Lisa notes

On the Blog – October 2024

By LisaNotes October 31, 2024 Archives No Comments

Here are brief summaries and links to posts on the blog, Lisa notes, from October 2024.

See previous months’ archives here

Her Long-Awaited Vote: Ms. E’s Journey to Representation

By LisaNotes October 30, 2024 Discrimination, Encouragement 18 Comments

A Determined Woman for History

Back in September, Ms. E came to us a little unsure, asking for help to see if she was still registered to vote. She wasn’t certain if she was still on the rolls. She had voted by absentee ballot in the last presidential election.

But this time, it’s different for her.

She doesn’t want to simply mail in her ballot.

Do It In Person

This time, Ms. E is determined to do everything she can to vote in person, because for the first time in her life (in all our lives!), she will have the opportunity to cast a ballot for a Black woman running for President of the United States.

Ms. E is an elderly Black friend of ours. She didn’t think she’d ever live to see this moment—a Black woman on the ballot for the highest office in our nation. After 46 presidents, with just one person of color among them—and even he was a man—she’s seeing the turning of a new page in history.

We hear the enthusiasm in her voice and see the determination in her eyes.

Representation Matters

We all like to see a piece of ourselves in the world, whether it’s in the media we watch, in the books we read, in the conversations we have.

And in the slate of legislators we vote for. Everyone deserves to be acknowledged, respected, and understood.

Like all of us, Ms. E wants to vote for someone who knows what it’s like to live in her skin.

Do You Belong Here?

If you’ve ever walked into a party and discovered you’re the only one in a t-shirt when everyone else is in a ballgown, or you’re the only female at the table surrounded completely by men, or you’re the only person with your skin tone among a sea of one color, you might relate to feeling underrepresented.

But if even one person is beside you who shares your similar journey, you feel more understood.

This year, diversity at the top of the ticket isn’t just something to imagine; it’s something within reach, and Ms. E wants to show up in person to support it.

Her Plan Is Ready

We asked Ms. E yesterday if she had her voting plan ready. “Oh, yes,” she said with a smile. We knew she had confirmed her registration a few weeks earlier. She told us she now has at least three other people lined up to go to the polls with her. She’s ready.

I wish I could be by Ms. E’s side on November 5, to witness her mark that historic box on the ballot. Her excitement, I’m sure, will be contagious. In that simple act, I hope she’ll feel a little more seen, a little more heard.

When people like Ms. E are also represented, it doesn’t just uplift one person; it strengthens our whole community.

Because every voice, every experience, every person—like our beautiful Ms. E—truly does matter.

Read more:

Share your thoughts in the comments.

My Must-Read Nonfiction Recommendations: Books that Deepen Connections
{Nonfiction November Week 1}

By LisaNotes October 28, 2024 Books I Recommend, Relationships 34 Comments

Each November, I take a month to share the best of the nonfiction books I’ve been reading this year. I’m often surprised by the trends that emerge, and this year, one stands out: connecting within relationships.

My top nonfiction books reveal how vital our relationships are—both with ourselves and with others—to our life’s purpose. Relationships are where we find love, connection, and meaning. These 6 books below also happen to align with my One Word of the Year, Curiosity. Interactions between humans are definitely a curious and complex thing.

Top 3 Relationship Books

Here are my top 3 relationship-focused reads this year, each offering fresh insights on building stronger connections. I’ve learned so much from these, and I think you will, too.

1. How to Know a Person
The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
by David Brooks

How to Know a Person

If you like to really know a person, this is the book for you. Brooks is so engaging and practical in his advice to better see other people and to allow yourself to be more seen.

[Read my thoughts here on How to Know a Person at “Share 4 Somethings”]

2. Fight Right
How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection
by Julie Schwartz Gottman, John M. Gottman

Fight Right

This book is full of practical and insightful advice about how to have clearer and more productive discussions with your partner. The Gottmans have been doing scientific relationship research for years and years, and this book is fruit of that work. Very engaging.

One of the big takeaways for me is: stop assuming you can solve every disagreement. You can’t. Much of the time, simply understanding each other’s viewpoints is a win itself.

[Based on Fight Right, read “10 Myths (And Realities) About That Fight You Just Had With Your Partner”]

3. Forgive for Love
The Missing Ingredient for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship
by Fred Luskin

Forgive for Love

Highly recommend! Like Luskin’s first book Forgive for Good, this one—Forgive for Love—also lays a practical foundation for holding space for differences between humans. This one is centered around the steady flow of grace that partners in a relationship need to extend to each other on a daily basis, not just about their large issues but the smaller ones, too.

