Lisa notes

Is Patience Always a Virtue?

By LisaNotes April 26, 2022 Encouragement 15 Comments

The Last Bit of Toothpaste

It’s getting dark outside, almost bedtime. Jeff is in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

I walk into the bathroom too and grab my toothbrush. Jeff hands me the toothpaste tube. It’s been squeezed so much already that surely another drop can’t come out.

I say thanks but no thanks. I give the tube back to him.

And I reach for my own tube of toothpaste in the drawer.

He suddenly laughs and laughs.

I don’t get it. At first….

How Patient Are You?

Many people (myself included) don’t think they’re patient. We think we’re bad at waiting. And maybe we often are. (I was on hold with AT&T last week when my internet went down; don’t ask me about my patience.)

But maybe it’s not patience in general that we lack. Maybe our patience level is just dependent on what we’re being patient for.

For instance, Jeff and I do this unspoken thing with the ham.

We buy a full ham at the grocery store to have on hand for sandwiches. But we know we’ll never eat the whole ham before it goes bad.

So after the package is opened, it needs to be divided into smaller packages to put in the freezer. It’s a bit of a hassle. You have to fight with the saran wrap, and use up some of your time to do it.

Thus, nobody wants to open the ham.

If you’re first, you’re responsible for putting it up.

But if you can wait out the other person, they’ll have to do it and you’ll be scot-free.

It sounds ridiculous, I realize, and also quite selfish, which aren’t top traits we like to label ourselves with.

But what does this waiting bring out in us?

Patience.

Incredible amounts of patience. Patience we never knew we had. I can patiently wait to open the the ham for days, thinking Jeff will get to it before I do. And he likewise.

More Patient Than We Know

The same thing is happening now with the toothpaste.

Jeff has been waiting for me to get tired of squeezing the tube so I would hunt through the drawer to find the new tube (and I confess, it can be a scary hunt through the drawer).

But when I pull out a different toothpaste I’ve been using for weeks—a separate brand I’ve been trying for sensitive teeth—Jeff confesses he has been holding out for naught.

He has been so patient.

So now he laughs. He had only been waiting on himself. He could have waited forever.

And I laugh too. I totally relate; it’s the kind of thing I do as well.

I may not always be patient with him, but I can be quite patient with my own procrastination, with my own avoidance of work, with my own faults.

I may not be patient enough with others. But am I too patient with my own procrastination, too patient with my own avoidance of work, too patient with my own faults?

Maybe we’re all more patient than we think.

And maybe patience isn’t always a virtue?

* * *

Do you consider yourself patient? Share in the comments.

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Share Four Somethings—April 2022

By LisaNotes April 22, 2022 Life updates 24 Comments

Near the end of each month I share four somethings with others at Heather’s.

The four categories are:

something loved,
something gleaned,
something braved (OR something saved), and
something achieved.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Loved

INSTAGRAM “FOLLOWING” OPTION

I’m so glad Instagram recently added the option of choosing a chronological feed for accounts I follow instead of the default Home feed based on algorithms.

I also no longer have to see ads or recommended accounts. For now anyway. Yay!

Something Gleaned

LEARN FROM YOUR REGRETS

Daniel Pink is one of my favorite authors. His latest book is another winner, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.

Are your regrets more about things you didn’t do but wish you had, or about things you did do that you wish you hadn’t?

Pink says inaction regrets outnumber action regrets by nearly two to one.

To “ease the sting” of a regret, he suggests you switch from thoughts of “If only” to “At least” (especially for action regrets). Fascinating book!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Braved

AN ONLINE COACH

I’ve found counselors to be a big help through rough patches in various seasons of my life. But it’s always hard for me to take the initiative to find the right counselor, make an appointment, and go to the first visit.

This week I scheduled a free 15-minute informational session with an online coach who is an expert on my current dilemma.

And I’m so glad I did. We really clicked and have already had a great first session, which was so helpful.

Doing brave things doesn’t come naturally to me. I hope pushing through my discomfort will pay off in the long run.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Achieved

FINISHING 30 DAYS OF YOGA

One of my intentions during the 40 days of Lent this year was to set aside 30 minutes a day (on most days, not all) for a 30-day yoga practice. And I completed it! The series focused on breath, which was perfect for connecting me with God and with my body.

What have you been up to this month? What are you looking forward to in the next month? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Here’s Our April One Word Linkup: 3 Things to Do With Your One Word of the Year
—One Word Linkup

By LisaNotes April 22, 2022 One Word Community 16 Comments

Share Your One Word Update

Link your blog post below about your One Word and share an update about your One Word in the comments.

