7.5 Reasons to Celebrate Introverts
No one says this about me:
The party really starts when she arrives.
Nor this:
The party is over when she leaves.
As an introvert, I don’t make a big splash when I enter (or exit) a room. I’m okay with that.
However, there are times when I’m not happy about being an introvert.
- Sometimes I feel awkward when I can’t come up with a conversation topic.
- Or I feel rushed when I can’t articulate my thoughts quick enough.
- Or (this is a biggie) I get overwhelmed when I have hours left to socialize when I really just want to leave NOW, go home, and read my book alone.
So when I came across this list of reasons to celebrate being an introvert, I wanted to share them. It’s from Beth Buelow’s book, Insight: Reflections on the Gifts of Being an Introvert (apparently I put this book on my Kindle in 2012, but never opened it until now; I’m a little behind).
7.5 Reasons to Celebrate Being an Introvert
1. Depth of Curiosity
“I have an intense need to know. This need ranges from the superficial (I had to literally sit on my hands while watching a movie last week, holding myself back from running to IMDb for info) to the profound (shadow work and leadership).”
2. Ability to Be Alone
“It’s impossible to overstate how important this is for me as a solopreneur. An extrovert friend recently said, ‘You’re lucky you’re an introvert, you don’t mind working home alone. I’m about to go stir crazy!’ Lucky, indeed!”
3. Quiet Energy
“My energy tends to be a calming presence, which means I don’t take up too much space in a room or conversation. And I don’t need to take up a lot of space. I have a greater influence when I am intentional and deliberate in my speech and presence.”
4. Close Listening
“This makes me a good coach. I can listen ‘in between the words’ to what my client is saying, as well as hear what he’s saying without thinking about what I’m going to say when he’s done talking.”
5. Introspection
“Since childhood, I’ve been fascinated with my inner world. I’m grateful for the tangible proof of that fascination: stacks of journals in my closets, chronicling my life from first kiss to marriage.”
6. Close Friendships
“I have a few, close friends. And how I love that. My strong preference for quality over quantity means I’ve developed a chosen family based on mutual love and respect.”
7. Self-Contained
“I’m pretty easily amused. It doesn’t take much to entertain me; give me a book, a place to nap, my laptop, and I’m generally good to go. This makes me relatively low maintenance and a fairly cheap date.”
7.5. Look Before Leaping
“This is one of the core traits of an introvert. We like to observe before jumping in. This is a huge asset, as it keeps us from seriously unintentional actions and big-time goofs.”
(Beth listed that one as “.5” only, because while sometimes “looking before leaping” is an asset, other times she’d like to throw caution to the wind.)
Are you the life of the party or are you more of a quiet presence?
If you’re an introvert, which one of Beth’s gifts hits home with you?
If you’re an extrovert, which one puzzles you?
* * *
Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Introspection. Definitely. I could never understand growing up and it’s only recently that I have even begun and have placed value on it. This was nice. Thanks for sharing.
It is nice when we start to appreciate introversion in ourselves. Sometimes I do; sometimes I don’t. 🙂 I’m still growing into acceptance of it.
Oh, boy! This sounds so good! It took me a long time to realize I’m an introvert, but I think it was just because I avoided so many things 😉
I’m learning to be grateful for how God made me while still stepping a bit outside my comfort zone sometimes. (key word is LEARNING)
Thanks for sharing this!
Learning is the appropriate word for me, too, Rebecca. I’ve known for a long time that I’m an introvert, but I’m still learning to be grateful for it. I want to trust that God knew exactly what he was doing when he made me this way.
Oh, I feel this to my very bones, Lisa.
And I want to lean into the close listening that we introverts are so skilled for, which means no panicking in the moment when there’s a pause and the temptation is to rush in and fill it instead of processing what’s already been said.
Such wisdom in this, Michele: “no panicking in the moment when there’s a pause.” That’s so hard to do. Even the tiniest silences can seem so awkward, but not rushing to fill them can produce beautiful rewards in relationships and in understanding.
Good morning, Lisa.
It can be difficult to “extrovert” all day when your designed as an introvert. I love refueling with quiet introspection and self-contained activity at home.
