Lisa notes

Share Four Somethings—December 2023

By LisaNotes December 29, 2023 Life updates 24 Comments

As we inch ever closer to turning the calendar to a new year, I’m sharing the final “Share Four Somethings” of 2023 at Jennifer’s linkup of something I’m loving, reading, learning, and eating.

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What I’m Loving

STORYWORTH AND A NEW PENCIL

I received wonderful gifts this Christmas. Here are two that stand out.

One is from our daughter Jenna. She gave my husband Jeff and I each a subscription to Storyworth. It’s a site that sends you a weekly prompt about your life. We’ll send in our responses digitally all year, then at the end of 2024 they’ll be printed into a hardbound book. It’s a beautiful and easy way to gather your life’s stories.

The second gift is from my son-in-law, Trey. Because he knows me, he knew I’d love this new mechanical pencil that he also has. It’s a Pentel Orenz AT model that automatically feeds in new lead. You never have to click. It gives you the perfect amount of lead as you write, so the lead is never too short and it never breaks off from being too long. I’ve loved using it already.

Thoughtful gifts from thoughtful children.

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What I’m Reading

FEEL-GOOD PRODUCTIVITY

I can’t help myself; I love reading productivity books. This one by Ali Abdaal, Feel-Good Productivity: How to Do More of What Matters to You, was published last Tuesday. I have a review copy.

Abdaal’s premise is that the root of productivity isn’t self-discipline; it’s joy. He says if you find ways to make your work feel good, productivity almost takes care of itself.

In some ways we intuitively know this. We are often productive with the things we enjoy doing, and stall on the tasks we don’t enjoy. But Abdaal has loaded this book with six small challenges in each chapter to help us carry it out.

So far the book is easy to follow both in the reading and in the practicing. I hope to implement it more in 2024.

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What I’m Learning

3 THINGS TODAY

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with my to-do lists the past several weeks of 2023, so I’ve returned to a tried-and-true productivity hack that has worked for me in the past: Listing my top 3 things to do each day.

While I still schedule more than 3 things for the day, I list the 3 most important ones at the top of my digital calendar as “3 Things Today,” and try to accomplish those first, when possible. If I complete those tasks, then anything else I accomplish is just bonus.

Sometimes they’re large things; sometimes they’re as mundane as “Finish laundry.” Either way, my mind rests easier knowing I’m at least making progress on the most important things of that day.

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What I’m Eating

MISS MIRIAM’S SURPRISE

Do you have foods you only make seasonally? This brownie-like treat is one that my family makes only at Christmas. I don’t know why it’s called Miss Miriam’s Surprise (I guess a Miss Miriam originally created it?), but it is decadently delicious. I made it this year for one of our Christmas parties, and had some left over that I put in the freezer. I’ll thaw them out a few at a time to enjoy in 2024.

Here’s the recipe we use for this chocolately, caramel treat.

MISS MIRIAM’S SURPRISE

One 11-ounce bag of Kraft caramel candy squares
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1 box German chocolate cake mix
3/4 cup butter
6 ounces chocolate chips
1 cup nuts (optional)

Mix cake mix with 1/3 cup evaporated milk and 3/4 cup butter. Stir in nuts (optional). Refrigerate half of dough.

Press unrefrigerated half of dough in 13×9 greased pan. Bake at 350° for 6 minutes. Remove from oven.

Immediately sprinkle chocolate chips on cooked dough.

Remove plastic wrap from caramels. Melt caramels with 1/3 cup evaporated milk. Pour on top of cooked dough.

Drop refrigerated cake mixture by spoonfuls over the caramel and cooked dough.

Bake 15-18 minutes. Cool 30 minutes before cutting.

Enjoy!

What is something you are loving, reading, learning, or eating here at the end of 2023?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

My Top 10 Favorite Books of 2023

By LisaNotes December 27, 2023 Books I Recommend 30 Comments

Here are my favorite 10 books that I read this year per category (in no particular order).

1. Category: MEMOIR

Uncultured: A Memoir
by Daniella Mestyanek Young

Young writes of her experience in the religious cult “The Children of God.” Her stories are harrowing of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. But at fifteen years old, she walked away. Her story continues through her years in the Army. I hate that her stories are true, but we need to hear them and bear witness.