3 Things to Do with Your One Word of the Year

1. TALK TO SOMEONE

Start a conversation with somebody about your word. See what it means to them. Ask how it works in their life. Share your own thoughts with them.

2. LOOK AT ITS OPPOSITE

Sometimes knowing what our word does NOT mean can help us understand what it does mean. Look up the antonyms of your word this month. Get any insights?

3. SHARE YOUR ART

If you created any artwork or graphics from our 40-day Lent challenge (or anytime), share them with someone in person or with us online. Add them to the linkup below, or in our Facebook group, or tag us on Instagram @onewordcommunity. We want to see!

Thanks again to Lisa Hite for sharing her with us. She gave us lots of fun ideas to participate with our words!

This One Word linkup will remain open through Saturday night, April 30.

The next One Word linkup will begin Sunday, May 22 (every One Word linkup in 2022 opens on the 22nd).

Leave a comment here about your One Word.

Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word!

When the Children Go Hide

By LisaNotes April 20, 2022 My stories 12 Comments

Jeff and I are sitting on the top row of the first set of seats, sunken right below the main lobby and walkway at the newly renovated Legacy Arena in Birmingham. We’ve been watching the Alabama High School Basketball State Finals on this March weekend.

This Saturday afternoon we’re watching the boys and girls finals for each region. The games have been nail-biters. We’ve been amply entertained.

Until the already noisy arena becomes much noisier. But it’s not from the basketball game.

It’s from the hallway right behind us. There’s a flurry of activity.

We see the crowd gathering. We hear the teenagers yelling. We overhear rumors there’s a fight.

But then we see something very different.

Across the arena in the student sections, we see crowds of teenage spectators suddenly running frantically down the steps of the arena, climbing over the rails, to escape to the nearest exits.

And the students left behind who haven’t evacuated?

They’re hiding. We see them crouching as low as they can get under their stadium seats.

What is happening here?

And what are Jeff and I supposed to be doing???

We aren’t sure.

We don’t want to go up into the hallway. That’s where the ruckus is. We don’t want to go down into the basement. We have no idea what’s happening there either.

So we wait.

Surely the announcers will give directions soon. But they’ve either disappeared off the court or are hiding under tables courtside on the arena floor.

My heart is pounding. My thumbs are scrolling through Twitter. Sometimes it’s quicker to get news from social media than in person.

I start gathering my belongings into my clear plastic bag, the one that was inspected for illegal weapons when we entered the arena at 9:00 this morning. I want to be ready to dart out in a hurry, if we decide it’s needed.

Early reports from social media and the hype in the arena are now coming in. Some say they saw an arm in the air with a gun. Some say they heard the words, “Gun! Gun! He’s got a gun!” Some say they heard POP POP POP.

At last, an announcer returns to the arena microphone. He tells us to remain in our seats. He tells us we are safe. He tells us no shots have been fired.

The game will resume shortly.

The students crawl out from under their seats.

False alarm or not, knowing how to protect themselves in these scenarios are what these students have trained for.

The students have been taught how to respond to an active shooter situation.

I don’t know if I should be glad.

Or devastated.

We never heard for sure if shots were actually fired that afternoon in the Birmingham arena. There were no reported injuries anyway. My heart breaks for those in other places who’ve had very different outcomes in their schools, their shopping centers, their movie theaters, etc. Lord, have mercy.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

5 Ways to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

By LisaNotes April 15, 2022 Release: One Word 2022 14 Comments

I’m sitting empty-handed at the sandwich shop with my friends. We’re waiting on our names to be called for our food orders.

But in the meantime, I hear a phone go off with a familiar ring tone. It’s the text sound I use for someone I love, but from whom I haven’t heard from in awhile.

I catch my breath. I’m finally getting the text I’ve been waiting for!

I pull the phone from my back pocket to read the text. . . .

5 Ways to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

This month for my One Word RELEASE, I’ve been working on releasing unrealistic expectations.

How do we let go of unrealistic expectations?

1. PAY ATTENTION

The first step is to become aware of the expectations we have. It’s easier said than done, I know. We often don’t realize that we are expecting something until we don’t get it when, where, and how we thought we would.

But we can’t intentionally release an expectation until we realize we’re holding it.

2. BE CURIOUS

Secondly, once we see our expectations, we need to question them. Would someone else in our situation consider this normal? Do these expectations feel too grandiose even to us? Have past experiences proven these outcomes are likely?

Taking a closer look at our expectations helps us discern which ones need adjusting.

