Lisa notes

For years I’ve seen the guns every time I visit. They’ve been in plain sight. They’re neatly stacked against the fireplace brick.

I’ve also seen some of the dead animals, the stuffed trophies mounted above the hearth. I’ve eaten from fresh kills of doves, quail, geese, and deer.

I know the guns I see aren’t loaded. Definitely not. The family is ultra cautious with firearms. They abide by all the rules, purchase the appropriate hunting licenses every year, and maintain flawless records of gun safety.

Yet why do I feel uneasy seeing the old firearms now, when I hadn’t felt uneasy before?

Perhaps because our culture has changed.

While firearms have always been used to kill people in wars, in personal arguments, and in moments of despair, they weren’t always used to kill bystanders in grocery stores, in movie theaters, and in elementary schools.

In many states like my own Alabama, you can see guns on hips when you’re eating a chicken biscuit at Hardees, or peeking out of your girlfriend’s purse when you’re riding together in her car. But having guns everywhere isn’t making us safer. Twenty years of data have proven that guns in the hands of civilians have not reduced targeted violence. In only a very few incidents has an armed civilian successfully stopped a shooter.

I also see guns in my own house. My husband learned to hunt with his father and grandfathers and uncles. It’s a family tradition. He’s never had to even buy one himself. They’re passed down through the generations as family heirlooms.

Our firearms stay locked away, safely secured. I don’t have to worry about a child accidentally finding one, or about guests playing with one.

But not every home is so secure. Not every child is blocked from walking around with a loaded gun. Actually, 4.6 million children in the U.S. live in a household with at least one loaded, unlocked gun.

As I read more books about guns this year, it’s disturbing.

Below are five books I recommend from what I’ve read this year, both as a gun owner AND as an advocate for more reasonable gun laws. I encourage you to get more educated about gun use and gun laws, too, whether from books, advocacy groups, conversations, or your own research.

Then do what you can to encourage responsible gun ownership and legislation. Not to take away all guns from all people. But to use common sense to keep guns out of the hands of irresponsible people or people in a mental health crisis, just like we do with cars, with medicines, etc.

Regardless of where you stand politically, aren’t we all on the same side of wanting fewer deaths from gun violence? Fewer suicides? Fewer domestic abuse cases?

Have conversations. Learn facts. Promote better laws. Vote for responsible representatives. Buy a gun safe. Join or donate to organizations doing the work.

And maybe read some books, too.

1. Standing Our Ground
The Triumph of Faith Over Gun Violence: A Mother’s Story
by Lucy McBath

This story by Lucy McBath is about her 17-year-old son Jordan who was shot dead at a gas station by a man who thought Jordan was playing music too loud on his car stereo.

2. Find the Helpers
What 9/11 and Parkland Taught Me About Recovery, Purpose, and Hope
by Fred Guttenberg

When Fred Guttenberg heard there was an active shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, he didn’t know his precious 14-year-old daughter Jaime was one of the victims, changing his own life forever.

3. How to Talk About Guns with Anyone
by Katherine Schweit

Educate yourself with this easy-to-follow book about all things related to firearms: its history, court decisions, current legislation, the Second Amendment, and all types of weapons.

4. The Violence Inside Us
A Brief History of an Ongoing American Tragedy
by Chris Murphy

Learn about the origin of violence in the United States, and the path it has traveled through the years, plus what we can do now to save lives.

5. Fight like a Mother
How a Grassroots Movement Took on the Gun Lobby and Why Women Will Change the World
by Shannon Watts

Shannon Watts describes why and how she started Moms Demand Action, a grassroots movement to protect people from gun violence (loosely modeled on MADD, Moms Against Drunk Driving) after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut.

It’s not impossible to change our attitudes, our cultural divisions, and our gun laws.

Together, all our individual things can add up to a better and safer world for everyone.

It’s Week 4 of Nonfiction November. We’re linking our posts with Rebekah at She Seeks Nonfiction about Worldview Shapers, books that change the way we see the world.

Do you know someone who has died from gun violence? Do you have a book you’d recommend? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read More:

• When the Children Go Hide
  The kids knew how to respond to this active shooter situation (I didn’t). Should I be glad? Or devastated?
• If You Can’t Offer a Guarantee, Cry About It
  Her grandson was murdered. All I could offer was presence, with no guarantees.
• Hey You, One Person, Keep Doing This One Thing
  Like my thing in the group for gun violence prevention, your thing may not be glamorous either. But keep doing your one thing. It matters.
• When the Bad Thing Does NOT Happen
  My daughter heard the shots. She saw the shooter. When something bad happens, it gets our attention. But when it doesn’t? Do we notice?

Do you ever read a novel and think, Did any of this really happen?

Or read a nonfiction book and think, This is such a great story!

Many nonfiction and fiction books work well together. For Week 3 of Nonfiction November (hosted by Liz Dexter), we are pairing up nonfiction and fiction books that complement each other.

Here are my 4 pairs.

Book Pair #1

NONFICTION – I Didn’t Sign Up for This

We all can use a little help with our relationships, right?

Even therapists themselves?

Of course. This book by couples therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgelish enlightens us not only on how she does therapy with her clients, but also how she needs to apply the principles in her own marriage.

Dr. Tracy brilliantly guides us back and forth between the stories of four couples in her therapy practice and her own story of problems with her husband.

She writes,

“I’ve been a human a lot longer than I’ve been a therapist. . . . Even for therapists, knowing better and doing better are two vastly different things.”

If you’d like a true behind-the-scenes look at therapy—plus get advice for your own partnerships—I highly recommend this book.