Other favorite memoirs: Spare by Prince Harry and All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore.

2. Category: STRESS MANAGEMENT

The Science of Stuck
Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
by Britt Frank

We all get stuck sometimes in life, whether it be in an unhealthy relationship or a boring job or just a bad habit. This book is a fascinating (and very organized!) look at the science behind what keeps us stuck, and what works best to break out of it. One takeaway for me is to identify the perks of staying stuck, one of the first steps toward change.

Another favorite in the Stress Management category: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris.

3. Category: POLITICS

Why We’re Polarized
by Ezra Klein

We know the things we’re polarized about in America. But we do we know why? Ezra Klein will change the way you interpret politics. I didn’t feel more hopeful after reading this book, but I did feel more informed. Hopefully that counts as a move in the right direction. This is an excellent book with fascinating content, whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, or could really care less.

4. Category: GRIEF

Soulbroken
A Guidebook for Your Journey Through Ambiguous Grief
by Stephanie Sarazin

Not all grief comes from someone dying. Ambiguous grief results from divorce, broken friendships, estrangements, infertility, dementia, etc. Yet our culture typically responds inappropriately or not at all to these losses. Sarazin Stephanie writes, “Grief is not a condition to cure; rather, it is a human condition to be honored.” I especially benefited by Stephanie’s differentiation between external hope and internal hope; one is harmful and one is helpful.

5. Category: DAILY READINGS

The Book of Awakening
Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have
by Mark Nepo

Every morning this year I would read the day’s short essay from Mark Nepo. It helped me get through the day a little better, a little brighter, a little more authentically. I will let this book lie fallow for 2024, but I will return to it again in some future year for my daily readings because it is worth repeating.

6. Category: COMMUNICATION/CONFLICT RESOLUTION

I Never Thought of It That Way
How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
by Monica Guzmán

This is an excellent book on how to have better conversations with those we disagree with. Guzmán suggests starting with these three things:

Stop sorting each other (getting together in our own little groups)
Stop othering each other (pushing against groups that seem opposed to us)
Stop siloing from each other (sinking so deep into our own groups that we can’t bear to hear anything else).

Another favorite in the communication/conflict resolution category: The Art of Nonviolent Communication: Turning Conflict into Connection by Micah Salaberrios.

7. Category: RELATIONSHIPS

I Didn’t Sign Up for This
A Couples Therapist Shares Real-Life Stories of Breaking Patterns and Finding Joy in Relationships, Including Her Own
by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish

This book by couples therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgelish enlightens us not only on how she does therapy with her clients, but also how she needs to apply the principles in her own marriage. Dr. Tracy brilliantly guides us back and forth between the stories of four couples in her therapy practice and her own story of problems with her husband. If you’d like a true behind-the-scenes look at therapy—plus get advice for your own partnership—I highly recommend this book.

Another favorite relationship book: Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness by Fred Luskin.

8. Category: INEQUITY

Poverty, by America
by Matthew Desmond

Data shows that despite the United States being one of the richest countries on earth, we also have more poverty than equally democratic countries. Sociologist Matthew Desmond dives into why. In this book he both lays out the problems but also provides some imaginative solutions. There are no easy fixes. But we can do much better to alleviate poverty versus perpetuate it.

Another favorite book on inequity: My Body Is Not a Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church by Amy Kenny.

9. Category: SOCIAL ISSUES

American Idolatry
How Christian Nationalism Betrays the Gospel and Threatens the Church
by Andrew L. Whitehead

In this book, Whitehead explains everything you want to know (and even things you’d rather not know) about Christian nationalism. He makes the case that the greatest threat to Christianity in the US may be coming from within. Maybe you agree with Whitehead. Maybe you don’t. But in American Idolatry you’ll likely appreciate how he lays out his premises that Christianity should at least reflect Christ.

Another favorite book on social issues: Saving Us: A Climate Scientist’s Case for Hope and Healing in a Divided World by Katharine Hayhoe.

