Still Deciding What to Buy? You’re Not Alone
The Struggle of Choosing the Right Gift
I’m not ready for Christmas yet.
My house looks ready—the tree is lit, the stockings are hung, the mantel is decorated—but under the tree, there’s not much.
The hardest part for me isn’t buying gifts—it’s deciding what to buy.
Just yesterday, I spent awhile searching online for the right gift for someone I love. I found what I thought they’d want. Then I saw the shipping fees. Outrageous. I clicked away, pleased that the company wouldn’t get my money.
But also displeased that I’m no closer to having the gift to give.
That moment, as silly as it sounds, is an apt metaphor for my gift-giving struggle: I think of something, but then I talk myself out of it.
The Myth of the Perfect Gift
My desire is to find the perfect gift for each person. The one thing that they wouldn’t buy for themselves, but that they’ve been wanting.
But there is no perfect gift. Not really. And even if there were, it would only be perfect for a season. The new always wears off, the excitement fades away, and the object eventually becomes, well, just another object.
Finding Joy in Imperfection
Still, I hope the gifts I give are received with my good intentions. Used and enjoyed. I hope they bring a moment of joy, however fleeting. I try to remind myself that even if the thought counts more than the item itself, the item can still carry joy—and isn’t that what we want for those we care about?
I’ve never felt like a great gift-giver. Maybe it’s because I’m a minimalist at heart.
I talk myself out of buying things for me all the time because…Do I really need that thing, after all? Why would I want more clutter? And do I want to be responsible for adding more junk to the landfill one day?
Letting Yourself Off the Hook This Christmas
So every Christmas I sit with this tension. I have a desire to give, yet a fear of getting it “wrong.”
I want to let myself off the hook these remaining two weeks before Christmas. I’ll wrap the gifts I’ve already bought, hope the gifts I’ve ordered will come in soon (!), and finish shopping for things that might put a smile on someone’s face at least for a moment, even if not forever. The moment is enough.
And maybe that thought actually does count for quite a lot.
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Related reading:
- Don’t Compare; Just Create
I went to a unique competition last night to watch Barry. But was it about comparing or creating? - Progress Over Perfection: Lessons from a Squeaky Floor
Renovations (and a squeaky floor) reminded me that life isn’t flawless—and it doesn’t have to be. Discover why progress matters more than perfection. - Let Go of This to Make Quicker Decisions
Want to make quicker decisions? Let go of this and you will. - 5 Ways to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
It’s normal to get our hopes up, but it’s unhealthy to cling too tightly to results out of our control.
- The Power of Ripples: One Word That Carried Me All Year Long
- My Top 10 Favorite Books of 2025: Lessons on Life, Loss, and Curiosity
Since Danny’s birthday is on December 19, we don’t exchange Christmas gifts, but I always try to get him something unique and special that he won’t order for himself, but is something he can use. I’ll let you know if I struck out this season or made a home run. Blessings, Lisa!
Yes, do let us know if your gift is a winner, Martha! Although I’m sure Danny will say it is, regardless. 🙂
I find it depends on the person. My oldest daughter is fun and easy to buy for and I almost can buy too much for. Now my hubby is very hard to buy for and we have too much already and just buy what we need as we need it so surprises and gift buying is difficult. I guess the element of surprise is what I like too. Merry Christmas, dear Lisa!!
I agree, Jean. Some people are so easy to buy for. And others so hard. Maybe I’m biased, but I have an easier time buying for females than males; maybe it’s the opposite for men? My husband and I never exchange gifts for birthdays but we will have at least one thing for each other under the Christmas tree, usually something practical. 🙂
I definitely find that some people are so easy to shop for and others are really hard. I tend to talk myself out of spending money a lot of the time especially for
“larger” purchases…. so basically anything over $20! LOL. My husband teases me for it all the time.
I hear you about “anything over $20” feeling like a large purchase, Joanne. 🙂 I guess that could be considered a positive that we don’t throw away money very easily. ha. Thankfully most of the books I read are library books so I don’t have to spend money there.
Yes! Our library saves me hundreds each year.
Same! If I had to actually buy every book I read, we’d be broke! 🙂
I really struggled with paralysis of finding the “perfect gift” when the children were younger, Lisa. It’s easier now that everyone is older and married. Our family draws names for the adults at Christmas (we give a gift to each grandchild). Since each couple is buying only for one other adult couple ($50 limit), we’re pretty honest about what we want or need (newlyweds ask for a vacuum cleaner, kitchen organizers, etc.). My husband and I wanted a restaurant gift certificate, but my daughter wanted to buy a physical gift, so I shared that we were pondering a small table for the backyard. We went to FB marketplace and found a little table with two chairs in a small town near her. Woohoo! Sometimes it’s considering the giver as well as the receiver. 🙂