FICTION – The Golden Couple

On the other hand, if you want to escape real-life for a bit, you can get a similar behind-the-scenes therapy look from this novel by Greer Hendricks.

The plot centers around a wealthy couple, Matthew and Marissa Bishop, who sign up for marriage counseling with a renegade therapist Avery Chambers. The mysterious story takes you through secrets that everyone is holding on to, including the therapist. (I loved alternating between listening to the audiobook and reading the hardback.)

Book Pair #2

NONFICTION – The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland

We often assume incorrectly that catastrophes bring out the worst in people. To counter this myth, read this true story from Gander, Newfoundland, about the week of 9/11/2001. I highly recommend it.

It’s a true feel-good story of how a small town welcomed thousands of surprised and stranded passengers from all over the world into their community for days after the U.S. closed down airspace due to the September 11 attacks.

I also saw the Broadway musical Come from Away about this story; it too is fabulous.

FICTION – Anxious People

A very different but comparable story of random people coming together in a crisis is this exquisitely written novel by Fredrik Backman.

It’s a quirky story of a bank robbery gone awry. Backman uniquely and intricately weaves together an entire cast of random characters who show up at the same time for an apartment viewing. Along with the bank robber, they are trapped together and forced to interact with each other.

As soon as I finished the book, I had to return to the beginning and reread the first few chapters with my new knowledge of the ending. Masterfully written, Mr. Backman.

Book Pair #3

NONFICTION – Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Even though I’m years removed from my active parenting years, I still benefited greatly by reading Dr. Becky Kennedy’s parenting book Good Inside. It’s applicable to all relationships, regardless of age, not just for parents.

Dr. Becky’s advice is to prioritize connecting more than correcting. And to intervene by looking for the good inside each person instead of reacting from frustration and anger.

“Underneath ‘bad behavior’ is always a good child.”

This advice is helpful to remember for all human beings.

FICTION – The School for Good Mother

The School for Good Mothers holds the exact opposite premise of Good Inside, which makes for an interesting pairing.

In The School of Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan, each mother who has made a mistake with her child is constantly told how horrible she is at her core, whereas in Good Inside each person is reminded they are essentially good at their core.

The School for Good Mothers is a horrific story in the genre of The Handmaid’s Tale. It revolves around Frida Liu, a struggling mom who makes a poor decision one morning to leave her toddler alone for a few hours. For that crime, she undergoes a year-long stay at a parenting school under the worst conditions, mentally and physically.

Book Pair #4

NONFICTION – Saving Us: A Climate Scientist’s Case for Hope and Healing in a Divided World

I learned so much from Katherine Hayhoe’s book Saving Us. She writes about the harm we’re causing our planet, but more importantly, also about what we can do about it (other than groan, which used to be my go-to). The book addresses our treatment of Earth from many perspectives—science, psychology, and Hayhoe’s Christian faith.

Saving Us is both easy to understand and hopeful. It was highly recommended to me a few months ago, and it didn’t disappoint.

FICTION – The Ministry for the Future

This novel marks a turning point for me.

The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson prompted me to join a climate group, among other things, and (indirectly) to read Katherine Hayhoe’s book and other nonfiction books about climate.

The novel is written from multiple eye-witness accounts (fictitious but plausible) of how climate is affecting the world. It centers around the Ministry for the Future, created in 2025, and moves forward into multiple dismal stories.

Honestly, it was a depressing book to me. And long. And confusing (it helped when I switched to the audiobook and could hear different voices to understand who was narrating).

However, it motivated me. I don’t want to live in a world like that. So I recommend it to you, too.

Which nonfiction and fiction books would you pair? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read more on Fiction and Nonfiction books:

• Why Fiction and Nonfiction Are More Alike Than You Think
• More Fiction and Nonfiction Books that Go Together
• 4 Pairs of Nonfiction and Fiction Books

If you’re a nonfiction reader like me, the month of November is our time to celebrate! Nonfiction November is a fun blogging challenge to share about our favorite and upcoming nonfiction books.

I’m answering Heather’s questions for Week 1.

1. What books have you read?

Here are the nonfiction books I’ve read so far in 2023, as pictured on my Goodreads account (I blocked out the fiction titles).

2. What were your favorites?

Looking over the ratings I’ve given these books, I gave 5 stars to 31 of them. Yikes—maybe I’ve been too generous. (But I also was generous with 2 and 3 stars to other books; I abandon reading anything lower than that, once I discover it).

Here is a random hodgepodge of 8 titles of those 31 favorite books (I’ll wait for December to decide my official top favorites of 2023).

• Why We’re Polarized
• The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
• The Art of Nonviolent Communication: Turning Conflict into Connection
• Uncultured: A Memoir
• I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
• My Body Is Not a Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church
• Saving Us: A Climate Scientist’s Case for Hope and Healing in a Divided World
• The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland

3. Have you had a favorite topic?

Humans. Since Human has been my 2023 One Word of the Year, I’ve intentionally read a lot of books about our humanity and how humans communicate and relate with each other.

4. Is there a topic you want to read about more?

Climate. I joined a local non-partisan climate group this year (truly both red and blue participants!) about how we can better impact our environment for all humans present and future. There is a learning curve for me, but it’s an important issue for all of us so I want to continue reading, learning, and doing more.

Heather hosted a linkup the first week of November to share what we’ve read so far. It’s closed to new entries, but you can still check out others’ posts to get ideas for your own to-be-read list.

What’s a favorite nonfiction book you’ve read so far in 2023? Share your thoughts here.

Read more:

• What’s Your Favorite Nonfiction Category? {Nonfiction November Week 2}