope within my own brokenness, restoring Joy in the midst of suffering.”

Read all of Donna’s post here at her blog, then link up your own blog posts below.

“Dancing with a Limp”


Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

On the Blog—May 2023

Here are brief summaries and links to posts on the blog, Lisa notes, in May 2023.

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See previous months’ archives here


8 Books I Recommend—May 2023

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.”
– James Baldwin

Here are 6 nonfiction books + 2 novels I recommend from what I read in May.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1.  Spare
by Prince Harry

Spare by Prince Harry

Although at first glance I have little in common with the British royal family, this memoir by Prince Harry brings us closer. His vulnerability reminds me that we are all connected on a basic human level, even though our struggles may look different (I have never been or ever will be chased by paparazzi night and day). Prince Harry’s stories are fascinating, albeit often sad, about life as a prince and as a human being. I realize his is only one perspective and there are several sides to any story, but I did enjoy reading his side.

2. Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff
Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward With Your Life
by Matt Paxton

Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff

The title of this book caught my eye at the library. Then when flipping through and seeing this chapter, “Sort Through Pictures and Documents,” I checked it out. I’m currently on a summer-long project of getting my photos under control (again). I won’t take all of Paxton’s advice (he suggests discarding 90% of your photos, yikes!), but I will take some of his advice, such as digitizing the photos I care about, even if it’s just taking a photo of a photo with my phone. This book contains lots of great advice about decluttering in general (not just photos) so I highly recommend it. 

3. The Science of Stuck
Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
by Britt Frank

The Science of Stuck

We all get stuck sometimes in life, whether it be in an unhealthy relationship or a boring job or just a bad habit. This book is a fascinating (and very organized!) look at the science behind what keeps us stuck, and what works best to break out of it. One takeaway for me is to identify the perks of staying stuck, one of the first steps toward change.

4. Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image
Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are
by Hillary L. McBride

Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image

I haven’t met many women (or men either) who aren’t self-conscious about some aspect of their appearance, whether it’s their hair or their stomach or their weight, etc. This book helps us realize we are so much more than the sum of our body parts. While it’s centered around body image conversations in mother/daughter relationships, it far exceeds those parameters.

“What if every time you or another woman in your life said ‘I don’t look like the women on TV, or in the magazines’ you truly thought, ‘Good’?”

5. Poverty, by America
by Matthew Desmond

Poverty, by America

Data shows that despite the United States being one of the richest countries on earth, we also have more poverty than equally democratic countries. Sociologist Matthew Desmond dives into why. In this book he both lays out the problems but also provides some imaginative solutions. There are no easy fixes. But we can do much better to alleviate poverty versus perpetuate it.

[Read my book review here of Poverty, by America]

6. Why We’re Polarized
by Ezra Klein

Why We're Polarized

Ugh. We know we’re polarized in America. But we do we know why? Ezra Klein will change the way you interpret politics. I didn’t feel more hopeful after reading this book, but I did feel more informed. Hopefully that counts as a move in the right direction. This is an excellent book with fascinating content, whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, or could really care less.

FICTION

7. Fresh Water for Flowers
by Valérie Perrin

Fresh Water for Flowers

This novel chronicles the life of Violette Toussaint, a cemetery caretaker in France. Written with a flair for beautiful prose and insightful philosophy, this book takes you on a journey through highs and lows of betrayal and loss. You’ll find yourself pulling for Violette to find lasting happiness somewhere.

8. Lessons in Chemistry
by Bonnie Garmus

Lessons in Chemistry

This novel, while more lighthearted in tone than Fresh Water for Flowers, is just as relevant in addressing inequality, set in the early 1960s in the United States. Elizabeth Zott is a chemist-turned-TV cooking host. Both funny and serious, the plot provides interesting twists for Elizabeth and her genius young daughter. The 400 pages flew by. 

WHAT I’M READING NOW

  • Write for Life
    Creative Tools for Every Writer
    by Julia Cameron
  • The Love of My Life
    by Rosie Walsh
  • The Road Less Traveled
    by M. Scott Peck
  • The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence
    A Journey to Personal and Professional Success
    by Scott Allender
  • The Wrong End of the Table
    A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
    by Ayser Salman
  • The Mindful Body
    Thinking Our way to Chronic Health
    by Ellen J. Langer

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What’s a good book you’ve read lately? Please share in the comments.

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