Lisa notes

If He Keeps Writing
—Thoughts from "Where the Light Fell"

By LisaNotes October 12, 2021 Book reviews, Grace 16 Comments

Hearing, Not Reading This Time

It was a Tuesday night, November 11, 2014. I was visiting Jenna in Auburn for a few days. While she was in class, I drove to Opelika, Alabama, to a small country church that was hosting one of my favorite authors, Philip Yancey.

Would Yancey be as impactful in person as he was in his books?

The night opened with moving worship music by Anthony Evans (brother of Priscilla Evans Shirer and son of megachurch pastor Tony Evans). He encouraged us to not stay in the huddle. Make an impact on the field.

And then Yancey took the microphone.

I was not disappointed. Yancey was as humble and endearing in person as in the written word.

He was a dispenser of grace that night.

Now, I hear from him again, but this time through another book, his memoir.

Where the Light Fell

If you had to choose two themes of your life that you think about, write about, live through, what would those two be?

My two themes might be love and family (both held together by the grace of God). Around these two themes, I’ve made many of my life choices—the occupation I worked, the person I married, the places I’ve lived, the way I raised kids, the churches I attended, the grandparent I try to be, etc.

I’ve made many, many missteps along the way with these two themes. And I’m certain I will continue to.

Philip Yancey writes in Where the Light Fell: A Memoir that the two themes that surface in his books are these: suffering and grace.

I need his two themes in my two themes.

Because I’ve had suffering and needed grace (that’s all of us, right?), I’ve often turned to Philip Yancey through the years when I’ve needed help with both, in the pages of his books:

What’s So Amazing About Grace?
The Jesus I Never Knew
Disappointment with God
Where Is God When It Hurts?
Vanishing Grace
The Question That Never Goes Away

It’s delightful now to hear Yancey’s backstory.

He takes us back to his father dying from polio when Philip was only three years old.

It changes the trajectory of his life. From then on, Philip and his brother Marshall will have scandalous ups and downs as they’re raised by their fundamentalist and mentally ill mother.

Yancey doesn’t hold back from the ugly parts of his life. He takes responsibility for things like this:

“As a true son of the South, I am born and bred a racist.”

and

“Secretly, I liked watching the way bluish smoke curled up from his nostrils. So that’s what sin looks like, I thought.”

But he shows us the redeeming parts too. We see the changes.

In true Yancey form, the writing is both glorious and haunting. Reading his story has the power to change our own story.

His conservative upbringing mirrored mine in some ways (no “mixed bathing” at church camp, for instance) yet he somehow arrives at the conclusion that, “Nothing, in the end, was wasted.”

I haven’t attained all the wisdom of Yancey, but I appreciate how he is lighting the way for my path. I want to come to the same conclusion that he has at the end of this “verbal selfie”:

“Above all else, grace is a gift, one I cannot stop writing about until my story ends.”

Yes, please keep writing, Philip Yancey.

I’ll keep reading.

Excerpts from Where the Light Fell

Here are more insights into Philip Yancey from Where the Light Fell.

“I spend my summers at a Bible camp and the rest of the year living on the grounds of a hard-line church. I breathe religion. Yet as I prepare to enter high school, I feel more anxious than holy.”

“In my time at the Bible college, I’ll end up hearing several hundred chapel talks. Only two speakers stand out to me: Mr. H. and Anthony Rossi, the only two to admit failure and weakness.”

“Perhaps, the thought crosses my mind, I am resisting not God but people who speak for God. I’ve already learned to distrust my childhood churches’ views on race and politics. What else should I reject? A much harder question: What should I keep?”

“I begin to view church, like family, as a dysfunctional cluster of needy people. Life is difficult, and we seek ways to cope.”

“I came to love God out of gratitude, not fear.”

Do you have a favorite Philip Yancey book? Share in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley + Convergent
Books for the review copy of this book

When the Sliver of Light Is Your Only Hope

By LisaNotes October 10, 2021 1 John 1 Touch the Light, Hope 14 Comments

A Knock on the Door

It’s around 10:30 p.m. on the cruise ship. We’re somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. I am too tired to stay up any longer.

I send Jeff out with our group of friends to go to the next show without me.

I’m in bed alone, lights out. I hear a knock on the door. I’d locked it earlier, but not bolted it. I want Jeff to be able to get back in when he returns.

Has Jeff forgotten his key?