Top 3 Memoirs

I also read several great memoirs that show how relationships work in individual lives. These 3 memoirs stand out as beautifully honest reflections on love, identity, and self-discovery.

1. Lovely One: A Memoir
by Ketanji Brown Jackson

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As the first Black woman on the Supreme Court, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson knows about resiliency and relationships. This remarkable book traces her journey from a childhood shaped by educator parents to her historic role on the highest court in America. Her hope and integrity are so admirable to me.

2. Somehow
Thoughts on Love
by Anne Lamott

Somehow Thoughts on Love

Oh, I love reading Anne Lamott books. Anne is wise, provocative, spiritual, funny. And honest. About herself and about her relationships. This book of essays and stories on love is as brilliant as her previous works. A must read.

3. Oath and Honor
A Memoir and a Warning
by Liz Cheney

Oath and Honor

Representative Liz Cheney goes into detail about gathering the facts around the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, and about how the process affected her personal relationships. She writes even-handedly and cites multiple sources of credible witnesses leading up to the day, the day of, and the days following January 6.

Goals for Nonfiction November

What do I hope to get out of Nonfiction November this year? As usual, I want to find more exciting nonfiction books to read.

But as a bonus, I know I’ll also find new blogs to follow. I discovered some of my favorite blogs to follow through Nonfiction November series in the past.

So here’s to finding more treasures together again this year!

What nonfiction book would you recommend this year? Share in the comments.

Read more:

Link up about your year in nonfiction for Week 1 of Nonfiction November at Heather’s.

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5 Questions to Lead to Your Next One Word of the Year (Start Now!)
{One Word 2024 October Linkup}

By LisaNotes October 24, 2024 Curiosity: One Word 2024, One Word Community 15 Comments

Yes, it’s already time to start thinking about your One Word for 2025! 

Are you already getting ideas for your next One Word? Don’t wait until December or January. What you choose now will help frame your entire year. 

Take a moment in the next few days to listen for a word that resonates with you. 

And if you’re adventurous, get AI to help you choose your word—find 6 prompts here!

5 QUESTIONS

Here are five questions to explore what matters most to you and to guide your choice. I give my own answers here.

1. What worked well—and what fell flat—with my One Word 2024?

My One Word 2024 CURIOSITY turned out to be incredibly versatile. Curiosity can be applied in any situation, at any time, and in any place. The challenge was focusing it enough to make it practical. To keep it manageable, I paired Curiosity with 26 other words this year (ex: wonder, gratitude, empathy, attention), rotating a new word every other week. It kept things fresh and gave me direction. 

2. Do I have unfinished business with my 2024 word that can evolve into my 2025 word, or is it time for a new direction?

Because almost anything can be explored through curiosity, I think whatever word I choose next can naturally lead into another cycle of discovery and curiosity.  

3. What challenges or opportunities are on my horizon, and which word will empower me to face them head-on?

I foresee familiar challenges in 2025 that I’ve had in 2024: navigating loss and grief, finding ways to live true to my values, staying connected with those who choose to be part of my life, and continuing to work on causes that matter to me. I’m trying to find one word that can encompass those goals. 

4. Does my 2025 word need to be fiercer, lighter, more playful, or more serious to match where I’m headed?

I toy with the idea of choosing a more playful word each year, but in the end, I’m always drawn back to something more serious. I want a word with purpose—one that helps me make the most of the years I have left.

5. Which word lights a fire in me, inspiring me to live my values?

Right now I’m torn between two different directions. One set of words I’ve been considering is: Connect or Matter or Ripple. The other set includes: Here or Impermanence. I’m not sure yet, so I’ll keep thinking about it.

BONUS CHALLENGE

Sketch out the journey of your past One Words. Do you notice any patterns or progression? Could those be leading you to your next word?

For fun, I threw my last 5 words (2020-2024) into ChatGPT and asked it to create an image. With a few of my own modifications, here it is. I can personally see how one word led to the next each year, even if it’s not obvious to someone looking from the outside. 

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Let us know what word you’re thinking of choosing for 2025! Our October linkup will stay open from Thursday, October 24, until midnight on Thursday, November 7. Next month’s linkup will open on Sunday, November 24 (and on the 24th of each month for 2024).

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If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas, join here any time of the year.

Link all of your ONE WORD blog posts below. Do you already have an idea for a 2025 One Word of the Year? Share your potential words or an update on this year’s word in the comments.

Link Up About Your One Word!

