A Clue in Every Frame: Zoom In on Your One Word
{One Word 2025 May Linkup}

Ready for some visual fun this month? Join us for May’s One Word Challenge!

Below is our May linkup for your One Word posts. Scroll down to link blog posts about your word or to share a comment about it.

Be a One Word Photo Sleuth!

If you have a phone or a camera, you’re all set. Your mission:

Look for clues of your word all around you—in people, objects, or places. And include yourself in at least one photo!

Here’s how to take part:

  • Keep your eyes open for hints of your word
  • Take photos when you spot them
  • Share your photos with the group

If you blog, share a post below with the photos you take. The One Word linkup is open through midnight on Sunday, June 8.

You can also share your photos in a Facebook post with our One Word group.

The more you look for your word, the more it will show up. Let’s stay curious, stay connected, and keep noticing our words in the many places they show up.

Here are places I saw my word Ripple the past few weeks.

Thank you, Lynn, for sharing this Mother Teresa quote!

 

Generational ripples, delivering meals with my daughter and now my grandson

 

Ripples and upside down reflections on the lake behind our house

 

“Our actions ripple out” – Sharon Salzberg quote from a book I just finished

 

Alongside real ripples at the beach, finding ripples in “There Are Rivers in the Sky”

 

Celebrate curvy lines…a quote I saved

 

Ripple effects change the world – an Instagram meme

 

Tossing rocks with our little guy and making ripples

 

Finding “ripple” at Yosemite National Park

 

Yoga mat ripples in the morning

Where have you seen YOUR One Word this month? Share your thoughts here.

Looking ahead: Our June linkup opens on Wednesday, June 25. Plan to join us with an update about your One Word.

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here any time of the year.

Link Up About Your One Word

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Is Forgiveness Optional? Can You Heal Without It?

Is Forgiveness Required for Healing?

If you were asked, “Is forgiveness required for someone to recover from a trauma?”

You might instinctively answer, “Of course! You can’t fully heal if you don’t forgive.”

But might reality be a bit more nuanced?

In You Don’t Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms, psychotherapist Amanda Ann Gregory delivers a more refined message: forgiveness is not a requirement for healing from trauma.

You Don't Need to Forgive

Instead, Gregory presents forgiveness as a choice—one that shouldn’t be forced, rushed, or assumed. If you or a survivor you know has ever felt pushed to “forgive and forget,” this book can feel quite spacious.

Drawing on research and the lived experiences of survivors (including her own experiences), Gregory dismantles the assumption that forgiveness is a universal milestone in trauma recovery. She emphasizes safety, agency, and emotional processing as the real foundations of healing.

“Forgiveness is not required to recover from trauma, but safety is.”

Granted—and do hear this—Gregory does NOT say that forgiveness is bad. In fact, she still recommends forgiveness as a helpful tool. She just say it’s not necessarily a requirement for recovery.

She sees forgiveness as elective, not obligatory, citing situations where people have healed equally well with or without forgiving their offender.

A Compassionate Reframing of Recovery

Gregory writes that many trauma survivors actually feel alienated when they are pressured to forgive, either for moral or therapeutic reasons. She says this pressure, while often well-meaning, can:

  • Undermine recovery
  • Encourage unsafe reconciliation
  • Shame survivors for having anger, fear, or grief

forgive

Obligatory forgiveness can lead to what Gregory calls “cheap forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness in the wake of trauma requires time. Forgiving an offender can take months, years, or a lifetime. Premature forgiveness—also called cheap forgiveness—is when we forgive without going through the emotional processes necessary in order to forgive authentically.”

More holistically, Gregory suggests that forgiveness can instead be one tool among many for trauma recovery.

Key Insights from the Book

1. Trauma Recovery Begins with Safety

  • Safety isn’t just about being safe—it’s about feeling safe.
  • Trauma disrupts our ability to assess safety accurately.
  • No true recovery—or authentic forgiveness—can happen without it.

“You cannot live a fulfilling life when you feel unsafe.”

“Feeling is just as crucial in trauma recovery as being.” 

2. Forgiveness Is a Choice, Not a Milestone

  • Authentic forgiveness is slow and cannot be rushed.
  • Premature forgiveness can cause harm.
  • Some survivors never forgive and still fully recover.

“Forgiveness is less something one does and is more something one undergoes.”

“You can experience acceptance without forgiving your offender(s).” 

3. Acceptance Can Be Just as Powerful

Gregory introduces acceptance as a legitimate endpoint—or waypoint—in healing:

  • Acceptance doesn’t mean condoning harm.
  • It means releasing the emotional hold the past has on you.