I don’t want to get up unnecessarily, so I first try saying, “Come in.”

I hear the door open. But when it does, it’s not Jeff standing there.

It’s not anyone I know.

It’s a man in a uniform.

This Is Not Normal

The stranger steps inside my door, leaving it cracked. He tells me he’s with maintenance. He’s here to work on the door.

We actually had reported a problem with our door earlier that morning. It wasn’t locking well.

But what maintenance man comes calling at 10:30 p.m.???

I wasn’t dressed appropriately to get out of bed to show him the issue. And I was too shocked to say the most logical thing, “Please leave now. Come back tomorrow!”

So instead, he props open the door, just a sliver, and sits down quietly on the floor with his tool box.

And I lie in bed with HUGE prayers.

God, please, let this man be legit. Please make him leave. Please let Jeff come back NOW.

I feel completely vulnerable. My phone is out of reach. And even if I were to scream, who would hear me? My friends in the cabin room next door are out with Jeff.

The man seems nervous, too. He walks into the bathroom. He does something noisy with the trash can. Then he walks back to sit on the floor by the cracked door.

This is not normal.

But as long as I see the sliver of light shining into the room from the hallway, it means the door is still propped open. And it means I still have hope to avoid total darkness with this stranger, unprotected and all alone.

It seems like an hour passes.

But it’s probably only 10 minutes. The man is still sitting on the floor, thinking with his tools; I’m still frozen in bed, my heart racing, my mind spiraling.

I hear voices down the hall. It’s Jeff returning to the room, thank God!

He’s surprised to see this man here.

Jeff asks what he’s doing and immediately tells him to leave. The man mutters a quiet reply under his breath, quickly grabs his tools, and scurries down the hallway.

He’s gone.

That Sliver of Light

I’ve never felt such relief in my life. I’ve been rescued. The complete darkness never came. Not this time.

The next day we report the incident to our cabin steward. He is distressed. He knows nothing about a maintenance call nor who the employee could have been. He apologizes and promises it won’t happen again.

I’m still shaken for days afterward.

Perhaps the man had no nefarious motives. But this could have ended differently, especially in my imagination.

Yet instead of a disaster, I’d only had a scare.

I’m beyond grateful.

Thank you, God, for that sliver of light, for leaving the door cracked open, for always leaving space for hope.

I want to stay in your light forever.

Even though this took place five years ago, it still feels fresh.

Our memory verses in 1 John 1 this week are about admitting when we need help from God. When we each come clean with him, we stay in the light with each other.

When have you felt saved by the light? Share in the comments.

Is There a Cure for Being Human?

By LisaNotes October 8, 2021 Book reviews 24 Comments

When You Hear the C Word

I was 46 years old when I got the cancer diagnosis. While it had crossed my mind as a possibility, I didn’t really expect this phone call.

“We need you to come back into the office. We have your results.”

“Okay, when?”

“Can you come this afternoon?”

You know that’s never good.

And while it wasn’t good—it was colon cancer after all—it was at least the best possible way to get it: early, small, and totally removed. They got it all, even before they realized it was cancerous. I never required any treatment.

The only hassle has been multiple colonoscopies between then and now and still to come.

But that’s okay.

Those things are minor.

There Is No Cure for Being Human

It wasn’t so minor for Kate Bowler.

Maybe you read her memoir in 2018, Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved. She’s since published a new book in 2021, No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear).

This latest book chronicles Kate’s journey with Stage IV colon cancer at age 35, in the midst of an America that preaches, “Harness your mind to change your circumstances. The salvation of health and wealth and happiness is only a decision away.”

Kate writes,

“We find it especially difficult to talk about anything chronic—meaning any kind of pain, emotional or physical, that abides and lives with us constantly. The sustaining myth of the American Dream rests on a hearty can-do spirit surmounting all obstacles, but not all problems can be overcome.“

Kate chronicles her mindset as she hears she has two years left to live, and then as she decides to try an experimental treatment.

Her insights along the way prove useful for all to hear.

“But no matter how carefully we schedule our days, master our emotions, and try to wring our best life now from our better selves, we cannot solve the problem of finitude. We will always want more.”

And this conclusion: “There is no cure for being human.”

But There Is Relief

But the book isn’t fatalistic. Just realistic.

“Time itself will be wrapped up with a bow, and God will draw us all into the eternal moment where there will be no suffering, no disease, no email. In the meantime, we are stuck with our beautiful, terrible finitude.”