Blessings,
Tammy
I agree with you, Tammy. Rarely can any of us be a total introvert in our daily lives all day, so we have to learn how to refuel when we can!
I’m an introverted extrovert,
a private public chap,
my mission plan is to subvert
those who’d rather nap.
I’ll ride a horse up marble stairs,
enter the ballroom waving a sword,
become gleeful center of all the stares,
and depart without a word.
I let my actions speak for me
since they are loosely reined,
and I won’t stand on pedantry
when fun is thus ordained.
And the reason I’m not dead, I bet
is that God’s not hid the breakables yet.
Your poetry always makes me smile, Andrew. It reveals your wit and succinct choice of words. 🙂
Great post on this topic! As a counselor that has studied assessment tools on personality types, I enjoy hearing another thought on the subject. I am an extrovert, but am not at the end of the continuum and have developed a love and enjoyment in my “recessive” introverted end of the continuum.
I think we sometimes miss that we ALL fall somewhere on a continuum between extroversion and introversion. How far to either end is what shows us the public face most people think we are. They often miss that the other part of the continuum in us is there as well, but not developed to the same degree. Additionally, we miss some things if we only look at this one aspect of the personality type. Looking at all other areas helps us see more clearly.
I MOST enjoy the introverts in my life. That includes my husband and several others including a granddaughter and grandson. It is with introverts that I enjoy the deepest conversations and find the best companionship. Sometimes I think introverts get a bad rap as the uneducated think it means they don’t like people and fail to understand that prefer them in smaller doses and amounts. (Extraverts can get a bad rap as well because too many assume we all like big crowds and lots of activity and people all the time.)
Thanks for the list…a great one!
Thanks for adding your wise words to the conversation, Pam. We do need to remember that this is a continuum, not a black and white point on opposite extremes. When I take tests, I fall more to the introvert side, but not to an extreme. There are times I wish I had more extrovert in me, to be honest, but I think it’s because our society appears to be set up more for extroverted behavior than introverted. (?)
Thanks also for sharing about your enjoyment of the introverts in your life. That’s a special list!
Well, as you know, I identify with much of this. I think I identify most with 2, 5, and 7. I thought the “.5” was odd til I got to the last point. I agree, the need to process things from every angle keeps us safe from leaping before looking. But it can be a disadvantage when we’re supposed to leap but keep coming up with reasons not to (a la Moses).
Yes, I was curious about the .5, too. 🙂 But I understand and agree as well. My natural tendency is to hold back, but sometimes leaping is what God calls me to do and I can be too hesistant in those situations.
LOL Oh, Lisa! This is GREAT! You’ve described me to a tee. The more I read, the more I said, ” ME TOO, ME TOO!” #8 Introverts thrive online. I think being an introvert makes us better “online” kind of people. Also, in social settings, I always position myself next to the most talkative person. Then, all you have to do is listen. I’m very good at listening. 🙂 Thanks for this post and the perspective. I love your points.
Pinned.
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
I so relate to you, Patsy. I’ve noticed through the years that I must attract very talkative friends. 🙂 It’s possibly because I sometimes listen more than I talk, and they sometimes talk more than they listen. ha. We balance each other out. Thanks for sharing.
I think I’m an ambivert (a combination of the 2)
You’re in the sweet spot, Nylse. 🙂 I think an ambivert is a lovely position to be.
This is a great post! It took me a while to see, but there are definitely benefits to being an introvert. I think the ability to spend time alone is huge. I never realised how much others struggle with that. And I realised it can be helpful from a faith point-of-view. People who thrive on large worship gatherings/ festivals sometimes really struggle to connect with God by themselves or in a smaller setting, whereas while I enjoy the larger gatherings sometimes, it is a relief to get back to the quiet.
Yes! I didn’t realize for a long time either that some people struggle to be alone. It would never cross my mind. But through the years of talking with extroverted friends (and my spouse!), I’ve discovered they don’t have this pull towards solitude like I do. Thankfully I can still enjoy large group gatherings, too, but at the end of the day, I love a quiet ending. 🙂
Lisa, I’m a dyed-in-the-wool introvert – I love my alone time and quiet time. Yet, I can do very well in an extroverted setting (I used to teach middle school), but only for the necessary period of time. After that? Well, I’m pretty much exhausted by the effort.