“Acceptance is not forgiveness… but it is one of the most essential experiences in recovery.” 

4. Social Pressures Can Be Damaging

Gregory explores the cultural forces that complicate forgiveness, especially for women:

  • Women are often expected to be “good victims”—quiet, forgiving, compliant.
  • Forgiveness is sometimes used to silence survivors or rush their healing.
  • It can even lead to unsafe reunions with abusers.

“Forgiveness can lead to reconciliation, which may jeopardize a survivor’s safety.”

“Forgiveness is not a substitute for justice, and indeed it is often an obstacle to it.” 

5. Emotional Processing Can’t Be Skipped

One of the most practical takeaways is this: you cannot bypass emotional work.

  • If forgiveness is used to suppress anger, grief, or fear, those emotions will return.
  • Emotional processing is essential—and often longer-lasting than we expect.

“You may have tried to forgive so you could let go of uncomfortable anger… However, you cannot truly relinquish your emotions without first experiencing them.” 

Who Should Read This Book

You Don’t Need to Forgive isn’t a book for everyone, but it could prove helpful for:

  • Trauma survivors and those working with them
  • Friends and family looking to better support survivors
  • Anyone reevaluating the role of forgiveness in their healing journey

Gregory’s philosophy of allowing space for unforgiveness is a paradigm shift. It acknowledges the complex reality of trauma recovery and shows there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing.

Recovery isn’t a hard science; it is full of gray areas. So staying open to questions can also open a wider array of possibilities, forgiving or not.


What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Share in the comments.

Explore more: 

My thanks to NetGalley for
the review copy of this book


The Ripple Effect of One Yes

“Consider what becomes possible when we remember that the individual is always part of the whole, and any change in ourselves will widen and ripple outward.”
– Abigail Rose Clarke, Returning Home to Our Bodies

It all started with one small yes.

Our Zoom group was asked, “Who would be interested in an online book club?”

Yes, please. Me!

One Yes Leads to Another

And so it began.

  • Because I joined the Zoom book club, I read our first book, Returning Home to Our Bodies.
  • Because I enjoyed the book and discussion so much, I also joined the new in-person book club at my local independent bookstore.
  • Because I joined that group, I got the store’s newsletter in my inbox.
  • Because I opened the newsletter, I signed up for the store’s card-writing workshop.
  • Because I showed up for the workshop, I created three handmade cards to send to my legislators.
  • Because I mailed those cards, I felt (a little) less helpless about politics—for a few hours anyway.
  • Because I felt more empowered politically, I also sensed more energy in my spirit, and also in my body.
  • Because I noticed the positive shift in my body, I was reminded again of the book that started it all.
  • And I remembered that first yes.

One thing indeed led to another, rippling outward from one yes to the next.

The Ripple That Keeps Going

Likely because I am looking for it, Ripple (my One Word of the Year) keeps showing up everywhere. Not always in big, splashy ways, but often in subtle, yet still soul-stirring, experiences.

Here are three quotes that remind me of ripples from the book club book, Returning Home to Our Bodies. 

1 –Everything we do, certainly everything we begin, is in a web of nearly infinite relationships. But while nothing is truly a beginning, everything has to begin somewhere.

2 – Here is one seed, a beginning to so much more. Seeds are a beginning, of course. Each seed is a tiny bundle of magic, containing incredible potential for growth. But a seed is not a beginning, not in the absolute sense.”

 3 –A beginning is never a beginning. Everything arises from something else. This is the beginning of this book. But it is not a beginning in the most absolute sense.”

Pause to let it sink in. “Everything has to begin somewhere” and “Everything arises from something else.” Where did I begin? My conception? Or maybe the conception of my parents? Or of their parents? Back and back it goes.

It’s humbling and beautiful. The new yeses I say are really echoes of past ripples—mine and others’. My yes to a book club wasn’t really the beginning. It was one more wave in a sea of connections stretching back further than I can imagine.

My Ripple Practice This May: Everything Changes

This month, my Ripple practice is grounded in the mantra:

“Even this will change.”

I whisper it to myself when things feel overwhelming. And I remind myself of it when things feel joyful, too.

Good things don’t last forever. But neither do bad things. I find an odd comfort in knowing that everything changes with time.

So when you wonder if your small yes matters—yes, it does.

When I said yes to the first book club, I hadn’t realized I would then join another one and make new friends in my community and then make handmade cards to send my legislators and then feel more connected not only to my outer world but also to my body.

But that how ripples flow.

Maybe you’re beginning a ripple this month, too, planting a seed, or continuing a wave that started long before you knew it existed. Every little action—not only the brave, vulnerable ones, but even the mundane, everyday ones—changes something.

