Lisa notes

Worship different

By LisaNotes July 31, 2013 Church, Encouragement, Prayer, Worship 15 Comments

The praise song was going well. The lyrics, the music, the voices were ushering in a quiet atmosphere of worship to the Father.

But that was about to change.

And I didn’t know what to do.

With my old church, one man up front would lead the singing. He’d tell us what song number to turn to in the hymnal or project the words on the big screen in front of us. We’d all (hopefully) pay attention and sing along with him, word for word in sync. Then we’d wait for the next song, and all sing those words together. When the song ended, we sat silently and passively waited for the next item on the agenda.

But now with my new church, I was discovering things were going to be different.

While we do still all sing together, the worship leader doesn’t necessarily shut down the praise when the song ends. Sometimes he invites us to keep it going. But instead of feeding us lyrics from someone else, we’re encouraged to use our own words.

Out loud.

Right then.

Okaaay.

The first time, it caught me off guard. I just stood there, maybe eyes closed, maybe peeking, and didn’t say anything aloud. I listened as the rumblings around me grew. Never loud or raucous, but constant and sincere. I could make out words like “Thank you” and “Jesus” and “Father” from individual worshipers giving praise with their own words.

After a few minutes, the band would move into the next song and corporate worship would resume. And I’d be back in my comfort zone.

A few Sundays of this went by. Then I decided to give it a try.

And oh my. God got my attention.

This new thing helped. My mind wandered less. I tuned out distracting thoughts. I focused more on what Jesus meant to me personally when I was pumping original words from my heart to my mouth.

It was just a small change—a shift from silent prayer to spoken prayer—and just for a few minutes, but it was a good change. A personal change.

So Sundays are a little noisier now. But that’s okay. I’m no longer awkward with moments of praying aloud with everyone else. I’ve dropped the lie that it would only draw attention to myself, and discovered that it draws my own attention to God instead.

May we never be too old to learn new things, too rigid to embrace change, too comfortable to try different.

Growing in worship is worth it all.

* * *

Have you changed any spiritual habits lately?

When You’re Not Sure

By LisaNotes July 29, 2013 Encouragement, Trust 30 Comments

“Sometimes life calls us to make a 100% commitment to something about which we are 51% sure.”
– Albert Camus

“You decide. I don’t care.”

“No, I don’t care either. You decide.”

We were having the conversation. Again. That one. When neither of us cares enough to make a decision. Or wants to invest energy to think about it. Or wants to be blamed if it turns out bad.

Usually it’s over trivial things. Which restaurant to go to. Whether to get the oil changed this week or next. Or, this time, which seats to choose for the Aaron Shust concert.

(I confess I used to toss the final throw back to my husband with this clincher—“You’re the man.” He hates when I do that. I understand. I’m trying to break the habit.)

Making decisions, even small ones, can be taxing. Especially when we don’t have all the information needed to do it.

If we choose row 6, will a family of giants come sit in row 5? Would an aisle seat be better for Jenna to take photos? Maybe the balcony has better acoustics than the floor seating.

But we can’t always wait for 100% clarity.

Including on matters of faith.

Let’s stop being scared of being wrong.

We all have moments we wonder, “What if I’m wrong on this?” And we do need to think things through.

But if we wait until we’re totally, absolutely, positively sure that we’re right, we’ll miss opportunities to do good. God may move his work somewhere else, to someone else more willing to take a leap of faith.

Even if we make a poor decision, isn’t his grace rich enough to redeem that too?

If in doubt, err on the side of grace. For love.
Not on the side of legalism. Out of fear.

Throw yourself on God’s mercy. It has, it is, and it will cover you.

Our seats at the concert? They turned out to be great ones for worshiping alongside Aaron Shust. And I don’t even remember who made the decision.

* * *

Book review: Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me

By LisaNotes July 26, 2013 Book reviews 9 Comments

Our parents are mysteries to us. No matter how close we think we are to them, we cannot know the content of their hearts.

We don’t know the disappointments, or the scars and regret that wake them in the night, or the moments for which they wish they could get a do-over.

I’m not persuaded we should know them better than that.
– Ian Morgan Cron

A story beautifully told captures me every time. Even a story pocked with such sad spots.

Ian Morgan Cron tells such a story.
It’s his own.
It’s Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me: A memoir…of sorts.

