How to Grow a Long Joyspan: Why Older Can Truly Mean Better
Do you know Sister Jean?
I first discovered Sister Jean in 2018 as I was watching March Madness, the annual NCAA Division I men’s basketball tournament.
At 98 years old, she was cheering on her favorite team, Loyola University Chicago, as they reached the semifinals as a Cinderella Final Four team (they later lost to Michigan). As the team chaplain, she knew the players by name, led them in pregame prayers, and knew the scoop on their opponents.
I watched for Sister Jean on TV every year after that.
But last week on October 9, 2025, Sister Jean died. She was 106 years old. What an amazing life she had lived.
Maybe you have someone in your family like Sister Jean.
Or maybe you also know someone who is older but instead of being the life of the party, they are the grouchy one.
This is my grandmother who lived another 10 years after this photo, dying at 97 years old. (She was never grumpy around me.)
As we age, none of us want to become the grumpy older person; we’d rather be a Sister Jean. But how do we become that way?
If the question intrigues you, you might enjoy Dr. Kerry Burnight’s new book Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half as much as I did.
Burnight, known as “America’s Gerontologist,” writes with warmth and humor. Her well-researched message is simple yet profound: we don’t want to just live long (lifespan) or even just remain healthy (healthspan); what we really want is to enjoy living however long we have (joyspan).
Challenging the Anti-Aging Industry
You already know that our culture is obsessed with youth. It’s hard to find a pleasant birthday card to give an older person that isn’t a lewd joke about being over the hill. In advertising, we’re surrounded by products that promise to reverse aging. They play into our fears of getting older.
And often it works.
To counter that, Burnight says:
“People spend their lives trying not to age, trying not to die. Why not try to live instead?”
In her view, joy comes not from erasing your wrinkles but from nurturing your “ageless qualities,” like kindness, curiosity, humor, and resilience.
Redefining Aging: From Fear to Fulfillment
Joyspan again and again reinforces the idea of living better, not just longer. Burnight says that joy in later life isn’t accidental—it’s an “inside job.”
She outlines four practical actions that people with long joyspans consistently take:
1. Grow
Growth might mean learning a new skill.
2. Connect
Connection could be as simple as making time for old friends—or finding new ones of different ages.
3. Adapt
Adaptation helps you meet life’s challenges with flexibility
4. Give
Giving feeds your sense of purpose.
The book is full of great suggestions under each category for practicing these skills.
The Gifts of Growing Older
Your body will decline as you age. There’s no denying that. But Joyspan points out other things that actually strengthen over time:
- emotional stability,
- spiritual depth,
- problem-solving wisdom,
- and the freedom of not caring as much what other people think about you.
Burnight says science backs this up—studies show older adults often experience greater well-being and emotional balance than younger adults.
This is my daughter, me, my mother, my grandfather, and my great-grandmother, who lived to be over 100. She was very pleasant, active, and a joy to be around until the end.
Love as the Final Word
But to me, the book’s most powerful truth might be this one: love endures. Even when your body and health fade, your capacity to love—to mentor, to comfort, to show up in whatever ways you can—lives on.
To grow that direction for later, though, start living that way now. Whatever your age, be intentional to live with joy, purpose, and connection, even alongside life’s sorrows that are also bound to come.
Most of us won’t be traveling to basketball games at 98 years old like Sister Jean did. And we probably won’t live to be 106.
But like Sister Jean, we can hopefully make our older years as meaningful and joyful as possible.
Perhaps our best days aren’t behind us. They may still be ahead.
Are you one and/or do you have joyful older people in your family?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
My thanks to NetGalley for the review copy of Joyspan
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Aging certainly isn’t for sissies, Lisa, but with the right attitudes toward life and joy, it can truly be the golden years. I have such fond memories of my own grandparents who had that attitude of joy in their hearts. It’s sad that so many in our society don’t value our elders and don’t see the wisdom and kindness of their hearts. This sounds like a fantastic read, my friend, and since I’m now at the ripe old age of 70, could be right up my alley. Blessings!