And each of those changes also changes you.

Where have you seen the ripple effect lately? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read More:


An Extraordinary Letter in the Mail

It seems like nothing out of the ordinary.

  • Write the words in a letter.
  • Lick the envelope closed.
  • Add a U.S. postal stamp.

But a walk to the mailbox is monumental when you’re sending your love.

Image: An Extraordinary Letter in the Mail

Putting our heart into the world is risky. It makes us vulnerable. It opens us up to rejection in a way that feels dangerous.

We never know how our love will be received.

Will it be appreciated, as a valued letter to be treasured?
Or will it be dismissed, as unsolicited junk to be thrown in the trash?

Yet still.

We do it.

We take our chances and spread our love and hope for ripples to reach the right person in the right place at the right time.

Eventually we all do it. Risking to love is a process we trust again and again and again. From the first person to the last, we all sooner or later pull our heart out of our soul to lend to another body, and hope our heart finds its new home in gentle hands.

As Brian McLaren says,

“To trust in the process is another way of saying to trust in an intelligence wiser than current human intelligence, to trust in a love deeper than current expressions of human love, to trust in a desire stronger and wiser than current expressions of human desire.”

This dare to love—with no backup plan—is our act of faith, our test of courage, our practice of giving.

And then, in life’s neverending goodness, maybe love will circle back around and return to us, completing the cycle.

I place the white envelope—my tangible trust—in the black mailbox. I raise the red flag to signal the mail carrier. Come pick up my heart today. Send it into the world. 

It may be camouflaged as a simple letter in the mail. But it holds all my love. Handle with care.

Any time we share our heart, in whatever way we send it, is no ordinary thing.

Love is always extraordinary. 


What daring act of love (and EVERY act of love is brave and generous and good) have you given or received lately?

Share in the comments.

revised from the archives


Is There a Way to End Christian Nationalism?

Because many Americans (religious or otherwise) are impacted by the intersection of faith, democracy, and justice in the U.S., this book by Amanda Tyler (an attorney and lead organizer of Christians Against Christian Nationalism) comes at a critical moment in our history. How to End Christian Nationalism aims to uncover how Christianity is being weaponized to justify fear, exclusion, and even violence in our nation.

Before you pick it up, though, here are a few things to know about this book.

  • This book is NOT an attack on Christianity or Christian expression in public life.
  • This book is NOT about labeling individuals as enemies.
  • This book IS a call for everyone—both believers and non-believers—to reclaim the values of love and care.
  • This book IS about how to understand and dismantle a deeply embedded ideology.

Tyler makes it clear that Christian nationalism is both an ideology and a political movement. It’s not about one politician or party—it’s about a false narrative that links Christianity with national identity, white supremacy, and authoritarianism.

There is no easy fix for Christian nationalism because, as Tyler points out:

“Ending Christian nationalism cannot be accomplished in my lifetime or yours. We must accept that a problem that has gone unaddressed for centuries will take several generations to resolve.”

However, Tyler still offers 8 steps as a starting place for “this multigenerational project.”

Step One: Name and Understand the Threat

“Christian nationalism is flourishing both because it is a pervasive ideology and because it is a well-funded political movement.”

  • Christian nationalism predates the founding of the U.S.
  • It thrives on myths, like the idea that the U.S. is or should be a “Christian nation.”
  • When people understand what Christian nationalism really is, they’re more likely to reject it.

Step Two: Ground Yourself in Love

“Christian nationalism bows to three idols in particular: power, fear, and violence.”

  • This chapter is a reminder that the foundation for resistance needs to be rooted in love, not fear.
  • Tyler draws a sharp contrast between the gospel of Jesus and the gospel of domination.

Step Three: Denounce Violence

“One marker of the violence that surrounds us is American society’s idolatrous devotion to guns and gun culture.”

  • This section was particularly powerful to me as a gun safety advocate.
  • Tyler explains how the gun culture in America is often wrapped in religious rhetoric with deep ties to a Christian nationalist ideology.

Step Four: Commit to the Separation of Church and State

“Preserving religious freedom is important not only for historically marginalized groups. Separation of church and state is also an important protection for those who practice the majority religion.”

  • Religious freedom loses all meaning if it isn’t for everyone.
  • Tyler explains why state-endorsed religion actually weakens authentic faith.

Steps Five–Eight: Take Action Locally and Publicly

“Working to end Christian nationalism does not mean working to end Christian expression in the public square.”

These chapters are full of practical tools:

  • How to have hard conversations with loved ones
  • Ways to advocate in your local church or school board
  • Ideas for organizing or supporting efforts in your community

Most importantly, Tyler encourages everyone to keep showing up—in love and truth—whether Christian or not.

