20 years ago . . . Lessons from Kali and infant loss

  • Where were you 20 years ago?
  • What were you doing?
  • Who were you with?

I was in the hospital delivering my second daughter. Praying she would live here. And crying when she didn’t.

Even though Kali hasn’t physically lived with us the past twenty years, her presence has. Having her in our lives continues to teach us much.

I’m collecting those lessons here. Please share your own as well.

Infant loss

Part of living life well is learning to live through death well.

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16 thoughts on “20 years ago . . . Lessons from Kali and infant loss

  1. Sel

    I’m sorry I had forgot that was today. I will be praying for you throughout the day and thanking God for the reunion you will have with her one day!

  2. Mia

    Dear Lisa
    I never knew you lost a child when you were younger! I am so sorry to hear that. Oh, I can imagine the joy one day when you meet her again when you go home to Jesus.
    Blessings XX

  3. Jacque Watkins

    Oh Lisa…my heart is with you. Remembering your sweet Kali today and sending so much love. As I take care of mamas in the hospital and walk with them in the beginning rawness of their loss I pray with them and for them and beg God to be used to comfort them somehow…to make a difference someway. And sometimes that just means sitting on their hospital bed, holding their hand, and crying. Because sometimes with loss so deep, there are no words. xo…

    1. Lisa notes...

      I have such special love for nurses like you Jacque. One of my nieces was a nurse in the pediatric NICU for awhile (now she’s in regular L&D) and I know she was/is so tender toward parents struggling with life and death of their sick babies. You truly do holy work each day you are with those families!

  4. Sharon O

    So sad I cannot even imagine going through labor and delivery and not bringing a baby home that has to be the most sad, devastating losses. Your body wouldn’t know so it would ‘want’ a baby near and your heart too. I am sorry.

    1. Lisa notes...

      Yes, going into the hospital with our baby inside me and having to leave the hospital without her was definitely a hard, hard time. Part of our hearts stayed behind. But the Lord does bring healing and although we still ache for her, we know we’ll meet again. Thanks for your kind words, Sharon.

  5. Mary

    Oh, Lisa…you know that I can relate. We have talked about the similarities of our situation in places away from the blog comments. I prayed for you today. I wish I could be there to hug you, to hold your hand and share your tears. I read this earlier today and left a comment. I came back to re-read it and my comment isn’t here along with some others that were here earlier. Odd…

    Hugs to you my sweet friend.

    1. Lisa notes...

      I so appreciate you, Mary. I felt your prayers and they helped. You know how this day feels, always bittersweet. Love for our children outweighs the pain, but the pain is still there. [You did have a comment show up on the Infant Loss page so maybe that’s what you’re not seeing here? I thank you for both!]

  6. Elizabeth Stewart

    The fact that heaven is a real place, that eternal life is true, how does one cope with this sort of loss without knowing that? Praying that you are comforted with God’s love today as you remember Kali. Thinking about your parents, whole and healthy, there with her.

    1. Lisa notes...

      Thanks for mentioning my parents too, Elizabeth. Even though I miss them here, it is very sweet for me to know that they are with Kali now in a way they never were here. And that one day we all will be together again. Yes, I often wonder too how people make it without that hope….

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