10. Category: FICTION

Big Lies in a Small Town
by Diane Chamberlain

This is an excellent murder mystery novel about a 22-year-old artist in 2018 serving a prison sentence until she’s freed to restore an old post office mural in a North Carolina town. The story flips back and forth between 2018 and 1940 when the mural was originally painted.

More favorite fiction: The Measure by Nikki Erlick, Anxious People by Fredrik Backman, Call Your Daughter Home by Deb Spera, and Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult.

What’s a book that made your Top 10 list for 2023? Share in the comments.

Rate Your One Word 2023 on a Scale of 1-5
{One Word 2023 December Linkup}

Link all of your ONE WORD blog posts below. Share an update about your One Word in the comments.

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On a scale of 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest), what star rating did your One Word of the Year earn?

Here are some questions to help you decide.

RATING QUESTIONS

Did my word stay relevant in my life? Why or why not?
How often did I notice my word in other places this year? Where?
Did my word meet the expectations I chose for it? Why or why not?
Did my word surprise me in any ways? How?
Did I grow in any area this year thanks to my word? In what way?
Am I glad I chose this word? Why or why not?
Would I recommend this word to another person? Why or why not?
How many stars do I give this word?

Here are my answers for my One Word 2023 HUMAN.

As you might expect, Human remained very relevant in my everyday life. It’s what we all are.
I saw Human everywhere, all the time. I didn’t intentionally check, but I’d guess it popped up in some conversation, media, or thought every single day.
Yes, Human met my expectations. My original plan included a monthly focus on either the human body (physical), the human mind (mental), or the human heart (emotional). It was easy to follow this pattern.
Human was full of surprises this year. Because it was my One Word, it kept me aware and open to meeting and learning from other real-life humans in unexpected ways and places.
It may be too soon to tell, but I believe Human helped me grow in curiosity, in patience with others and myself, and in awareness of what it means to be human.
Yes, I am very glad I chose Human as my word. It was so encompassing and alive.
Yes, I would recommend this word to another person, but I would advise they aim for a particular direction with it (while also remaining open) since it is such a huge theme.
5 Stars for Human. And humans!

This One Word linkup will remain open for two weeks, closing at midnight on Saturday, January 6. Link as many posts here as you’d like about your One Word. Each link shared here will also be shared with our One Word Facebook group.

Our first One Word linkup in 2024 will be Wednesday, January 24 (and on the 24th of each month for 2024).

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, .

What rating do you give your 2023 One Word? Will you choose One Word for 2024? Leave a comment here about your One Word.

Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word!

A Spiritual Memoir Every Month to Expand Your Inner World

By LisaNotes December 21, 2023 Books I Recommend, Human: One Word 2023 11 Comments

“Tell me the facts and I’ll learn. Tell me the truth and I’ll believe. But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever.”
– Native American proverb

As the two other women sit around a table with me on a cool fall afternoon, the stories come easily. One by one, we share a little more of ourselves. About people from our past. About amusing adventures we’ve had. About current struggles we’re working through.

Through stories, we get to know each other deeper. We get to know ourselves better, too.

Lory encouraged us on her blog last January to “expand our inner world by reading about the spiritual journeys of others.” She suggested twelve prompts and recommended we each pull from a diversity of spiritual traditions and paths.

I accepted her Spiritual Memoir Challenge to read more stories.

I’m glad I did. It fit perfectly with my One Word Human.

Here are the 12 memoirs (some fascinating, some not so good) that I read month by month, plus 10 extras I read throughout the year. This is the most memoirs I’ve ever read in one year and it was fascinating.

1. JANUARY (Hinduism)

Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramhansa Yogananda

This was the hardest book for me and the one I’m least likely to recommend just because it was difficult to understand. However, I knew nothing about this genre of eastern spirituality before I started reading, so I did learn a few things and the stories were entertaining. And this is apparently a worldwide classic on spirituality, so there’s that. (But I won’t reread it like Steve Jobs apparently did again and again.)

