How One Mistake Made Me Like Her More
A few of us had scheduled a Zoom meeting with a friend to give her feedback on an article she was writing. We’d met a couple of times online already, but I still felt a little nervous about the whole process. My own insecurities rise to the surface in newer situations like this.
The scheduled time arrived. But the friend didn’t show up. We waited for her. Then waited a little longer. She was still a no-show, and we didn’t know why. We stayed on the line nonetheless and took the conversation in a different direction until our hour was almost over.
Then five minutes before we were scheduled to sign off, the friend suddenly popped up on the screen!
After a few seconds, it dawned on her what had happened. She wasn’t a few minutes early, as she thought, but was an hour late. She’d forgotten to adjust for time zones.
She was so embarrassed.
But in that moment, instead of feeling annoyed at her for her mistake, I liked her even more.
Because haven’t we all been there? Haven’t we all been red-faced and apologetic for doing something illogical?
It’s part of being human.
If it had been me, I know I would have felt as mortified as she did though. It’s hard to give grace to yourself when you’re the one messing up. Humanity doesn’t seem as endearing when you’re the one demonstrating it.
But for those on the other side, watching someone make a blunder who is normally so put-together actually makes them more relatable. We often connect with each other the most in our moments of vulnerability and imperfection.
There’s even a name for it: the pratfall effect. It’s what happens when someone we already admire makes a mistake. We can feel more fondness toward them as a result of their humanity. But if someone we don’t already like happens to make that same mistake? We like them even less. It’s not fair, so we need to watch for it, but it happens.
My takeaway from my friend’s embarrassing moment? Aim for competence, but don’t sweat it when you flub up now and again. It won’t make your friends like you any less.
Your flaws might actually make them like you even more, for being imperfect, just like them.
Have you liked someone even more after seeing them make a mistake? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Oh, Lisa, if this had been a mistake that I had made, I’d also want to sink into the floor! But what you’ve taught us today is the power of grace and forgiveness. I agree, had I been you, that I would have liked this friend even more after her flub. She did show us so much about being human, didn’t she?
Have a blessed weekend!
Thank you for pointing the way to grace! I feel as if online living has expanded our potential for embarrassment and error!
grace, grace grace. I am seeing that all over the place lately. When I catch myself judging someone else, wow, find grace instead. so much better!
This is such a timely post for me, Lisa. My husband had made arrangements with a gentleman to deliver firewood to him. My husband also told me of the day and time. Circumstances beyond his control was going to keep the man from being there for the delivery on the set time and he and my husband came up with another date. And my husband told me what that time was. However, I forgot about the second time that was set and caused a problem that my husband needed to straighten out with the gentleman. I did apologize and the man was very forgiving, but still…
I’ve not heard that term ‘flub’ before Lisa but I like it!
I remember years ago asking ‘flubbing up’ with a new acquaintance. Having just started a new ministry I asked her to join us for dinner later that week. Then promptly forgot (very unlike me) & the night of the dinner, I cooked dinner & ate it with my family, cleaned up & sat down for a relaxing evening when a knock at the door startled me.
When I opened it & saw her standing there I was absolutely mortified. I did own up much to my embarassment.
I cooked her a meal as she sat in the kitchen chatting & commented to me that, “this made me like you even more!”
A very humbling experience.
blessings, Jennifer
Hi, Lisa – I long ago heard that if nervous about a speaking engagement, spilling your coffee (or some similar minor blunder) can often help the audience relate to you better. Although I hadn’t previously heard the term “pratfall effect” it makes much sense.
Lisa, I appreciate your perspective on your friend’s embarrassing moment. I had never considered it that way, but I like it. Thank you for sharing with us at The Crazy Little Lovebirds link party #60.
Love this. Although we know that no one else is more perfect than we are, it can still be easy to think that others have everything figured out in a way that we don’t. Learning that they don’t and that they feel just like we can definitely help us to like them more. Lovely post. I love how you take small moments and share with us big lessons.
Yes, Lisa: we have all been there! Thank you for expressing this aspect of our humanness so articulately. A very helpful reminder of how we all need to give and receive grace.
Gratefully,
Katie
Lisa, when you feel that “a ha” moment you know you have it going on! This is one of my features for this week’s WTJR, thank you for sharing with us, I appreciate it!