3. DROP PERFECTION

If we discover we’re holding hope for the perfect solution to our circumstance, that’s a red flag. That might be the first expectation we need to release. Perfection in this world is a rare occurrence.

Be willing to accept and appreciate a Plan B solution as a viable alternative.

4. KNOW YOUR LIMITS

We often forget what we can control and what we can’t. Recognizing the limits we’re working under can help us move our expectations to a more realistic place.

Setting healthy boundaries for our expectations increases our capacity for contentment regardless of what happens next.

5. STAY OPEN

Sometimes the wildest things do happen. It is possible to be surprised above our expectations. But a more reasonable goal is to be flexible as events unfold. This mantra might be appropriate: “Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn’t happen, doesn’t happen.”

Be willing to deal with the actual results either way.

A Dose of Realism

Back at the sandwich shop, I casually look at my phone, even though my heart is pounding.

But the screen is still black. No message.

It wasn’t my phone that pinged. It was someone else’s.

The cashier up front now calls my name. My food is ready. But I no longer have an appetite.

My expectations got me again.

While it’s normal and healthy to get our hopes up about things, it’s not beneficial to cling too tightly to results out of our control.

I gently unclench my fingers from my phone. I put it back in my pocket.

This situation is out of my hands.

Release the need for control. Release the need for clarity. Release the need for certainty.

Release the expectation for the text I’m longing for.

Hold on to what I do know—to who I know—and once again seek to gain wisdom, practice grace, be compassionate.

These gifts can be found in abundance. These are expectations I need never release.

Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist about your expectations? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Just One Roll of Toilet Paper, OK?

By LisaNotes April 13, 2022 Grace 16 Comments

In the desert he fed you manna—something your ancestors had never seen. He tested you to make you humble so that everything would go well for you in the end.
Deuteronomy 8:16 (ERV)

It’s called Manna House, our local food distribution center. I thought I got it, you know, manna…basic needs…God provides…every day. We all know the story about the Hebrews in the desert being fed with manna from the sky (Exodus 16).

But it took me awhile to relate the only-one-day-at-a-time philosophy to Manna House.

I’m not sure where all these food and toiletry items come from that are given at Manna House to our city’s needy—some are leftovers from restaurants; some are mislabeled cans that can’t be sold at grocery stores; some are donations from individual companies.

I just know it’s a lot of stuff.

But there are a lot of people who come for it.

So while a variety of goods can be distributed to everybody that comes in, the quantities per person are limited.

I remember a night I was volunteering to give out toiletries. The toiletry area is the last stop before the exit. After going through the food line, people can ask for extras like shampoo and deodorant, when we have it. A sandwich baggie of baby wipes and four diapers per child. One regular bar of soap or two bars if they’re small.

And one roll of toilet paper (as long as it lasts anyway).

All are welcome to come back another day and get another roll. And many do.

But for this day, one roll is it. Enough for a day for a family. Manna.

Still, people do ask for more. Naturally. And it hurts to say no. But the more rolls given to one person, the less rolls for everybody else. The rolls to distribute are limited.

Personally if there’s one thing I never want to run out of it, it’s toilet paper. We all went through that scare during the first year of the pandemic.

Yet…yet…there’s something about only having enough supplies to hand out for the day that keeps everybody coming back together, both those in need and those who volunteer. We’re all dependent on how God’s people carry out God’s mercy.

Now that’s not to say God wouldn’t want us to bless someone with a 12-roll pack. Or that God wants us to live life on the edge, one roll at a time.

But if one roll a day is what we have right now—with hope for another roll tomorrow—maybe it’s enough. For today.

Does it satisfy me? Does this manna feel sufficient?

My manna of energy?
My manna of time?
My manna of knowledge?

Is it enough to know what will happen today? Or do I want a year’s supply of foreknowledge to store up? Is one set of 24 hours enough from dawn to dawn? And is it okay by me that I run out of energy after 16 of those hours and need to go unconscious for the next 8?

(And would I feel less greedy for more if I hoarded more than my share and woke up with maggots in the pantry like the Hebrews experienced when they hoarded manna?)

There’s something about receiving only enough for the day that keeps me coming back for more. It keeps me dependent on the mercy of God.

Granted, I’ve received far more than a day’s supply of most everything possible. I eat often of the fruit from Canaan (Joshua 5:12)—I’m grateful.

But for the supplies that only trickle in one day at a time, I still want to be grateful. To be humble. To be content.

For enough.

I’ll just have to keep trusting God’s grace—however it’s delivered—one roll at a time.

One day at a time.

What do you have a scarcity mindset about? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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