Tyler is careful not to demonize anyone who is already a follower of Christian nationalism. She focuses on the ideology, not the people caught up in it. She doesn’t label anyone a Christian nationalist, but rather talks instead about Christian nationalism, a subtle difference but a significant one. This respectful distinction is an excellent starting point for conversations we need to have on any divisive topic. Otherwise, name-calling and harsh assumptions crush any chance of moving forward together.

Who should read this book? Anyone who values freedom and democracy, regardless of your religious orientation. It’s not an easy read—but it’s an important and relevant one. Christian nationalism is something we all should understand if we want to end it.

As Tyler says,

“When people know more about Christian nationalism, they are much more likely to reject it than to embrace it.

Clarity around what Christian nationalism is and the impact that it has on our and our neighbors’ freedoms is an important first step to dismantling the ideology and its threat to democracy.”


Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to Netgalley for
the review copy of this book


Is This Sacred Practice Enough? Holding Joy and Grief Together

“A seed refuses to die when you bury it, that is why it becomes a tree. A seed neither fears light nor darkness, but uses both to grow.”
—Matshona Dhliwayo

Morning Light and Digital Windows

It’s a sunny morning as I sit here in my favorite recliner with my laptop balanced on my knees. I open a browser tab to view my Instagram profile.

I look at the last 30 squares from April, a whole month worth’s of photos (unusual for me!).

As I scroll through my pictures, I see:

  • People I loved
  • Foods I enjoyed
  • Books I read
  • Places I grew

Is it enough?

A Sacred Tension

A month ago I joined the #TheAprilJoyProject: one photo a day of something joyful. It seemed simple, even fun.

But I’m gonna be honest. Having lived with a terrible loss the past three and a half years, I still have days when it’s hard to let joy rise to the surface, even though I know I have a million reasons to be joyful (and I wouldn’t have made it then or now without those!).

Yet the sadness still sits alongside it all.

So I continue to work to accept both the dark and the light. To encourage myself in the discipline of finding joy amidst the struggles. Not to deny sorrow, but in companionship with it.

To answer my own question of “Is this enough?” I say yes, it is enough.

We all have experienced and will continue to live with both:

  • hard things and easy things
  • pains and pleasures
  • losses and gains

These don’t cancel each other out. They won’t balance evenly on a scale, in either direction. But they can coexist in a sacred tension that keeps us grounded in our humanity.

A Life That Holds Both

So today may we—once again . . .

  • Be with people we love, even as we cry for those who are absent
  • Eat foods we enjoy, alongside some healthier ones we might enjoy less
  • Read books that entertain us, and some that stretch us
  • Grow in places we walk, even if we cringe at our inadequacies there

Beginnings and endings and beginnings and endings will keep on rolling through. We’ll mourn some. Laugh with others. We might even post some on Instagram.

But let’s also center ourselves in this exact experience we are having in this very present moment, whatever it holds.

Together we can acknowledge that alongside our hardships, joy is here, too. Together they make a whole life.

And a whole person.

~ * ~ * ~

Full Circle: Day 30

Below is my Day 30 Instagram post that wrapped up the series. It feels appropriate to share in this space, too. I hope it will encourage you to keep showing up, too.

Instagram Lisa_Notes

I woke up on the wrong side of hope today. I opened my email to find more reminders that our country is moving away from love and liberty and toward negativity and narcissism.

But I got up anyway. I still put on my shoes. I still took my walk. I still ate a healthy breakfast (well, if you don’t count the bacon). For today, these small things are my quiet acts of resistance.

– The trees were still standing tall.
– The birds still serenaded the neighborhood.
– The geese were still squawking in my backyard over who gets the girl.

So today I have to make the intentional decision—again—to choose hope.
– Not the hope that believes things will turn out my way in the end.
– Not the hope that denies the pain that already exists.
– Not even the hope that someone or something else will swoop in and save the day if it finally gets bad enough.

❤️ Instead, I’m choosing hope that walks anyway, breathes anyway, loves anyway. The hope that I’ll have the resources I need when I need them. The hope that decides I can still show up in this imperfect body in this imperfect world and connect with other imperfect people.

That’s the real work. And real joy. That’s what matters the most.

So this photo of my workout clothes is my reminder that just as life goes on, I can keep going on, too. It’s another day that—once again—hope beats despair.

Day 30 – You, at the end

#TheAprilJoyProject #AprilPhotoaday #ChooseHope #EverydayResistance


Do you also feel the mix of sadness and joy in your life? Share in the comments.