I know what you mean, Martha. When I was a kid, we really valued the elderly. We let them go first in line to eat, etc. But by the time I reached adulthood, we’d switched to prioritizing the little ones first in line, etc. 😉 We greatly undervalue the wisdom of those older than us, to our own detriment.
The grandparents we had as children left a joy-filled legacy that compels us to want to do the same for our grandchildren. And their joy becomes our joy. “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25).
That’s beautiful that you have such good memories of your grandparents, Nancy. I didn’t know my grandparents really well, but they were always very good to me and I’m so grateful for that!
Beautifully written…and so very true. Hoping the legacy we leave our grandchildren will carry on to them being loving grandparents in their day.
I agree, Sandy! That’s a beautiful ripple effect that I hope can travel on and on. My parents and my in-laws were such good grandparents to my own children that it set a high bar for me to want to follow in my own grandparenting years now.
Interesting that this book appears on my radar. Seniors’ Center Without Walls, is a free phone-based program that offers a variety of interactive health & well=being information sessions for 55+ adults living in Alberta. Today I’m starting a series called Finding Your Joy. I feel somewhat jaded in my 7th decade – been there, done that & bought the tshirts. Like Marie Kondo advises, I’m looking for my joy to be sparked.
Finding Your Joy sounds like a great series. And it would go perfectly with this book Joyspan! 🙂 I thoroughly enjoyed the book for any age person actually. I’ll turn 63 this year and I’m trying to learn more about aging with grace as I ease into it.
well this is who i want to be in the seasons ahead. filled with joy, hope, energy, and far more interested in others than my own ailments and fears.
i’m going to check out this book, Lisa. literally.
my family thanks you.
I have a very strong hunch that you already are living this way with joy and love, Linda! This really is a good book; my family will likely want me to revisit it a few times as I age too. 🙂
One of my best friends is 96 years old. Or maybe I should say 96 years young. I have mixed feelings about living to a ripe old age, but if I end up doing that, I hope I can do it as well as my friend.
Wow, 96 – that is amazing, Michele! How lovely to have a friend who is built up years and years of wisdom. I doubt I’ll ever see 96 but whatever age I reach, I hope I’ll not outlive my joy.
This book is on my wait list from the library and I am looking forward to reading it. Thanks for the suggestions. You always have great finds! I just offered a devotion about Sister Jean to the church council last week and loved it coming here today and reading once again about her. What a lady and what a legacy!
Oh, how lovely, Jean, that you know about Sister Jean too! Such a long life she had. I really can’t even imagine living to that age. But if I do, I hope I’ll still be as active and loving as she was. I hope you’ll enjoy Joyspan as much as I did. It really is inspirational.
Lisa, this is awesome! nowadays for me I feel older is better. I feel aging is both an honor and a privilege granted by God. Aging is honored in Scripture so I want to embrace that as I age. I’ve got to tell you how much I love listening to elderly people’s stories, no matter how many times they’ve told me the same story.
Visiting today from Joanne’s
I’m sure you are a blessing to the elderly as you listen to their stories, Paula. What a gift. My husband is really good at that; he can sit with his parents and listen to the same stories again and again and still ask them such great questions to keep the stories coming. We have so much to learn from those who have been around the sun more times than we have!
My son ( a college women’s basketball coach) and I have admired Sister Jean for years. It was amazing to see how she encouraged the players and how they hung onto her words. We were saddened to hear of her passing. May we live in the same manner – with joy, encouraging those around us, and love. I appreciate the book recommendation!
Oh, I’m so glad you know of Sister Jean too! And I didn’t know your son was a woman’s basketball coach. I’m sure those who really knew Sister Jean will miss her so much. March Madness will be a little less bright this year without her presence.
This sounds like a very encouraging book, Lisa … so glad you wrote about it. I’m still thinking about this: “joy in later life isn’t accidental—it’s an ‘inside job.’ ” So true! The older I get, the more joy-filled I hope to be!
Me, too, Lois. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have to be intentional about joy; it should just happen. And sometimes it does. But a long-lasting joy seems to come from intentionally living our values, and that’s what I want too.