He starts toward the end, then weaves you back and forth in time from his family’s early Camelot years until times that made me want to cry.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who have dimmers and those who have on-off switches.

. . . My four years at Bowdoin confirmed that when it came to partying, or anything else, I was an on-off switch.

His father was a harsh alcoholic and the enigma of his presence affects Ian in multiple layers of his story. It never reads as a fairy tale at any point along the way, but there is a redemptive quality that makes you glad you read it by the time it’s over.

I was spiritually tone-deaf, but God still found ways to speak to me.

But be warned—it does leave a sad place in your heart, despite good things that happen later. It’s one thing to watch movies or read fictitious tales of heartache, but to know these things really happen, that’s another matter.

Yet it’s stories like these that also need to be told, not just the frilly happy ones, because in stories like these, we understand how powerful our God really is, to heal and rebuild and bring dead things back to life.

Dan uncrossed his legs. “I want to sit quietly for a moment to honor the story you’ve just told. It was sacred,” he said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

. . . “What’s happening to me?” I said. I couldn’t leave without knowing.

. . . “You’re waking up.”

I want to honor this story, too.

* * *

My thanks to BookSneeze
for the review copy of this book

It’s a high touch position

By LisaNotes July 24, 2013 Community, Encouragement, My stories 25 Comments

The laundry door cracked open.

I could see her inside tenderly folding each piece of clothing more gingerly than I fold my own family’s clothes. When she had put all in the basket, she tiptoed out of the room, not disturbing the concert in progress in the activity room.

It’s a high touch position.
No need to apply if you’re afraid to get close.

It’s been a few years ago but I still remember it clearly. I was only there that day as a spectator, to hear my daughter and my father-in-law sing with their Butterbean Band. They were on a nursing home tour. This particular facility housed a family friend so I had double reasons to attend the day’s performance.

I can’t help but watch the workers when I visit homes like this for the elderly and disabled.

It may be the patients and family who pay the money, but it’s the everyday-worker who keeps things humming.

It’s the nurse who makes rounds with her little cup of pills specific to each resident.
It’s the aide who pushes the elderly gentleman’s wheelchair into line so he can listen to the band with the gathering crowd.
It’s the activity director who breezes in and out to joke with the residents, distributing hugs, and making sure everyone is having a good time.

And it’s the young woman who goes into each room, empties individual hampers, washes and dries and separates each article of clothing, then tiptoes back into rooms to return the items to drawers and closets where they belong.

You can’t hold down these jobs without using your hands—to move, to work, to love. Without the human touch, it’d be an empty place.

To touch hearts, use your hands.

* * *

[Also remembering the workers a few years ago whose hands took such sweet care of my own mama in her last few months with Alzheimer’s. Angels, each one.]

How can you use your hands today to touch a heart? Share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

What’s on your nightstand? July ‘13

By LisaNotes July 23, 2013 Books I Recommend 24 Comments

On the 4th Tuesday of each month, we share what we’re reading. Here’s what I’ve been into.

Just started

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me
A Memoir…of Sorts
by Ian Morgon Cron

[My review here] Sad at times, but a very interesting story of Ian being raised by an alcoholic dad who also worked for the CIA. As I near the end of the book, I’m seeing how Jesus will have the biggest influence of all in his life.

Grace Walk
by Steve McVey

Because I absolutely loved his book 52 Lies Heard in Church Every Sunday, I’m dipping back to an older book of his, also good, on how we need to drop the legalism and accept the free gift of God’s grace.

“For a long time I thought that to experience success in my Christian life, I had to work harder. But I discovered that the key to enjoying success is not strenuous work, but spiritual rest.” – Steve McVey

God’s Favorite Place on Earth
by Frank Viola

When Jesus was on earth, he was rejected in many towns. But one place we never read of his rejection was in the town of Bethany, home to Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Viola centers his book around events in that town, drawing in principles for us as well to love more and struggle less.

Atlas Shrugged
by Ayn Rand

I’m a little scared of this novel—the font is tiny and yet it’s still over 1,000 pages. I’m 50 pages in and so far, so good. I’ll stick with it for now (unless you overwhelmingly tell me it’s a waste of time!), even though I have no idea what it’s supposed to be about (and no, I didn’t see the movie or even previews for the movie).