2. FEBRUARY (Buddhism)

In Search of Buddha’s Daughters: A Modern Journey Down Ancient Roads by Christine Toomey

This one was more interesting. It chronicles stories of women from vastly differently backgrounds around the world who have chosen to take the monastic vows to become Buddhist nuns. One thing that stood out to me was that sexism exists inside many religions, including Buddhism.

3. MARCH (Christianity)

The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine by Sue Monk Kidd

I finally felt at home again reading this memoir since I know Christianity from the inside. Sue Monk Kidd shares an intimate look at how her Christianity has shifted through the years as she gathers life experiences. Very easy to read as well as emotionally engaging.

4. APRIL (Judaism)

My Jewish Year: 18 Holidays, One Wondering Jew by Abigail Pogrebin

I highly recommend this book if you want to learn more about Jewish traditions. When Abigail Pogrebin realized she had only minimal background knowledge about her Jewish heritage (both the traditions she did practice and those she didn’t), she set out on a year’s adventure to explore 18 Jewish holidays. This book is her findings.

5. MAY (Leaving one tradition for another or none)

Uncultured: A Memoir by Daniella Mestyanek Young

This was one of the most disturbing memoirs I read. Daniella Young grew up as a member of the religious cult “The Children of God.” Her stories of childhood are harrowing, as was her process of leaving the cult and entering the mainstream world. Highly recommend.

6. JUNE (Muslim)

The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In by Ayser Salman

Part humorous and part serious, this book showed me how this Muslim woman had to navigate the average American culture in ways I had never considered. This book was fine, but it’s likely there are other books more informative on this subject.

7. JULY (Spirituality through illness)

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: Memoir of Life in Death by Jean-Dominique Bauby

This was the most uncomfortable of the memoirs I read. After a devastating stroke, Bauby—the editor-in-chief of a major magazine at the time—became paralyzed except for his left eyelid through “locked-in-syndrome.” Every word of this book was dictated one letter at a time by the author batting his eyelid to someone as they wrote it all down. I felt I needed to appreciate every single word due to the great effort it took to get his message into the world.

8. AUGUST (Atheism)

Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America’s Leading Atheists by Dan Barker

Dan Barker was a leader in the Evangelical church for over 20 years. This story is his deconversion away from Christianity into a free thinking worldview. He writes respectfully and authentically. Very interesting.

9. SEPTEMBER (Spirituality through bodies)

Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir by Pidgeon Pagonis

When Pidgeon was born, their genitalia was neither clearly all-male nor all-female. So the doctors chose female as the assigned gender. But over time, Pidgeon learned the truth of being born intersex. Pidgeon opened my eyes to a world I knew very little about. My book review is here.

10. OCTOBER (Spirituality thru illness)

My Body Is Not a Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church by Amy Kenny

I highly recommend this one for anyone unfamiliar with disability justice (that included me). Hearing the common struggles that those with disabilities endure showed me how many accommodations I take for granted with my abled body. This book is not just about disability in the church, but about in the world.

11. NOVEMBER (Spirituality in politics)

Romney: A Reckoning by McKay Coppins

Once I read the sample for this book, I had to track down a full copy. I’m glad I did. Written from multitudes of Mitt Romney’s journals, emails, and conversations, this book shares the joys and hardships that Senator Romney has experienced during his years in the business world and in politics. Very enjoyable even if you’re not into politics.

12. DECEMBER (Anything)

When Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Enough: A Shooting Survivor’s Journey into the Realities of Gun Violence by Taylor S. Schumann

Taylor Schumann was shot when a gunman entered the college office where she was working. She survived, but she will live with disabilities the rest of her life. The first part of the book was a little disappointing to me, but the second half more than made up for it.

MORE MEMOIRS

Here are ten more memoirs I read throughout the year that I also recommend.

All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore
The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama
Spare by Prince Harry
The Office BFFs: Tales of The Office from Two Best Friends Who Were There by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey
Barkley: A Biography by Timothy Bella
A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing by Amanda Held Opelt
Standing Our Ground: The Triumph of Faith Over Gun Violence: A Mother’s Story by Lucia Kay McBath
Find the Helpers: What 9/11 and Parkland Taught Me About Recovery, Purpose, and Hope by Fred Guttenberg
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
The Deeper the Roots: A Memoir of Hope and Home by Michael Tubbs

Did you read any good memoirs this year? Share in the comments.