And in this beautiful, terrible finitude, we all continue living, loving, taking one day at a time.

Kate’s cancer treatment did make her tumor disappear.

My own cancer has not returned either.

I’m grateful. But I’m also aware that, if not colon cancer, I will still die from something, eventually. It’s only a matter of time.

And that’s okay. There’s no cure for being human.

But there is eventual relief from its impermanence.

How do you stay hopeful in hard times? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Can You Love Too Many People?

By LisaNotes October 5, 2021 Book reviews, Encouragement 24 Comments

Does Withholding Love Ever Work?

Can you love too many people?

I don’t mean, can you be “in love” with more than one person at a time?

Nor do I mean, can you love “too much” in unhealthy ways?

Instead, what I mean is this: Is it possible to love too many different kinds of people, those unlike you as well as those similar to you in beliefs and culture?

We all know Jesus said the greatest command is to love God and love people.

But when we do love, why sometimes is it “God’s people” who get the angriest about it? They (we?) may say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin” but what ‘sinner’ has ever felt loved by that philosophy?

Sometimes people will cut you off if you love more people than they want you to, especially if those you love are the “wrong” kind of people. They might even withdraw their own love from you to bring you back in line.

This is meant to incentivize you to change who you love.

But does this ever work?

Ground Rules for a Better Way

How do we make friends with people who are different from us anyway?

I just finished a most interesting book on creating friendships among seeming opposites. It’s The Doubters’ Club: Good-Faith Conversations with Skeptics, Atheists, and the Spiritually Wounded by Preston Ulmer.

The Doubters’ Club itself (not the book) is an actual gathering of different kinds of people who meet together in different cities to have respectful discussions with each other. It began in Denver, Colorado, as a conversation between two friends, one an atheist and one a Christian.

Ulmer says that the goal of the Doubters’ Club is “to model friendship with people who think differently and pursue truth together. Period.” It’s not to convert each other to their own ideologies. There are no ulterior motives.

From Ulmer’s perspective, it’s a way for believers to find common ground with unbelievers using doubts.

Is there a Doubters’ Club in your city? (See locations here.) Not in mine. I wish there were.

But Ulmer says the Doubters’ Club isn’t really about doing new things. Rather, “it’s a new way to do everything.” It’s a lifestyle of interacting with people differently, to be a bridge instead of a barrier.

And we can do that anywhere, anytime.

Here are the five ground rules for the official Doubters’ Club conversations. But they also are rules we can apply to all our conversations:

1. We value respect above being right.
2. We listen without interrupting.
3. We are a safe place.
4. We listen with an open mind.
5. We understand and accept differences of opinion.

Conversations full of spiritual curiosity can lead to committed friendships. To loving each other more, which is God’s goal for each of us anyway.

Grow Among Differences

One of Ulmer’s chapters is titled: “GOD, I’M TIRED OF THIS: The Exhaustion of Only Having Christian Friends.” In this chapter he writes about the disadvantages of having an “us versus them” mentality.

“Only having Christian friends puts you on the defensive when you encounter a doubter, and being on the defensive all the time is exhausting.”

It creates an atmosphere of distrust from both sides.

“Those outside the faith are apprehensive of those inside the faith, while those inside the faith are exhausted by the demands of their own in-group.”

A way to counteract this is to make friends with all kinds of people.

And in doing so, you don’t have to justify your choice, even when it brings criticism from your in-group.

“You do not need to spend needless energy justifying your association with people who are not like you. Instead, expend your energy on those people by being with and for them. The best way to justify your time with those not like your in-group might just be to get crucified by your own in-group.”

We grow from being around those who think differently than we do. We’ve all likely experienced enlightening moments of seeing God in a fresh light when we’re with those least like ourselves.

“Committed friendships between nonbelievers and believers help us unlearn what it means to be churched and relearn what it means to be the church. Sometimes we find our beliefs changing —sometimes profoundly —but what always, inevitably changes is our heart.”

And this:

“Initiating conversations that matter is not so that we can create converts. It’s so that we can taste the goodness of God with others, leaving us both craving more.“

Make Unending Attempts at Love

There’s a version of Christianity that says love everybody, but also ignore some, exclude others, judge many. Is this love? Does it feel like love to those being ignored, excluded, and judged?

When we’re anti-people, we’re also anti-God.

How can we say we love God if we don’t love people (1 John 4:20)?