Still reading

Understanding Jesus
A Guide to His Life and Times
by Stephen M. Miller

Still working through the life of Jesus in this book. I’m up to his last days before the crucifixion. It includes some helpful historical information that I wasn’t aware of as well as spiritual insights from the author.

“Jesus recognized the promise as genuine. So he replied, “Salvation has come to this home today” (Luke 19:9). It wasn’t Zacchaeus’ vow that produced salvation. It was salvation that produced the vow. Contact with Jesus changed the tax collector. The tin man found a heart.” – Stephen M. Miller

Finished from June’s nightstand

Occupy Spirituality
A Radical Vision for a New Generation
by Adam Bucko and Matthew Fox

[My review here] Mixed feelings about this one. It’s a dialogue between the two authors—a 72-year-old priest and a 37-year-old mentor to homeless youth (among other things), centering around their own lives and their work in “sacred activism.” It has value, but you have to weed through a lot of words to uncover it. (Available to the public on September 3, so hopefully it’ll get some tighter editing before the final printing.)

Messy Spirituality
by Mike Yoconelli

It’s small but full of stories and excellent commentary on how Christianity isn’t always the clean, neat progression of growth that we’d like it to be. (Sometimes I just like the feel of a book in my hands, too; this was one of those.)

Dancing Priest
by Glynn Young

A sweet story by a fellow-blogger. The story is about an Olympic cyclist turned priest and his mission in the world, including his romance with a non-believing American student. It is a novel including faith, but it doesn’t preach at you. I enjoyed it.

Leaving Church
A Memoir of Faith
by Barbara Brown Taylor

Love this one! Taylor is refreshingly honest but also purposeful in the stories she shares about her journey to becoming a “successful” Episcopal priest and then her decision a few years later to step down from it.

“I was neither as good as I hoped I might be nor as bad as I feared. I was simply another of God’s beggars, grateful to have found my way into the pool.” – Barbara Brown Taylor

Spy the Lie
Three Former CIA Officers Reveal Their Secrets to Unlocking Deception
by Philip Houston

So interesting! I don’t plan on becoming a human lie detector, but this information was very enlightening. Here are a few of the obstacles that make us gullible to believing lies: the belief that people will not lie to you; reliance on behavioral myths; complexities of communication; and our inescapable biases.

Help Thanks Wow
Three Essential Prayers
by Anne Lamott

One of my favorite authors on one of my favorite subjects. A short, easy-to-read book that will inspire you to pray more often and more sincerely.

“Quiet, deep breath after any prayer is another form of Amen.” – Anne Lamott

Paperless Home Organization
by Mystie Winckler

Yes, it is paperless itself—I read it on my Kindle—and it’s practical. It encourages you to rely on Evernote (I do, more and more), Google Calendar, and Remember the Milk (I need to learn it). I’m all about digital and using the cloud, and so is this book. A useful resource.

* * *

What’s a good book you are reading now or recently finished?

My books on Goodreads
More nightstands

Don’t be invisible

By LisaNotes July 22, 2013 Encouragement 29 Comments

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

If I can’t do it well (whatever it is), I’d rather you not watch.

But if I wait until I get it perfect, you may never see it at all.

When Barbara Brown Taylor was stepping into a more public preaching role in her church, she recalled this advice below. I say let’s take it for ourselves in our everyday lives.

As my beloved rector had told me in seminary, being ordained is not about serving God perfectly but about serving God visibly, allowing other people to learn whatever they can from watching you rise and fall.

“You probably won’t be much worse than other people,” he said, ”and you certainly won’t be any better, but you will have to let people look at you. You will have to let them see you as you are.”
– Barbara Brown Taylor, Leaving Church

That’s not to say let’s be hypocrites and do our works just to be seen by men (Matthew 6:1-2).

But let’s also not keep God our private little secret, hidden away until we can unveil him with the perfect ta-da ! moment.

Be a light for other people in your humanity to point them to God in his divinity (Matthew 5:14-16).

Be imperfect. Take the insult. Rest in your weakness.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do—the strongest, the most loving—is just be who you are.

Honor your Creator.
Be visible.
Be you.

Let him be God.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:10

* * *

Is it hard for you to let go of perfectionism? In what areas have you succeeded?