Honestly, We’re Not Very Good People. Here’s Why.
Oh, Pride!
“We desperately want to be a good person in our own eyes, and we will rearrange everything to make it happen.”
– Brant Hansen
What would happen if we just admitted it: we’re not very good people.
We may want to be to be good. We may try real hard to be. But it’s actually much harder than it looks to be a really good person.
And oddly enough, one giant obstacle to our being good is to think we already are.
It’s called Self-Righteousness.
Pride is one of the things that Jesus warns us against again and again. Yet we often remain addicted to it. (I speak from experience.)
Pride disqualifies us from joining the spiritually elite.
Biases that Bind
“Being unaware of how unaware we are is merely one way to be wrong. It’s just one of the many options in our Tool Belt of Wrong.”
That’s what Brant Hansen says in his book, The Truth About Us: The Very Good News About How Very Bad We Are.
We can fool ourselves in many ways into thinking we’re better than we are. We may not be familiar with the nomenclature of every bias, but we are very familiar with the practice of them.
Here are a few biases that keep us from being better people.
• Confirmation Bias
We want our decisions to be right. So we actively seek out information to support our own views and reject information that contradicts ours.
• Hostile Attribution Bias
We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, but we assume the worst motives in others.
• Actor-Observer Bias
When I mess up, it’s because of external circumstances. When you mess up, it’s because of who you are.
We can conjure up hundreds of recognized cognitive biases to assure that we’re one of the “Good People” and others are the the “Bad People.” Brant says we each have our very own PR firm—and that we should fire them.
“We need to become more aware of how we think, because our thought processes are skewed. Our reasoning is a tool, and it’s not the precise, calculating, impartial tool we like to think it is. Every waking moment, it’s put to work to defend us and our conception of our good selves.”
That’s the bad news.
Stop Defending Your Goodness
But the good news trumps it.
When we admit, “I am not a good person,” we no longer have to protect our egos or justify our actions or be judgmental of others. That is a blessing from God.
“If we begin to understand God’s blessing over us, we can be freed from so much of this. There’s simply no longer any need to defend our supposed goodness.”
Trusting in Jesus’s goodness instead of our own brings rest. It only requires laying down our pride.
“According to Jesus, there are no good people, only humble people and proud people. He favors the humble and opposes the proud.”
When we stop using our energy to defend ourselves, from trying to prove we’re right, to up our moral ranking, we can accept that we are “loved by Someone who already knows the truth about us.”
“Our value to God isn’t determined by our goodness at all. He loves us because that’s what he does. He loves. Yes, I’ve heard that a thousand times, and maybe you have too. But it’s only when I begin to believe it that I can not only admit I’m not a ‘good person’ but do it joyfully, knowing my value isn’t attached to my morality.”
We’ve received quite a break. The ultimate break. It’s only when we realize we’ll never meet the mark of perfection that we realize we don’t have to. Brant quotes Philip Yancey:
“Ask people what they must do to get to heaven and most reply, ‘Be good.’ Jesus’ stories contradict that answer. All we must do is cry, ‘Help!’”
– Philip Yancey
Anyone with an attitude of moral superiority never made a good impression on Jesus. Including us. Our claims of, “But at least I don’t…” don’t get anywhere with him. But dependence on him does.
“Dependence isn’t weakness. The denial of our dependence is.”
Humility frees us to lean on God instead of our own self-righteousness.
In the last chapter of The Truth About Us, Brant says this about himself. Maybe we can each substitute our own name for his.
“So, yes, I’m Brant Hansen, and I’m not a good person. I seem like a good guy, maybe, but you don’t really know me. You don’t know my thoughts. You don’t know all my real motives, and you know what? Neither do I. But I’m convinced the only one who really knows me loves me more than anyone else. More than I can imagine. It’s a big relief.”
I’ve been spiritually challenged by every Brant Hansen book I’ve read. The Truth About Us is no exception. My thanks to Net Galley for the review copy.
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Wow, Lisa! This sounds like another awesome read. Thank you!
Lisa, so true. Until we admit we are not good people, we will spend so much energy and time trying to keep up the appearances of being a good person. Those closest to us (and God) already know the truth, and still love us. And we can look around and see that those we love are not really good people, and yet we still love them. Pride is once again our stumbling block. Pride keeps us from popping our illusion. And then by whose standards are we talking about. According to ours we may be pretty good. According to someone else’s not so good. And then there is God’s standard. Which we always fall short of. But hey, that’s okay. He doesn’t beat us up or kick us to the back of the line. He offers grace, mercy, love, acceptance, and even carries our burdens. And that is the best freedom. So yes, I’m Theresa and I’m not a very good person. And I’m okay with that. And despite this, God loves me, and so do a bunch of people.
This reminds me of a quote from Prince Caspian by C. S. Lewis: “’You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve,’ said Aslan. ‘And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth.’”
Pride is so subtle and deceptive, and takes many different forms – but to keep surrendering our all to God and to depend on Him is the only way. Thank you.
Lisa, thanks for the review. I read Brant’s first book but missed his second. This one sounds like I need to read it. I appreciate your review.
This book looks good.
Sounds like a wonderful book, Lisa. That confirmation bias…ooooh…I see myself there. I still need to work on humility. Pride sneaks up on you!
wow this sounds so interesting and challenging to read. I grimaced when reading about pride – got my feelings hurts several times this week and have been pretty discouraged – yes my ego and pride are the culprits. And this sentence you included: “Dependence isn’t weakness. The denial of our dependence is.” So true. For a long time I claimed ( and was proud – there goes my pride again) of how independent I was. I have learned in this second half of life that that strength really isn’t a strength at all, more a limitation. Interesting isn’t it what helped us in younger years, how we outgrown it in later ones. Thanks Lisa for a good read tonight.
Reading again and again that I’m not a good person is repelling at first, until the truth smacks you. I’m not a good person. Then reading that we don’t have to try to be (this can be dangerous because we can’t hit the mark anyway), and that we should be crying HELP instead of anything else. This is what we read and study in God’s word, but never seem to believe about ourselves…Hmm…I might just have to get this book, Lisa. Thanks for a great review.