Not just love some people. Not just love those inside the flock. But love all people.

“Instead of defending the reputation of the flock, what if we returned to the actions of the Shepherd? The Shepherd whose friendship with sinners was so fierce, he was stereotyped as one of them: ‘The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners’ (Matthew 11:19, NIV).”

Can we love too many people?

I wonder if Jesus would answer like this: Never. It’s impossible to love too many people.

“The mature in Christ make unending attempts at love.”

Look around for the next person to love. You can’t love too many.

Have you ever been criticized for who you are friends with? Share in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley + Tyndale House Publishers
for the review copy of The Doubters’ Club

Would You Rather Hide in the Dark or Show Up in the Light?

By LisaNotes October 3, 2021 1 John 1 Touch the Light, Encouragement 21 Comments

When It’s Too Light

I turn out the lights again in the guest bedroom. I’m testing it a third time.

Another failure.

There’s still too much light.

I want it dark. As dark as I can get it.

I’ve tried pulling the blinds lower, the curtains tighter. But light still makes it through.

I’ve already spent two nights in this beach condo waking up almost every hour, thinking it is morning because the light is streaming through the blinds so brightly.

But it isn’t the sun I am sensing. It is only the bright lightbulb in the hallway right outside my window, making my brain think it is morning.

I need the darkness so I can rest.

Hide in the Dark

Nothing is wrong with wanting it to be dark when we sleep.

But what about when we want to hide in the dark as a coverup in the day? When we don’t want others to know what we’re really thinking? What we’re really doing?

There are things we don’t want others to see.

Our flaws
Our resentments
Our doubts
Our anger
Our greed
Our failures
Our laziness
Our pride

To keep our false image alive, we think we need to keep the negatives hidden in the dark.

But no matter how dark we try to make it, we still can’t block out all the light.

Because light can’t be overcome by darkness.

God is pure light.

And God is everywhere.

Show Up in the Light

These week’s memory verses for me are 1 John 1:5-6:

5 This is the message we heard from Christ and are reporting to you: God is light, and there isn’t any darkness in him.
6 If we say, “We have a relationship with God” and yet live in the dark, we’re lying. We aren’t being truthful.

If I want the best relationship with God I can have, I need to be authentic. I need to show up in the light.

I can step into full light with God. I can be authentic with God because he knows all of me anyway. He loves all of me anyway.

A healthy relationship is a genuine relationship. I can have that with God. I can have that with others. I don’t have to hide behind toxic positivity or a flawless facade.

On the third night at the condo, I find a set of extra sheets in the closet. I thread them over the top of the curtain rod. I tuck in the ends tight. I clothespin the edges of the curtains together. I stuff an extra towel at the base to create a seal.

I flip the light switch to off.

Rest in the Light

In the end, it wasn’t really total darkness I was seeking: It was just rest.

I thought darkness would bring rest.

But it is God, the Light, who brings lasting rest.

Even now, I’m still tempted to slip in and out of dark coverups to find security when I feel vulnerable.

But extra sheeets over curtain rods doesn’t really do it. Instead, it’s in the light of God that I find the most acceptance. The most peace.

And the most rest.

On the third night, I sleep at last.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

And when you leave a comment here or in our Hide His Word Facebook group, you’ll be automatically entered in our Candle Giveaway!

Our fellow 1 John 1 participant Donna is graciously donating a candle made by Syrian women refugees to one lucky winner. Check out Mercy House Global for more on this ministry that Donna supports.

The giveaway closes on October 15. Winner will be announced October 17. Leave a comment here.

How Well Do You Know Yourself?
—Grace & Truth Linkup

By LisaNotes October 1, 2021 Grace & Truth Link-Up 3 Comments

Who do you know better than anyone?

Is it yourself?

“Getting to truly know ourselves as we are is the most freeing thing we can be and do,” says Pam Ecrement in this week’s featured post.

Who can guide us in this journey to knowing ourselves better?

Pam says:

“The safest and most reliable way to take that journey of discovering our true selves happens when we choose our Creator as the guide in this process. After all, He made us and knows everything about us and what is especially important is that He knows what we do not see and loves us still.”

I agree. No one knows us better than God. And no one loves us more than God. We can trust his faithful companionship and guidance along this journey of self-awareness.

“Make room in your day to hear that voice who is Truth.”

Thanks for sharing your post here last week, Pam.

You can read all of Pam’s post here:

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