Can You Shake Things Up?

By LisaNotes December 18, 2023 Encouragement 11 Comments

We’d had a busy Sunday evening at home with our computers.

Then Jeff’s phone rang.

It was our bank. They were concerned. Our credit card had been charged several times in the past 30 minutes. They needed us to confirm or deny that the charges were legitimately coming from us.

Apparently we don’t shop often enough if even the bank is shocked by our making several purchases in a row.

All the charges were indeed ours.

We got a good laugh out of the bank’s concern (despite the minor hassle of having to scroll back through credit card records to assure them it really was us making the charges). We appreciated that they were watching out for us.

Our habits are often subject to change according to the season. December is the month we shop more than normal.

But maybe we need to shake things up occasionally anyway as a break from our comfort zones. Maybe we need to experiment with new practices in dealing with different situations. Maybe we need to allow others to coax us to branch out.

Trying new things can be a good thing. We need to remain flexible to live appropriately with the times.

Even if it comes as a surprise to those who aren’t used to our adaptability.

Shake things up a bit and try something different this season yourself (as long as it’s not harmful). You might surprise even yourself by what you discover.

When have you surprised someone by doing something out of character, or has someone surprised you? Share in the comments.

Your Heart Was Made to Linger Here
—Book Review

By LisaNotes December 15, 2023 Book reviews 16 Comments

Some books bring a quick invitation to “Read me” and then move along to your next thing.

Other books encourage you to make room in your heart for them: to linger, to ponder, and to act on them.

This new book by Oren Jay Sofer is the latter kind. Your Heart Was Made for This is a stick-around-awhile book.

The book is about cultivating twenty-six qualities that help us lead more whole lives, including Wisdom, Curiosity, Ease, Integrity, and Wonder.

I finished my first reading of the book this month. But I’ll begin anew in January, taking all of 2024 (that’s the plan anyway), for more reflecting and doing.

The book is set up perfectly as a year-long companion. Divided into four parts, with six or seven chapters in each, it allows a convenient two weeks for each of the twenty-six chapters.

Each chapter begins with (1) stories and encouragement, then proceeds into (2) reflections for “Getting Started,” (3) meditations for “Going Deeper”, and (4) actions for “Embodying [the trait]”, ending with a short section for (5) “If you have difficulties.”

Sample: Chapter 8, Courage

For example, chapter 8 is about enhancing our Courage. Sofer begins with this quote:

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
– Audre Lorde

(1) He then shares about his fear of having a child (he’s now a new dad) and goes into other relevant commentary. Sofer writes,

“I fear the intensity of grief and pain that I know accompanies any depth of love and joy in this life. They are inseparable companions, as necessary as up and down, left and right, and it takes courage to acknowledge that.”

(2) For the “Getting Started” section, he advises you to consider one or two challenges you’ve already faced in life. Consider what helped you face any fear or anxiety you felt as you lived through the challenge. Recognize the courage it took to walk through the situation, in spite of the fear.

(3) In the “Going Deeper” phase, Sofer suggests a short meditation on resting your heart while you bring the patient attention of a parent to what you are fearing or avoiding, recalling that courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to be present in the face of fear.

(4) For “Embodying Courage,” Sofer advises that you “choose carefully the next thing that is just beyond your comfort zone” in a challenge you’re currently confronting. Share with another person one specific first step you can take in the next week.

(5) And finally, “If you have difficulties,” Sofer says,

“If you feel stuck, lost, or confused, try dialing things back. Choose a task that doesn’t appear quite so challenging, and develop some strength and momentum there. Slowly work up to bigger challenges.”

Each section is more fleshed out than these brief snippets, but these provide a quick snapshot into the wisdom and practical guidance in this book. It’s meant to be modified to suit your own circumstances and needs, which I look forward to doing in 2024.

Do you have a book you’d like to linger with in the year ahead? Share in the comments.

My thanks to Netgalley + Shambhala
Publications for the review copy of this book.