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Share 4 Somethings – October 2024

By LisaNotes October 22, 2024 Life updates 29 Comments

For the 2024 edition of “Share 4 Somethings,” Jennifer asks us to share each month:

  1. Something loved and/or disliked
  2. Something accomplished
  3. Something improved upon and/or that needs improvement
  4. Something noticed

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Loved

  • JENNA THE JUNGLE GYM: REAL ADVICE FROM A REAL MOM 

I’m not biased or anything, but my daughter Jenna launched her own blog two years ago, and it’s been fantastic. It’s called Jenna the Jungle Gym.

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Jenna is a former 1st grade teacher and now a mom to a 3-year-old (my beautiful grandson!), so she shares lots of great content on crafts, educational tips, kid-friendly toys, playground reviews, party foods, organization hacks, and more.

Her latest Halloween post is absolutely adorable. She is so much more creative than I am! Give her a visit to get fun ideas for your own Halloween treats and decorations. Follow her on Instagram here.

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 ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Accomplished

  • FAMILY MEAL COMPLETE!

It finally happened! Two months ago I shared my hope of hosting a meal for my extended family in honor of our uncle, and playing the piano for an old-fashioned sing-along (singing runs deep in our family). But we had to cancel when my uncle’s immune system measured too low.

Instead, we waited a few more weeks until he was feeling better. And on his actual birthday—his 86th!—we all came together to eat, sing, and enjoy each other’s company.

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I was hesitant to play the piano in front of everyone at first, but I eventually gave in—and ended up loving our musical time together. I’m glad that one of my sisters took lots of videos of the day so we can look back on it later.

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~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something that Needs Improvement

  • HOW TO BE A POLL WORKER

I’m stepping into something new—and feeling a bit nervous about it. Two years ago, my husband Jeff and I applied to be local poll workers for our elections here in the U.S., but we were never called. Until now!

Next week, we’ll attend the required training for poll workers, and on November 5, we’ll be on the other side of the polls, helping with the election process. Alabama is one of only three states that has no early voting (the other two are Mississippi and New Hampshire), so I’m hopeful for a large turnout on election day. I expect the process to be smooth and fair, as it normally is. It’s such an honor to take part in our democracy.

I hope you have a plan to use your voice to vote on election day, or sooner if your state allows! (Honestly, I’m anxious for this election season to just be over. You, too?)

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~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something Noticed

  • AN EASY WAY TO FIND NAMES OF PLANTS

I’ve been admiring these flowers in front of a neighbor’s house and wondering what they are for a while now.

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Then, during one of my walks, I remembered how easy it is to identify plants with just an iPhone—no special app required!

Here’s how:

1. Take a photo of the plant (or save a photo sent to you).
2. Open the photo.
3. Swipe up slightly, and the plant’s name will appear below the image, along with links for more information.

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I now know this is Silver Cock’s Comb (Celosia), known for its brilliant colors. They’re low-maintenance, so I might plant some next spring in my own yard.

What is something you are loving, accomplishing, improving, or noticing this month?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

How One Mistake Made Me Like Her More

By LisaNotes October 18, 2024 Human: One Word 2023, My stories 10 Comments

A few of us had scheduled a Zoom meeting with a friend to give her feedback on an article she was writing. We’d met a couple of times online already, but I still felt a little nervous about the whole process. My own insecurities rise to the surface in newer situations like this.

The scheduled time arrived. But the friend didn’t show up. We waited for her. Then waited a little longer. She was still a no-show, and we didn’t know why. We stayed on the line nonetheless and took the conversation in a different direction until our hour was almost over.

Then five minutes before we were scheduled to sign off, the friend suddenly popped up on the screen!

After a few seconds, it dawned on her what had happened. She wasn’t a few minutes early, as she thought, but was an hour late. She’d forgotten to adjust for time zones.

She was so embarrassed.

But in that moment, instead of feeling annoyed at her for her mistake, I liked her even more.

Because haven’t we all been there? Haven’t we all been red-faced and apologetic for doing something illogical?

It’s part of being human.

If it had been me, I know I would have felt as mortified as she did though. It’s hard to give grace to yourself when you’re the one messing up. Humanity doesn’t seem as endearing when you’re the one demonstrating it.

But for those on the other side, watching someone make a blunder who is normally so put-together actually makes them more relatable. We often connect with each other the most in our moments of vulnerability and imperfection.

There’s even a name for it: the pratfall effect. It’s what happens when someone we already admire makes a mistake. We can feel more fondness toward them as a result of their humanity. But if someone we don’t already like happens to make that same mistake? We like them even less. It’s not fair, so we need to watch for it, but it happens.

My takeaway from my friend’s embarrassing moment? Aim for competence, but don’t sweat it when you flub up now and again. It won’t make your friends like you any less.

Your flaws might actually make them like you even more, for being imperfect, just like them.

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Have you liked someone even more after seeing them make a mistake? Share your thoughts in the comments.