Thanks for another great book recommendation!
Blessings!
I hear you, Martha. I used to have to work hard to convince my husband that I am indeed an introvert because I can function as an extrovert as needed. But it drains me. So I totally relate to what you’re saying. It can be exhausting pulling out our extroverted side, whereas introversion comes so easily.
I don’t know, Lisa…by looking at the comments, I think the party may sometimes start when you arrive. Look at all the conversation you have started with this post! In my mind an extrovert is not necessarily the life of the party, but often quite the opposite. An extrovert is often one who puts the desires, stories, and wishes of others before his/her own. I see that in you. I read your comments and they always are full of insight. I understand the need for alone time and introspection, but you are a people person. Your interest in others shows in your kindness and compassion.
Aw, what a sweet comment, Laurie! I so appreciate your kind words. And I also appreciate your perspective on extroverts putting others before themselves. I’ve seen that SO many times with my extroverted husband and friends. They very easily try to meet the needs of others in ways that I am slow to even think about, much less act upon. 🙂
All of the above characteristics accurately describe me. Like seriously, help!! ?
I enjoy my solitude, I cancel outings at the last minute.
Like, I’m comfortable with me.
This has its disadvantages in a new city because it means I’ve been slow in meeting and making new friends.
Ooh, yes it would be hard to be an introvert in a new city. 🙁 Thankfully I’ve lived basically in the same area for years so I don’t have to push too hard to make new friends because I have plenty of old friends here. But when I switched churches a few years back, I felt like I had moved to a new city. I loved the new church but it was more challenging to create new relationships, especially now that my kids are grown and out of the house. Sometimes kids make it easier. Blessings to you, Betty, as you make new friends!
Oh my goodness is this an encouraging list! I’m an introvert with a quiet presence, too. I especially hear you on your point about being done with hours of socializing to go. Sometimes it saddens me when I want to enjoy all the time with people but get worn out quickly. I don’t tend to see introversion as something to celebrate, but this gave a little positive perspective. : ) Thanks for sharing!
I’m with you, Bethany. I have a hard time seeing introversion as something to celebrate, so this list was good for me to see. We all need affirmation from time to time that we’re normal after all. 🙂
As an introvert, I always focus on how I lack socially in comparison with those around me. I have a big family, and large groups are hard, so I’m judged. I related to every one of the strengths you listed. It’s so refreshing to see my perceived faults as assets! Thank you!
Yes, it’s nice to recategorize what we often consider deficits as assets instead. 🙂 It’s easy to compare ourselves to others who socialize so easily, but we bring our own gifts to the party, even though they may be quieter ones. Thanks for sharing, Valerie.
As we have shared in the past, we both are introverts. I like her list especially the quiet energy – unique way to describe this trait. And I giggled at self-contained. Never considered myself that way before. LOL
I liked the phrase “quiet energy” too. 🙂 Makes us sound more powerful than we sometimes feel. ha.
As an introvert, I can relate to everything on the list. I realize that in some situations (often work) introverts get admonished for being too aloof. But as an only child raised by introvert parents, I never let these admonishments bother me too much. The extroverts are just puzzled by our need for calm in the same way I can’t imagine actually wanting to be around large groups of people.
It sounds like you’re quite comfortable being an introvert. That’s always refreshing to hear. I am, too, for the most part, but there are occasions where I wish I had that extrovert energy when life gets real busy.
I appreciate all kinds of people, but the introverts probably the most. It seems to me that at the core of the introvert is soul at peace in humility.
You know I believe it’s the most important trait a person can have. It is the beautiful trait.
I think most of us want what we don’t have or at least what others have that looks like it comes to them easily. I’ve fought my whole life to be like that…
I usually lose!?
You’ve got me thinking now, Floyd…I’d like to see a study on how contentment relates to humility. There may be a strong connection there that I’ve not considered before. I’m with you that humility is the top virtue. Jesus embodied it the best!